CHAPTER 18
HAYAT POV:
I didn't know what to talk about, so I looked around the room when he broke the silence, "Hayat, what month do you think we should pick?"
"My university will start in March, and since it's November already, I think January or February will be all right. What do you say?" I asked... after thinking about it for a moment.
"I think January will be good, but can you handle everything? It'll be winter," He asked, considering me again. I told him once in our conversation about my hate for the winter season since I get cold easily, but he didn't forget about it… That's thoughtfulness.
"Hmm, it will be all right, and the date?" I asked again.
"Let me see the calendar… we can have our nikkah on 19th January since it's Friday, and after a week, we can have our wedding on 27th January, and we can do the reception after your semester is done since the media will find about it quickly, I don't want to disturb your university life just because of media," He looked up after giving a suggestion.
"I-I mean, if you are comfortable, then only we will finalize it," He continued.
I smiled at him, standing up, "I'm ready, the date is good to go, can I have a tour of this beautiful place?" I asked, looking at him when he nodded his head, gesturing for me to follow him out…
"We won't live here, Hayat," he said after showing me the 2nd story of the house. Turing around, I asked, "Then where?"
"At our place, our home, our penthouse," That "our" in his sentence made my heart feel at ease, and fluttered a bit, that did something to my heart, just some simple words holding a lot more meaning than a long explanation, how smoothly he used "our" instead of "my."
"But I want to live with your family, here," I couldn't help but say my heart to him, while trying not to look desperate. I want to feel the love. I want to have a healthy relationship with my in-laws... I want to live with them.
"We can come here from time to time, I promise, but live with me in our home Hayat, I- I get nightmares sometimes at night and I don't like to worry my mother, I didn't want to get married too, so I won't spoil my wife's life but I like you and I want to live with you there." He opened up to me… his voice held hesitation, yet he spoke about his feelings to me… for me… he likes me, which means I'm not the only one…
"Okay, but I still need a tour, please." We smiled at each other, understanding the pain, hesitation… He continued to tell me about the place and some beautiful memories connected to it, while I loved listening to them...
After discussing everything with our family, the date was finalized, and everyone hugged each other in pure happiness. Ashar and I made eye contact, his lips held a teasing smile, and he started his drama, "Meri hone wali bhabi, meri student, mannerless woman, welcome to our family." He bowed and said to me while I laughed a little, such a dramatic man he is. (Translation: My soon-to-be sister-in-law, my student)
"You self-obsessed manic, thank you for the warm welcome," I replied, shaking our hands and watching us. The elders laughed at our silly talk as we soon said goodbye and parted ways.
"Let's meet at our place tonight. I want to discuss some things with you," I replied to the text message with a simple thumbs up when I received another text: "My soon-to-be wife never reacts with an emoji like this, please, I feel left out. Try to reply with a word, thank you." Shaking my head, I thought about how silly he had become while living with Ashar.
"Okay, my soon-to-be husband." I texted back, sliding the phone into my chachi's handbag. I got inside the car with Chachu Chachi, driving out to our home.
Changing into baggy jeans and a shirt, I made a mental note to update my entire wardrobe to desi clothes… like I used to wear with lilac in the past.
I loved those dresses, I used to wear them when me and Eira used to hang out, my life changed a lot after her death, I started wearing weird clothes, escaping to the clubs, not praying, sometimes smoking too, late night outings and much more... but now it's time for me to change myself to "better me" to find the better me myself.
Reaching our usual place at night, I looked for him… Ahad, to be exact. When I couldn't find the man who stole my heart, I started to look for Ashar. "Miss Hayat, what a pleasant surprise at this time of the night." I rolled my eyes at his daily drama; it's like he doesn't know I come here every other week.
"I came to meet your brother. Where is he?" Ashar looked confused, and the bag of chips from his hand slipped as he said, "I don't know, I haven't seen him here today."
"Here I am, my lady." He came from behind, his bike parked at the other side of the road, and just as I was about to greet him, he gestured for me to walk towards my car. Giving a nod, I walked to my car, with him coming behind me.
He took the passenger seat, holding a pen with a notebook in front of him. He asked, "I- Well, you tell me about your dream vision for our wedding, how you want our wedding to be?"
"You want to write down my wishes?" It was one of the moments where all I felt was the satisfaction of having someone who listened to all my ranting, even when it didn't make sense. I can count on my fingers how many people listened to me genuinely… "Go on," his voice tender like filled with softness.
I laughed a little and asked, looking at the other side, "Well, there are some things I want to arrange at our wedding. You won't laugh at my silly talks, right?" He looked at me and shook his head... "Just tell me, I won't laugh, I promise."
"Okay then, hmm, I want to wear an abaya on our nikkah and you should wear a white shalwar kameez with a waistcoat and just simple arrangements and us together at the same place hearing one another say Qubool Hai, and I want to wear wine red lehenga on our wedding and yeah I want no one, not even a single soul wearing red on our special day, can we do that?" I had this dream to wear a wine-red dress at my wedding when I and Eira once saw a beautiful bride wearing it, stealing our hearts. (Translation: I do)
As I asked him with hopeful eyes, he simply gave a smile, with a nod, still taking notes.
"And I want the wedding simple yet elegant, no songs, just some background instrumental music, and no one taking our pictures without our permission, and I want to hide my face in the net veil till you pull that up to look at my face first, oh, I know it's kind of cringe, but can we do that?" I said without looking at him... even imagining my dream coming alive makes me excited.
Turning to him after completing my whole talk show, I saw a beautiful smile forming on his face. "Anything else, my would-be wife," I thought to myself and shook my head, "Okay, done."
He put aside the notebook, his arm crossed, and suggested eating out somewhere close. I was not in the mood to drive, so I took the passenger seat while he drove us to the spot. Our food.
"Hayat, I wanted to ask a question if you don't mind," his voice held a little hesitation. I looked to the side and nodded my head, directing him to continue.
"Why are you not close with your parents?" He might have asked it because everything is being prepared by Chachu Chachi instead of my father, as it should have been, but I don't consider them as my family…
I sighed, "Wait for the right time, please. I need some time to talk about this topic." I turned my face to the other side while waiting for our food to arrive...