I had learnt from my subjects to be happy no matter what the situation is to make myself disease free. I wanted to never react regardless what the situation is. Every single day in the morning I woke up with a dull feeling of not having anything in this life. No reason to laugh, to get success and to worry.
" Life is such a mess"... always this connotation came to my mind.
I wanted to love but I couldn't. .....
I wanted to laugh but I couldn't...
I wanted to live but I couldn't....
I was tired of all this and always thought of ending it smoothly. But there was only one thing which stopped was the spirit in me to prove myself. I had entered to my early teens ,
the most crucial phase of everybody's life where everything starts changing, our mind starts taking us to the different sites of this world. Our starts raising us to maturity.
I had started losing people as their intentions of being a friend were unclear.
Everytime I sat alone I thought was this me?... Shagun... was this God had kept for me? ... was I supposed to be alone? ...
I was totally at a sudden immense left alone to hell. I controlled my self to be the calm person and had no talk to people though I was always wanted to but stopped myself thinking that I wasn't needed to them..... as to my family.
I am writing this to shred the sorrow, hate, anger, happiness, love filled in my mind and heart for many years. This will be my life from my early teens to late teens..