"So my crystal's on the fritz …" Asmodeus looked at the yellow gem. "Impossible." He stared down at Fizzie's former bestie turned enemy turned sorta friend/hero again. Beating up the V's was only half the reason why he was helping the little horny grape, but by God, was it fucking cathartic, and put him in a good enough mood to keep helping out for a little while longer.
"Well I tried to get Mox to tongue it again, but apparently he won't do it in front of kids." The tallish imp scoffed.
"Umm, Ozzie …" He turned to Lucifer's daughter. "Did you … know that these guys were … killing humans?"
"Just the living." Ozzie shrugged. "They end up down here or up there anyway. No real harm done." He shrugged.
"..But.. why did you approve it-"
"I owed a favor to Stolas. He helped me avoid signing a bad contract." The most bullshit one in all of hell…. Man was it good to rip apart that loan shark. "How are you two lovebirds doin by the way?"
"… It's … it's fuckin complicated." The tallish imp looked away.
"..Right.." Sounds like the spirit of lust was dying out in the house of Stolas. "Anyways, even if you're bad at lovin, it shouldn't stop people from entering."
"It launched me into a wall, can confirm." The brown boy raised a hand.
"Maybe you're dead after all." The pornstar, Angel Dust if he recalled, spoke up. "Sinners can't leave Hell no matter what they do… no matter how much we want to."
"But didn't you guys go on an on about how we have heart beats when we shouldn't?" The heavily scarred boy asked out loud.
"Quite the intriguing anomaly, just like this beaten down child!" The so called radio demon cackled as the pink boy laid down on the couch, looking quite beaten and tired. "Ah, reminds me of the good old days, where unruly children were beaten down by their fathers in order to instill some much needed discipline!"
"And we left them to die as adults." The girl Amity was into shot back. "If you're looking to kick the puppy while it's down, you're going to be here a while, this isn't even the closest we've been to despair before."
"When you're down here for real give me a call, I could use a secretary with spunk."
"So what, we're stuck here for all eternity because no one knows how to work a portal?" The triclops questioned.
"I mean.. As long as.. We stay away.. From those V people.. It wouldn't be.. Too bad.." The lion kid coughed.
"Lucci, usually when you're enthusiastic about something, you say 'damn the consequences, lets keep beating them up ... Even you know staying is a bad idea." The horny grape crossed her arms.
"Well then … find Spinel … and let's leave …" He argued back. "I'm all for fighting, and I'm all for leaving, but we.. we…need to decide on-" The boy's body began flickering. "GAHHH! WHY THE FUCK DOES THIS KIEEPING HAPPENING!"
"I call dibs on his kidneys!" The little psycho looking cyclops raised her hand. "I need a new pouch for my roach head collection."
Ozzie looked the kid over curiously … "I'd ditch the rock if I were you." He tapped the diamond. "Whatever his stone was made out of, it's rejecting the nature of hell." He stated. "Either it goes or the universe goes … and I think the former is more likely."
"But Lucci's gem is apart of him." The grape's girl pointed out.
"Huh… if that's the case, it's a miracle he even came to hell at all." Ozzie muttered. "Whatever it is, it doesn't belong in this plane of existence."
"..Wait, so you're saying that Clawthone gets a literal get outta hell pass, and we'll be STUCK here?!" The boy with heavy scars all over his body shouted.
"For lack of better words, yes." He stated. "Although if it makes you feel any better, you'll be together forever, and Pink boy will be forced to walk the mortal plane for all eternity as his loved ones fade away."
"...I'm what now?" The curly haired boy blinked.
"I mean, you're technically immortal, so maybe that has something to do with it." The thick girl with broken glasses tilted her head.
"… Such a nice day, ruined …" Curly groaned. "I was.. Going to make this…my retirement home…."
"..You don't even work-what would you even retire from?" The scared boy raised an eyebrow.
"Government eradication. Between the Boiling Isles, Gravesfield, and Gem Homeworld, it's O for 3."
"Can we get back to getting you all out of Hell?" The woman with an eyepatch asked. "It's VERY unsettling for the living to be here, no offense."
"None taken, it's creepy as fuck being here." The triple eyed girl grumbled
"If I were to half hazard a solution, it would be to recreate the circumstances that brought you here in the first place." Ozzie offered.
"Wait… but that means…" The pink boy blinked again, before groaning. "Uggh, that means we have to find Pearl and bring her back.. That's going to suck."
"On the bright side, you get to punch her again." The latino girl nodded.
"Thank you Luz. If anyone deserves the wonders of a good afterlife, it's you."
"...Yeah…that's not as nice as you're making it sound." The latino grumbled. "Then again, I frickin deserve it. Come on guys, let's try and find the bird nose and crazy toon while Lucci recovers." The bad self esteem was no joke.
"No.. Gotta get…. get up.. Spinel only listens to me." The boy grumbled as he stood up. "Alright gang … we have a country to search."
"Hold on, you can't just go out.. Again.." Charlie spoke up. "You barely survived the V's.."
"Well Princess, we don't really have a choice." The latino grumbled. "Lucci's on a time limit and he's our ticket out of here, and unless you plan on ever admitting that there are people who never deserve a second chance, you'd be dragging us down."
"Well I… I.." The princess's phone began beeping. "Ugh,what now?" She flipped her phone. "Hi dad, can you just.. No today, I'm really busy… Dad, that doesn't seem like a big-I know Mammon can be annoying, but you can't just-fine, fine, I'll deal with it…. Love.. you too…"
"...I could just feel the awkward energy coming from that phone." Triclops muttered. "And I don't even have a dad."
"What does he want this time?" The one eyed woman asked.
"Something to do with Mammon, apparently there's some pink women in greed that won't sign some deal with him unless she sees dad." Charlie rolled her eyes. "He literally just calls me for the pettiest things…"
"… Does the pink woman stretch?" Amity asked.
"Probably, I heard Mammon's been looking for a replacement for his Fizzolroli bots." Charlie muttered.
"Can confirm, the fat bitch is scraping for any little bit of money he can milk out of people." He nodded. "And unfortunately, already in the middle of arguing for Fizzie. He's the same rank as me, so I can't pull any clout. Sorry horny grape."
