I don't want to dwell on silly things, they make time pass quickly when you're happy and torturously slow when you're not. It's a thing, a shopping spree comes to mind thing.
I see you looking at me like you want to give me money, I'll tell you what; I'll take all the money you have and look at you like you're beneath me afterwards, how's that?
It's a gift - being mean and apathetic, a gift given by too many people that looked at me like I owed them money. Yes, I wasn't born like this. That's right, like everybody else, I wasn't born looking at people with guarded eyes. I picked it up from my next door neighbour who looks at me like I slept with her husband.
She has too many problems I think. Who does that to people they don't know anyway?
I pity her - not. So what?
I'm pretty. I've told her countless times whenever I see her, everyone I know has said it to me practical my whole life. If I didn't believe them, wouldn't I be letting them down? It's not like everyone would waste their time lying to me, why would they? I'm not God, I won't give them anything in return.
I don't know where our feud comes from exactly, I woke up one morning to her screaming our whole neighborhood numb about my dog keeping hers away from home. Really, that happened, could it happen - could it really?
But how sure was she that the dog was mine in the first place? We live in the same neighborhood, same houses, wear same clothes, have the same dogs and...
...and if she kept pestering me, our husbands would be the same.
It hasn't been the same after that, not only for us but for our whole neighborhood, it isn't the same at all. We never realised how similar we were until we were standing next to each other, speaking the same language, wondering if we were thinking the same things?
Were we? - The creeps.
I need a drink so badly.
Who cares about originality anyway, isn't it enough I'm alone in my sleep?
My twentysix years of living and a mad-angry-resentful woman made me question who I am. Isn't it funny, I can't tell who's madder-angrier- resentful-ler between her and I.
I could sell my house or abandon my dog. Only, who the hell does she think she is? My conscious is clear and my dog isn't a dog - really - you know what I mean. My dog isn't a dog at heart, it just looks like one? Argh!
Hell.
Being a pet lover sure is hard, where my love life defeats me, I have to meddle in his - willingly or not - enjoying benefits or not. Seriously, why was I not sleeping with her husband again?
She and I are now what people would call ends of the same rope. Yep, whoever moves from their position is the loser and I will not move, not even an inch. It doesn't mean I won't make her move though. I will make her face red with anger, envy and everything in between. Oh no, not enough; I have to torment her so much she will not dare call out my dog again.
So I started a blog about it, very honest in my introduction too.
For the support of my dog getting his love, let's make my neighbour give in.
Not the catchiest thing to call a blog but what to say, I was mad and drank a couple of cocktails in the morning yet it surprisingly caught on. I planned parties and events too in the name of my dog searching for love, you could call them speed dating for my dog.
Yes, having too much money can be a vice. Too much money and not enough to spend it on, just last week; it was the first speed dating.
Her poor poodle, it has to watch on as I matchmake mine with other poodles their owners don't look at me like I'm harbinger of hell. I want a healthy co in-law relationship.
Did I mention I have too much time on my hands and not to mess with me?
My glass is half empty, I need to refill.
Today, I'm hosting yet another get together but this one is different, this one;
What new things did you find this week?
I was in a bind thinking my next appointment was too far away to show off this dress I bought during the week and walla, didn't I create a blog just to spite my neighbour?
If only my neighbour fell on the category of what to buy. Would I have to go through all this? I had to meet the elusive husband, I think he's the key to solving his wife's naggy attitude.
"Trent, handsome here's looking for you." Trust Margaret to shout and holler in a fancy outfit. What would I do without her?
Off topic. Handsome? I liked handsome the most. Handsome makes me feel giddy and womanly. Who didn't like that?
"Yes?" Handsome he is but hmm, I don't feel giddy at all. No, I just want to get it over with. Maybe I'm coming down with something, it has been hectic lately. I do not do conflict and anger well, my poor nails and skin. The horror.
"I live next door, I'm Johan Tilli. My wife is..."
"The woman who said my poodle kidnapped hers. Come on in..." Ty is such an obedient poodle, how dare that woman accuse him of being a seductor?
"No, no, no. That's alright. If you could lower the noise, my wife and I are trying to sleep."
Huh, did I hear that right? He came for noise complaint? From his house to mine where he had to drive to get here and the soundproof system my dad gave me hell to install?
I couldn't believe it, apparently Margaret couldn't either.
"Handsome, your house is quite the walk to here. Unless you and your wife have super amazing hearing, I don't see how we could be causing a disturbance. There's barely anyone here."
She wasn't wrong, our parties usually had hundred people a minimum and tonight merely sixty could make it. This pair of husband and wife...