Summary:
A hellish battle
Alastor watched as the tall-ish imp cracked his knuckles. "Been a while since I've advertised. Need to get myself back in the game." Such a fun day. So many new souls … apparently living ones. "Okay! Hi there, I'm Blitz, the O is silent!"
"What O?" The girl, Luz, asked.
"Exactly! Now then, while normal imps take on hit work, we took our craft a step farther." The man went on. "We offer a one of a kind revenge! We go up to the living world and murder anyone you have a problem with!"
"...Wait ... you WHAT!?" Charlie shouted. "You're killing humans!?"
"Yes, just said it. Get the wax out of your ears." He rolled his eyes.
"That's ... That's INCREDIBLY-" Charlie began to protest.
"Awesome!" The pink boy, Lucifer, cheered. "How much would it take to murder a sperm donor?"
"Oooh, respectable target. We offer half off this week. A thousand dollars."
"Aw man, I left all my money with Spinel.." The boy muttered with a pout. "Guess I'll just have to steal it from someone else."
"Such fun individuals." Alastor chuckled, already feeling wonderful amusement and entertainment. "Quite the cavalcade of Chaos we've collected."
"Alastor, I swear to god.." Vaggie grumbled, before taking a breath. "You were saying… Blitz, was it?"
"Right, right, okay, so before, I used to go to the human world using this fancy smancy book that could could control the stars or something shit-"
"How did you get a grimoire!?" Charlotte shouted.
"Fucked a bird." The Blitz imp shrugged.
"Ex boyfriend." The shorter female imp, Millie, loudly whispered.
"Mill's, I will slap you silly and dock Moxie's pay if you keep saying that." The taller imp glared. "It wasn't like that, it was a completely mutual transitional fucking that we both agreed didn't work."
"… I don't have to worry about my palisman, do I?" The blonde child, Hunter, questioned.
"Nah, your bird's ass is too flat." That made the smaller male imp, Moxie, slap Blitz in the head. "Hey!"
"Sir, stop being crude to the children and get to the point."
"He asked-whatever." He groaned. "Point is, I now got a crystal I can use to portal you fuckers topside." He showed off a yellow jewel on his wrist coupling.
"Wait, that's an asmodean crystal!" Charlie shouted.
"From my ex fuck mate, yes, keep up princess."
"But-but, that would mean you got approval from Asmodeous himself-that-that breaks SO many regulations-"
"It's hell, no one cares about humans dying." He said bluntly. "The only reason I'm doing this is because Mills seems to be attached to that blonde boy like he's her son."
"So what?" Millie patted the scarred boy on the head. "You have Loona, why can't I have this?"
"Yeah, but we've killed orphanages before. Why have you never taken one of them, and someone less … ugo?"
Punch
The girl with green hair and glasses, Willow, punched the Imp in the face. "Gah, I swear I will STOP being so nice-!" And Vaggie took out her spear.
"Just get the kids home." The manager of the hotel glared.
"Wait, hold on, we still need to find Amity and Boscha." Luz blinked. "We can't leave.. Or.. I can't at least.. I'll stay behind-"
"Not without me you won't." The little pink boy placed a hand on his shoulder. "If you're staying, I'm staying."
"But Lucci-"
"No butts about it.. Besides, Hells awesome." The boy grinned. "I'm not going to complain about staying here for a few more hours/days, months, however long it takes. I mean, do you know anywhere else that embraces explosions, stealing all you want, and musical numbers!?"
"..Yeah, no offense Luz, but the quicker we escape THAT, the better." Gus whimpered.
"None taken, it's my mess to clean up anyways." The girl sighed. "So, anyone have tracker magic we can use?"
"I can expand my reach if the princess so desires it." Still had to play the fairy god father to earn that deal …
"Alright, fuck faces, time to go." The tallish-imp announced as a diamond-like portal opened in the air. "Get in line, single file and jump in."
"Were not leaving until we find Amity, Boscha, and Spinel." Lucifer glared. "Close your portal."
"What, sorry, can't hear you, throwing someone into a portal." He grabbed the little witch, Gus, and tossed him in-
Spark
Who was sent flying backwards and through the wall. "… I'm killing him." Lucifer cracked his knuckles.
"Wait, hold on, I'm still your only way out-fuck hes taking out the blades!" He shouted.
"Wait, hold on." Charlie held her hand, grabbing the blade without cutting herself, and even holding the wild child by the shirt without a struggle.
"... You are stronger than you look." The boy looked confused.
"Daughter of Lucifer." Husker pointed out from the bar. "She'd be the second strongest person in hell if she wasn't such a pushover." Annoying, but true AND insulting, so he'd let it slide.
"I'm not a pushover." Charlie argued. "I just believe violence is never the answer and that everyone deserves a second chance."
"... It's like Vee on naive steroids." Willow muttered.
"I know." Luz nodded. "So what, are we dead and stuck here forever?"
"Either that or this thing's on the Fritz." Blitz muttered. "Mox, try tonguing it again."
"Sir, not in front of the little ones-" The short imp grumbled.
