"Fool!" The lich's voice rattles across the area, for what must be the third time.
I'm beginning to think that this guy actually thinks we're going to care about his opinion on our performance. It's already irritating to hear him talk so much, but it's extra annoying that he thinks I should care about his tired villain boss lines.
I reach the chunk of wood on the floor. It's got a good heft to it, though it's hard to exactly describe what that means, except that it's how it feels to me. Maybe it's a bit unwieldy, but I'll make it work. It should at least be better than the sword, which definitely doesn't do anything to him. If this one doesn't work, frankly, I'm not sure what I'm expected to do. Except, perhaps, lose. But I always hate forced failure missions.
Taking the stick in both hands, I swing up toward the lich in a wide arc. It's in the middle of rambling something about ascending to demon king. I think. The heavy chunk of wood contacts the proto-lich's jaw mid-speech. I'm rewarded by the sound of a brittle crack and a noise that might be a yelp. The lich crashes backward onto the floor, and his jawbone spins through the air away from him.
Much more effective. And, hopefully, something that will stop him from speaking.
I glance down at the makeshift club in my hand. It's bigger than the torch and club I've used in previous battles. Thicker, too. Definitely not made up of the broken shield. Where in the world had Arin gotten this? In this room somewhere? But this place is empty - just stone objects everywhere I've looked. Could he have carried it in from another room?
I guess it's possible. It's not as if I've been paying any attention to the man.
Regardless, the lich staggers to his feet once more, shaken but clearly not defeated by my sturdy strike, "For that, I'll ensure you all wish you were flayed. Starting with you."
...Damn.
I suppose it makes sense that it's magic letting him speak though, given he's never had any lips or tongue or....throat. I still don't like it though.
Blue energy flares up around his broken skull and he thrusts out his arm toward me. I manage just in time to lift my club, as a burst of light lances out from his fingertip into me, the force sending me skidding back a few steps. But not off of my feet for once. So that's progress.
This. Is annoying.
His attacks aren't doing anything to me, just knocking me - and everyone else - around like some kind of pinball. And even doing some actual damage to him hasn't apparently triggered any harder stage. Not to mention, I'm pretty sure I'm only doing chip damage to him. That's not a deal breaker, but I can't say it's particularly thrilling or engaging. I'll have to consider looking for better weapons later, if this is how bosses are going to be. Assuming they actually end up any threat to me in the future, that is.
Granted, I don't relish the idea of feeling pain, but pain is just a part of conquering this world in the proper way. Struggling and enduring pain, unpleasant as it is, is just part of the challenge. If he can't even cause me real pain, much less harm, he's not a threat.
I sigh in frustration and shake my head. "Can't you try to be threatening?"
"What-how dare you?" The lich draws itself up to its full height. Its arms reach above its head and lighting begins to crackle above it.
...Ah. Lightning magic. Now there's something dangerous.
I charge forward and slam my shoulder into its torso, tackling it to the ground. As expected, this interrupts its spell cast. And gets bony, sharp looking fingers reaching up to rake across my face like some kind of angry undead cat. Bone scrapes across my face in a way that gives me unpleasant goosebumps, as I wrestle with its arms, struggling to pin its arms down with the stick in my hands before it can do any real damage.
I admit. I don't have a good follow up plan. It's a little embarrassing, but I expected to actually do more damage after all those trash mobs fell so easily.
"Master! If you use magic you'd be defeating him so much faster!"
Thank you for that useless advice. If I knew magic that might actually be helpful. I'm not sure why you felt the need to inform me of it.
"You have complete Elemental Mastery, Master! That means if you just try to use any spell your mind will make it work!!"
The hell I do.
A point blank explosion of fire sends me flying through the air once more. Again.
Damn it, that is getting old, It still doesn't hurt, except my impact with the ground knocking my breath out of my body, but no one wants to be knocked around like a rag doll!
I growl in irritation and stumble back up to my feet, collecting my club. "Can you try anything else?"
...Well, to his credit he did try the lightning thing. I just interrupted him. But I'm not feeling charitable.
The lich laughs. As if it's in any position to do so. It steps forward and lifts a hand. "Perhaps. It is not often that weak adventurers such as yourself can bear witness to my ultimate technique, but you have vexed me in particular extreme."
It's not lightning but darkness that begins to gather at its palm. Interesting. Could it be a gravity type attack? Some kind of powerful AOE? Is this his instant-kill attack, perhaps? If it is, what is the-
Before my thoughts can finish, Kael - who has at some point finally managed to stand up again - tackles the lich like a linebacker. He leaps into the air before he crashes into the lich, and the both of them go spinning, rolling, and ultimately crash into a nearby wall together.
"The hell are you doing?!" Kael manages to shout with surprising energy, for having just slammed into a wall and a skeleton.
