Shock flashes across Ellie's face. Her eyes go wide and she grabs Dosu by the arm, half guiding him to the sofa in the sitting room. She shoves him down onto the cushions and whirls back to me, her expression twisted with disbelief.
"My God, Eli," she snaps, shaking her head like she can't decide whether to scream or laugh. "Are you insane? What the hell was that for?"
Dosu groans under his breath. The sound is low and rough, like it hurts to even breathe. His hand comes up to his nose, and when he pulls it away there's blood on his fingers. Not a lot. Just enough to make my jaw tighten.
Not enough. I should've hit him harder. I should've kept going but Ellie stepped in before I could do a damn thing.
"I… fuck," Dosu mutters, blinking hard like he's trying to clear his head. His gaze slides past Ellie and lands right on me. "Is he your twin? The one you said you wanted me to meet?"
I barely hear him, everything inside me feels numb and burning at the same time. My hands are still shaking, my whole body trembling with a kind of anger that crawls under my skin and refuses to leave.
Ellie is talking. I know she is but it's all distant noise, like someone turned the volume down because I'm not looking at her.
I'm staring at Dosu and he's staring right back, harder than before.
There's something ugly in his expression and I hate that it's recognition. Maybe even the same fury twisting in my chest.
God, I hate that look.
His lip curls slightly, like he remembers exactly why I I am so mad, like every bad memory just lined up between us.
My fists clench again. The room feels too small.
Ellie takes a look at Dosu's nose, still ranting, still asking questions neither of us bother answering. "Eli, seriously, what is wrong with you? You just walked in and punched him!"
But I can't answer her because the only thing in my head is the way Dosu is looking at me, like he wants to get up from that sofa and hit me back and the worst part, I kind of wish he would. Just so I'd have an excuse to break his nose for real this time.
That night crashes back into my head without warning. One second I'm standing in Ellie's living room, the next I'm somewhere else entirely.
I'm on my back again. Panting. I've never panted like that before. I was pinned beneath him.
My hands trapped above my head, his weight pressing me into the mattress like I belong there. Like I'm not going anywhere. His breath is hot against my neck, his mouth right by my ear. I remember the way his tongue brushed my earlobe, before he pulled it between his lips.
He'd hummed softly when he did it. Like he liked the sound I made. His hips had shifted then, his erection dragging against mine through our jeans, in a slow teasing way.
I blink hard and the fucking memory shatters.
And suddenly I'm back in Ellie's living room, staring at the same damn face that ruined everything, that same mouth and eyes. Except now there's blood under his nose and shame flickering across his expression.
I start talking before the memory can finish replaying in my head, anything to shut it up.
"What the fuck is he doing here?" The words rip out of me, and it's in a ugly way.
Ellie stares at me like she can't believe what she's hearing.
"My God, Eli. Really?" Her voice rises, frustration spilling out. "You walk in here, punch my boyfriend, and the first thing you ask is what he's doing here?"
The word hits me like a slap. Boyfriend.
I stare at her. "This is your boyfriend?" Fucking smug, arrogant, dickhead motherfucker Dosu.
He shifts on the sofa like he's about to stand, jaw tightening as he looks at me. For a second I think he's going to come at me. Part of me almost hopes he does.
But Ellie pushes him back down immediately.
"Forget about that," she says, grabbing his shoulder before he can get up. "You're bleeding too much."
She hurries off to the kitchen, leaving a tense silence hanging in the room. Dosu and I stare at each other the entire time she's gone and neither of us looks away.
My fists clench again. His eyes narrow.
Ellie comes back with a handful of tissues and crouches beside him. "Hold still," she mutters, helping him tilt his head back. She presses the tissue under his nose, wiping away the blood with careful movements.
Then she glances up at me, confusion written all over her face.
"Eli, what's going on?" she asks slowly. "I know you two go to the same uni, and I was really excited about you two meeting but… do you actually know each other?"
For a second neither of us answers.
Then Dosu speaks.
"Yeah," he says, voice rough. His eyes never leave mine. "Kinda."
My stomach twists.
"We've met before," he added.