"Then I guess they ain't getting a portal from me, cause it didn't work."
"Look, we can hash out the portal thing later." Luz shook her head. "We can't go back without the others anyways. We can get the portal down later."
"Right." Lucci muttered. "So where were we on that tracking thing?"
"I'll send the shadows now. What are their descriptions?" Alastor questioned, his army emerging from the darkness.
"My lovely Boscha Heiryonimous, light breezy and fair pink skin, scarlet pinkish red hair that burns like bright fire, three beautiful eyes perfectly stack in a lovely pryimid-" oh brother..
"Found her." Angel Dust spoke up, looking at his cellular device. "She's Velvette's latest snag, sorry for your loss."
"... What the fuck are you talking about?" The boy glowed a vicious pink.
"She's one of the Vs." Husker explained. "Overlords with less morals than chuckles over here."
"It's true, so degenerate, no manners." He tsked. "My best guess is that they'll fornicate her against her will, or rip out her brain and put silly little wires on it to make her obedient, or petrify her into an eternal statue if she doesn't do her job well enough."
The boy growled, marching to the door. "They're DEAD!"
"Hold on, hold on!" Charlie ran to the front door, holding her hand out ... stopping the kid in place. "You don't know where you're going or how to handle this!"
"Five city blocks down, the massive V shaped building." He helpfully added.
"Alastor!" Vaggie shouted.
"What, I'm simply helping the little one with his fruitless endeavor of the heart, if he dies along the way, then there'll be a pleasant story to take away from it." Plus, the snake was making things boring. The first one, not the second.
"And I know how to handle this. Punch the rapist!"
"He ain't exactly wrong." Luz shrugged, pulling out a sword. "That's common sense in ANY world."
"So what, we just break into this Velvette girl's place and break her out." Gus spoke out.
"She's an overlord." Husker said bluntly.
"... Aaannnd …" The blonde boy asked with a raised eyebrow. "You keep saying that, but we don't know what it means."
"They're the only people in Pride that have power and respect in droves." The cat explained.
"They have magic from owning souls. The more you own, the more powerful you are." Moxxie added. "And their soul collection ranges in the millions."
"And once they own your soul ... they own it till you double kick the bucket." The spider held his head down while holding onto his torso.
"Then I guess we're fighting till we double kick the bucket." Luz growled.
"Look, this is me being nice and trying to be helpful. Dealing with Overlords is no picnic, just ask princessa here." Angel Dust pointed to Charlie. "Unless you have something they want, they don't bargain and they don't do reason."
"And they have our friend, in magical chains." The girl went on. "Meaning that unless we're comfortable watching them suffer for eternity, which we aren't, the only option is to take the fight to them. And Charlie's too much of a pacifist to do anything, and Alastor just wants to watch us suffer, so I know we aren't getting any help on that front."
"True." Ivan nodded. "There's not much incentive to save a witch on my end."
"... Wait a fuck-is that freaking Ivan?!' Lucci shouted.
"Indeed, crystal devil child."
"Tried murdering him, Charlie didn't let me-long story." Luz waved her hand. "Pick a lane, focus on Boscha or him."
"Boscha obviously." The boy groaned. "Okay, me and my friends are heading out now, anyone that wants to help us is welcomed, otherwise stay the fuck out of the way."
"I-well-I-come on-can't we-" They moved past her. "Guys!"
"Come now Charlotte, you've met Valentino before." Alastor snickered. "Did you really think there was a peaceful solution? After your last attempt at confronting them?"
The girl turned to Angel Dust, who just sighed. "..." Speechless.. like music to his ears.
"Well I'm not letting the tot or his buddies bite the bullet that easily, come on Mox." The lady imo grabbed the short male's arms. "A bitch is going to die tonight."
"... Guess I'm alone …" Blitz turned to Angel Dust. "You free tonight?"
"I'm free right now, short stuff." The spider snickered. "And let me tell you right now ... I'm very wet and sticky at the moment."
"Finally, someone speaking common sense!" They walked off.
"... Sssshould we grab ear plugssss?" Pentious questioned.
"Why ruin a good time?" Nifty asked. "I'm heading to the vents to get a good look." And the little girl jumped into the covers.
".. I'll get the incense to cover the smell."
=======================================================================
Hunter walked right behind as Lucci grumbled and marched. "So … usual plan? Lucci shit talks them, gets rag dolled a bit, we get Boscha, we perform a fusion if things get extremely dicey and get out with some more trauma?"
"If I don't blow up the building first, yes." Clawthorne grumbled. "I need to make sure Boscha's safe first. After that ... nothing's off the table." Lucci growled. "They think they can treat my angel like a toy and get away with it…. No fucking way."
"So… what exactly do these.. V's do?" Luz asked Moxxie And Mille as she practiced with her sword.
"All Overlords handle parts of the city and economy in Pride since King Lucifer is …" Moxxie trailed off.
"A sad clown in depression cause his wife left him." Millie nodded. "The fuckers sell porn, electronics, and media."
"Wait, Porn?" Willow spoke up. "They're powerful from porn?"
