As we already knew, 12th had finally begun, and this year felt completely different from all the previous years. It wasn't just another class anymore—it was the most important phase of my life. This was the year that would decide my future.👩🏻⚕️
Months started passing quickly.
But this time, I wasn't the same person.
I had changed.
Now my only focus was one thing—**NEET**.🤯
There were no distractions, no unnecessary conversations, no wasting time. My days had become fully scheduled. Morning classes, self-study, revision, tests—everything was fixed. Slowly, I built a routine that revolved completely around my goal.
Waking up early, studying late at night, solving questions again and again, revising the same concepts multiple times—this had become my normal life.
Sometimes it felt tiring.
Sometimes I felt like giving up.
But every time I thought of stopping, I reminded myself—*this is my dream*. Not just mine, but also my parents'. And that thought pushed me forward again.
---
Days turned into weeks.
Weeks turned into months.
And slowly, I started noticing changes.
My concepts became clearer.
My speed improved.
My confidence… slowly started building.
Tests still had ups and downs, but now I was learning from my mistakes instead of getting stuck on them. I started understanding where I was going wrong and how to improve.
I wasn't perfect.
But I was better than before.
---
In between all this, life outside studies almost disappeared for me.
Festivals came and went.
People celebrated.
But I stayed in my room, with my books.
Not because I had to…
But because I wanted to.
Because now I knew what I was working for.
---
And somewhere in between all this…
that old part of my life…
him…
had faded.
Not completely gone.
But no longer important.
Now, when I thought about him, it didn't affect me like before.
It felt like a closed chapter.
A memory.
And maybe… that's how it was meant to be.
---
But as the exam came closer…
everything started changing again.
Only a few days were left for NEET.
And suddenly…
all the confidence I had built started shaking.
I started feeling nervous.
Restless.
Anxious.
Questions started coming in my mind—
*"What if I forget everything?"*
*"What if the paper is too hard?"*
*"What if I fail?"*
No matter how much I tried to stay calm, my mind kept overthinking.
My heart started feeling heavy.
Even while studying, I couldn't focus properly.
That fear… that pressure… it was real.
---
The last few days before the exam were the hardest.
I revised again and again.
Tried to stay positive.
But inside, I was scared.
Very scared.
Because this wasn't just an exam.
It was everything.
---
And then…
the day came.
NEET exam day.
---
That morning felt different.
Very quiet.
Very serious.
I got ready silently.
No excitement.
No overthinking.
Just… a strange calmness.
My parents wished me luck.
And I left for the exam center.
---
As I entered the center, I saw so many students.
Everyone like me.
Everyone with the same dream.
Everyone with the same fear.
For a moment, I felt small.
But then I took a deep breath and reminded myself—
*I have worked for this.*
---
I sat on my seat.
The paper came.
And for the next few hours…
everything else disappeared.
No past.
No future.
Just me and the paper.
---
When the exam ended…
I walked out slowly.
Not knowing what to feel.
Not knowing how it went.
Not knowing anything.
---
Because sometimes…
after giving your best…
you still don't know what the result will be.
---
I came home.
Everyone asked, "How was the paper?"
And I just said—
"It was… okay."
Because I myself didn't know the real answer.
---
That night…
I lay on my bed.
Staring at the ceiling.
Thinking about everything.
All those months.
All that hard work.
All those sacrifices.
---
And now…
everything depended on one result.
One day.
One moment.
---
But deep inside…
I had a strange feeling.
Something I couldn't explain.
Like…
something unexpected was about to happen.
Not just about the result…
But something more.
Something I never imagined.
---
And maybe…
that result…
was not just going to decide my career…
but also change something else in my life…
After coming back from the exam, even though everything was over, my mind didn't feel relaxed. In fact, it felt even more restless. It was strange—when I was preparing, I was waiting for the exam to get over, thinking that once it ends, I'll finally feel free. But now, after giving the exam, I realized that the real tension had just begun.
Because now…
I had no control.
Before this, I could study more, revise more, improve more. But now, everything was already done. Whatever I had written in those few hours… that was final. And that thought kept repeating in my mind again and again.🙃
I tried to distract myself. I picked up my phone, scrolled through random things, tried watching something, even tried talking to my friends. But nothing really helped. Every few minutes, my mind went back to the same questions—
*"Did I mark that answer correctly?"*
*"Should I have changed that option?"*
*"What if I made silly mistakes?"*
The more I thought, the more confused I became.
That night, I couldn't sleep properly. I kept replaying the paper in my mind, remembering questions, calculating answers mentally, trying to guess my score. Sometimes I felt like I did well… and the next moment, I felt like I messed up everything.
It was like my mind was playing games with me.😩
---
The next few days after the exam felt very different.
For the first time in months, I didn't have a fixed routine.
No classes.
No daily targets.
No pressure to study.
And yet…
I didn't feel happy.
I didn't feel free.
Because my mind was still stuck there… in that exam hall.
---
People around me started asking the same question again and again—
"How was your exam?"
And every time, I gave the same answer—
"It was okay."
Because honestly… I didn't know anything beyond that.
---
Slowly, answer keys started coming out.
Some of my friends started checking their scores.
They were discussing marks, ranks, cut-offs.
But I didn't have the courage to check mine.
I was scared.
Scared to know the truth.
Because somewhere inside, I felt that if the result didn't match my expectations… I wouldn't be able to handle it.
So I avoided it.
I stayed away from all those discussions.
I told myself, *"Whatever happens, I'll see it on the result day."*
---
Days passed slowly.
Each day felt longer than usual.
I tried to stay normal, tried to enjoy small things, tried to give my mind some rest after months of hard work.
But still…
there was always a thought at the back of my mind.
A constant reminder—
"Result."
---
Sometimes I sat quietly and thought about the entire journey.
From the day I decided to prepare seriously…
to all those sleepless nights…
to all the times I felt like giving up…
to all the moments I chose to stay strong.
It wasn't easy.
Not at all.
But I did it.
No matter what the result would be…
I knew one thing for sure—
I had tried.
I had given my best.
---
And maybe…
that was enough.
Or maybe…
it wasn't.
---
Because somewhere inside…
I still had expectations.
Dreams.
Hopes.
---
And now…
everything was standing on one point.
One result.
---
But along with that…
there was still that strange feeling.
That same feeling I couldn't explain.
Like something more was about to happen.
Something beyond marks.
Something beyond exams.
Something connected to my life in a way I didn't understand yet.
---
And as the result day started coming closer…
my heartbeat started increasing again.
That same nervousness.
That same fear.
But this time…
it felt different.
Heavier.
Deeper.
---
Because this wasn't just about success or failure anymore.
It felt like…
this result was going to open a new chapter of my life.
A chapter I wasn't ready for.
A chapter I never planned.
---
And I didn't know it yet…
but that one result…
was not just going to decide my future…
it was going to bring something back into my life…
something I thought I had already lost…
something I never expected to face again.
---
And maybe…
that was the real beginning of everything. 💫
.....