"Have you brought home another wench?" Terumi Mei asked with a defiant scowl after I entered her study without knocking.
The study of the head of the Terumi clan.
"No. But I did bring back two members of my other clan who were exploited in Kusagakure," I answered truthfully while shrugging. "Uh, a special jōnin to look after them in my absence, too."
"Was it you who killed their kage?" Mei asked with scrunched up brows. "Reports are saying it was Konoha ANBU..."
"That's good. It was what I wanted everyone to think," I answered curtly, not bothering to explain the rationale behind my actions. Though I wondered why she cared.
"Has the Mizukage been informed?"
I looked at my fiancée as though she was an idiot before I replied, "You know as well as I do how much contempt we both hold for Yagura. He will get my report on the movements on the borders of the Lands of Waterfall, Iron, Rice, and Hotsprings to the Land of Fire and be glad I bothered being so thorough."
Seeing her nod absentmindedly, I was about to stand up and leave, but she asked, "Are you ready to help Ao-san and I with overthrowing Yagura? End the era of the bloody mist?"
I turned on my feet, looked her up and down, and threw a jade bottle at her.
"Keep the pill in your mouth before the fight. Use it when you're sure the sealing team is in place. I'll be there to help in case you fail. Can't be the kage's husband if you're not kage. Swallow the pill once the sealing team has dealt with the three-tails."
Leaving, I didn't see the reluctant and fed-up expression on her face.
But I did feel her annoyance thanks to my newly enhanced Uzumaki lineage and the mind's eye.
—————
Having saved the children of many bloodline clans during the start of the bloody mist era, the Hidden Mist had dealt with many of those clans much earlier than they should have, thanks to my help. Only clans like the Terumi clan who were technically founder clans of Kiri and those who didn't have many bloodline users with them still survived. Or like the Hozuki clan whose hydrification technique was classified as a hiden, a secret technique, instead of a kekkei genkai - just like the clan techniques of the famed Ino-Chika-Cho combo of Konoha. It was weird that the politics of the village recognized a difference there. But just like racism it was always about power, greed, and authority. Not principles.
And, since Hozuki Mangetsu, one of the seven swordsmen and their most talented member in regards to kenjutsu was still alive and had not yet been killed or made to flee Kiri by Hoshigaki Kisame. Their clan still held quite a bit of sway in Kiri, too.
And since the lava release was outwardly unique to Mei and the boil release was at best shown in one of twenty children in the clan, the Terumi clan managed to survive unscathed with the help of my unique pills as bargaining power.
That, however, escalated the negative transformation of the village and seemingly aided Obito's plan of decimating Kiri for the hand we had in his lover's death... if one disregarded Black Zetsu and Madara orchestrating it all to awaken Obito's Mangekyō and Kiri to a high degree being actually innocent in the matter. And that Rin was still alive, technically.
Getting her out of there as Kakashi fled and Obito decimated the rest of the Kiri nin in a state of absolute rage had been a doozy and a half. Zetsu definitely saw me do it, too. I think it allowed me and my clones to take the body away, Rin had done her job.
And I left behind a body that was transformed into the Konoha kunoichi with a pill-enhanced transformation of another random corpse. Obito never even found out.
Most of the famous Seven Ninja Swordsmen of the Mist had already defected or seemingly disappeared except for Mangetsu, who was tasked by Yagura, the Fourth Mizukage, to get all the swords back. Their jutsu to summon them back had failed for some of the swords to my knowledge, I just didn't care to confirm the exact number.
There was also Ameyuri Ringo, who should have already died, defecting shortly before succumbing to her illness and being a missing nin and bounty hunter. Or something along those lines. The once-wielder of Kiba, the lightning dual-swords, only appeared in the manga as someone resurrected by the Impure World Reincarnation, or Edo Tensei, where she fought during the Fourth Ninja War. Not much else was known, to me anyway, and I barely met her once on the battlefront versus Konoha during the beginning of the Third Ninja World War in this life before I took pity on her.
I might have forgotten her existence if that hadn't happened.