"It's hell, most media, even for kids, is rated M at its lowest rating." Moxxie explained. "Plus this IS the city where degenerates end up when they die."
"Right.." Hunter muttered. "So ... you guys regularly kill people?"
"All the time!" Millie grinned. "Any dead fucker that wants Anyone on top pushing daisies, we deliver no matter how high or low we need to go. I'm the muscle of the operation, and my lovely husband here can shoot a bitch from any angle."
"I'm just good with guns." The imp chuckled. "But yeah, we can handle the heavy lifting. And don't worry about going crazy on these fuckers, unless you have holy steel on you, they'll keep coming back, so just rip them up till they're shredded like paper."
"That was the freakin plan." Clawthorne growled as they walked up to a.. frankly tacky looking tower covered in V's at the front.
"Ugh, kind of an eyesore." Gus muttered. "Even for a place in hell."
"They're relatively new money, they kind of go against the grain of Hell's usual infrastructure." Moxxie explained. "Now, the porn star said that your friend was with Velvette, she's the one that has major influence on fashion and social media in hell."
"Cut up the dresses, got it." Willow nodded as they approached the front door.
"And be aware, Vox, the one with the TV head, has control over all technology, and can teleport himself anywhere as long as they're electricity." Moxxie added.
"So just keep moving fast." Luz nodded. "Lucci, manticore mode so we can ram through everything."
"Already planning on it." The pink boy growled.
"Uhh … kido." Millie winced. "Are you sure you wanna take on the Vs directly? It ain't exactly-"
"For the love of whatever deity you believe, yes, I can take a couple of overhyped media wannabes!" He shouted. "We battled Belos, a four hundred year old witch hunter who studied thousands of magic spells! We never got help before and we still survived! We have this!"
"The manticore pretty much spot on." Luz sighed as she climbed on his back. "Come on, hop on and get ready for the mess."
"I'll walk, it's best to avoid Clathorne's range of chaos at the moment." Hunter shrugged. "Without Flapjack I can't use magic."
"So Luz is better. We all knew that."
"We'll stay back and back him up." Willow muttered. "Now come on, let's get a move on, we don't need to stick around hell any longer than we need to."
"Don't have to tell me twice!" Lucci kicked down the door. "BRING ME MY ANGEL!"
"Ugh, another Angel Dust fan." A glowfish demon at a desk grumbled. "Can't you just send creepy fan letters like everyone else?"
"GRAAAA!" Hunter walked by the carnage, ignoring the screams as the manticore did its work. He would normally be more wary of straight up massacring … but this was hell. Literally everyone deserved it.
"So this entire building is for supporting fornication?" He asked.
"Pretty much. Blitz subscribes to all the channels they sell." Millie nodded as she looked away. "Ooh, eel fucker, stab!" She threw a knife into an eel looking demon's head, killing it.
"So where would Boscha be?" Willow asked. "Somewhere on a lower level?"
"If she's the personal pet project of the V's themselves, then she's probably at the very top." Moxxie explained. "It's rumored that Velvette likes to get… personal, wither clients before putting them to work. If I were to assume her mentality, she probably has your friend inebriated in some way."
"I'm coming, BOSCHA!" Clawthorne left through the ceiling, leaving a gaping hole.
"... Stairs?" He asked the captain.
"Like we have any other choice." The girl groaned.
=======================================================================
Boscha tried to push Velvette-lovely sweet delectable need-out of her mind. Antidote. Fucking how do you make antidote for-flushed cheeks and beeting heart and caressing wisperes-fucking stop! Brain.. Brain wasn't… clear.. Only… the sweet release from her mistress would cure her-no-no-fuck-stop!
Mind.. mess.. Poision all over her body… if her Mom was here… she would be so disappointed knowing that she got roofied ... with a potion of all things… fuck.. What the hell was she thinking? You NEVER drank from a stranger… Especially in fucking hell, where bad people went! Except Velvette, who you needed to cherish and cure and take the deal so she could bend you over-FOCUS! You had Lucci to fill your need. But he's not here, and they WERE making a list-FUCK!
Okay.. okay, what the fuck was here… what the fuck was here-to gift their devilish beauty for all their kindness-to break whatever fucking control the bitch had on her.. The only thing around was the freaking potion-potion-the bitch left the original potion here!
"Make … antidote … need … ingredients …" Analyse components, fit in a reverse, kiss her soft delicate lips as they aggressively push you down-focus and reverse it! Okay, what chemicals did she have to work with.. Some flowers, perfumes, and lips sticks-gotta make yourself taste good once she gets a bite out you-fuck! This potion sucked!
Gather, gather, gather. Use the acid vials you have to break down the chemicals-as hard as Velvette's going to break you-Keep your hands steady.. Stop shaking-stop fucking shaking! Be delicate, you need delicate, calm, quite-
CRRRASSSH
"BOOOSSHAAAAA!" Lucci called out, coming through the floor.
"..Ow.." And Luz apparently, being on his back. "A little roof,
"Lucci!" She cried out at the repulsive boy she couldn't even begin comparing to Velvette-fuck! "Love potion. Compromised …"
"On it!" He grabbed ahold of her face ... and pressed his sweet-vile, disgusting, putried-lovely lips all over, his delicate and gros-lovely taste entering her mouth ... as her insides began to feel sparkly and light.
