Every person in his / her life goes through a phase where he can't express himself even though he wanted to. I was also in the same phase today. I wanted to talk but my mind and heart were thinking different. I was all alone though I never wanted to me. I made myself busy in the inappropriate things so that I couldn't think of the thoughts fluctuating in my mind and engulfing it for no reason.
I was studying hard as my exams were three days far, so I wanted to give my best but I couldn't concentrate because the flash from the past was haunting me. In this alone room I had no body to talk, my soul had entered into a very tough zone and a thought of pleading God for taking me away with him was wandering in the mind. The more I started distracting myself, the more I became shallow from inside." Oh God, it is so hard ", I said this to myself. Is this what I am going to get for the entire of my life, please give me the courage- the strength to learn my lessons so that I could distract myself but the thoughts pondered in my mind like a storm and they wanted me to shred myself out because the mind was overfilled and might possibly it was not able to take more. I wanted to cry, wanted to let flow myself out from those emotions but I couldn't. I kept my books aside, listened to some good music but even it did not worked.. I wanted to sleep but I couldn't. I was lying on my bed as a shallow body who was just watching the moving fan on the ceiling and counting the days she will have to spend alone. A drop of a tear skipped from my eyes........
saying that please shagun I desperately wanted to come out because I am in you since many days, let all my friends come out as well because we are feeling caged in you. I was talking to myself without operating my lips and taking deep breathe.... That flash from the past to the life of future were the things tensing me and I was gathering the courage to deal with all of them. Sometimes it is really hard for us to deal with our loneliness and this loneliness leads to numerous complications in life physically, mentally and emotionally. It hurts..... it really hurts. But I always thought that a day for my happiness will surely come and a day with new sunshine will take me to meet new challenges as well.