At this age, boys rarely possessed the actual courage to propose to a girl face-to-face without a middleman. And when that girl was Alex Dunphy—a girl who could mathematically dismantle their self-esteem in three sentences—approaching her directly was basically a suicide mission.
Seeing that I wasn't going to help them, and lacking the courage to approach the bleachers, the boys took one last, longing glance at Alex.
"Whatever, man. See you Monday," Kevin mumbled. They quickly dispersed, heading toward the bus loop.
I chuckled softly, shaking my head, and walked over to the bleachers.
Alex heard my footsteps approaching. She marked her page with a bright yellow sticky note, closed her heavy book, and stood up. She noticed that I was alone, and she had clearly seen the boys awkwardly scattering away from me.
"Um... did something happen over there?" Alex asked, looking at the retreating figures with a hint of suspicion. "Did you get into an argument with your teammates already?"
"Nah," I replied casually, slinging my blue backpack over my shoulder. "Just dealing with a severe case of teenage hormones. They were checking you out."
Alex froze.
The color instantly drained from her face, only to be replaced by a glowing red blush that spread from her cheeks all the way to the tips of her ears. For a girl with a genius-level IQ, her emotional intelligence regarding boys was sitting at a solid zero. She had never had a boyfriend, and the idea of being the subject of locker-room crushes completely short-circuited her brain.
"Wh... what?!" Alex stammered, her voice pitching up an octave. She aggressively pushed her glasses up her nose, looking incredibly flustered and embarrassed. "They were... what? That's... I don't even know..."
I just smiled lazily at her panicked reaction and started walking past her, heading toward the bike racks where my pink chariot was parked. As usual on afternoons, Claire would pull up in the silver minivan to pick Alex up while I rode my bike home.
I heard the rapid patter of Alex's footsteps hurrying to catch up with me. Her curiosity had easily overpowered her embarrassment.
"Wait, Luke, hold on," Alex demanded, walking right beside me. "Then... what exactly did they ask about me? What did you tell them? How did you react?"
"Oh, it was just the usual desperate battering," I replied nonchalantly, keeping my eyes forward. "They were asking me to introduce them to you. Then came the endless flattering—how you are so beautiful, how smart you are, so on and so on. They offered to bribe me with lunch."
Alex's blush deepened. She looked down at the concrete sidewalk, her fingers tightly gripping the edge of her book.
"I sometimes feel like it's really strange," I continued, glancing at her. "But then I think about it, and it's completely normal. You're a smart, pretty girl. Any boy with functioning eyes would feel that way eventually. You just intimidate them too much for them to actually say it to your face."
Alex didn't say anything to that. She just walked beside me in stunned silence, clearly processing the massive ego boost I had just casually handed her.
We reached the bike racks. I unlocked the bright pink bicycle, the silver tassels glittering in the afternoon light. I grabbed the handlebars and turned around, fully expecting Alex to walk away toward the drop-off lane to wait for Claire's minivan.
Instead, she stood right next to the bike. She reached out and awkwardly grabbed the metal rear rack positioned over the back tire.
I blinked, thoroughly surprised.
"Hmm... what are you doing?" I asked, looking around the empty parking lot. "Where is Mom? Isn't she coming to pick you up? Are you actually trying to ride on the back of this thing?"
Alex suddenly seemed to snap out of her flustered daze. She smacked her forehead lightly with her palm, a cute, highly exasperated gesture.
"Oh! I completely forgot to tell you because you distracted me with that hormone talk," Alex said quickly. "Mom isn't coming. Actually, Grandma DeDe arrived at the house a few minutes ago. Unannounced."
My eyes widened. The final boss had arrived.
"She called my phone," Alex continued, her voice laced with the impending dread that only Grandma DeDe could inspire.
"She said she wanted to 'surprise' everyone before the wedding tomorrow. Uncle Mitchell and Uncle Cam are also there trying to run interference. Mom is currently having a full-blown panic attack trying to entertain the guests, so she told me to just ride home with you."
I nodded slowly, the timeline clicking into place in my head. Right. Tomorrow is September 1st. Grandpa Jay and his Columbian bride wedding day. Which means tonight is the chaotic family gathering.
"So much for a relaxing Friday evening," I sighed heavily.
I looked at the pink bicycle, then at Alex. It was designed for one person, but the rear metal rack was sturdy enough to hold a passenger if they had decent balance.
"Okay, then. Hop on," I gestured to the back rack. "But don't fall off, and hold onto me tightly. This bike is exactly like Haley... it chatters a lot, it squeaks constantly, and it's highly unstable."
Alex actually giggled at the joke, the tension of the impending family drama breaking for a brief second.
She carefully placed her heavy backpack into the front white wicker basket to balance the weight. Then, she turned around and gently sat side-saddle on the metal rear rack, making sure her plaid skirt was secure. She hesitantly reached forward, wrapping her arms loosely around my waist to anchor herself.
"Ready?" I asked.
"Just don't hit any massive potholes, please," she replied nervously.
I threw my leg over the main seat, planted my feet on the pedals, and pushed off.
Immediately, I could feel the massive difference in weight. The bike wobbled dangerously for the first three seconds, the tires groaning under the combined mass of two teenagers. My sore thighs screamed in protest as I forced the pedals down, battling the heavy resistance.
But as the wheels gained momentum, the wobbling stopped. The bike stabilized.
My week of grueling, exhausting stamina training suddenly paid off. A few days ago, I wouldn't have been able to pedal this heavy load past the school parking lot. But now, though my breathing was heavy, I found a steady, powerful rhythm.
"You're actually balancing pretty well," Alex commented from behind me, sounding mildly impressed over the rushing wind.
"I told you, I'm leveling up," I called back over my shoulder.
We cruised down the suburban streets, the squeaky pink chariot carrying us toward our house. The afternoon sun cast long, golden shadows across the pavement. It was a peaceful ride, but both of us knew exactly what was waiting for us at the end of it.
Grandma DeDe was inside our home. The storm had officially made landfall, and the Dunphy household was about to turn into an absolute warzone.