"That ... that was-" Amazing, romantic… the thoughts were gone, the bad thoughts were gone- "Fuck yes, Lucci, you did it!" She hugged her beautiful crystal. "I.. I thought I was never going to see you again." She cried in his arms.
"I'd never let anything happen to you angel, not even in a wonderful place like Hell." He smiled.
"..Wonderfu-what the fuck are you talking about?" She raised an eyebrow. "It's literally hell."
"I know, I've been able to spread anarchy and sing about it, and apparently it's the standard here!" He shouted with glee. "I'm so happy to stay here with you when it's all said and done, my lovely."
"..Crystal, I hate to disagree with you, but that's the worst idea you've ever had."
He blinked, his glow dying down. "But we're criminals and violent people. We'll go down here no matter what."
"Yeah, but I don't want to be here now, this place sucks!" She shouted. "And I don't care what I have to fight, I'm crawling out of hell!"
"Focus lovebirds, did she take your soul?" Luz interrupted as she got up.
"No.." Boscha shook her head. "She was waiting for the potion to take me over to.. 'Seal the deal'." Like Kevin 2.0, only more rapey.. If that was even possible.
"Good, let's set some charges and blow." The girl said as she looked around. "Easier to just destroy the infrastructure than it is to kill people more unkillable than Belos."
"I have never been in more agreement with you Luz, totally on board… except you know, they're kind of the most powerful people around.." Boscha went on.
"We heard the speeches over and over again, Overloads, own millions of souls, yadda, yadaa yadda." Lucci rolled his eyes. "They hurt you, they're not getting away with it."
"Lucci-!" She loudly whispered. "This isn't a punch your way out of problem, we're royally F'D in a place like this!"
"How though?" Luz asked. "So they have powers. Velvette just roofied you instead of writing your name against your will."
"Because she was trying to brainwash me into loving what she was about to do to me. I've met my share of control freaks, heck, I won't deny that I AM a control freak.. And this bitch is the freakiest on top of the freak sundae with a freak freaking cherry!"
"Awwwwwww…" Red smoke began to feel the room. "And here I thought we had a real connection, Boschy.." Red thread shot through Boscha's shoulder. "It's always the pretty ones that make it the hardest.
"FUCK!" She screamed out as it began wrapping around her.
"Oh no you don't!" Luz swung her sword against the thread … the sword that cut through magic and Belos himself like butter … and bounced off.
"Pfft, what the fuck is that oversized butter knife suppose to do? Scratch cracks into my fabrics ... I'd actually be impressed if it cut, my material aint' cheep." The bitch snickered as she wove a thread right through Luz's left leg.
"AGGGH!"
"These your little friend's Boschy?" The bitch snickered as she dragged Luz across the floor. "Not impressed. Specially with this one, kind of manish for a girl, don't you think.. Less your into that, in which case, we gotta work on your taste, dear."
"Oh you have pushed ALL MY BUTTONS!" Lucci shouted, forming a giant pink buzzsaw and throwing it forward.
"Saws are soo last season." The girl didn't even bother paying attention to it, tapping her phone. "Canceled." And the attack … vanished.
"..What the-!?" And two threads went right into Lucci's chest.
"I have to say, your style of pink is so disastrous. What are you going for, salmon? Please, everyone knows magenta's the way to go." The woman laughed. "Okay Bosh, new deal. Sign over your life, and I won't use angelic weapons to rip their souls to shred. You get to keep your friends, we all win, yay."
"How.. about…" Lucci's body began healing.. Pushing out the threads in him. "We just skip to the part where you LOOSE!" And summoned two shields and smashed them against each other.
BOOOOOONGGGGGG
Creating a shockwave that made most of the room crumble and shatter, the glass of the windows around them.
"Huh …" Velvette blinked, pulling up her phone. "Val, Vox, you busy?"
"No, just beating up some imps and strangely living fuckers."
"Bring em all here, I think we're gonna have more fun than you realize." She smirked … as in a second, two red people covered in blood materialized with a bit of static … along with bruised bodies of Willow, Hunter, and Gus.
"Guys!" Luz shouted.
"Ooooh." Some moth with heart glasses floated in. "Who's the pink boy, he looks FUN to wreck!"
"Couple of interlopers that are trying to wreck my latest project." Velve chuckled. "Be a dear and, teach them a lesson if you would, dibs on any of them afterwards.
"We'll do it the best way we know how …" A TV headed man chuckled. "Song!"
"Pfft, no one's beaten me with music before, and no one's going to start now!" Lucci shouted, growling out horns on his head… as darkness covered everything.
"There's a first time for everything.. Especially here… brat." Except the blue glow.. Of a sharky looking grin.
=======================================================================
Lucci looked at the screen as he finally pulled free. This fight started off bad, and he was the only one standing … time to put in the effort. "Okay fuckers, you asked for this!" He leapt forward. "Hurt me all you want, I'll just rip off your arms, hurt my friends, I'll take off your legs.. Hurt my ANGEL… AND YOU GET EVISCERATED!!!"