"....But you could, right?" The scared boy asked Charlie. "You outrank everyone?"
"Well.. yeah.."
"Then guess you're coming with us." The triclops noted. "Be prepared to set the fucker on fire if he doesn't listen." She waved as the children began walking to the front door.
"... Man, kids these days have balls." The tall imp nodded.
"No, they just don't have common sense." The cat demon from behind the bar nodded as he took a drink straight from the bottle.
"Charlie, are you really going to do this?" Vaggie asked.
"I don't think I have a choice, Vaggie, they're human. And they don't belong in hell, they deserve a full life to live before possibly coming back down here ... And if I can help with that ... I'm going to." The girl nodded with a determined grin.
"Just don't be afraid to put your foot down." Ozzie added. "Mammon doesn't listen to common sense."
"Got it, I'll make sure to practice a well worded speech before confronting him!" The princess cheered before running out the door."
"... You've been around longer." Angel Dust spoke up. "Did she catch stupid from her pops or her mommy?"
"All her pops. Short King Lucci used to be the big dreamer circus ringleader, but that spark died off after a while." The king of lust shrugged. "It'll probably hit Charlotte after another five hundred years."
"And then we'll watch her violent snap as she slaughters hundreds." The radio demon laughed. "I'll go set the timer!"
=======================================================================
Charlie sat silently with the others on the train in a somewhat awkward silence. "So … how would you describe Spinel?" It may be a rough journey ahead, but she couldn't let these kids just run off alone … not after the Vs … Plus, it was her first time around humans.. Real.. BREATHING humans.. .. well, one human and a couple of witches, but still.. Life.. living.. LIFE!
"Psychotic co-dependent depressant." The one with three eyes, Boscha, answered.
"Scared by my womb donor into always needing friends." Lucci (at least there was a nickname to tell apart from her dad) raised a finger as he leaned against Boscha.
"A looney tune with no sense of morality or mortality due to how she was raised." Luz spoke up.
"Insane in the membrane." Gus added. "We're really going along with Lucci mainly because he feels sorry for her."
"It's not just that, she's legitimately a fun presence, one of the few things that make living on earth tolerable for me." Lucci argued.
"She tried to kill Luz multiple times and locked you away inside of a fantasy room." Amity deadpanned.
"Okay, all of us have tried killing Luz at one point." He shot back.
"I haven't." Gus raised a hand.
"Not yet." Lucci muttered. "It'll happen one day."
"Sure enough." Luz nodded darkly … yikes.
"So, I have to ask … what's with the hotel?" Hunter questioned.
"Oh, it's my personal project!" Charlie smiled brightly. "I plan on rehabilitating sinners and sending them to heaven!"
"...Really?" Willow asked. "That's actually possible?"
"... Well … theoretically, yes, it is." She nodded with a thumbs up.
"... Have you asked heaven if they allowed it?" Amity questioned.
"They … laughed me out and said they like slaughtering demons more than they care about redeeming them." Charlie chuckled nervously. "But with a little perseverance and elbow grease, I'm sure I can change their minds!"
"....I don't even think Vee is that optimistic." Lucci muttered.
"I don't even think I was this delusional." Luz added. "Was I ever this bad?"
"..Kind of, but you were endearing." Amity rubbed her hand on Luz's shoulder.
"Come on, don't be like that ... I know it sounds far fetched-"
"It sounds repulsive." Boscha scoffed. "Do you plan on just allowing anyone to try?"
"Yes, I want to give everyone a chance."
"Even people like the Vs?" The girl glared.
"..." Okay, this was either going to be the moment she stuck her foot in her mouth, or proved her principals. "Anyone that seeks to redeem themselves ... anyone willing to try… will be welcomed to… if that EVER means the V's… then yes." She took in a deep breath. "Because no matter what, nothing is ever as black and white as it seems."
"... If it wasn't for the fact you're the one with the directions, you know we'd leave you behind for that, right?" Willow asked.
"I don't care, because I'd still find a way to help." She crossed her arms. "Hell may be the worst place in the universe.."
"Debatable-GAAH!" Lucci glitched.
"But I refuse to think that it's the end." Charlie reiterated as she tapped her foot and horns began blaring in the air.
"Wait, is music beginning to play-Clawthorne?" Hunter asked.
"Not-not me this time." Lucci fell down, as Charlie picked him up with a smile.
"Oh, welcome, dear souls, to my fiery domain!" She lightly spun him around as the group began to float on a rock over magma. "Where the lava flows wild and the sinners remain!"
"Oh shit, she has collector power, we're doomed!" Willow shouted as she scooted closer to Hunter, trying to avoid the lava.
"But wait! Don't despair, there's a light in the air!" She gave them a golden road to walk down. "A dreamer, a schemer with big plans to share!" Filled with puppies and unicorns and rainbows and fluffy clouds!
"My terrors are coming back! My terrors are coming back!" Gus exclaimed.
"I see past the flames, past the brimstone and gloom." She waved the darkness away, showing a sparkling gem. "There's a spark in the dark, there is hope in this room!" Charlie walked over to a chained Lucci. "They say "Once you're damned, there's no chance to break free!" Well, watch me, just watch me, and you will soon see!" And broke the chains with a flick.
"Huh.. this is pretty.." Lucci grabbed a ball of light.
"Don't fall for the song Crystal, it's a trap!" Boscha shook the boy.
"The flames don't mean forever, no, the story isn't done!" Flames rose into the air, flipping the world like pages. "Just 'cause you've fallen doesn't mean that you're gone!" There was always hope. "Call me crazy, call me mad, but I swear there's something more!" She walked to the golden gate. "And I won't stop believing 'til we open that door!"
"Literally every door we've come across has been shut.. I'm not even exaggerating." Hunter grumbled.
"Then you just need a change in perspective." She smiled as the doors opened up on the train car. "Come on, let me show you some joys to be had!"
"I mean.. Asmodeous was pretty nice, so it's not like she doesn't have a point." Amity noted.
"I'm not in the mood to be shown joy!" Boscha shouted.
"Oh, demons and devils, so grumpy and rude!" They walked past a couple of nasty looking imps and loan sharks. "You snarl and you scowl with your attitude!!"
