"There are days when I really hate this world…" I muttered in frustration, making weird, elaborate maneuvers with my fork.
I totally refuse to lose this battle.
I won't lie. There were things about this place I found incredible. Like leveling up, or people having classes (warrior, mage, thief, or paladin like me). Not to mention using special skills or going on adventures with your party to hunt monsters and then getting a generous sum of money as a reward for it.
A life straight out of a video game. As absurd as it sounds.
Who wouldn't want to spend their days like that? Having adventures and getting paid for completing quests.
Screw working ten hours a day for a tyrannical boss who only knows how to yell orders all day!
However, as great as it may seem on the surface (especially when you're busy living the average hikikomori dream), the adventurer life also had serious downsides.
Something I learned shortly after arriving in this world.
Don't even think you're getting away after what I paid for you…
For starters, while it's true you could make a living just by doing quests, those quests could cost you your life if you weren't well prepared. Because to complete mid or high-level quests (the ones that actually pay well), having good equipment is practically mandatory.
And I'm not just talking about weapons and armor, but inventory too.
To survive battles against high-level monsters, you needed to carry a good number of potions.
Then there was the matter of special skills.
Yes. Having these powers (so to speak) and using them to annihilate your enemies on the battlefield was satisfying. However, these skills had a cost that directly affected the user's body. Because the "fuel" to use them was none other than one's own life energy — what is known here as "mana points" (or MP).
And while it's true you can restore those points with special potions, those potions weren't exactly cheap.
Sometimes I wondered why most adventurers chose to stay in a beginner city like Axel instead of seeking new challenges, even after reaching a high level.
The answer was that the cost of living in this world was quite high. So many preferred to stay here and simply live day by day.
Like the members of my old party.
Almost… almost… just a little more…
Not to mention, of course, that famous establishment run by succubus. Its popularity had grown so much that it was said to be the real reason most male adventurers refused to leave.
It was a strange world, I won't deny it. But little by little I was getting used to its quirks.
Or at least most of them.
Because one thing I still couldn't get over was the fact that vegetables in this world… were alive.
Yes, I know it sounds completely insane, but it's true.
Whether carrots, tomatoes, lettuce, or cabbages — once the vegetable was served on your plate, you had to be quick to stab it with your fork, or there was a very good chance the food would escape before you could eat it.
Which was exactly what was happening to me right now!
More than forty minutes had passed since the waitress brought my food to the table, and I had been fighting with a potato that simply refused to be eaten.
"Aaarrrgh! Stupid potato! It's time for you to fulfill your duty as food and get into my goddamn mouth already!"
Yes. I was talking to a vegetable. Pathetic.
I understand that under normal circumstances most people would think I was crazy. But like I said, in this world some foods were alive. And the clear proof was right in front of me — that rebellious potato that kept rolling toward the edge of the plate every time I tried to stab it with my fork.
At that moment, the guild doors burst open.
When I looked up to see what had caused such a commotion, my eyes met a familiar blue-haired head. It swayed elegantly from the wind coming in from outside.
The newcomer quickly began scanning the area with urgency, turning her head from side to side like a police officer looking for an escaped prisoner.
Until suddenly her dazzling blue eyes met mine.
"Ah! There you are!" she exclaimed.
Not understanding what was going on, I simply stayed seated and watched as the woman strode between the tables, not caring in the slightest if she bumped into anyone.
When she reached my table, she slammed both hands on the surface and leaned forward. This caused her breasts to bounce slightly beneath her blue vest.
"Can I ask what's wrong with you?" I asked, still struggling with the insolent potato.
Aqua didn't answer right away. She paused for a moment. Her breathing was somewhat labored, and judging by the way her chest rose and fell, she had run all the way to the guild.
"I've been feeling awful since last night. And it's ALL, ALL your fault!"
"Calm down a bit, will you?" I said in a low voice. I glanced discreetly to the sides and saw that several people had turned their heads toward us. "I don't know what the hell got into you now, but in case you haven't noticed, I'm trying to eat."
Ignoring my words, the goddess simply grabbed the potato I had been trying to catch for the last forty minutes and popped it into her mouth, devouring it in seconds. Then she grabbed the half-full mug of beer I had ordered to go with the food and downed it in one gulp.
She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and let out a satisfied sigh.
"Arrghhh! There's no helping it!" she started. "This heat in my body won't go away no matter what! Can you tell me what exactly you did to me?"
"Huh? What are you talking about?"
"What else could I be talking about!?" Aqua shrieked. "I'm talking about all those perverted things you made me do in the bath last night!"
What I made her do?
More and more eyes were turning in my direction. Even the waitress (who had probably come over to see if I wanted anything else) froze when she heard Aqua's words. At first, she looked like she had entered some kind of trance, then her expression twisted into complete horror.
When she realized I was also looking at her, the girl quickly turned around and started acting like she had the wrong table.
"Oh my god, that guy is a degenerate," I heard someone say behind me.
"We'd better be careful, girls," another young woman said.
And honestly, I couldn't blame them. I myself started feeling my cheeks burn with embarrassment.
And the worst part was that the idiot didn't even seem to realize the scene she was causing in the middle of the guild.
"I demand that you tell me right this instant what you did to me last night to leave me in this state, you perverted hikiNET!"
"Aqua, why don't we talk in private?"
"I even…" she continued, not listening to a single word I said, "I even did that thing you did with your fingers and it still didn't work!"
Oh, earth, please swallow me whole.