"Oh is that a fact little boy? What's your story?" The tv headed man mocked as he leaned against a wall. "Dead from a wild animal mauling, suddenly think he's top shit and challenging the strongest in hell? Bold move, bold move, I'd say you'd remind me of myself… except I'm not that stupid." He pressed a finger against him.. And sent electricity into his face.
"I'm shock proof, idio-"
BZZZT
A… burning sensation that Lucci had NEVER felt before… was coursing through his body, sending him flying as EVERY fiber of his skin was buzzing. "GAAAAAA!" He screamed.
"Tell me you still haven't been deflowered yet." The moth man chuckled, constantly expelling some red smoke as he grabbed Lucci's arm … with crushing strength. "It'll be nice to rip it from ya."
"You littllllleeeeee-" Why did his tongue feel numb. Why was he smelling colors?
Crack
"AAAAHHHHH!!!" He clutched his arm.
"Huh, meant to rip the thing off." The moth man noted. "Only broke it in half though."
"Yeah, that's why I asked for help, somethings weird with this little fucker." The bitch that touched his angel walked around him, pressing a heel into his back. "Tougher than the usual sport around here, needed the extra juice to break him down."
"Of course, of course. I call first dibs on these fuckers though. The boy with the petty illusions could make a nice light crew." The tv man grinned, shocking Gus's body.
"GAAAAH!"
"Leave…" Lucci shoved his arm back into place. "Leave them… alone!" He leapt forward.
"Welcome to the internet." The man simply walked back … as Lucci fell into static. "Have a look around." He saw screen after screen, miles and miles of it. "Anything that brain of yours can think of can be found. We've got mountains of content, Some better, some worse." It showed off a picture of the tv man grinning with fanfare and that Alastor guy covered in bad doodles for some reason "If none of it's of interest to you, you'd be the first."
"The hell is-"
"Welcome to the internet. Come and take a seat." Lucci fell into a chair. "Would you like to see the news or any famous women's feet?" The moth man asked, dressed as a newscaster, before a giant foot slammed into Lucci hard enough to send him flying. "There's no need to panic. This isn't a test, haha." He laughed. "Just nod or shake your head and we'll do the rest."
"Welcome to the internet, What would you prefer?" The bitch asked as he was slammed into a podium, two of her on each side holding up banners. "Would you like to fight for civil rights or tweet a racial slur?" She shoved multiple picket signs through his torso. "Be happy, Be horny, Be bursting with rage!" She laughed, kicking the spikes deeper. "We got a million different ways to engage."
"NO MORE!" He created multiple bubbles, firing them … before they were popped with finger pokes and amused stares.
"Welcome to the internet!! Put your cares aside" The tv man wrapped him in some kind of electric rope and threw him into some kind of grinder. "Here's a tip for straining pasta! Here's a nine-year-old who died!" A skeleton of some kid was thrown at his face. "We got movies, and doctors, and fantasy sports!"
"And a bunch of colored pencil drawings of all the different characters in Azura the good witch fucking each other…!" The moth man shoved some badly made drawings that looked like fanart luz would make."
"Wait what-!?" Luz shouted from somewhere in the darkness.
"Welcome to the internet, hold on to your socks." The bitch held onto his angel tightly. "'Cause a random guy just kindly sent you photos of his cock." She smirked, showing off a phoone that caused Boscha to blush. "They are grainy and off-putting, He just sent you more … Don't act surprised, you know you like it, you whore!" She dug her nails into the girl's face anddrew blood.
"RAAAA!!!" The beast abandoned sanity to attack, only for a blade to slice him.
"See a man beheaded" A knife was thrown into his neck.
"Get offended, see a shrink!" A therapy book was thrown on his head.
"Show us pictures of your children." The moth man took a photo of his friends with a… disturbing smile
"Tell us every thought you think"
"Start a rumor, buy a broom"
"Or send a death threat to a boomer"
"Or DM a girl and groom her"
"Do a Zoom or find a tumor in your-"
He couldn't even narrate their actions anymore. Too fast, too much pain. So much, so fast, so overwhelming.
"Here's a healthy breakfast option."
"You should kill your mom."
"Here's why women never fuck you"
"Here's how you can build a bomb"
"Which Power Ranger are you?"
"Take this quirky quiz."
"Obama sent the immigrants to vaccinate your kids."
Lucci could barely breathe, as he was grabbed on all sides.
"Could we interest you in everything, All of the time?" The monsters sang in unison, ripping at his limbs. "A little bit of everything, All of the time?" They laughed with wicked glee. "Apathy's a tragedy, and boredom is a crime. Anything and everything, all of the time!"
"Could we interest you in everything, all of the time? A little bit of everything, all of the time? Apathy's a tragedy, and boredom is a crime! Anything and everything, all of the time!"
He.. he was weak … he couldn't fight ... these monsters ... he ... he couldn't fight … anybody in this hell…. "Alright then, just a little more and I think I can put this fucker's head on a pike." The TV twisted and pulled.
