CHAPTER 20
HAYAT POV:
Time is flying really fast now. It's been three weeks since the commotion, and three weeks since I haven't visited the place like before. I have been ignoring everyone these days, even Ahad, too.
He sends audio notes of Peer-e-Kamil daily at night and does a Shabakhair and Subhabakhair message to me daily, and I haven't replied to him for weeks now. (translation: good night and good morning)
I have completed the admission process, and I will soon join the university after marriage, but as the marriage date is approaching, I'm getting scared…
Scared of how my family might react after seeing my wedding card, we had a small meeting. Only my Chacha Chachi from my side joined. I talked to Sana, my sister, and asked her to come, but she refused. My stepmother didn't have a phone; otherwise, I would have called her directly, too. I spoke to her from Sana's phone, and she said no. She made my memories beautiful while I lived there, but let's forget that for now.
I'm getting calls from Ashar again. This person has been calling me nonstop for three weeks. Every day, I get 15 to 20 calls from him. I need to ask him which package he has chosen when he calls, and of course, I don't answer.
Today is Monday, and I've changed my entire wardrobe after everything that happened over the past few weeks. I'm returning to my old self, the one I only shared with Eira. I want to improve myself. I don't feel entitled to change for the sake of the marriage, but I'm trying to reconnect with my old self, and it feels refreshing.
Wearing a blue kurta with a net dupatta on the side, and securing my hair in a bun, I applied moisturizer and lip balm. Having acne on my face was one of my biggest insecurities when I was young, until I met Eira, who made me love myself just as I am.
Coming out of my room, I looked for Chachi. I found a little note on the dining table and read it: "My daughter, take as much time as you need. No one is angry or upset with you. We'll wait for our baby to come to us when she needs us. Oh, by the way, I'm going with your mother-in-law to distribute cards."
I picked up the notepad and wrote down a message for her, and went out.
Chachu has always spoiled me. My father did not give me a card to get myself anything I wanted anytime, but my chachu did. My stepmother never cooked food for me, but my Chachi did. Every time I recall old memories, it's always with them only...
I got ready for some cooking classes and also bought an abaya.
When I first talked to Ahad, he said he didn't mind if I didn't wear an abaya, but he'd love it if I did, so I decided to give it a try, for his sake and mine.
I brought everything I needed, finally took my phone from the passenger seat, and called Ahad directly. The phone rang for a while before it ended itself.
I looked at my phone, wondering if I should be calling Ashar. Suddenly, it rang again, and I heard a soft, "Assalaamu Alaikum."
"Waalaikum assalam, Kaisy hain ap?" (Translation: How are you?)
"Mai theek hoon, Alhamdulillah, ap batao kaisi ho?" I hummed in response and said nothing else. I didn't know what to say to him. I wanted to talk, but what should I say? I wondered and waited. (Translation: I'm good, Alhamdulillah, how about you?)
After a few minutes of silence, I heard someone behind Ahad speak, "Bhai, clients aa gaye hain, aa jao meeting suru krein." (Translation: Bro, the client is in the meeting room, let's go.)
"Shush, I'm talking to your sis-to-be. You attended the meeting on my behalf today." I heard the muffled voice of Ahad as he responded to Ashar.
"You can go and attend the meeting. I'll call later," I whispered, not wanting to disturb him.
"No, you talk to me, Hayat," I heard him reply instantly.
"I wanted to talk, but I don't know what I should say," I admitted, not knowing how to start the conversation.
"Okay, then tell me, did you have your lunch?" he asked, and I hummed.
"Did you get admission done?" He asked, and I hummed this time too.
"Hayat, I missed you." His words took me by surprise. I was shocked for some time. "I'm sorry for ignoring you, Ahad." Composing myself, I spoke meowing like a little cat.
"My wild cat should not be sorry, if you want space, I'll give it to you… If you want to talk, I'll talk to you… If you want to go anywhere, I'll take you… I'll be there with you on each step you take, just hold my hand and lead me the way, I'll follow you without hesitation."
I smiled, his way of understanding me has my heart at ease, it didn't feel like I needed to be the push version of me.
"I'm scared of this marriage," I told him truthfully...
"Why?"
"I don't know, what if I won't be a good wife? What if I won't be able to manage everything? What if I won't be able to exceed the expectations you all have of me? What if-" I was cut off by him...
"Shush, why are you overthinking so much, bacha? You don't need to change yourself for anyone. Don't worry about others' expectations; let them think whatever they want. You'll be a good wife for me, and I'll try to be a good husband for you. Everything will work out, and I'll be there for you, by your side." His voice was soft as he tried to console me.
I wanted to look at his face right now, his calm expression while he was consoling me, but let's not forget I have been ignoring him.
"I'll ignore you in the future too like this, I'm really moody and I have a habit of spitting facts straight in the faces, I will fight, be clingy and be childish too, and I missed you too," the words were out of my mouth before I could think straight, as I cut the call, taking a deep breath, I drove to the Seaview to enjoy this cold weather a little bit... and forget what I said at last, too.
Getting myself a cup of coffee, I took out my phone to see Ashar calling me, and this time, I picked it up.
"You dumb, idiot, crazy woman, you ignored me for three weeks straight, and now you are talking to Ahad bhai! Where the hell am I on the list? When were you planning to call me and give me an explanation? You, mannerless, disobedient child of mine." Hearing his loud voice, I kept my phone a little far away to save my poor ear.
"I'm sorry, I have been going through a lot," I whispered.
"You okay now? Do you want some company? I can get a day off from bhai, or I can send him to look after you?" I smiled at his concern… wait, did he say send Ahad to look after me? Am I a baby?
"Would you and Ahad like to join me for a trip to Hyderabad to get my dream bangles for the wedding?" I asked, hoping to hear a yes.
"Oh, why won't I be stupid? I'll talk to bhai, and we'll meet you at our place. Wait a second, won't I be a third wheel?"
"Ahh, no, I'll get to know you both better on our way there. I have asked Chachu, and he doesn't have a problem." I heard an excited okay from him, we cut the call, and I made my way home to dress in some comfortable clothes, packing some essentials and snacks. At last, I hugged my Chacha Chachi and got out of the house to drive away.