It was a deeper understanding of my body, of my essence, and of myself.
So, that is why he called it layers...
'Now let's redirect it to stop your curse.'
'...'
'Yes... let's do it.'
'I mentioned the source before, where do you think it's located?'
'Uhm... somewhere around my gut?'
'No, think—what is essence, and what do you think happens if it gets destroyed?'
'You'll die?'
'Exactly, and people won't die instantly from getting their gut destroyed right?'
'Yes... it isn't there then...'
'So, when the source gets destroyed you die...'
'Is it the head?'
'Yes, it's the same as your core, it doesn't exist in a physical sense, but beyond that. The source is not just where your essence resides, it resides alongside the self.'
'Like you said before—essence, and the self are one.'
'And the curse will be there as well.'
'So I need to flow my essence to the curse right?'
'Good job, I'm glad you could understand it yourself, you have great teacher...'
I just stayed silent, doing everything to keep my own focus.
'...how can I find my curse?'
'You should be able to do it easily—after all, it's part of you.'
'Okay, I'll try it.'
This is the first time I'll get to see my source.
The source is in my head, so I just need to sense it there.
I closed my eyes, erasing everything around me as I tried to fall into a deeper focus,
Nothing changed... I just can't see my senses activated... I climbed up the path that led to my core.
It was a strange feeling—it felt aimless, but I knew I was approaching the source
Suddenly I fell through a vacuum.
I didn't hear any sounds as I landed, sucked into it.
As I opened my eyes back up, I saw where I was.
A pool of water—a bottomless one, pure darkness was all that lingered beneath me.
Is that the curse?!
'No, you're in an essence source.'
'Leave this place.'
'Okay... I don't like the feeling this place gives me either.'
I swam upwards, but no matter how much I swung my arms around, the surface did not draw nearer—but neither did I drown.
Does everything work differently here?
With that thought I fell on back on the soft, but solid ground—the properties of my essence had changed.
"I'm dry as well..."
As I lifted my head, what laid in front of me was scenery I recognized.
"Isn't this from that dream... before we left Kage..."
I lifted myself up, and walked around,
It still feels the same. I lifted my hand up in the air, spreading my fingers wide letting the wind pass through them,
"The breeze does feel stronger."
I lowered my hand, and held my chin,
"Where can I find that curse?"
"Just searching I guess—" I looked back into the far distance, and remembered how much I found last time I was here.
"How can I be quicker..."
I started jumping up, while I flapped my arms around.
My arms were getting tired, lowering them back to my side.
"I can't fly the—"
"Huh?"
I couldn't feel the ground underneath me, as my shadow covered the blades of grass.
"Ah! I can..." I couldn't hold my smile back as I soared through the air.
"I just know that Mim would love this."
I went at a speed faster than I had ever gone before, everything beneath me was a blur, but it was silent, I couldn't even feel the wind cut my skin—it all felt normal.
But no matter how long I flew, nothing came into sight.
'You know this is the reflection of the self.'
'It shows you.'
'Wait, you could have told me from the start?!'
'Uhm... I had hoped you would understand it by yourself...'
"Sigh..." I lowered my body back to the ground below me.
'So I just need to picture the curse?'
'Yes, but remember this world—this is the world of your 'self'.'
'...'
'I'll go now.'
I tried to picture the curse in front of me, and walked forward.
"Uh..."
Nothing happened.
What is the curse even supposed to look like—
Wait, what do I see this curse as? I closed my eyes, and took a deep breath.
Mom... dad... I took a step forward.
"What?!"
A change happened—the area I walked into vanished, making me open my eyes back up.
The entire scenery surrounding me changed.
It was a strange scenery.
An inconceivable scenery—one that did not belong to me.
That was when I knew it,
This is the curse.
It was a place clad in dark, with strange sounds that filled the entire space—a space that went further than my eyes could see—it sounded aimed at me as if something spoke to me.
It was an incompressible noise—one similar to Arih's words, and the letters written on my clothes.
What even is this curse...?
'T, can you hear me?'
'...'
He wouldn't stay silent... did he not come with me? But he was with me in the previous area...
I took a long breath,
I won't understand it either way.
I reached for my waist, unable to control the shivers I felt in this place, but nothing was there.
I bit softly into my lower lip,
"I just need to bring my essence here..." My voice echoed back—even in this horizonless space.
I pictured the way my core pumped the essence through my body, and recreated it.
"Wait—how?" Nothing happened.
I guess it's different from controlling my core... I started tapping my foot on the ground.
I would have loved for T to be here...
Maybe if I picture my objective...
And as soon as I did that the space filled with a blinding light—a light brighter than I had ever seen.
It's indeed beautiful, T.
Flames appeared underneath my feet, but it felt pleasant to the touch—like a warm embrace I had known before.
Smoke rose from beneath my feet, as colors started filling my world again.
The sounds were slowly disappearing, until only two things were left—
My world and me.
"How can I go back... the real world had been drowned away, but my eyes were already open."
I put my arms on the ground next to me as the gravel pricked into my palms, leaving marks on them as I lifted myself up.
Did the curse disappear... I was trembling, fighting the urge to just close my eyes, and lead myself back to my room.
But I took another step forward.
Until I reached the city street, where people were still stumbling around as they screamed gibberish underneath the night sky.
I took multiple breaths, as I looked down at my feet.
I clenched my eyes closed as I lifted my head up.
"I-I can... read it all... all of it." I muttered to myself as I opened my eyes.
My view got blurred as the letters reached my eyes, but I could see it all.
Even when some things were unreadable, I could still see it.
That is a foreign language, isn't it?
I looked up to the board of the inn we stayed at, it had multiple things written on it, but I could only understand one part,
"The ocean's dream..."
Ocean? Isn't that the big lake thing? I could remember my mother mentioning it at the lake.
It was something out of my world—a lake with no end.
'Are you there, T?'
'Yes, don't worry—I'm still here.'
'I'm glad... I couldn't hear you when I was with the curse.'
'Yes, it's strange isn't it... but neither do I know why that happened.'
'I'm truly happy for you, Tjer. It will all work out.'
'Thank yo—'
"Hooah..." It was a long yawn that came out as my eyes felt heavy.
'It's still dark... so you should go back to sleep.'
'I think so as well... have a good night.'
'Sleep well, kid...'
I climbed up the stairs, and crept underneath my blanket.
Not a moment went by before my eyes fell shut—pulling me into deep dreams.
"It truly makes me glad to talk to you again, Tjer"
"You should remember more of this dream now that our connection has strengthened."
"..."
"You won't be able to respond—yet."
"You were able to make use of me, it truly makes me satisfied. You did it on your own this time, you are incredible."
It continued talked afterwards, but I couldn't remember anything of it, I am not even sure whether I could hear it.
"My apologies for not being able to help you—I truly care for you, Tjer."
"So please, live a long life."
"Live long enough for us to meet, and for me to truly support you."
"Please take care. But don't worry, when you reach me, we will be able to have a truly honest conversation."
"So sleep well, and have nice dreams, and I hope to speak to you soon, Tjer."