"Cool. I'll get started on the blonde kid, he looks like a nice warm body."
"Why ... just ... why?"
"... Why not?" The bitch chuckled. "It's eat or be eaten down here … and you're about to get roasted, bitch." And his neck kept getting twisted more and more, an unsettling crack filling the air.
=======================================================================
Amity felt … weird right now. "And then I ended up kissing her right on the cheek without any prompting..!"
"And she was still in denial about it?" The so-called embodiment of lust chuckled as she sat on his shoulder as they walked into a golden looking elevator.
"Didn't help that I didn't explain myself ... but yeah, I kissed her, and I hoped things would work out from there ... then her … guess best way to put it would be pet, worm bird thing hooked us up with a tunnel of love style ride, hearts and shipping signs everywhere"
"And then she confessed?"
"No, she got super embarrassed and said we were just friends while setting it on fire, causing the worm bird thing to start going crazy until she finally confessed."
"Wow… that is somehow worse than when Fizzipop confessed to me. Little frog was the most nervous shit you've ever seen. He couldn't stand still for the life of him." It was weird.. Because Amity, for the first time in years.. Was enjoying spending her time with an adult.. Actually talking and being comfortable sharing her experiences.
Eda was a child in a woman's body, Camilla was more of an obstacle to Luz's affection, Waybright …was complicated, Lilith was a bitch, and her mom.. Well, calling her a bitch was being too kind. And Amity more or less felt.. Kind of cold about her dad, even if the whole 'being helpful' thing at the last minute did give her some mixed emotions about it.
This guy was just … a man who lived her life, in a realm where evil souls went and where sin thrived … and he was so CHILL about everything. Just calmly listening to her complaints and offering advice. "But he did confess?" She asked.
"Barely, he was trying to stretch his robotic limbs out to spell out 'I love you', but the sweat made it glitch, so it spelled 'I fuck you', which, given it's me, wasn't a deal breaker…. But we never made it to bed that night." Asmodeus smiled. "He went on rambling about how 'he screwed everything up, he's not worth it'... so.. I just let him rant, offered him a drink, and let him keep talking."
"..And that helped?"
"It was a start." The fire roster chuckled. "Truth of the matter is.. I've lived for so long that I've experienced every sensual feeling there can ever exist, physically, doing the deed doesn't do much ... but sharing the moment with someone that wants to give just as much back … that's a spark that always lights up my world."
"Mmm." She looked out the window. "... What do you do when they try to give too much back?"
"Sadly; don't have any advice for that little grape. This is hell, the selfless die off before they're five." He sighed. "Fizzie almost burnt himself to the bone trying to do that. Now he carries a lot of resentment for the people in his past … he's sorta making it up with this one imp guy though."
"... So.. I'm just going to have to let her crash?" Amity asked.
"Sometimes the best thing we can do for the ones we love is to just catch them when they fall." The man nodded. "That girl of yours? Is she determined? Driven? More stubborn than a hellhorse on fire?"
"Replace hellhorse with snorse, and yes, completely… it's part of why I love her so much." Amity grinned.
"Then telling her no is just gonna make her gonna go after it more … you know, like any parent and a kid." He smirked. "At this rate she might call ya mommy."
"....I kind of have this whole thing about being a parent and being scared of having my own kids ... so ... I don't know how to take that." She admitted.
"That's how most people are ... but the moment your sweetheart says it, it instantly flips a switch."
"Do you have to make everything sexual?" She asked.
"No, but it defuses tension quite well, wouldn't ya say?" His three heads grinned.
"..Do all three of your heads have the same mind, or do they have their own consciousness?"
"Same mind, I just find the concept fun." He chuckled. "Somethin different and stylish. Technically, I could be any shape, but this form is what most people find attractive." She had no idea what that said about humanity or witch kind. The elevator opened up. "Oh Fizzie, I got myself a living girl from the demon realm!"
"Really?" A colorful looking demon blinked, white pale face with black metallic limbs. "I thought we weren't going to adopt until our fifties ... well, my fifties at least."
"Wasn't intentional, but I wasn't gonna leave her on the streets." He shrugged. "Plus I'm sending her back topside when she gathers herself together and finds her friends. Name's Amity, but I nickname her horny little grape." She twitched.
"Looks more like a poisoned elf to me." And twitched some more.
"Well, at least I don't look like peppermint back left to sunbathe in a sea of dried up blood from a nosebleed." She glared back.
The clown looking demon looked at her… and snickered. "Heh, got some bite in you, don't ya?"
"Controlling mom." She nodded. "I learned to break the chain when I beat her to death and set her factory on fire with my friends."
"Oooh, lucky you. Ice cream's on the bottom shelf of the fridge." The clown offered. "Name's Fizzaroli, but call me Fizzie."
"On purpose?" Amity smirked.
"Hahaha, like I haven't heard that before." The imp snarked. "Top clown in all of hell, gotta do better than that if ya want to burn me."