That's twice the lich has tried some other attack and been interrupted. Well, it's his own fault if he has casting time and no way to prevent interruption, really.
Predictably, Kael is sent skidding back the way he came, slamming into another of the pillars holding up the staircase with a crack that's either him or stone. Probably him. It does buy me the time to close the distance to the lich before it can blast me away though. When it swings its arm at me on what I presume is instinct, I parry the blow with the club. Bone and wood both crack, the slam of both swings colliding at once reverberating through the room. Neither my club or his arm snap off completely, but a quick glance says either one won't last much more. Which is unfortunate, because I've only got one of these.
"Hurry Master! Keep Fayne distracted a little longer!"
What-?
Distracted? Distracted from what?
The uninjured arm slams into my face.
So that's how it feels.
The force at which my head slams into the wall is alarming, but something I will have to worry about later. What matters is that it didn't actually knock me out of arms' reach this time, due to how close to the wall we both are. Before he can get the idea to skitter away and start another spell, my arm snaps out and seizes his. The injured one. Good.
I wrench it with my arm and spin with my whole body away from him, using my own weight to yank him forward. Satisfyingly, though it doesn't rip the whole arm off, it does cause the damaged bone to snap with an explosive sound and a shriek of what is either anger or pain from the lich.
I blink and stare down at my hard won prize.
It isn't all that often that I get the opportunity to beat something with its own arm. But given how magical this creature is...eh. It's worth a shot.
"What. Are you?"
I don't particularly know why it's asking me that, of all things, when I'm the human and its the lich talking without a mouth. But it's just another one of those boss lines, I suppose.
"Bored."
The bones connected to the hand do make a surprisingly effective flail, as they score across the lich's already damaged face.
"NOW!" Elara shouts.
I turn my head just in time to see Elara and Arin posing with their hands together, and beams of light shoot out at the lich.
Someone's hand grabs my arm, and I'm yanked physically away from the creature before I can figure out what the hell is going on.
I end up in a pile with the rogue, Kael, laying on my back on the ground, staring upward just in time to see three light beams come together over the skull of the lich. They swirl around his head in rapid circle that makes it look like it's creating a halo over the top of him from where I'm looking. There's a flash of light and an incredibly high pitched siren sound. My hands clasp over my ears on instinct.
White fire engulfs the lich like he's dry straw on a hot summer's day, devouring him faster than I've seen anything burn away before. He doesn't even get an opportunity for cliche last words.
I groan, and shove Kael off of me once it's evident he's not about to spring back up from the ashes. As I do so, I hear the sound of someone collapsing onto hard stone. And our healer is once again on the ground.
I sigh and shake my head. I'd say Arin isn't meant for adventuring if he's collapsed twice against an enemy so weak that he couldn't manage to do damage to any of the rest of us in a whole fight, but apparently he did just do some kind of anti-undead spell. And that's more than I've managed. Embarrassing, but not unexpected enough to dwell on.
...Clearly the physical build is not going to be as feasible as I'd like it to be. Not if bosses are that immune to it.
Granted, I'm not entirely against the idea of bosses that take chip damage. But the rest of the fight has to be engaging if I'm going to do that. Not a slog that tests nothing but my patience.
There's a click somewhere off to the left of me, and as I turn my head, large stone doors I've never noticed before slowly swing inward toward some room that stands in complete darkness.
The treasure room, maybe?
"Answer: It's a secret second dungeon with greater treasure, opened by defeating the boss of this one!"
Always glad to have a voice there to spoil even the slightest exploration opportunities.
I sigh and shake my head, straightening myself and brushing the dirt off of what remains of my pants. "...So are we going to the second dungeon now?"
"Arin is clearly not capable of continuing to fight." Kael glares at me, voice just shy of snapping.
I glance over at the crumpled healer. "Didn't you bring any potions...?"
Elara, who is kneeling over him, goes red and glances away from him, "A-anyway, we haven't found the loot yet."
Well. Alright. I'm challenge motivated, not loot motivated, but at this point it's undeniable I could do with a weapon that's effective against something more than base level trash.
I run my fingers through my hair and give a short nod. "Right. Will we have to carry that guy, then...?"
Elara shakes her head. "No, he'll be fine in a few minutes. Give him time to recover his magic points."
Note to self. If I ever use magic, I need to make sure I don't run out of MP. Collapsing like that in an actually dangerous battle would be deadly. Also embarrassing. Especially if I die.
"In the mean time..." Elara walks toward me and squints at me, hands on her hips. "How did you just take all those blasts?"
Before I can respond, the ever-helpful System Helper chirps in my brain.
"Answer: That's because you have Absolute Defense, Master!"
Absolute.
What.