"Yeah, whatsit toya!?" The loan shark shouted.
"But deep down inside, there's a heart, don't you see?" She asked the kids, showing off a giant heart behind them as she hugged them. "A chance to be better! Just listen to me!"
"Fuck off weabo!" They shoved themselves out of the hug and walked away.
"Maybe a prince can turn into a frog," She gestured to a large and round lizard man.
"Are any of you girls hookers?" They asked.
"Maybe a beast can be loved through the fog!" She gestured to a hellhound woman.
"I want to eat your flesh!" They screamed.
"So why not a sinner, a lost, wicked soul?" Charlie asked. "With a song and a dream, let's rewrite the scroll!"
".. Is she just.. Ignoring everything.."" Gus asked.
"The flames don't mean forever, no, the story isn't done!" She grabbed a couple of pages and added them to a book. "Just 'cause you've fallen doesn't mean that you're gone!" She reassured the children. "Call me crazy, call me mad, but I swear there's something more! And I won't stop believing 'til we open that door!" She kicked open another golden door.
"Pfft, the princess is in one of her delusional songs again." An infester snarled.
"Fifty says that it gets someone killed."
She heard the mockery all her life…she heard it all..and she didn't care. "So laugh if you want, roll your eyes, say I'm wrong..But I'll keep on singing this hopeful old song!" She swung Luz up in the air. "And maybe, just maybe, someday you will see… That Hell's not the end—it's a place to break free!"
"... Like I said, musical numbers." Lucci smiled as he clapped.
"..Really.. That's ALL it takes to convince you?" Hunter questioned.
"If she took the time to sing about it, then she has the energy to try to see it to the end." Lucci countered. "That's how you know dedication when you see it."
"Awww, thank you." She hugged his head. "If only my dad was that supportive."
"Have you thought about punching him?" He asked.
"I am an advocate of non violence and alternative solutions."
"... And like that, you've lost me." Lucci groaned.
"There's the Lucci I remember." Luz snickered as the train finally stopped. "So..we're here?" She looked outside to the green air and sky's of green. "Looks dirtier than where we were."
"Each ring has a distinct structure and purpose to it. For Greed, it's an industrial wasteland." Charlie explained. "Most products in hell are made in factories that are found here. Mammon's main concern is to make money and to make it as fast as possible."
"So … if we're broke we're out?" Gus asked.
"..That's the nice way of putting it." Charlie winced. In actuality, she hadn't put much thought in the other rings ,.. mainly because the sinners were confided in Pride. "Just stick close to me, hellborn can't take souls, but they will try to put hooks in you."
"Literally or figuratively?" Luz asked.
"Yes." She nodded as she guided them out of the train.
"Hey girl." An incubus covered in hook piercings smirked. "How about I hook you up with a guy I know and we match this fabulous jewelry?"
"That was fast." Boscha muttered as she shot a fireball forward.
"Gah, fuck! Just say no bitch!"
"You're a demon, you literally don't know how to say no."
"..Well ... just because it's true doesn't mean you need to be a jerk!" He shouted as he rolled away.
"So we look for Spinel, hope she knows where Pearl is, and get out as soon as possible before Clawthorne disintegrates, then hopefully live our normal lives." Hunter noted, looking around.
"Normal?" Amity asked.
"If I have any hopes, let it be that alright?" The scared boy grumbled as they walked the streets. "Yeesh, the black market in Bonesburrow didn't look this slimy. It's like they all got washed over by the bottom of the boiling sea."
"Well a lot of the lakes and water here lead straight from Envy, and Mammon has a soft sport for Leviathan." Charlie nodded. "So, we know what Spinel looks like, what about this Pearl?"
Everyone looked at each other, before turning to her. "Skinny pale bird nosed ballerina bitch."
"Oh, I think I saw a gal like that." An imp nodded, passing right by them. "But my memory's a bit foggy …" He held out his hand.
Lucci rolled his eyes. "Ugh, don't worry, I'll beat it out of him-"
"Hey, hey, hey, let's NOT resort to violence.." Charlie chuckled nervously. "We can handle this peacefully.
"Oh, and I assume you're made of money?" Boscha asked.
"No, but it never hurts to leave without a little spare change." She placed a million dollar bill in the imp's hands. "Will that be enough?"
"...Wow…. she's more of a pushover than Gus." Lucci muttered.
"I ain't arguing … like wow."
"Fuck me on Satan's ass, yes!" The demon grinned. "She's around the corner, being dragged around by some giant fucker who plans on selling off her head stone."
"Thank you, thank you, your good deed will reward you more than that money ever-"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm gathering the boys tonight! Hookers and blow all the way!" The imp shouted as he ran off.
"..So do we count that as our win or hers?" Boscha asked.
"Depends on if Pearl's actually around the corner." Luz argued. "If she isn't, imp win."
"You'll never know what opportunities await until you open them yourself." Charlie grinned. "Come on, lets see your friend.."
"Friend is stretching it, she's more of a 'bitch that framed our friend for ruining our lives." Lucci grumbled.
"Technically she just framed my pets." Luz added.
"Right." Amity agreed. "All she did to Luz directly is train her brain to think she has no self worth unless it's sacrificed for someone else, and attempt to stab her during the hourglass incident. Still worthy of death by the way."
"...Lets just find your.. Acquaintance." Charlie bit her lip as they turned the corner. "So where should she-"
"I DEMAND YOU PUT ME DOWN THIS INSTANT YOU SLIMY BELLYFEEDING RUFFIANS!" A shrill, high pitch voice shouted.
"That would be here." Lucci groaned, flinching as he glitched. "Guys, I'm not up to fight. Someone else beat them up."
"I got some stress." Willow cracked her neck as she marched forward, grass growing with every step she took. "There's a lot of moss growing here.. Scum.. fungus, algae… it's not as potent as earths or the boiling isles… but it's better than pride…."
"You could always try recreating the Dead Man's Lake monster, Captain." Hunter suggested.
"Oooh, that would be cathartic." She chuckled as vines, grass, and moss gathered together in one massive clump.. A muscular hand formed out of it, as it reached out and grabbed the giant Loan shark that held the pale lady at hand.
