"With a voice like the fading edge of love's memory, shatter the rust-eaten old windows~"
Naruko's clear, delicate vocals carried "Blue Bird" through the venue's speakers, and under the white-haired fox spirit's song, the entire venue fell into a strange, reverent hush. Hardly a soul made a sound. All you could see were thousands of eyes tracking the figure singing her heart out onstage.
The melody shifted. The fox spirit Naruko played twirled into a graceful, faintly sorrowful turn and vanished backstage. Picking up exactly where she left off, a deeper, subtly magnetic male voice rose in her wake. Zuorin—played by Sasuke—stepped out from the opposite wing in a slow backward stride, the scenery behind him arranged so it looked as though he were falling.
"Even though I know we'll all come crashing down from the sky~"
The lyric landed with devastating precision. Zuorin embodied a mortal's helplessness—the inevitability of life running out and the soul tumbling back into the cycle of reincarnation.
Compared to Naruto's entrance, Sasuke drew a wall of screaming the instant he appeared. A tsunami of heart-eyed female fans, naturally—though there also appeared to be a handful of men whose primped-up styling made it pretty clear they were into him too.
"Hey~!! Do I seriously have to do this? Give me a break, will you?"
Ino had Shikamaru cornered at the edge of the stage, and he was begging for mercy. Ino, eyes locked on the stage, flashed him a wicked smile and slowly shook her head. "Words won't save you."
With that, she shoved. Shikamaru stumbled out onto the stage in his black oiran-style qipao, and riding the momentum of Ino's push, he managed a quick spin—though his entire being was screaming to just collapse right there. The consequences of going down, however, were too catastrophic to contemplate, so at the last possible instant he hauled his balance back from the brink.
The stumble didn't diminish Lady Higan's beauty in the slightest. If anything, it accentuated a fragile, willow-in-the-wind delicacy. The eyes trained on the stage burned several degrees hotter.
"I know I can find a way to break free~~"
Left with no choice, Shikamaru committed to the performance and sang his part. Where the fox spirit projected melancholy and Zuorin projected resignation, Lady Higan burned with defiance—a will to shatter the wheel of reincarnation. The three voices, each taking a section, carved the song's atmosphere and lyrics into vivid, distinct emotional arcs.
Down in the front row, the four Akatsuki members wore decidedly different expressions.
"Hmm~~ I did buy the original soundtrack tape, but the live version really does hit different. Hmm~!"
Deidara folded his arms in bliss after the song ended, savoring the moment. Hidan, seated beside him, muttered: "Sure, fine, but that girl just took your stuff without paying a single ryō. Aren't you two worried about getting scammed?"
"Art is priceless. She said so herself."
Sasori's reply was flat and unhurried. The puppeteer wasn't the least bit concerned about Hidan's hypothetical. Hinata had gone to enormous trouble to recruit them—there was no way it was all for two crates of figures.
"Someone's coming out," Kakuzu murmured.
Onstage, Princess Qingji—played by Ino—and Sakura emerged from backstage in lavish jūnihitoe court robes. Neither had a part in the stage play, but letting two actual girls go to waste seemed criminal, so Hinata had simply assigned them the role of emcees.
"Thank you all for your support and patronage! It's your appreciation and enthusiasm that have brought the Fox Tales series to the heights it enjoys today. As a special surprise, we'll be offering collector's-edition bonus art books for sale today, along with—a very special treat!"
Gripping the microphone, Ino fought to keep her voice level. A flicker of reluctance crossed her eyes, but she steeled herself and waved for Choji—the crew's number-one workhorse—to haul the merchandise onstage.
"Oh~ Look, it's those little wood men and little mud men you two made. Heh heh~ Wonder how many takers there'll be~"
Hidan elbowed Deidara with a snide grin. The blond missing-nin batted his hand away irritably. "Shut up~! I'm telling you, our art is absolutely beyond reproach! Hmm~"
For all his bluster, Deidara was clearly on edge. By rights, an S-rank missing-nin should have cultivated an unshakable calm by now—but when it came to his art, composure went out the window.
Sasori, beside him, had unconsciously clenched his fists. His face and eyes were calm, but that small involuntary gesture betrayed his real feelings. He could see clearly enough: the two crates Choji was carrying onto the stage were the figures he and Deidara had made.
"No good—I just remembered the clay color on this batch might have been slightly off. Damn~ I should have added a little more red pigment. Hmm~"
Deidara was coming unglued, muttering under his breath. Sasori, doing his best to block out Deidara's nervous energy, found himself struck by regrets of his own. He'd been meticulous in selecting materials, but now he couldn't help thinking he should have sourced something even better.