"Raiton/Lightning Release: Depth Charge!" Someone suddenly shouted as I reached the outskirts of Kiri after walking out of Mei's study.
Forming fire chakra around my fist, I swung it to the side where I perceived the attack to be coming from and punched away the lightning-strike barreling towards me. At the same time, my Adamantine Sealing Chains popped out of my back and held the two swords in place before swiftly snaking down to the wrists of the swordswoman, down to the arms and ultimately around the attacker's neck.
"You've filed your teeth again. Why?" I asked with narrowed eyes as I saw the maroon-haired kunoichi try to fight the bindings with gritted teeth and a savage grin.
With a wave of my hand, the chains spread apart Ringo's fingers, making her drop Kiba and dashing any hope she might have had of forming seals to get her out of her predicament.
"You know I hate your dick in my mouth. I saw no other way to stop you from shoving it in there," Ringo spat while squirming desperately. "How'd you learn this new trick?? It's so unfair!"
"If you don't want my dick in your mouth, just say so. No need to mutilate yourself. It's honestly one of the stupidest traditions among kiri-nin. Those pills I gave you to heal your teeth don't grow on trees, you know," I said with an exhausted sigh before mumbling, "Not literally anyway…"
Ignoring it all, Ringo asked with an underlying excitement in her voice, "Are you gonna fuck me while I'm helplessly suspended mid-air? At least promise me to go for my ass like I like it!"
Turning her around as she hung from my chains, I caressed her thighs while one hand lifted her kimono. Ringo shivered beneath my touch.
I undid the sash holding her brown robe and dropped her pants in the same movement all the while Ringo tried to put up a brave and indifferent front. But I knew better. The boisterous swordswoman loved the idea of getting dominated. There were just too few who could do that and get her going at the same time.
"Really, Ringo? You had a blunt kunai fashioned into a buttplug?" I asked incredulously as I got rid of the kunoichi's waistcloth. Before she could answer, I gently but firmly slapped her ass.
"Hhhngg," the red-haired ninja moaned out. "It's all your fault!"
Tugging at the ring of the kunai handle, I took the plug out of Ringo's ass and saw... it wasn't even a blunt kunai. It was a pretty generous metal dildo with a kunai's grip.
I wasn't too big on ass-play, but I liked the way Ringo got into it. And since her body wasn't all too generous except for her ridiculously bubbly ass, I was eager to indulge her.
"Don't leave me hanging," the kunoichi complained as she was still dangling from my chains.
With a mere thought, I dissolved those adamantine sealing chains because I didn't want to do more damage than necessary during climax by accident and stepped behind Ringo. Chakra threads undid my own clothes as I pressed Ringo, who was only nude from the waist down, against my hardening dick. She eagerly stood on her toes, waiting for me to ram my dick into her always waiting hole.
Not yet fully hard, I still managed to plunge my dick into her gaping ass with barely any help. The moment I entered where the plug was moments ago, Ringo clenched hard and groaned in satisfaction.
"Aaahn, your hot dick is so much better than the plug," Ringo whined and eagerly pushed her waist a little forward before pressing it back against my pelvis, hard.
In mere two thrusts as I pressed Ringo's shoulders against my chest with an arm on her small tits, I was rock hard.
I wasn't usually one for passive sex, but Ringo using me as a masturbation tool as she speared herself on my dick with her ass and fingered herself furiously with one hand did not yet come close to becoming boring. And so, I merely enjoyed pinching her hardening little nipples over the bandages binding her small boobs as she rammed her ass against me more and more needily.
One of her hands suddenly held my head in place reaching behind her to make me look down her front, but the other one was much more naughty as three fingers disappeared in her dripping womanhood - the thumb doing its best it could to flick her little bean raw. Ringo really put on a show each and every time.
"Oh fuck yeah," she moaned out as her backdoor clenched rhythmically and with more and more need. Since we were both still standing - her back to my chest - I didn't even need to do much.
A loud moan suddenly rang through the open forest where she went at me like an animal, and Ringo slumped in my arms with a satisfied groan. But I wasn't done yet, and I knew she secretly liked me using her just like she used me.
