CHAPTER 22
HAYAT POV:
I made a lot of memories on this short trip and I loved Ahad's cute face when Ashar called me his girlfriend, his care for me when he gave me his shawl, him listening to each and everything I blabber while we were at his room door, him bringing flowers and bangles for me, him wearing shalwar kameez, oh, I love all of it.
I made a lot of memories with Ashar, too. We are now back in Karachi, Ashar is driving this time while I sit beside him, and Ahad is taking some rest in the back seat.
"Hayat," Ashar called me.
I hummed with my eyes closed.
"You miss Eira?" My eyes opened up, and I glanced at him. He has never asked me about her, and this suddenly caught me off guard.
"Don't look at me like that. She is my sister, too. I miss her, but I don't just show it; she was not too close to me, but to bhai, but I love her as much as bhai does. I miss her… a lot, but I just don't like to open up about it," Ashar responded, still driving the car.
"We were friends for 6 years, not just friends, but we were sisters. I spent more time with her than with my own family. I was just 14 when I met her online, and she became my closest person; never had I thought I would be left behind." Gulping down the lump formed in my throat, I continued.
"I went to the same college and university to be with her, and I shifted to Karachi to my Chachu's place for her... she was a year senior than me, I left the university after her d- death, and I have been in grief for last past four years, if not for my courage to run away from home and come to Karachi months ago, I would have been there in Islamabad locked in my room," my heart ached as a glimpse of her smile flashed in my mind.
"We made a lot of memories together. I do miss her," opening my eyes, I looked at the front, trying to stop the tears that welled up in my eyes…
"Why weren't you there at her funeral?" Ashar raised a question, looking at me with suspicious eyes.
"I didn't know, I was locked in my bedroom… I was caught going out with her at night for our date, and the dorm ma'am called my parents and reported them, instead of my Chachu, they dragged me from my hostel at night, it was Saturday, I was locked in my own house, in my room for a month" the memories haunt me, but I had to tell them how a beautiful piece of glass was broken.
"When I got my phone back, and that too because my Chachu came to get me, I happily checked my phone and found a lot of text messages from Eira's classmates and our roommates." The silence in the car was deadly haunting.
"I read their messages- the... the messages were, Eira is dead, where are you, why aren't you at her funeral, were you just acting? They questioned me, my friendship, everything, and I couldn't answer them." I wiped my tears away, and I didn't know when the car stopped on the side of the road...
"I regret not being there for her, I regret not looking at her face for the last time… I regret a lot of things in my life, but I don't want you to question my friendship."
I glanced at Ashar and found him crying, and when I looked back, I found Ahad sitting in the same place with his eyes closed but with visible tears on his cheeks.
Turning to my window side, I hide as I could hear the muffled voice of Ashar beside me. Suddenly, my side of the door was torn open, and I was engulfed in a tight yet gentle hug, the sudden pat on my head, and the heartbeat near my ear had me clutching the material of the cloth in my hand, no words spoken, yet the moment was so much emotion.
"I I-I'm sorry," I whispered and found the arms tighter around my neck, breaking the hug, I found Ashar walking up to me, he held my hand in his, wiping the slight tears running down my cheek, said, "I'm with you."
Maybe people might not understand or feel how much three words can mean to you when you have been alone all your life, with people making you feel unimportant.
We soon sobered up and grabbed lunch on our way home. Ashar dropped himself, and then I got into the driving seat while Ahad came into the passenger seat.
"Eira and I were going for the race on Sunday night. She was at home for a week when I got back from Australia, I studied at the University of Chicago, my bike passion started from there and whenever I used to come back for vacation, I would go on rides and both of my siblings loved it too, Eira and I took Kawasaki Ninja H2R, and Ashar got BMW S1000 RR, we three used to race together, laugh together." Ahad started, taking me off guard; I was not ready for this…
"The day she was upset, she continuously said, Because of me, she got caught, and now I know what would have been happening to her. I miss her, bhai. I did wrong last week… I comforted her, and we went on a ride. She was crazily faster that night. She was not listening to me. I was telling her to slow down, but she did not listen to me. I was a little bit back when I suddenly heard some noise from her side," Ahad stopped, his eyes closed, felt like time stopped as my heartbeat.
"I tried to call her name, but she didn't respond… when I finally reached there, I saw the truck which she collided with, her body was there, lifeless on the road," his voice broke, he stilled for a while, continuing, "Hayat, I didn't go near her, I zoned out… I-I was sitting there a little far from her. I looked at her continuously, yet she lay there lifeless." As if he needed to let it out, his voice was choked up, yet he didn't stop.
It pained me a lot, to know that he has to go through all that, he had to see all of it, "Her eyes were looking at mine, I was looking at her when I found my parents near her, my brother near me, hugging me asking me about the accident, I still looked at her and I don't know what happened after that," his eyes met mine, as if asking if I believe him.
"When I woke up, I saw my mother beside me, she grabbed my hand and took me near my life's lifeless body that was covered in white sheets, I hugged her and cried, hiccups were the only thing heard not her heartbeat, she was not breathing, Hayat," a sob broke his lips, my eyes were blurry with the tears that couldn't get a hold on themselves.
"Ashar was beside me, how long I cried, I don't know. I sat with her, my father, Ashar, Arham, Hammad, and some other people took her to the graveyard to bury her. I don't know when I came home. I did not feel anything after her death." A pained smile met his lips, he wiped the tears off my face, and it still held a tenderness, softness, even after everything he went through.
"I started my bike ride again 3 years ago when I realized she loved bike rides, we kept save guard for the racers who joined us, I started my own company before she left us which was in hands of my father for 3 years, I took over the both companies after Baba said he wants to retire, Ashar soon joined me and we did what we could to keep going forward." Like it was a new ray of hope had begun, his voice changed, held an unknown motivation, a power to continue with life.
Lumps formed in my throat, and I couldn't speak. I just cried while he was telling me all the things that happened while I was not here with her... a truth which I should have known for a long time.
"She loved you a lot, Hayat, and I can see how much you love her, too. I'm now trying to move on from the past that holds many memories; the courage you gave me, without you knowing it, was a push for me to go further. I found myself again, now I want you to find yourself too." He spoke, looking at me with those beautiful eyes that right now held tears.
We were silent the whole time, till I dropped him off at his penthouse, which soon will be my home too...
I reached home and cried in my chachi's arms, sharing my whole heart with her. She hugged me and patted my head, whispering sweet nothings to me… holding me tight.