"Oh fuck, I thought the overlords were back in pride!?"
"It's all me, hellspawn!" Willow smirked as she slammed the sharks around … kind of like Alastor would. "Either swim away or swim towards your doom!"
"AAAAHHHHH!!" They ran away screaming in terror, dropping the pale lady.
"What the …" She turned to them, eyes widened. "Steve-"
"The only reason you're not dead is because we need you." Lucci growled. "Do NOT call me Steven, bitch." He glitched. "Gaah… and I don't have the power to punch you right now… someone slap the bitch for me."
"On it." Luz took the blunt end of her sword, and whacked it against the woman's face.
"OW!"
"Now come on Charlie, we have everyone but Spinel." The girl turned to her. "The quicker you guide us, the faster this ends.
"...Right." Charlie nodded. Why was it so hard to help these children see just a bit of light? They were kids. It was their job to have fun and learn, not be forced to deal with everyone's messes.
=======================================================================
Pearl wouldn't say she was feeling particularly ... Good about everything in the last few hours ... days … she spent so long in what was apparently the christianity version of hell that she didn't even know how long she's been down here. And that wasn't counting the fact that every two minutes the children were taking turns slapping her face due to Stev-Lucci not having the strength to do it himself.
"Shouldn't you-" Another hit. "Conserve your-" Another hit. "Strength for-" Another hit. "Confrontation?"
"After the Vs nearly killed us all, we came to the conclusion that we have to talk it out." Hunter responded.
"See?" The pale women with the doll like face grinned. "Diplomacy-"
"It's nothing to do with diplomacy, we just know we're utterly screwed against people of higher power down here." Lucci argued. "..Although I will give you credit if we can do it through song."
"I'll take it!" The woman smiled brightly. "Welp, here we are. Mammon's castle!"
"... Why does it look like a sunken ship?" Luz asked.
"Pardon-" Another hit. "Me if I'm not mistaken, but Mammon is the lord of the sharks in your mythology, is it not?" She asked the doll-like lady, who apparently was the princess of hell… was she REALLY that bad of a person to warrant something like that… the controversial deeds she had wrought about were so numerous that she almost lost track.
"Yes, although the sunken ship look is mostly because of the film version of Titanic.. He sank the real one back then and brought half of the ship to Hell when it became popular." The woman explained.
"... So the iceberg was a lie." Luz muttered. "Noted."
"Trust me, you don't want to know what happened on the Hindenburg." The woman shuddered.
"Enough cryptic talk!" Boscha exclaimed. "I've had enough of hell, let's get it over with!"
"Alright, just.. Stay behind me everyone." The doll woman took in a deep breath, before opening the door. "Mammon, I-"
"High there!" Spinel jumped in front of her, juggling three chainsaws and two bazookas. "My name's Spinel! I'm starting a new game where people throw things at me and I juggle them until something stabs me! Wanna add to the mix!?"
"Spinel.." Lucci blinked. "You're looking-"
"LUUUCCCCCIIIIIII!" Spinel instantly dropped her items and wrapped her arms around the boy.
BOOM
The bazooka shot out ammo that nearly took off Amity's head, exploding in the distance. "There's our crazy lady we know and tolerate." She grumbled.
"Lucci, lucci, Lucci! You came, you came just like Mammy said!" Spinel jumped up and down.
"Who?" The boy blinked.
CACHING
With the sound of a cash register and a green cloud, a green, overweight clown emerged. "Spinel, what's the [Honk]in' hold up?"
"Lucci's here, just like you said!" She shouted.
"... Well I can see Lucifer's daughter, but I don't see the short man himself." He looked around.
"Whataya talking about, he's right here!" She shook the boy in her arms up and down.
"...Hm, can I work with someone that's color blind… " The fat man tapped his finger. "..Eh, whatever works works I guess."
"Uh.. hey Mammon.." The dolled up woman walked up.
"Char-char, how you've been!? It's been bloody ages!" The man shrunk down as he rapidly shook the woman's hand. "You look more and more like your pops everyday.. So you might want to get plastic surgery now! AHAHAAHAHAAH!" The enlarged man cackled.
"Ahahaha … anyway … I found these kids who are alive, and I'm returning them back to their homes …" She went on. "And Spinel …"
"Is my new clown!" He exclaimed.
"...Huh?" Lucci blinked.
"My new clown, yah hear!" The man turned into a case, before popping out in front of them. "I was kind of runnin dry on changing my brand since Fizzi up and abandoned me, and Glitz and Glam, they're good, but they haven't really HAHAHAAHAHA funnied me like Fizz used to, probably just the natural weakness of being a woman."
"That so?" Boscha twitched, but did nothing.
"Yeah! Then suddenly this gal shows up actin like a rubber hose animation come to life with quick wit and games galore and suddenly, BAM! New cash grab and face of my brand!" He laughed. "And the best thing is she doesn't even need money!!! Oh I'm gonna make billions, possibly trillions off her!"
"And I get to make people smile, just like I did on homeworld!" Spinel grinned. "Isn't that great Lucci! We have a new home!"
"... Oh no." Willow groaned. "This is going to be painful.
"While I would agreeeee!!" Ste-Lucci glitched again. "Some reason … can't stay here …"
"Wait, why just you?" Luz blinked in confusion. "Shouldn't Pearl and Spinel be spazzing?"
"Spazzing?" Spinel blinked. "Watcha talking about, I don't spazzed at all."
"But that doesn't make sense." Boscha muttered. "He's half gem, and gems don't have souls…"
"...Lucci's part human ... that part has a soul." Amity blinked. "The gem doesn't belong here… but Lucci's gotten stabbed over and over again.. He SHOULD be dead by normal standards… the human half WANTS to die while it's down here, but the gem half isn't letting him!"
"What does that mean?" Spinel asked.
"It means Lucci can't stay down here or he vanishes for good." Hunter simplified.
"WHAT!?" Spinel shouted, making her drop the boy. "You mean I'd lose my best friend if I stay here!?"
"Pretty much." Amity nodded.
"Then we're leaving!"
"Ah ah, no way." Mammon wagged his finger. "She's my money maker!"