Propping her up and leaning her body forward by her tits with both of my hands, I started putting in work as I pumped my hot rod into her beaten asshole with the same ferocity she had just used. All I heard for the first few moments were small whimpers that slowly turned into heated gasps.
Ringo barely looked coherent for a moment before lucidity returned to the kunoichi when one of my hands dropped to her pelvis, and I pressed her hips into me with my fingers covering her dripping wet sheath. I didn't finger her, didn't pinch her clit - I merely applied pressure as I railed her from behind, letting the fast movements of our two bodies aid in stimulation.
"Fuck~ I love when you do that," Ringo moaned out in a raspy, sexy voice, and clenched down on my relentless meat some more.
Feeling myself getting closer, I used the most miniscule amount of chakra on both my dick and my hand holding her pussy that sent another orgasm through the swordswoman. Her convulsion and muscle spasms sent me over the edge and I painted the depth of her ass white with release with one final thrust.
Pulling myself out of her, I allowed Ringo to drop to the floor. Not liking clean-up blowjobs when you were into analsex sounded reasonable, but I still didn't like how she went about avoiding it.
Was I so unreasonable?
Ugh, in the eyes of many, I probably was. It wasn't like I was a very affectionate lover or anything.
But I was one of the strongest ninjas this planet had to offer before Madara or Obito became the Ten-Tails Jinchuuriki. I made reality-defying pills that boosted their strength beyond their limits. I didn't need to be spat at when I wanted to fuck someone.
I felt like this reality was really lacking compared to all those other protagonists easily gaining several love interests and building huge harems where every woman treated the others like sisters.
I put Ringo under a genjutsu by merely grasping her head, and she immediately fell into a short coma with a single hand doing hand seals. My yin-chakra training easily allowed me to forgo most hand seals in the first place, as well as making my chakra virtually impossible to resist if my opponent didn't have super-kage level chakra control or skills bordering that level.
My genjutsu wasn't unbreakable or at the level of an Uchiha with a Mangekyō, of course, but very few people came close at this time.
Flicking a pill into Ringo's mouth for recovery and another for her physical training, I left her lying there next to her swords and made my way back to the Terumi clan.
This was just me getting a quick shag in with the wild lightning-release swordswoman that I rescued years ago, not some budding romantic evening with a love interest.
Back at my own home, I saw the comatose body of Nohara Rin lying exactly where I left her for Pakura to tend to. The hole in her chest made by Kakashi's chidori had healed over the years, but only I knew how truly bad her condition still was. Her heart was beating at barely ten pumps an hour, still not able to put more strain on itself without bursting because the muscle had still not fully regrown.
Without my pills and without the miraculous existence of chakra, Rin should have long been dead. In fact, she should die right now. Ten beats an hour wasn't enough for a living being by a long shot.
Touching her head, I brought Rin into my personal dimension and once more suspended her body in a small pool filled with the purified Hero Water from Takigakure. The water no longer consumed life force for its miraculous increase in chakra. The increase was no longer fully temporary, either. But the sheer volume of that increase was also reduced by a lot, too.
With Rin's head gently secured to stay above water, I moved my furnace over and sat down cross-legged at the shore next to her. I had sent some water clones out to gather ingredients for me.
Starting to try my hand at creating another pill able to mend her heart, I started talking to Rin, even if she couldn't hear me. I had pills to fully heal her. But I wanted to find a recipe that would just heal her heart. A personal challenge for my alchemist path.
"I told you last time that your teacher Minato and his wife Kushina had a son. Little Naruto. Your village doesn't treat him very well, but he is an Uzumaki, like me. If you indeed hear my voice, you probably know as much as I do that I don't truly care. Not in the real sense of the love one holds for family and friends. My looking after him comes out of a selfish desire to be lazy. To not have to be the one to shoulder the responsibility of saving the world," I narrated patiently while putting some herbs into the furnace.
