"At some point, you have to realize that some people can only stay in your heart but not in your life and you could only cherish them from afar."
And I did too...
"Let's never meet again." I firmly declared acting strong, looking at the man whom I loved the most.
''What?'' He looked at me with shock in his eyes, silently pleading me to deny it.
"I was thoughtless. I did not realize how our meeting, our actions, our choices wouldn't only hurt us and the people around but will be the downfall of two empires too. Now that I have already witnessed the result of our actions and mine selfishness, I can't do it anymore." I explained.
"Enough Aye stop it! Let's sit somewhere and talk.'' Before I could continue he spoke in a shaky voice that shall haunt me my whole life as he came closer to me but I stepped back not willing to give in.
"No! We have come too far from the phase of talking, nothing we try to do together works anyway. It just worsens everything," I denied. In my heart, I might never be able to forgive myself for what I am saying to him but it is for the best.
''Everything before our meeting was fine at least for people around us if I leave him everything will be back to the normal right!'' I thought while trying to convince myself while digging my nails into my palms, knowing very well that it will only bring pain to us without even looking at him.
''I won't let you go, Aye''he proclaimed taking hold of my arm and squeezing it. The guards came forth but I signaled them to stop.
''Axel you can't stop me today'' I stated. I knew he was determined to stop me but at the same time, he was very weak. I wanted to protect his weakness but I ended up using it.
''Don't test me Aysa'' he warned sternly.
'' Axel don't make it harder. It's already too hard for me'' I thought in my heart.'' After everything I witnessed I can't just keep on going, I just can't.'' I admitted sadly.
"Aye stop it! You know it is not our fault please stop" he pleaded softly.
''It is Axel, you saw everything too and still you are acting like this'' I ranted with tears in my eyes.''Coming here and meeting you was my biggest happiness but now it's my biggest regret'' I heartlessly lied. It took me every last ounce of my courage to not burst into tears looking at his glassy eyes. I shook my head "I-I sincerely wish that I-I had never met you that day, I wish I never had loved you. Meeting and loving you was a mistake, "speaking firmly.
He looked at me with hurt "Lies! Stop lying Aye," he demanded weakly as if my every word was draining him.
"No, I am not lying. I am stating the truth" I denied it. ''It was a mistake which I don't want to repeat'' I stated looking straight in his eyes. He looked at me in denial, his eyes brimmed with tears and his voice not uttering a word but I ignored his vulnerable condition and firmly looked at him.
He tightened his grip on my arm, "don't do this to me, to us; Aye I-I won't be able to live without you please!" as he pleaded like a child. I swayed my head while clawing my hands to suppress me from crying. "If I stay nothing good would happen. Everything would just worsen up. We were delusional, and our love was ill-fated and was a mistake." I took a huge breath and resumed, "ill-fated relation is bound to end and mistakes are bound to be amended so, let me go" he looked at me with disbelief and denial.
He let his grip loosen on me, madly suppressing the desperate urge to hold on to his hands. I looked at him for the last time as I turned to walk away from him, but his grip on my arms tightened. His voice was unsteady, he took a breath to control himself "Aye d-do you regret encountering me and loving me this much?" he questioned hesitantly.
I stayed still for a moment; I wanted to scream at our situation. I loved him and wanted to protect him but in the process, I ended up causing him more pain. Tears finally escaped my eyes as he looked at my cold back for an answer. Not possessing the heart to look at him this time. "Yes! I regret it" I heartlessly replied with my back opposing him. He still did not make a move to leave me, so I shook his hand off me "therefore forget me.''
I had done it. I had finally wounded him. I moved away from him with a bursting hurting heart although I was the one who hurt him but why do I feel overwhelming pain in my heart which grew with every step I took away from him.
Suddenly I heard him talking. "I know things are hard, and that's the only reason why I won't cease you instead I'll wait for you no matter how long but I will so, please come back to me Aye, please."
At the last moment, I turned and looked at him for the last time "Don't because I won't be coming back again." I spat as harshly as I could before I turned and started walking as fast as my feet could escort me. My eyes finally betraying me, tears cascaded down my face but I kept on moving until I was away from him and got on my plane.
I kept on crying and sobbing, wondering where we went wrong though I already know it isn't us that went wrong but the circumstances.
I shakily said to thin air,
''Sorry I lied again, I don't regret loving you and you shall never know it. If only we met differently than we could have been together if only we were ordinary people"