Kazuma stared suspiciously at the man in front of him, who called himself Sakata Gintoki.
A nap?
Was it really that simple?
Those dead fish eyes of his didn't even blink, and his tone was as flat as if he were saying, "Ah, I had pickled radish for breakfast today." The thickness of this guy's skin probably transcended the boundaries of biology.
Images flashed through Kazuma's mind: the humiliation of being filmed from every angle by hundreds of cell phones, his bath towel slipping off, and that vicious remark, "Is it a bit small?"
No, he absolutely could not tell him the truth.
In this invisible competition titled "Whose Transmigration Method is More Absurd," the dignity of Sato Kazuma would not allow him to let his pride shatter in front of someone else.
"Ahem."
Kazuma cleared his throat, trying hard to make his expression look equally nonchalant, even adding a touch of worldly-wise weariness.
"Me? I was in a sauna. You know, that small, hot room full of steam. I was enjoying it, then everything went black, and when I opened my eyes again, I was at that Times Square place. Maybe the temperature difference was too great, and space-time got warped."
After speaking, he nodded solemnly, as if providing evidence for his own scientific hypothesis.
Sakata Gintoki: "(lll￢ω￢) ---"
Sato Kazuma: "--- (￣_￣|||)"
An eerie silence fell over the church once again.
The two stared at each other; no emotion could be read in Gintoki's dead fish eyes, while Kazuma tried his best to maintain a composed expression.
One second.
Two seconds.
In the air, both men read everything in each other's eyes— "You're full of it, kid," and "Aren't you the same?"
They both knew that the other's experience was definitely not as calm as they claimed. One holding only clothes and a wooden sword, the other wrapped only in a bath towel—this was ironclad proof of a hasty escape from some extremely awkward, unspeakable emergency.
"Pfft."
"Heh."
Almost simultaneously, both turned their heads away and let out an ambiguous, dry laugh.
The laughter echoed in the empty church, sounding particularly abrupt and awkward.
Forget it, they were both fellow sufferers in this strange World; why make it hard for each other?
Gintoki couldn't be bothered to pursue it further. He shook out the clothes in his hands, stood up, and began to dress in the dim corner of the church as if no one were watching. First the loincloth, then the black top and pants, and finally, he draped that familiar white haori over his shoulders.
Once his body was covered by the clothes, that air of laziness and reliability finally returned to him.
Kazuma watched him get dressed, feeling a bit bitter. He wanted to wear clothes too! His only possession right now was this bath towel he'd brought from the other World, of an unknown brand.
"Hey, did you see that blue panel earlier too?" Kazuma couldn't help but ask. He was referring to the system that had announced their arrival and given him 20,000 Shame Points.
"Ah, I saw it." Gintoki replied casually while tying his belt.
"All this talk about Guardian Faction and Neutral Faction, it's like playing a game. By the way, that green shield of yours looks pretty sturdy."
"It's still better than that mediocre white scale of yours!" Kazuma retorted immediately.
Gintoki ignored him. He mimicked Kazuma's earlier gesture and swiped in the air. Sure enough, a translucent panel, identical to the one in front of him, appeared.
He poked it curiously and found it quite elastic.
"Bond Summoning ---" Gintoki read out the option that had piqued his interest and clicked on it.
The next second, a row of familiar avatars popped up, followed by a string of zeros that made his eyes swim.
[Kagura — — Reputation Points Required for Summoning: 5,000,000]
"Five million?!" Gintoki's eyes nearly popped out of his head.
"Are you kidding me! Why is that glutton who only knows how to eat so expensive! If I summon her, Gin-san will only be able to eat dog food for the rest of my life! No, I won't even be able to afford dog food!"
He continued to scroll down indignantly.
[Sadaharu — — Reputation Points Required for Summoning: 2,000,000]
"Two million?! A dog costs two million?! Is its dog food made of Universe Wagyu beef?!" Gintoki's roar echoed in the church, stirring up a cloud of dust.
Kazuma leaned over to take a look, silently retorting in his mind: These two companions of yours sound like they can eat more than the last.
Gintoki's finger continued to scroll down tremblingly, and then, he saw that name which could not be more familiar.
[Shimura Shinpachi — — Reputation Points Required for Summoning: 1,020,000]
"One million and twenty thousand ---" Gintoki muttered to himself. This price, while still astronomical, seemed... a bit more normal compared to the two money-eating monsters before?
No, that wasn't right. He noticed a small plus sign after the price and clicked it curiously.
A drop-down menu popped up, clearly stating: [Main Body (Glasses) — — 1,000,000] [Accessory (Shimura Shinpachi) — — 20,000]
"---" Time seemed to stand still in the church.
The expression on Gintoki's face shifted from confusion to shock, then to distortion, and finally — "Pfft — — Ahahahahahaha!!"
An earth-shattering burst of laughter exploded. Gintoki clutched his stomach, rolling on the bench in fits of laughter, tears streaming down his face.
"Glasses are one million! Shinpachi himself is only twenty thousand! Hahahaha! System, you really get it! This pricing is pure genius!"
"I can't take it, my stomach hurts — — Shinpachi, oh Shinpachi, do you see this? Your value isn't even a fraction of a pair of glasses! Hahahaha!"
Kazuma stared, dumbfounded, at this silver-haired natural perm who had been lifeless a second ago and was now laughing until he was about to have a seizure. His face clearly read, "Is this guy crazy?"
He leaned over curiously, and when he saw the price tags of "Main Body (Glasses)" and "Accessory (Human)" on the screen, his own mouth twitched uncontrollably.
Just how lacking in presence was this guy named Shinpachi to receive such an accurate and cruel evaluation from the system?
Then, thinking of his own teammates—a useless goddess, a blast-crazy mage, and a masochistic knight — Kazuma suddenly felt that he didn't really have the right to laugh at anyone else.
Just as Gintoki was laughing until he was almost out of breath, new notifications popped up on both of their system panels simultaneously.
[Player behavior detected: Conducting a "Two-Man Naked Art Tour" on the streets of New York, causing a larger-scale commotion and creating an extremely negative (sensational) social impact.]
[Neutral Faction player "Sakata Gintoki" gained Reputation Points: 10,000.] [Guardian Faction player "Sato Kazuma" gained Reputation Points: 3,000.]
Gintoki's laughter came to an abrupt halt. Kazuma's face instantly darkened.
"Wait a minute!" Kazuma pointed at the panel and issued a grief-stricken protest.
"Why does he get ten thousand and I only get three thousand?! This is unfair! I was a participant the whole time! In terms of contribution, I was no less involved than him! I even almost lost my bath towel!"
Gintoki glanced at Kazuma's exasperated appearance, looked at the 10,000 points on his own panel, lazily picked his nose, and said in a punchable tone:
"Probably... because I'm more dedicated. Look, I was completely naked, while you were still wearing a bath towel. This is called a difference in professional spirit, understand? Mr. Excalibur."
"You shameless natural perm!!" Kazuma jumped in anger. "If you hadn't sold me out, I wouldn't have had to run a second time!"
"You can't say it like that," Gintoki stood up and brushed the dust off his body.
"If it weren't for me, how would you have had the chance to experience the thrill of streaking in the center of the World and even earn three thousand points? You should be thanking me."
"Thank you my foot!"
AB