There is no fanfare, no music or oppressive atmosphere. When we step close to the door, it swings open on its own in silence. If it had some great, ominous creaking noise, perhaps I'd be more hyped. But I suppose...I never realized how much heavy lifting OST changes did for setting the mood of a boss room.
As it is, the cavern ahead of us looks barely any more imposing than the rest of this place. The silence is deafening. It's hard to cling to the excitement I felt only moments ago. Partly because of that damn voice ruining the suspense. But also because of the lack of music and mood setting. I'm half-tempted to offer it some critique on how to set expectations when I see the boss of the dungeon. But that'd be a waste, given it won't be surviving the encounter. At least. That's the plan. After all this, a forced failure and retreat from the first boss would be beyond aggravating.
Visible through the large double doors is a large amphitheater-like room. The stone on the ground is smooth and polished, but not tiled. A set of stairs spiral up from the middle, supported by round pillars that hold no decoration. It's completely impractical and ridiculous looking. Maybe if there were more atmospheric fog and a blue-filter...? I don't know. I play games, but I've never made them myself, and I certainly wouldn't consider myself a graphical expert. I can just tell that this room is missing the impact it should have.
At the very top of the stairs is a flat platform, upon which seems to just be some kind of stone bench or coffin.
...If this is a necromancer, why has it stolen vampire style?
"Answer: Fayne El-Tine is a necromancer prot-lich. But don't be scared, Master, with your skills-"
Don't pretend I asked a question if you're not even going to answer what I said.
I grimace in irritation. I really hate those hand-holding kinds of guides and tutorials that never even try to let you figure anything out for yourself. I've never looked up a single strategy for a boss fight ahead of time, and I refuse to start now. I'll figure it out on my own, like I always have.
I'm aware there's no respawning in this world. It's a hardcore challenge I'm running blind, so I can't just learn by repeatedly dying like I might do normally. For that reason, I have to be more cautious, more careful, and be more tolerant of safety mechanisms like shields and standing back out of boss-aggro range. But I will not have a damn chirpy voice in my head ruin absolutely everything before I can experience it! There's no point in being here at all if everything I do is just being dragged by the hand by some tutorial bot! At that point, the system and that goddess - whatever her name was - might as well come do it herself.
I glare up at the coffin, because I can't glare at the System Helper, and march forward into the room. Apparently strategizing is off the table, because if I dare to try to think about what to do, or ask myself a question, that damn system help command will activate uncontrollably and ruin the entire experience. What horrible design. There must be some way to turn off the helper. I just need to figure it out. Maybe it will go away if I can finish this starter dungeon? Or perhaps there's some vocal command I have to issue to shut it off.
"Master, don't be so hurtful. I'm a blessing!"
Just.
Ignore it.
Ignore the voice. Ignore it until it gives up and goes away.
"Master! Pay attention! I'm your system helper, not a pest!"
A helper that arrives without permission absolutely is a pest! If I let this thing guide me it's not like I'll be doing anything myself. The game - or, this life, I suppose - will just play itself. There won't be any challenge. I can't think of a more miserable fate than to be trapped in a world without any challenge. I'm not interested in that at all.
"I...uh." Arin stares at me, his voice cutting through my thoughts.
I glance over at him and squint. "What is it?"
He can't hear my thoughts or that damn system helper, can he? I didn't say something out loud did I? I'm pretty sure I've done nothing but walk forward into the boss room silently at this point. That, and start walking up the steps toward the coffin.
When I look over my shoulder at the man, Arin is staring past me. Which is not a good sign. Elara screams before I finish turning back toward the boss, and a fireball connects immediately with my chest, sending me flying backward, off of the steps, and into a wall. My head spins a little bit from the impact, and it takes a moment of my gasping for breath again, before I get my feet back underneath me.
That. Was. Surprisingly not as painful as I'd expect for getting slammed into a wall at high speed. And. The fireball...
I blink and look down at myself. My shirt now has a fireball shaped hole in it, but my chest is unmarked. "What...?"
From the doorway, Elara gapes at me, a ball of flame spinning over her palm, wide eyed and breathing hard. "You...! Ryo, are you-?"
Before she can finish her statement, the now very awake boss sends a shower of smaller fireballs raining down upon us. I dash forward, away from the wall and up the steps. While I definitely feel the heat cross my back, I'm not too worried. Irritatingly, it seems like the System Helper was right after all; he's so weak that his fireballs aren't a concern. What is concerning is that, for being the boss of this dungeon, he doesn't even seem to be putting up as much of a fight as his own underlings. That doesn't make sense at all. How low level is this place.
"Answer: Fayne El-Tine is Level 9, Master!"
I didn't ask that.
"But you did ask! You asked!"
No. No, I am not getting drawn into an argument with that voice right now. I need to focus on the fight. Even if he seems overwhelming with his opening volley, there's always a chance that he has some kind of trick up his sleeve for later, especially for a form change. Even weak bosses can have a cheap instant-kill move or huge AOE attack that punishes unwary players. He could have petrification, or blindness or. Something. I need to stay focused.