"Look, with the chance that I'm never going to hell again AND staying on earth for the long hall, I ain't leaving without the one person that helps make it slightly more tolerable."
"Mmm … better idea. You two stay here forever and keep making me money." Mammon smirked.
"... Charlie, diplomacy from royalty?" Luz questioned.
"Right, right." Charlie stepped up. "Look Mammon, these kid's don't belong here, they need Spinel to go back home."
"... Annnd …"
"... It's wrong."
"Char-char, the only reason we haven't taken humanity as slaves for everything they have is cause Heaven put a big fat NO on it that your pops said sure to." The green man replied. "Why should I care about a couple of brats?"
"Because they'll DIE if they stay here!"
"Oooh, that's the problem.. I see, I see.." Mammon nodded.
"..You do?" Lucci asked.
"Yep!"
Ripp
And Lucci fell to the ground… with a big bloody HOLE in his stomach as the giant.. Spider jester.. Held Rose's gem in his hands.
"LUCCI!"
"You said this fancy rock here is the problem, problem solved!" Mammon chuckled. "..Gotta say, it's a pretty rock too. That almost makes up for you trying to turn traitor on me, Spinny!"
"GIVE IT BACK!" Pearl jabbed a spear into his face-
Snap
That broke like a twig. "Bad move bitch."
POOF
=======================================================================
Willow watched as the crazy clown tossed Lucci and Pearl's gems up and down in his hands. "Fancy little shinies. Where did the bloody c[Honk]t's body go though …"
"Crystal, speak to me!" Boscha shouted down to the bleeding boy.
"Heh… I'm seeing… Angels.. In hell…." He grinned. "What a sight… night night-"
"No, no, no! Don't fall asleep Lucci!" Luz shouted, slapping his face. "Ahh! Still has tough skin! Willow, slap his face so he stays awake
She did so … and … "It feels softer than normal." She spoke in horror. "..He's losing his powers!"
"Mammon!" Charlie shouted.
"What? You said the gem was the problem, I removed it."
"That's not what I meant!"
"Well Spinel ain't leaving hell, and if she's SO uppity about the kids, I ain't letting them leave hell either. And if it means a little murder … meh." The bastard shrugged. "The [Honk]stain's ll' end up down here anyway."
"While that's probably true, I'm not going to do it anytime soon!" Hunter shouted as he got on his palismen. "Okay.. flying's shaking, but I can still do-" And he flashed into the air… appearing next to Mammon with a knife-
KECHANG
"Oooh, that's soo cool, teleporter, rare… too bad you missed the landing." Mammon smirked, leaning in closer. "It's gotta be more like this." He flicked Hunter's head-
CRACKLE
And Hunter was hit with a boiling storm bolt the likes of which Willow had never seen, his eyes whitening. "BASTARD!" She sent forth a massive moss hand to rip him apart-as it and her body was covered in webs.
"So many interesting little freaks!" The man laughed. "I'm gonna have fun making you work for me!"
"Charlie, diplomacy failing!" Luz shouted, raising her blade defensively. "It's fucking failing hard!"
"I know, I know! Mammon, stop this instantly, or I'm going to call my dad!"
"....That is the weakest threat I've ever heard Char-char." The bastard glared. "We both know he's too depressed to come here himself. If he needed something, he'd do what he's been doing the last five years and send you … heck, I'm guessing that's why you're even here in the first place."
"..Damn it dad, damn you and your depression!" Charlie shouted.
"Now then Spinel, you ready for your next gig?" The clown asked the pink gem. "After all, you'll be with your friends for eternity!"
"... You hurt my best friend… " Spinel growled as she took out her laser scythe. "...Now I'm going to rip your eyes out!"
"Oooh, good idea, a horror-clown show, what a no brainer! Bloody good Spinney, bloody good!" Mammon cackled ... as Spinel stretched her body out and landed a punch on the man's face. "Huh ... you actually landed one. Quick reflexes." And of course it did nothing.
"Fucking hell, does anything phase you!?" Amity shouted.
"Nope!" The man laughed … as Lucci's gem began glowing. "Oooh, glow in the dark, me like-"
SMACK
Mammon was actually sent backwards, cracks in the wall, as the pink diamond began expanding into … "Pink Lucci." Luz muttered. "Heck yeah, ultimate defense mechanism for the win!"
"Separation detected." The image spoke with its usual monotone. "Returning to host." They began walking to Lucci-
Rumble
The sound of thunder boomed out … as a spider leg … as big as the town of Graves Field landed down from behind. "Let me make something clear, mut!" Spoke … the spider's web, the storm of ill temperament, the endless thief that would take and plunder the world clean. "When I say you're my property, you don't get to leave!"
And a tornado swept Pink Lucci into the air. "Return to host." Who responded.. By making a hexagon shield in the air.. And another stacked on top of it… and another and another, and a FUCKton more as they all floated above Mammon.
"Oooh, I'm SO scared of hexagons-"
POW
POW
POW
POW
That sent the bastard through the ground, creating a web like crater. "Okay, tell me that did something!" Boscha shouted. "Charlie!?"
"Uhhh …"
And Mammon leapt out of the hole. "Correction, I'm annoyed by hexagons!" He launched a web onto Pink Lucci, drawing him into a punch.
KABOOM
And sent him flying into the distance, quickly following as lightning followed his tracks.
POW
SMACK
CRACK
PEW
RAAA
They couldn't even catch wind of what was going on, it was just blurs of green and pink across the entire sky, as if someone was fighting the clouds themselves. "..Admittedly.. I've never seen that before in hell.." Charlie blinked. "But.. it's not going to do much, it's a stalemate by this point… and Mammon has pretty much the entirety of this section of the universe at his beck and call."
"Pink Lucci is all pure rage, he's not a thinker. He's just going to keep going forward.." Amity muttered.
"Sure he's got the most raw power of any version …" Boscha continued. "But that doesn't mean anything against an opponent that can match AND think."
"Guys…. Everything's..blurry.." Lucci muttered as more blood left his body.
"...The fighting's the problem, the longer Pink Lucci's busy with it, the less time we have to save the real deal." Luz gripped her hands.
"Just heal him!" Spinel shouted. "You're magic!"