"Too sudden for my A game, give me an hour." She shot back. Now, how to find her friends … if Lucci was here, he'd just cause some big explosion …
"Ugh, shit's going down in pride again, and not in a good way." Asmodeous grumbled as he scrolled through his phone. "Fucking V's."
"Another roofie?" Fizzie asked.
"Nope, they're showing off child torture as a snuff film." The sin winced. "Trying to twist off this lion kid's head off. No taste I tell you."
"Lion kid…" That ... that sounded like- "Let me see!" She grabbed the phone.
"Hey now, that's pretty intense for a-" She looked at it … seeing Lucci … flickering … bleeding … scared.
"Seriously, why hasn't this thing popped by now!? I've spun your neck around seventeen times!" Some guy with a tv head asked, continuously shocking him.
"Just get the holy weapons, make it quick and easy." A man in a red suit scoffed, standing on two red bodies as he held up Willow. "You got muscle mommy potential under those clothes. How about we lose the shades." And he socked her in the face.
"Stop it.. Stop it-!" Luz…her luz… shouted, trying to fight back.. As a black skin, magenta haired BITCH, scratched her across the face, scarring her eyes.
"Aww, is the little girl gonna cry?" The BITCH laughed. "Come on, at least the others look interesting. You look about as useless as the imps. Pull out some magic, show some grit, tell a fuckin joke!"
"... Look … in …" Luz coughed blood onto the woman's heels. "... Mirror …"
"...Alright, now you're going to lose your tongue." The bitch pulled out a fucking knife.
"I gotta get to them!" Amity shouted, before being stopped by Asmodeous.
"Hold it, horney grape, you don't know what your-"
"I don't care, my friends, my GIRLFRIEND, is being tortured right now, I can't just leave them like this!" She shouted.
"..." The giant demon blinked, before taking a deep breath. "Fine, I'll help. But I can't put them down for good. WAY too much paperwork." He stood up. "Fizzie pop, order take out, I'm gonna be busy for the next few hours."
"I'll make it the best burger take out you've ever had." The demon grinned as he stretched his legs out, and kissed the sin on the cheek… cheeks. "Fuck-em up Ozzie, fuck em up in the least sexy way possible."
"You know I only save the good stuff for you." He chuckled. "Come on little grape, we're takin the express route, and I need my good books for that."
"I …" Amity blinked … he was doing this … for her … "Thank you."
"Eh, it ain't nothin."
=======================================================================
Vox growled, looking over the intruder, the pink lion brat, who was somehow ALIVE despite the holy knife. "Okay, you are officially the WEIRDEST creature I've come across!" He exclaimed. Who the hell didn't die when stabbed in the organs by an angelic blade!? "What the fuck even are you?"
"I.. I have…I have.. A lot of names…Some I like… some I don't.." The brat coughed. "Manticore Menace, Owlett, Crystal Devil, Steven…. The only thing.. I will say.. Is that.. Tougher than you.. Have tried to kill me… and they've…" They coughed blood. "They've…failed too."
"So this is gonna be my whole day, stabbing a kid." He groaned. So much of his schedule; wasted. "Hands off the blackie, you two, I still wanna use his magic for my midnight special."
"Aww, he's so dainty though ... he'd be a good cumdump for at least one shooting." Val moaned as he dropped the bleeding midget like rag, before picking up the chubby one. "Least this one seems usable for a couple of rounds." He slapped her face. "Like a punching bag, durable for a hardcore all out go at it."
"Fuck … you …" The girl coughed.
"That's the plan bitch." Val snickered. "Velv, you got what you need."
"Whole ordeal knocked out my next prospect out cold.. Eh, I could still have some fun with this." The fashionista snickered as she began dragging the triclops. "Don't have much use for the dyke looking girl though, too manish."
"Eh, me neither … Voxy, you want the latino chick?"
"Yeah fine, I could use the experimental corpse. This one's too fucked up." Vox waved offhandedly as he continued stabbing the stretched out, less pink boy.
"You..you hurt her… I.. I smash that face…" The brat coughed.
"Kid, you're obviously new to hell, so given how you won't be alive for more then, probably the next week or so, I'm going to give you this tiny tid bit to sink into your head." He flicked the brat's head. "Bad endings dominate the market! The power of friendship, underdogs overcoming the odds, dues ex machina, all fucking left the moment you bit the big one!" He stabbed them again. "You never stood a chance of saving your friends or loved ones, moron."
"I don't believe in happily ever after..cause.. I don't believe in endings.." The brat coughed.
"News flash, this IS the ending. Hell, end of the fucking line. Your only options are thriving through the suffering of everyone around you, suffering, or double death!"He went to stab them again-
CLIICKGRCKA
Only for the kid to start spazzing out like a scratched up DVD and vomit up a … lung? No, kidney. "GAAAAAH!"
"Did you finally hit a vital organ?" Val asked.
"No, he spazzed out on his own." He admitted. "Maybe the regeneration's taking it's toll … maybe I can finish before evening after all!" No missing out on his dinner and sex.
THUMP THUMP THUMP
"Ugh,is that a hell quake?" Velvette groaned. "I thought those were supposed to be a bloody myth."
"They … are …" One of the imps groaned from their cages.