"I found your idol, Senju Tsunade. I searched for her for two reasons and I'm not talking about her generous tits... uh, sorry for being so crass. I hope she gets to the village and shields Naruto a little. Us jinchūriki need to stick together. In any case, for my pills and for my lessons about Naruto and the darkness of her grandfather's village, I got to knock up Tsunade. Fingers crossed, anyway."
Sighing some moments of silence later, I added, "It's probably me talking like that about women, but Pakura and Mei have shown nothing but disdain for me when I came back to Kiri. Tsunade even tried to poison me after we did it. I was half a mind to just scorch your village to the ground, but I don't care to live through the consequences of doing so. Zetsu and Obito are still not fully aware of my true strength, I'd like to think. Neither has made contact with me or tried to kill me."
Reaching a critical stage in the pill creation process, I stayed quiet for a moment and concentrated on the furnace and my chakra.
Eventually, I took one of the three pink pills that formed out of the cauldron and regarded them.
"Another failure… I think," I muttered under my breath and popped one in Rin's mouth anyway. "It'll still strengthen you, but it won't form the missing muscle that your heart lacks or reconstruct your ventricles back to their original volume. Maybe I should just research enough medical ninjutsu to transplant an organ and let my pills do the rest. Honestly, the fact that your heart refuses to heal despite my pills saving people who are close to death from blood loss and the fact that Saiken's chakra can puzzle together even flesh mangled in an explosion… is so weird. I mean, I could also pay Kakuzu to do it for me, the transplant, I mean. If anyone knows how to transplant a heart, it's him… could try to pay Konan for a child while at it, too…"
Shaking my head, I sighed, "There I go again. Me see kage-level kunoichi. Me horny. Uga-uga. You know what, Rin? I'll just stop caring about it for a while and just enjoy the fruits of my labor. Eventually, people will see me for the benevolent God of Shinobi that I am..."
Keeping Rin suspended in the hero water pool, I walked over to the four special fruit trees I had growing in my plant dimension.
All of them were mere saplings before I buried mountains of corpses beneath them in the hopes they would mutate. An uchiha apple tree. A kaguya peach tree. A magnet-release user plum tree. A chinoike pear tree.
During the Third Ninja War, I had killed well over three dozen awakened Sharingan users from the Uchiha clan and made their bodies disappear with no issue. During the early annihilation of the bloodline clans in the Hidden Mist, I participated and killed several jōnin-level Kaguya clan members and countless Kaguya clan chunin, obtaining plenty of corpses with the shikotsumyaku, or dead bone pulse, bloodline.
Sadly, for my two other plans, I didn't find as many corpses. The exiled Chinoike clan living in the Valley of Hell in the Land of Hot Water had a special dojutsu or eye-bloodline ability. Once awakened, it allowed for the control of liquids, specifically liquids with high iron content like blood and genjutsu at a comparable level to the Sharingan before it awakened the three-tomoe state or heavens forbid, the Mangekyō.
I killed most of their older ninjas in exchange for abducting the dozen children who were now living with the other kids from the bloodline clans in my hidden courtyard free from their exile.
I didn't care much if the daimyo of the Land of Lightning would make a big scene after he finds out that the Chinoike clan his family exiled now lives on in Kiri. I could always just kill them all.
The Ketsuryugan, their clan's dojutsu, sadly wasn't activated in many of those older ninjas still alive - which weren't many in the first place. So I doubted this special tree would hold any special fruits soon, unless I miscalculated or got lucky.
Then, there were the dead magnet release users, mostly from Sunakagure, the Village Hidden in Sand. There weren't many such ninja in the first place because the birth rates in Suna were really low for many reasons, especially in the bloodline families. Plus, not even Rasa, the current Kazekage, managed to birth three kids with the magnet release. Only Gaara would later show himself to be able to use it.
I only had four chunin corpses and a single lucky jōnin kill for the magnet release project from Suna. In addition, I found a few others of lower-than-jōnin strength during my travels. Still, it was the least amount of corpses that I fed the trees.