"None of us have experience with healing magic!" Boscha argued. "Luz was the only one to take the class, but it's useless considering that this is freaking hell and not the Boiling Isles, she can't use magic here!"
"Just slap those papers on him!"
"What good would that do!?" Luz shouted, tears in her eyes, taking the few she had on her out. "If I'm not in the Boiling Isles, I don't have access to the titan, and all these things are just that, paper! Useless fucking paper!" She slammed them on the ground-
FWOSH
And her hand was on fire. "... My hand's on fire …" Luz smiled. "My hand's on fire, I have magic!" She shouted with glee … "MY HAND'S ON FIRE!!"
"That's not a good thing-!" Charlie shouted.
"Can it Charlie, I need to think!" Luz shouted. "You have paper on you princess!? TELL ME YOU HAVE PAPER!"
"Uh.. yeah, I do.." She summoned a stack. "But what-"
"Guys, buy me two minutes, the artist needs to work her magic!"
"Lucci!" Spinel shouted.
"Aaaahh … three plant glyphs and two light glyphs usually work for healing stab wounds, try experimenting and slapping them on him!" Luz shouted, giving them a few pages as she ran off.
"...Did that make sense to anyone else?" Charlie asked.
"With context …" Willow smiled. "Yeah."
=======================================================================
Focus Luz, focus! Glyphs work, you had paper, Lucci was being worked on by the others. And Pink Lucci was …
ZAP
POW
SMACK
… Possibly losing. "Come on, come on, you've spent all your time at school practicing for the day you get your magic back, don't let that go to fucking waste!" Every combo she never got to test out, every spell she thought of before she fled the isles.. today they were going to get there, probably only, test run.
She needed something big. This guy was too strong physically. She needed power like she never had before, so the glyph in turn had to be big. "Okay, we're in hell.. so what's the most prominent element here?" Ice.. surprisingly strong, but not too good. Grass.. no, way too small. Light.. pretty bright.. and fire.. Super strong.. VERY.. Very.. strong. "Alright.. time to make Hellfire!'
Fire, fire, draw a large circle of flames. Add in Lucci's amplification glyph and a few grass ones to channel it. Make Fire the center of it all, big and prominent. A little bit of light to increase the intensity.
POW
BAM
KABOOOOOM
And Pink Lucci was thrown upwards again into a wall. "Alright…I have had ENOUGH!!!" The fat bastard shouted, filling the air with fumes, gases, and electricity and thunder. "I am going to hang you on my wall, as a whole, or in PIECES!"
"Re-tetuuurn to-to-to host." Pink Lucci had visible cracks in his gem … oooh, not good. "Remmoooove th-th-threat-" And he was zapped with lightning.
"Don't worry Lucci, I got you covered." Luz sweated as the clouds began to get closer.
"Get… get away…" Lucci called out to her as he kept bleeding.
"Take these to five corners." She held papers to the gang. "I'll stall, press down on them when I give the signal."
"You sure this is going to work?" Hunter asked.
"Don't know, never made a glyph this big, and in this environment, there's a fifty-fifty chance it'll backfire." She admitted.
"Best odds we've had in a while." Amity kissed her cheek. "We'll be ready when you are."
Luz nodded, turning to the big man himself. "Hey Mammon!" She shouted out to the giant spider. "You're talking about all this talent, but you missed a big star like me!"
"...HAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA, hAHAHAHA, OH, OH MAN, THAT.. that was funny, thanks for reminding me that woman on occasion have the ability to be funny.. I mean, it's not all the time, but they're funny enough for me to want to exploit them for all they're worth."
"Then clearly you haven't heard." She raised her hand. "I am Luz Noceda, the human witch who has learned from many sources! I have crawled through the dirt day after day, entrusted by the mystic blade from the planewalking lion, I have read the language of the Titan himself, and I have learned the vast wonders of space!" She exclaimed. "I have more surprises than you could ever imagine …" She prepared the paper. "Now eat this, Sucka!" And slammed it down.
It linked with the others as they slammed down their own papers, creating a massive pentagram of pink flames. "Ooooh [HONK] me." And flames rose and enveloped the demon, launching to the skies and burning away even the cloudy and polluted sky, setting it ablaze.
FWWWOOOOOOOSSSSSSH
An entire lightshow was created, completely covering the bastard in flames, swirling in multiple colors of red, orange, green, blue, and many other colors that she's never seen fire before upclose. "Wow.." Boscha muttered. "Even I have to admit, that's kind of impressive."
"Yeah it is." She smirked. Oh magic.. Man did she miss this. "Anyone manage to heal Lucci yet?"
"Re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-" Pink Lucci kept glitching repeatedly.
"Come on Lucci." Spinel held the boy close. "Stay with me, we can get through this."
"Bring him to his gem, that's literally our only option." Luz pointed out
"Right, right, then we can-"
"You know …" … They all froze with terror, slowly turning to the body of the Spider … burned with a little bit of bone showing on his arms and face. … but otherwise fine."I will admit girly … you almost hit me as hard as a titan right there." And he healed right back up.
"I … you …" No … no that couldn't, that couldn't-
"So let me return the favor." He turned to the sky, hacking up a large ball of webs … that formed into glyphs. Glyphs she's never seen before, glyphs in three dimensions, glyphs that dwarfed the size of buildings. "I am Mammon, the Sin of Greed. To acknowledge me is to know deep down that all living creatures are eternally corrupt. To meet my gaze is to become an item to be bought and sold. All things of value are mine from the moment they are given it. When the heavens fall I shall rise to the skies and claim the stars as ornaments …" The glyphs lit up … covering the sky in LIGHTNING BEYOND LIGHTNING. "Now eat this, CUNTS!"
BZZZZZZZTTTTTTTTTT
=======================================================================
Boscha was seeing nothing but green…. Not that she was being greedy, but as in the air was nothing BUT green, she figured that had something to do with the bastard shooting a wave of lighting down on them… but the faint pink glow made her think otherwise. "Huh.. we're.. We're not.. Dead?" Gus asked.
"Pr-pr-pr-protect… host…" Pink lucci spoke up with his hands in the air… creating a massive shield to protect them from the incoming onslaught.
"Sweet, we still have that trump card." Willow sighed.