THUMP THUMP THUMP
"Then what the hell's shaking the building, I got a shoot at three, and I can't afford to have the cameras jerking around while my actors are jerking off!" Val shouted.
Vox checked the cameras … "Ah shit."
THUMP THUMP FWOSH
Blue fire of tantalizing desires burned the room. "On your knees, now." The three Vs quickly complied, falling onto their knees for the Sin of Lust.
"..A-a-a-Ozzie… you're ... You're here-" Val stuttered as he trembled to stand still.
"That's Asmodeus to you, rapist." The fire surrounded his partner and got more intense.
"Of course, Lord Asmodeus." Vox was the face, he knew how to suck it up more than these two crazies. "What brings you to our humble, small place of work?"
"She's with me." He pointed down to … some peeved looking girl with purple hair.
"And she's with me." She pointed down to the dyke.
"Cotton … candy goddess …" They got out, before coughing blood.
"You hurt my friends." Purple hair said bluntly.
"You hurt her friends." … Well, fuck, if there was one thing no one could account for.. It was what little act could piss off a freaking SIN!
"Come on now, I'm sure we can come to an understanding of sorts." The princess may have been a pushover, but Asmodeus was NOT one to be fucked over … in the non sexy way. "A way to atone?"
"..Alright then ... lick the floor and apologize ... ALL of you."
"... Why … am I … terrified?" The blonde boy asked.
"Sh..shut up..and maybe..we live.." The triclops muttered.
"Look, your majesty.. Maybe…we don't need to.. Lower ourselves-"
"WHAT DID I JUST SAY, YOU OVERHYPED APPLE WATCH!?"
"Licking the floor now!" Velve got on the floor.. As her tongue instantly caught on fire. "AHHHHHH!"
"Keep licking bitch, it's the only thing saving you FROM MY WRATH!" The sin grabbed Val with his hands, and plucked out his two antennae, before lighting him on fire.
They did as they were told, working through the pain. "... Too in pain … to laugh …" The pink boy groaned.
"Look.. we.. we understand that… certain… certain.. Parties feel… offended by our actions.." Velve tried to excuse, only for her pigtails to be severed off.
"Here's my understanding ... you will release the kids, you will break your OWN face, and you will stop manufacturing your love potions… or I will STOP being so nice!" He ripped Valintino's wings off.
"... I'll take the beating, I ain't stopping my best seller." Velvette sighed.
"VELVE!"
"What, you know it's true vox! It's how you get hard for Val on date night-ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!"
BLAAAAZZEEEEE
=======================================================================
Luz looked down at her hands. "... So your new friend can ragdoll the guys that ragdolled us, AND heal every injury like nothing?"
"Apparently he's something called a sin." Amity nodded. "The literal embodiment of the concept of Lust."
"Really?" Willow tilted her head at the now kajui sized demon breathing firedown on the building. "..Huh.. it is kind of hot."
"In the weirdest way." Boscha nodded. "Not like Lucci, but … meh." She waved it off. "Are you okay crystal?"
"Yeah.. yeah…" Lucci nodded with an uncharacteristic groan and unenthusiasm. "I'm..I'm not fine at all ... Bleeding everywhere…" He threw up blood.
"Shit, I thought he healed us all!?" Luz shouted.
"He was stabbed with Holy Weapons, even with … whatever your friend is, that doesn't go away easily." The short female imp explained.
"It's meant to damage the soul." The short guy added on. "Permanent death … oblivion."
"...Wait, but Lucci's part gem..and.. Gem's don't really have souls.." Willow muttered.
"But he's had his soul ejected before." Gus added. "Remember back with Moon girl and the fortune telling bunker incident?"
"Guys, guys.. I'm fine… I'll.. I'll be-" Lucci's body flickered again. "Not so fine … may need to double down on a doctor …I can't believe I just said that."
"Disturbing for all of us." Hunter grimaced. "Okay, so we get Clawthone treated for soul damage, try our best to find Spinel so he doesn't get uppity if we come up short, and leave for Earth as soon as possible."
"Wow, you care about his feelings?" Luz asked.
"With the beating we just got, special circumstances."
"You're … the blight of my life too, Golden boy.." Lucci grumbled, before turning to Amity. "Glad.. you're safe.."
"Yeah.. sorry, I got sent into another ring in hell."
"... Another ring?" Everyone blinked at the same time.
"Yeah, there's seven of them, each representing a sin, I ended up in Lust… there's a lot of horny succubi there, and they DON'T take no for an answer no matter how much you say so."
"...But.. you did say no, right?" Luz asked with a blush.
"Of course I said no!" She shouted with a full tomato face. "I'd never betray the most perfect girl in the universe!" Aww, she felt flattered.
"So how big would a ring be?" Boscha asked.
"Uhh … about the size of a titan?" Amity guessed. "I kind of got tied and gagged by the succubi, so I didn't get a full scope."
"...Lets just go back to that hotel." Lucci groaned. "Spinel can take care of herself for a while longer, and I'm in no mood to go anywhere right now." Man, the beating must have taken more out of him than they thought.