But I had high hopes that eventually, the Ketsuryugan and the magnet release would benefit from each other - if the abilities could even be gained through those special fruits that might form or pills made out of them. Incidentally, magnet release was a kekkei genkai mix of earth and wind release, and I wanted to see if I couldn't cheat my way into getting a higher wind release affinity to finally fully unlock scorch release without having to take chakra from Pakura and feed it with my own fire chakra.
Lightning was my weakest affinity by far - though, wind wasn't much better. As in, both wind and lightning were much worse than my earth affinity, which was much, much worse than my water affinity, which was roughly on par with my yin and yang affinity. But it was all naturally eclipsed by my fire affinity.
If it turned out that I could cheat my way into a decent wind affinity as well as boosting my earth affinity by getting the magnet release bloodline through a pill made by a fruit that was fed with corpses from among those kekkei genkai users… I'd celebrate that.
Plus, I really wanted to see if I couldn't replicate the special chakra needed to get the Sharingan since it merely needed Otsutsuki DNA and yin-chakra, which I had in spades. Or the dead bone pulse that was linked to yang-chakra that I as an Uzumaki didn't lack either.
Though, I wasn't too sure about getting the Kaguya clan ability. They were all mad, the men especially, and I didn't know if that was because of the shikotsumyaku.
"Still no special fruit… I need to stop putting people in here to allow the time dilation to work properly…"
"Yo-san," Saiken suddenly greeted as her chakra avatar appeared behind me in the form of a pink-haired Tsunade.
"Yes?" I asked with a patient smile.
"I checked Rin-sama's chakra pathways just now as I spared some of my chakra to help her heal. A seed of Isobu is starting to form inside of her," my tailed beast explained with an astonished expression.
"Truly? The three-tailed beast is getting copied?"
Saiken nodded eagerly before explaining with a complicated expression, "Same with the copy you have created here for me, but of course, Isobu isn't helping its growth like I do. So it will take a long time to fully form into a tailed beast..."
Narrowing my eyes, I stared ahead for a while before I walked over to Rin.
"A small part is still something that I can use to eventually make my own ten-tails or something close to it without having to sacrifice the actual tailed-beasts or an Otsutsuki. Let's extract the seed and allow it to grow at the bottom of the hero water pond. I'll find Chomei, the seven-tails in Takigakure, and see if I can't negotiate for a seed of its chakra as well. I bet it will accept as long as I help little Fū get stronger with my pills. The other tailed beasts are too stubborn, I think. That means that I'll just persuade the other jinchūriki with my fist."
"Will you help Ryu-san get stronger with a tailed beast?" Saiken asked suddenly, and I looked at her in annoyance.
That white-haired kunoichi I abducted in Kusagakure before killing their kage… I already more or less forgot about her. She was likely helping Pakura and the older children with caring for that orphanage-in-all-but-name I more or less ran with the kekkei genkai and miscellaneous clan kids. But it seemed Saiken liked her.
"No. I won't help another kunoichi release her full potential. None of my actions bore fruit thus far with my flawed thinking. She'll get a few pills as payment for looking after the kids so that she doesn't go crazy and that'll be it," I answered with a disinterested shrug.
Once I was done extracting the budding chakra seed that resided in Rin's chakra pathways together with Saiken to get a miniscule copy of Isobu, the three-tailed beast currently living in Yagura, I left my plant dimension and placed Rin back in the small room she lived in when I didn't feel like slowing down my plant dimension.
Back in my room, I started extracting nature energy through my connection with the sage region bound to my soul to get a better grasp on my sage body physique.
Fully in line with the cultivation novel shenanigans that I was gifted by the god when he made me an alchemist in the world of Naruto, me training my nascent sage mode actually raised the quality of the chakra surrounding me.
I didn't even enter sage mode because I couldn't yet. Instead, I filtered nature chakra through my body and increased my own vitality, which in turn bled through to my environment. A small plant I kept on my desk started to bloom. The lawn outside grew a finger's length in mere minutes. The insects outside were buzzing with life.
At least I didn't turn into stone. It felt like I didn't need to fear doing so either.