"Error." The Pink boy said. "LiIiightning naturally dissipates … the-the attack is charging annnnnd attacking."
"Wonders of REAL magic!" Mammon's voice cackled from the storm. "The more you block and dodge, the larger it gets! Only dissipates when the [HONK]s hit dead on! HAHAHAHAHA!" The static grew louder with his laughter. "SO KEEP [HONK]IN BLOCKING, I'LL ROAST THE LOT OF YAH SOON ENOUGH."
"Gah.. he's.. More annoying.. Than Kikimora… and Hunter… combined" Lucci coughed. "Congrates.. Golden boy… you're…down to.. Number three…"
"I'll take it when we survive!" Hunter exclaimed. "How do we do that now, Luz!?"
"The fire glyph was my best shot!" She shouted."The only option is to prepare another one.. But.. with the lighting coming down, I don't know if I can activate one in time.. Plus the space we have now is too small, whatever I make won't be as big as the last one!"
"Would it even matter!?" Boscha shouted. "The last one barely scratched him when he was fucking around and overconfident! What's a second going to do?!"
CRACK
The shield began cracking, Pink Lucci glitching more. "Danger exceeeeds energy outputttttt."
"Lucci, you gotta merge with you gem!" Boscha shouted.
"But… but.. Shield.. Needs up-"
"You're probably going to die before then, and we're pretty much dead already!" Boscha shouted. "I don't want you to die like this!"
"Amity …" Luz hugged the purple haired girl. "I'm sorry … I'm always going to love you, even when you're up there."
"Luz, I'm going to be wherever you are ... no matter what." Amity held her tightly. "I'll break every law and rule of the universe to stay by your side."
"You'll stay together alright!" Mammon punched the back of the shield, causing it to crack even further. "You'll all be part of my little circus, making me money and fame for the rest of your eternity, until Hell gets bored of laughing at you! There is no power, no authority, and NO ONE that can get in the way of what I want!!!"
"...No one… but me." Charlie stood up, her eyes getting red as horns grew out of her head.
"Come on Char Char, everyone knows you'd never hurt a-" The woman walked through the shield, shattering it, before flicking away the lightning into the sky. "... Fly-" And she grabbed one of the spider's legs, slamming him into the ground.
"I am through standing by … LET … THEM … GO." The princess of hell growled, her foot pushing Mammon's skull deeper into the earth.
"Yes Charlie." He whimpered in his normal voice. "I'll walk away-"
"Leave the gem of the bird nose woman behind as well."
"Come on, I need something-" Her other foot sank right into his chest.
"I can give you a golden apple for all your troubles.. But you will NEVER attempt anything like this again, or I will string you up by your own spider-webs and make you watch all of yourmoney ... be given to the poor!"
"NOOOOO! NOT THAT! ANYTHING BUT THAT!" The bastard ... actually began crying. "FINE! TAKE IT!" He threw Pearl's gem at them.
"Good." The woman sighed as she walked back to them, her horns vanishing. "Come on kids."
"...What.. What-the-could you do that the entire time?" Willow asked
"Yesh… but I hate doing that." Charlie groaned. "People should be nice on their own merits … throwing power around just sends the wrong message."
"The message that no one's ever going to be nice unless they're in love or beat up by someone stronger?" Boscha asked. "That's just life. I mean, I'm tolerating over half the people here because of my crystal."
"Stilll….dying.." Lucci coughed.
"Re-retuuuurn." The Pink Lucci glitched more, looking down at its own cracked gem. "Damage to cooooreee. System error-error-error."
"How are we going to fix that?" Willow asked.
"Lucci's gem was cracked before by Bismuth, but it naturally healed … maybe just reuniting them.." Luz held Lucci's hand, and guided it to the pink being-
Fwoooosh
Who INSTANTLY phased right into Lucci's body like it was fusion. "Hey … I'm back … I'm not dying-GAAAAA!!!" And his body glitched. "Oh it was somehow less painful when I had a fucking hole in my stomach!"
"Right, he's still dying from being in hell." Luz turned to Charlie. "You wouldn't happen to have a teleporting trick on you, would you?"
"If I did, I wouldn't have taken the train here."
"...I honestly thought you did that because you wanted to take the scenic route." Gus nodded
"I mean Ozzie teleported." Amity nodded. "Seems weird the woman higher up the food pole can't."
"I believe magic should be used to help others and create wonderful facets of life, not be selfishly used for improving one's own lifestyle." The woman smiled as a rainbow and a scribbled smiling sun appeared behind her head.
"..Vee and her in the same room would give people diabetes." Willow muttered.
"Oh no doubt." Hunter nodded.
"Still in pain here!" Lucci shouted.
"Until Pearl reforms there's nothing else we can do, Lucci." Luz pointed out.
"Don't worry, I'll grab you snacks, sodas, and ice!" Spinel ran off.
"...Luz, think you can work your magic to make her come out." Lucci handed the gem over to Luz.
"I mean I can try, but random glyphs all over the ground is part of the reason we went to hell in the first place, remember?"
"Luz, I'm literally dying, I literally have nothing but time for you to experiment." Lucci groaned.
"Let's see what we got then."
=======================================================================
Vaggie stared blankly. "… What am I looking at?" Seeing her girlfriend come back from greed was great to see.. Seeing the kids still here was much less so.
"A spell that turns light particles into rainbow monkeys." Luz explained bluntly. "Test fest has never been so weird."
"Mostly because for once, Lucci's not in the middle of it." Willow nodded as she slammed down a piece of paper … causing spikes to jut from the ground, breaking when they hit Vaggie. "Sorry."
"It's fine, just.. Don't point that towards the guests." Best not to make a big deal out of it.
"You can make it hit me!" Nifty waved her hands. "It's been too long since something sharp and pointy pierced me good!"
"I'm sorry we couldn't help ya tot." The female imp hugged Hunter tightly. "We were still recoverin from The Vs fuckin us up."
"Don't worry about it, none of us were exactly capable of going after them." The scarred boy groaned. "We couldn't even do anything against Mammon."