"Now then—these figures were custom-ordered by the author from a very special, undisclosed artisan. As you can see~ there are two styles. The first is the fixed-pose 'Azure Dragon-style' figure. Its strengths are bold color and dynamic posing—perfect for display and appreciation~ See? Ahh~~ Our Lord Zuorin really is the picture of elegance~~"
Ino lovingly cradled a Zuorin clay figure and raised it high for the audience. Right on cue, Sakura chimed in: "And don't forget the 'Jade Maiden-style' figures over here~ They may be a touch more subdued in color and tone, but every joint and limb is fully articulated~ Perfect for handling and posing. Look~ This is the fox spirit Ahri~ Doesn't she look absolutely divine in this soaring-to-the-moon pose?"
[There's no way~! Why do I have to advertise that idiot Naruto's figure while Ino-pig gets to fawn over Sasuke's?! Damn you, Hinata~!]
Sakura's internal meltdown went predictably unnoticed. Ino reluctantly set down her figure, cleared her throat, and put on her sweetest voice. "Since this batch of figures is quite limited—only one hundred total—if you'd like one..."
She never finished the sentence. The crowd below detonated. People who'd been sitting in their seats a heartbeat ago surged forward in an unstoppable tide that slammed against the base of the stage. The noise was deafening.
"GIVE IT TO ME! Zuorin figures are the BEST!!"
"I'll take every single Ahri figure!!"
"My Lady!! I LOVE YOU!!"
"Back off! Ahri is MINE!! The rest of you can go die!!"
"Excuse me?! You wanna go?!"
"Lord Zuorin! I've come for you!!"
Hidan and Deidara nearly got bowled over by the stampede from behind. Kakuzu and Sasori each grabbed their respective partner just in time. Staring at the pandemonium engulfing them, even Hidan's eyes bugged out. "What the—?! What's wrong with these people?! They're acting like the fanatics in my old cult!!"
"Damn it~ Quit shoving over here! You bastards~~!"
Deidara struggled to dodge an incoming rear end the size of a small boulder, but the crush of bodies left him no room to maneuver. Sure, a couple of explosive clay bombs would clear the area in seconds, but that was obviously off the table.
"P-please, everyone, calm down~ Don't push~!"
Ino stammered her pleas at the mob clawing their way toward the stage, her face ashen. This was, by a comfortable margin, the most terrifying riot she'd ever witnessed—though some part of her could almost understand the impulse.
"Wind Release! Gale Technique!"
Asuma's voice arrived just in time. A sudden gust of wind roared through the venue, and the crowd pressing against the stage stumbled back amid shrieks, their forward momentum temporarily broken.
"Everyone, please calm down! Do not injure others in the commotion!"
Asuma landed at the front edge of the stage and swept a commanding gaze across the crowd below. The weight of a shinobi's authority made the overwhelmingly civilian audience instinctively pause their jostling—though they clearly weren't happy about it.
"Ho-oh? That insignia... This one's worth a pretty penny~"
From below, Kakuzu's sharp eyes zeroed in on the Twelve Guardian Ninja crest at Asuma's waist. The tall missing-nin's eyes narrowed. "The Land of Fire really is the place to make money~"
"Not today. Wreck our launch event and I will make you regret it."
Sasori's voice was ice. Meanwhile, Hidan—sandwiched between two very large women—erupted in fury. "And this ISN'T wrecked already?! Tch! You damn hags, where do you think you're grabbing?! I swear I'll sacrifice you to Jashin!!"
The downside of Hidan's edgy good looks became apparent as some overeager hands in the crowd decided he was worth groping.
"Not done yet—! Stop it! Bastard! I'M A MAN!"
Deidara's situation was no better. His androgynous appearance and styling had apparently sent some very wrong signals to the more opportunistic members of the audience.
Sasori, meanwhile, was entirely unbothered. Anyone who'd laid a hand on him was already lying on the ground foaming at the mouth. A master puppeteer was also, by definition, a master poisoner.
"Hmph~ Fine, whatever. I'll concede that your so-called 'figures' do seem to have a market~"
Watching the frenzied crowd, Kakuzu ran a rapid calculation: the attendance was well over ten thousand, every last one of them desperate to buy. At even a thousand ryō per figure, that was ten million ryō in a single event. And if they pushed the price higher—hm~~
"Good. I'll contact the Leader immediately. This is indeed a profitable venture."
Without hesitation, Kakuzu made his decision. Hunting bounties—what was that even worth? Heads with high bounties were rare and hard to find. Finding one target worth a few million ryō in a month already felt like hitting the jackpot. In canon, heads as valuable as Chiriku's or Asuma's—worth tens of millions—were one-in-a-million finds across the entire Land of Fire.
But now, with nothing more than some little wood men and little mud men—raw materials costing next to nothing—they could rake in tens of millions just by sitting back. Kakuzu would sooner die than walk away from this business.