Ellie exhales sharply, looking between us. "Well, obviously it didn't end well, did it?" She throws her hands up, clearly losing patience. "God, Eli. I've been waiting weeks for you to come visit, and you show up like this, punching people and acting like you forgot how to speak."
"Is he sleeping here?" The moment the words leave my mouth, I know it's the wrong thing to say.
Ellie's eyes snap to mine. Her whole face tightens like she's two seconds away from throwing something at my head.
Yeah. That definitely didn't help.
I bite down on my tongue before anything worse can come out. My pulse is still hammering in my ears, but I force myself to breathe slower. In. Out. Like if I just get my heart under control, maybe the room will stop spinning.
God, I want out of here.
I want to walk straight back out that door, order another Uber, and disappear. I'd even flirt with the driver if that's what it took to make the ride faster away from here.
Anything to get the hell away from this living room.
Because there is no way, absolutely no way, Dosu can be my sister's boyfriend. Not after what happened. No chance in hell.
"Honestly, I didn't even expect this level of childishness from you." Her glare burns straight through me. "Guys fight," she continues, shaking her head. "It happens. It's fucking normal. Stop acting like a baby."
My jaw tightens.
"Ellie," I say slowly, forcing the words through my teeth, "does he stay here? Because if he does, I swear I cannot stay here."
Dosu answers. "No. I—my parents live in town," he adds, glancing sideways before looking back at me. "You don't have to run again."
The words land like a punch. Run again. I feel my face go cold. There's something in his eyes when he says it. Shame, maybe. Or regret. Something heavy that sits there for half a second before he hides it.
But all it does is make the anger inside me flare hotter.
I stare at him, every ounce of contempt I have rising to the surface. Run again? The audacity of this asshole. My hands curl into fists at my sides. He doesn't know shit about running. Not a damn thing so fuck him.
Fuck his stupid brown eyes that look like a bowl of melted chocolate ice cream when the light hits them.
Fuck his perfect blond hair that somehow always falls back the same way, like he wakes up looking like that without even trying.
And fuck the way my brain still remembers exactly what he felt like on top of me.
"I wasn't fucking talking to you," I say, each word spaced out.
Dosu lets out a slow breath, like he's the reasonable one here. One would think I'm the problem.
"Bro, relax," he says, shaking his head.
The casual tone makes something snap inside me.
"You want me to fucking punch you in the mouth?" I ask, curling my lips into something that dares him to try me.
Ellie stiffens between us, but Dosu doesn't back down.
The veins in his neck stand out as he pushes himself to his feet. He's taller than Ellie and I by a lot, and when he stands like that he almost towers over her. His shoulders square, jaw tight, eyes locked on mine.
"You really want to do that?" he says, voice dropping. "Because I'm so ready."
He takes a step forward.
"You know I'll fucking take you. I don't know why the hell you can't calm the fuck down."
The room feels like it's about to explode.
For months I haven't been able to think straight. Haven't been able to sleep. Every time I close my eyes the same memories crawl back in. My chest burns with anger that never goes away, like it's running through my veins instead of blood.
My whole life has felt like it's been locked in chains since that night and now he's here, standing in my sister's living room.
My nostrils flare and my hands shake.
"Can you guys just relax?" Ellie finally snaps, stepping between us and pushing a hand against Dosu's chest. "Eli, please. Just go to the room. It's the one on the left."
Neither of us moves at first.
Then Dosu exhales again, like he's tired of this whole thing.
"I'll leave. Can't deal with this," he says quietly. "See you later."
He's still holding the tissue under his nose when he turns toward the front door. But before he moves, his eyes slide back to me.
Ellie leans up on her toes and presses a quick kiss to his cheek.
"I'm really sorry about him," she murmurs. "I'll call you?"
Dosu nods once. Then he looks at me again.
For a few long, strained seconds we just glare at each other. The same ugly tension hangs there, thick and suffocating, like one wrong word will set everything off again.
Finally he walks past me, close enough that I can feel the heat of him.
The door opens and silence drops over the room.
I stare at the door, my chest still rising and falling hard.
What the fucking hell was that?