Monica:
I hate losing my shit in front of people especially people I love. I mean, I'm mad at Seb sure. But like not mad mad, just I wanna bitch slap you mad.
I was trying so hard not to think about the tattoo_yes, it's called denial _ I love tattoos on men ( or women) just not me, not on me.
And Seb was right, I never wanted one, I mean does it look kinda hot and sluty, yes~
But, and I can't stress this enough, I didn't want one, and you would think it was actually forced on me the way I'm complaining.
I remember exactly when I lost it on my dream man_ yes, I'm officially in love with the faceless guy who took my virginity, get over it_ actually lost it, full fucking tantrum, at 18! wow. You know in the books when fl gets so drunk and hocks up with a guy and somehow only remembers the sex? WHY THE HELL COULDN'T I HAVE THAT? DID I HAVE TO REMEMBER EVERYTHING?
After getting kicked out of the taxi, I sat on the sidewalk and layed down on my back screaming and wailing incoherent shit_ my only saving grace, can u imagine if I yelled out about wanting to lose my v-card in public, I will have to change continents_ obviously, Honey couldn't leave me there.
Usually when people want to shut other people up you get like, a shush, a hand on the mouth, a kiss, food shoved down your throat.... My man ....grabbed my tongue with his fingers and lightly pulled it out, I don't know why but it worked. I was silent, no silenced. I was so shocked by it I just kept looking at him until he slowly removed his fingers _ we're not going to discuss why I felt disappointed when he did_ he didn't move from his position on top of me ( no physical contact btw) not even an inch, we sat there on the sidewalk, a very busy sidewalk, looking at each other, me on my back and him on top, as people tried to walk past us.
_Thank fuck I wasn't planning to move to main state any time soon, or ever for that matter_
What broke our staring contest was a stranger who pushed Honey on me, muttering something about ' get a room ' .... He lightly kissed me_ actually it was just a peck on the lips_ and I ....burfed on him....it was expected ngl, all those cocktails were sure to cause my poor stomach trouble.
We, aka panicked me and tired him, went to nearest bathroom aka the bathroom at the tattoo shop in front of us, thankfully he knew the owner and they let him use the bathroom, I went to try and help him but I got rejected, actually shut down is the word to describe what he did to me.
To be fair, he was wearing a wet wife beater to everyone in that shop while holding the shirt _ very expensive looking one btw _ I painted with my stomach's fluids late at night in his friend's tattoo shop.
You ask how do I know it's his friend? As I sat near the door waiting for him to finish cleaning up, said friend? Was talking my ears off about the matching tattoos they had and what not for 30 minutes _ Honey was washing his shirt in the backroom and waiting for it to dry, away from me_30 minutes none stop, I was questioning wether he had taken a breather in between words or not when Honey got out, and then he became the target of the word assault.
Me? After hearing the words tattoo and matching for half an hour, went to one of the artist pointed at Honey and asked for a matching tattoo . You would think they wouldn't let me get one since y'know I'm drunk and never had one before or the fact that I just pointed to a guy and not a sketch when asked what I want on my body.... Nope , I was told to sit and that I did, she was the one who did Honey's original bicep tattoo and had a sketch and everything, took all of ten minutes before he came to find me ...drunk, very drunk in fact he was stumbling. Idk what the other guy did but I'm thankful, because drunk Honey was the sweetest, he loved the fact I was getting that specific tat on me as my first tattoo, and he kept praising me the whole session on my pain tolerance, confidence and my ....ass ..... By the end of the session I paid for half the tattoo since it's incomplete and although honey offered to pay for it for whatever reason, I shut him down and even though he wasn't happy about it, he didn't put up a fight thankfully.
You would think I was ashamed of what I did next, since I went to a hotel got the cheapest room possible_ I already hit my budget with the drinks and tat_ grabbed Honey and went to the room, the way I attacked that poor man like ...like a fucking horny man...gosh I'm embarrassed.
I just realized I never asked for consent....he was clearly more intoxicated than I was, and I initiated everything without asking first ... Is that allowed. Omg, did I take advantage of that man!!! Fuck I ... Why tf didn't I ask? I'm a scumbag ...am I going to jail?
Before I go to dad and confess my crime, I need to make sure I did what I think I did_ last time I was the laugh of the house when I pushed the neighbors cat off me because the shithead was so fat it rivalled a mini fridge and it fell then acted dead, young me believe it and ran to dad asking him to arrest me because the guilt was too much_ Trixie answered after the second ring.
" Whatsup sugarcup?"
" Nothing much, hey you busy?"
" Technically no? Why?"
" I need an opinion, an honest and serious one."
" I'm listening."
" I .... I had sex with this guy, uhm he was drunk like ..."
" Congrats love but don't think you're off the hock for ignoring my advice, you'll get an earful next time I see you."
"So not the point, he was very drunk like really drunk and I didn't ask consent...is it unethical/ illegal? Pls be honest."
" I ... Didn't expect that, normally I will make a joke but this is a serious matter, how drunk we talking? Like can't-move-unconscious drunk or teary-eyes-open-not-knowing-what-was-going-on drunk?"
" Trix! I didn't roofie him! He was responsive, he talked me through it, well after I pounced on him."
" I can hear the blush from here, my girl! Wait no not yet... What do me responsive like... Was he ...now how do I say this without you dying of shyness? Oh! Did he pleasure himself?"
" ....Yes, he came inside-"
" You let him bare?!!? Monica!"
" What? No ofc not. I mean he did ask to paint my insides white but I didn't fold I know better than that... Trix? You there?"
" Bish he was dirty talking you and you asking if he consented? Ofc he did, next you're going to tell me pushing his head down when he ate you out is assault."
" Is it? Because he might have just done so because I sucked..hello? Trix? " She hung up on me, well at least she did answer and said no it wasn't assault.
Highlight of the day: Mom brought me ice cream in bed, heaven .