"Yeah, could've told you that." The tall-ish imp leaned back on the couch with a grin that pretty much told the room he got laid… if the stench wasn't enough to tell that. "So kid, you finally scrounge up enough money for that hit on your pops you wanted?" Remember Vaggie, you didn't kill demons anymore, you couldn't stab this fucker.
"I grabbed this statue of a golden dollar sign." The kid pulled something out of his curly mess of hair. "Will this work?"
"Oh fuck yeah! Something owned by Mammon is worth a shit ton!" The imp grabbed it greedily. "Soon as we cash this in, we'll kill that sperm donor as soon as possible.. Ah.. it reminds me of the days I wish I could kill my dad." Blitz grinned. "Too bad it never happened."
"Hey.. dreams come true if you work hard enough." Lucci patted the imp on the back.
"… I am going to be banging my head on the wall for weeks." Charlie muttered.
"Maybe this is a sign for you to start issuing more..tough love.. " Vaggie asked.
"No, not at all… not after what happened..with Angel.." Her girlfriend muttered.
"Wait, so you're tell me that moth bitch can't even see?" Boscha spoke with Angel Dust.
"Course he can see. He's just shortsighted and colorblind." The spider chuckled as he handed the girl a drink. "It's a moth to a flame thing, he keeps staring at anything bright and shiny, and it fucks up his shit ass eyes."
"Why would you sell your soul to someone that stupid?" She asked.
"Says the girl who walked with a stranger and got roofied." Angel Dust shot back.
"..Touche." She took a sip of the glass. "..Whoa.. that.. That stuff hits strong.. With a hint of honey?"
"Beezeljuice." Husk nodded. "Most alcoholic drink in all of hell." And he promptly drank down a whole bottle himself.
"Okay!" Charlie took the beverage. "I've let a lot of shit slide today, but NOT underage drinking!"
"I've drank Apple Blood enough to make me weepy, I think I can handle it." Boscha glared.
"The fuck is Apple Blood?" Angel asked.
"Somethin exotic." Husk shrugged. "It's mostly acid mixed with fruit that bleeds. Mild kick."
"..Bleeding fruit?" Vaggie asked.
"I think Dad mentioned that once." Charlie tapped her chin. "He wanted to create living fruit for the Garden of Eden, but he couldn't get them to move how he wanted, so he chuckled them into a river somewhere."
"...That explains.. Alot actually.." Luz muttered as she took out another piece of paper. And slapped it on a rock. "Alright, I think I have it now.. Just need to increase the light glyphs.. And-"
FWWWWOOOOOOM
A.. whole lady, a pale looking balenina, popped out of it. "..I did it.. I DID IT!" Luz jumped in the air. "Alright! I haven't lost my touch!"
The pale lady blinked, looking around. "Where am.." And the group stared at her. "..Oh…Luz, I-"
"Pearl.. I just want you to know… this is all your fault and we feel no sympathy for your pain." Lucci crossed his arms. "When this is over, we're shattering you."
"..I.. I'm just.. I'm sorry-" Pink squishy limbs wrapped around the lady.
"Just stand still so we can punch you and get home to save Lucci!" Spinel screamed. "He's dying because of you!"
"..Wait, Steven's-!"
"..I told you… My name…" The curly haired boy's body began to glow pink. "IS LUCCI!!!!" And in a split fast second, the boy sped over to the lady with a blitz-
Fwoooooossssssh
And in the lady's place, was a small hole of light in the middle of the air. "Huh … I did it-" And he was kicked in by Hunter.
"Attacking Clawthorne in a way I can say was for his own good … enjoyable." He smiled, before the imp hugged him.
"We'll make sure to visit ya tot!" The female imp grinned. "I'll teach ya how to use a knife properly and we can go huntin!"
"..But I already know how to use a knife-"
"No you don't." The imp women chuckled. "You may think you know, butcha don't."
"..Best to agree with her." The short imp male shrugged as he patted her head.
"It was nice meeting you guys, but we should leave, now!" Gus jumped inside the vortex, pulling Hunter along.
"Give Auntie Rosie my regards!" Willow waved as she jumped in.
"Hope you fuck over the rapists one day!" Boscha shouted as she waved to the spider, rolling in herself.
"Imma coming Lucci!" The stretchy woman bounced in.
"..Guess it's just me left." Luz sighed.
"And me." Amity kissed her cheek. "We'll walk in together Luz. I'm not gonna leave you behind."
"..You sure?" Luz asked, as the purple haired girl pulled on her ear. "Kidding, Kidding.. Honestly the test fest gave me some much needed catharsis… I'm just sad.. I won't be able to do much on the other side..no magic and all."
"Luz… every day is magical when I'm with you." Amity squeezed the girl's hand.
"Awww, it reminds me of our first date." Charlie chuckled, leaning on Vaggie.
"Yeah …" Except Charlie was the one pulling Vaggie around.
"..Well.. guess this is it." Luz turned to Charlie. "..Thanks for all the help.. Even if I was kind of a brat about it..and moody.. And put down your ideas."
"And tried to kill me." Ivan spoke up behind Pentious.
"I don't regret that." Luz glared. "At all."
"It's fine Luz…I'm sorry if I was pushy… if anyone knows how hard it is to stay optimistic.. It's me." Charlie sighed. "But It's be my pleasure to help you.. I'm never going to regret that."
"..Good luck Charlie." Luz hugged Vaggie's girlfriend. "I know what it's like to have an impossible dream.. So chase it down, even if you can't keep running."
"And if it doesn't work out, chances are, you'll be meeting each other again real soon!" The shitlord cackled.
"I'll be stabbing you in the back if I see you again." Luz waved off as she and Amity walked to the portal.
"Goodbye.." Charlie waved, as the hole in the air disappeared.
"..This was crazier than usual, right?" Angel asked. "I mean, aliens existing kind of makes it a bit of a shark jumping moment, I'm not alone in that, right?"
"I think it would be weirder if we've never met an alien." Nifty noted. "Like, would that mean all aliens are good people, or they're immortal?"
"If they even have souls to begin with." Alastor mused. "Something to ponder before we all die from extermination I guess."
"Not if we can convince heaven in redemption!" Charlie smiled, feeling a tad more hopeful than before. "If the living can break in and out of hell then. Anything is possible!"