I sprint my way up the steps this time, so he can't just knock me off again halfway up like last time. If his attack isn't good, maybe his defense is weak too and I can take him down like I did his men. His skeletons.
Even if he seems weak, I need to focus. I have to be careful. I can't hang back, taunt him, and hope for the best. There's no reset button here. Not for me, and not for the hapless escorts with me. I don't have any personal attachment to any of the people around me, but I don't relish the idea of watching anyone die. And if they do die, I'll have no way of finding that second dungeon they kept talking about, which might actually be where the real challenge is hidden. I won't know how to get to it if something happens to Elara.
The lich - proto-lich, apparently - turns its gaze toward me as I rush toward it. Its glowing yellow eyes look at me with something that seems to be disdain, despite it having no real facial features to allow it to emote. Indeed, I get the distinct impression of disgusted exasperation from its body language as I approach.
Can't say I appreciate that.
As soon as I'm within arm's reach, I swing my sword toward the proto-lich, who makes no attempt to dodge me at all.
"Fool!" The being laughs, the sound reverberating throughout the chamber as the blade of my sword just. Jams itself into the lich's spinal column. Apparently harmlessly.
Okay. I mean it makes sense, but I don't like it. If a sword works on the trash mobs, it shouldn't be completely useless on the boss. That's poor design. But...I guess I'm not going to complain about a difficulty spike, even if it's in defensive abilities. It's a good sign that the initial-
The lich's mouth opens and a torrent of black fire blasts toward me. I release the stuck sword's handle and fall backward, but not fast enough. The flames crackle and rush around me, enveloping me completely in only a moment. Elara screams something that might be my name, but the sound of the roaring flames at my ears drowns out almost all other sound.
It feels....
Like nothing. Not in an end of life way, but in a painless, empty way. It doesn't burn. It doesn't even sting. Slamming into the wall felt more unpleasant than the dark flames licking at my skin. When my vision finally clears, the shirt I've been wearing is gone, and my jeans are barely clinging to life and dignity. But myself...I'm unmarked. Not even a faint burn. If not for my clothes, I'd think the fire was an illusion of some sort applied in the dumbest way possible.
The lich grabs the sword wedged in its spinal column with one hand and flings it to the ground. It clatters across the stone, and slides right off the frankly dangerous edge, crashing down to the distant ground below.
Great. Awesome. Love that for me.
I guess it's not like I needed the weapon if it was just going to glance off of his bones harmlessly. Still, I stand there, swordless and shirtless, and feeling more than a little awkward, facing the boss without a decent weapon.
...Honestly?
Not my worst first boss.
So far, its attacks lack any serious punch to them, so. I guess I can just attack with my fists until I find some other, better blunt instrument.
I charge at it.
And get blasted in the face by one of its fireballs again. Not the useless black fire it shot from its mouth, mind, but the solid kind, which knocks me flying off of my feet. Not into another wall this time, fortunately, but skidding down at least half the flight of stairs leading up to the boss.
Ow.
I admit. I'm a bit dizzy when I open my eyes again, but part of that is that I'm looking at the room upside down - my useless party is standing at the doorway of the dungeon, looking upside down. The ground and walls are singed around them from where that rain of fireballs must have hit earlier. Elara is staring at me, horrified, Kael is staring up at the lich as if he thinks he can defeat it through sheer mental malice, and Arin reaches his hand out toward me, as if to heal me.
I thrust out my hand. "No. I'm fine!"
I don't need healing. Not right now. Especially not with a boss that seems to only know how to do annoying things, not do damage. Careful not to slip and fall the rest of the way down and turn this damn fight into even more of a clown show than it already is, I roll over and push myself back up to my feet.
"Young fools! You have dared to disturb the rest of the Mighty Fayne El-Tine!" The skeleton-lich up above me rattles a laugh, its voice booming across the room. "You were driven no doubt by the stories of my wealth, treasures that the weak and pathetic shall never have the honor of even beholding! Your greed is admirable, but it shall also spell your death!"
...He's just doing his cheesy introduction speech. Apparently my interference before delayed it.
Next to my feet, that cheap, useless, wooden shield lies on the steps. I'd kept it loosely strapped to my shoulder up until now in case I needed it. It must have been knocked free in that first impact with one of his fireballs. It's been so useless up to now that I didn't even notice its absence.
I glance up at the lich. It's gesturing its arms around, continuing to rattle on about destiny and fate. Truly, its dialog is more painful than its attacks.
I grit my teeth. What I need, is to get that damn thing off its platform before I get unlucky about how I land. I kneel down and pick up the shield in one hand, lashing its ragged and slightly singed leather straps to my arm.
I'm no shield bashing expert. But this is definitely blunt damage.
The lich turns its head toward me as I charge at it, shield first. "--think that you even have a chance to-"
I collide with the cloth-covered humanoid pile of bones, shield first, in my best attempt at a proper shield bash.
For once, the lich is the one knocked off of its feet, and my momentum sends the skeleton over and off the platform, just as my sword went.
...And then it sends me off, as well.