Loving yourself is the only way through...
OK so let's start it with a happy face.
"Hello , my name is Shagun. " I said to the world I faced. I lived with my parents , younger brother and elderly sister in a house which my parents had built with hard work. I was born with my big dreams to a small family. I always dreamt of the luxuries, lovable life but not had that. Being a girl is a challenge to face,... be it a fight with your emotions, body and life.
OK... I am writing this so that I could shred my heavy heart as I have told in earlier chapter.
Since my school time I had no friends .I wanted to make but I couldn't because they never matched my expectations. Now you guys will think that was I that much perfect that I needed a friend matching to my standards. No.Not at all, it was just that I needed someone with whom I can laugh , share my things and feel relaxed. I always had a strong feeling deep in my heart that sooner or later I will achieve that. In my early schooling I remember a glimpse of my granny taking me home from school, that's it. I don't have much more memories of her as she left us early because she was suffering from lung cancer.
I was a studious student as I always wanted to achieve good in my life.My aim was to achieve a special thing which I will describe later. I always told myself that I have to keep myself firm and determined as I have nobody close to me.
Whenever I had any arguments with my family or someone, I kept myself quiet and never wanted to explain my mind because I was hurt and if I will talk my eyes will shred my feelings more as compare to my mouth. Being quiet is much better as it hurts only me and not other person as I have never thought of hurting someone even in my dreams. I loved dancing and writing since my childhood but never famed myself for these things. Dancing in a closed room and writing in my notebook regarding me, my day and my heart were the things I was supposed to do.
"Shagun, you have been sent in this world for a reason, God made you even though you were not needed, you know why ? ....You will know it sooner or later. Ending it is not a reason because nobody is going to be affected by this except you. So put a fake smile on your face since you are not actually happy until you got to know the reason why God sent you.... And let's begin it. ", were the thoughts came to mind.
I am not yet sorted with the mess I have spread in people's life . May be I am not yet able to do the task of God as I am unaware of this......