"Yes. And I armed myself with the Word."
Ann laughed softly, shaking her head. "You won't believe the first scripture that really stuck with me… 2 Corinthians 12:9—*'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.'* I used to think my weakness disqualified me. But now I know my weakness is *where* God wants to show Himself."
She looked at Felicia. "That changed everything."
There were nights she still cried. Mornings she still doubted. But each time she fell, she fell forward—into the arms of a God who wasn't surprised by her failure.
"You know what else?" Ann asked.
"What?"
"I started writing letters to myself. I'd write how I felt, and then respond to myself with scriptures. It was like giving myself therapy—God's version."
Felicia nodded. "You were healing."
"Yes. Slowly. But truly."
She started attending accountability groups. Joined a small Bible study. Found other girls who weren't ashamed to admit they struggled too. And together, they healed.
"I'm not ashamed anymore, Felicia," she said. "And I want other girls to know they don't have to be either"
Felicia sat in stunned silence as Ann spoke. It was as if a veil had been lifted. The girl she thought she knew—cheerful, dramatic, full of jokes—had walked through a fire and come out refined.
"I never knew you went through all that, Ann," Felicia finally whispered.
Ann nodded. "Most people didn't. I looked okay outside, but inside I was in a war. Masturbation felt like a secret comfort… something I ran to when I was stressed, lonely, insecure. But after it, I always felt empty."
Felicia looked down. "I've felt that too…"
Ann reached out and held her hand. "You're not alone, Felicia. That's why I'm talking about it. I want to drag this thing out of the shadows. I want girls like us to know that they can be free, really free."
Felicia looked at her with tears in her eyes.
"I used to think God was disappointed in me," Ann continued. "But now I understand—He wasn't distant, He was right there. Waiting. Loving me. And when I came to Him, He didn't shame me… He *restored* me."
She smiled gently. "Now, I'm helping other girls through my story. I've even started writing devotionals, and I share my journey with younger girls in my fellowship."
"You turned your weakness into a ministry," Felicia said quietly.