Sitting on the kage's chair in the kage tower back in Kiri, I looked at the young, tanned beauty wearing a revealing olive green outfit with shoulder-length silver hair in front of me.
"You must know that the information I have on Kumo has been sealed in my head. I would not have told you anyway, even without that precaution," Mabui bitterly commented when my staring seemed to have become too much.
"I wiped out a force of three hundred ninja, took out your strongest jinchūriki and then blocked your kage's strongest attack without using a single hand seal. You're smart. You must realise that I hardly care about your village's secrets. What could you tell me? That you and Samui are descendants of the Senju that your village managed to abduct? That Karui is an Uzumaki?"
Neither of those assertions were the truth as far as both of us knew, but that wasn't my point.
Seeing me dismissing the worth of the secrets she knew, she was about to retort until I continued, "Or that massive cannon you're secretly building that mimics a tailed beast bomb? In front of real strength, Kumo as it is now is nothing."
"Then why did you ask for me and Samui?" Mabui asked with a resigned frown before she looked down. She tried desperately not to show any astonishment on her face because I had been right with that last one. Clutching her blouse close, she pretended to shyly blush as she seemed to resign herself to something before she acted out, "I'll end my life if you dishonor me!"
Watching her play, I looked at it all unfolding with a small smile until I leaned forward, my chin on my palm, and quipped, "If you do end your life, I will use the jutsu from the beach over Kumo and obliterate your little village. I'll even use hand seals that time."
Her pupils immediately shrank into pin-pricks. Horrified, she stammered out, "M-monster…!"
I only shrugged in response and leaned back again.
"In fact, let's establish a few facts or… rules. One, I have no need for your secrets. Two, I will not touch you against your will. Three, you will work as my assistant in the academy so that I don't have to waste chakra on a clone to do my paperwork. Four, if you ever betray me or the secrets you learn in my presence to absolutely anyone, be they from Kumo, Kiri or any other village or faction, I will burn the entire Land of Lightning to the ground one village or town at a time while you watch."
Satisfied with the sheer panic in her expression, I nodded and let that stew for a moment.
"When Samui comes later, make sure you impress on her the seriousness of the situation. Who could have known she'd be hurt at a time like this and didn't come with you on this absolute brain teaser of a plan by the Raikage," I instructed with a teasing grin before asking, "Do you think Kumo is doomed now that you're no longer keeping your idiot-in-chief in check?"
"Others will continue my work," Mabui answered in a small voice before she realised she had just agreed with my opinion that the Raikage needed someone to make sure he didn't bring the village to its knees.
I let that stand and turned back.
"Fuen. Make sure Mabui and Samui will have a residence in my clan. It needn't be more luxurious or bigger than yours and Fuka's. They'll both be working at the academy, so have someone inform my cl- nevermind. I'll send a new clone," I ordered but sighed at the end and formed a single hand seal.
In a flash of fire, two new mes formed - my living fire clones.
—————
"Really, Yoshihiro?" Mei asked with a fed-up scowl as she entered my office at the academy almost two months later. At a desk next to mine, Mabui was diligently sorting student files. Behind me was Samui who had a scowl similar to Mei's as she was massaging my shoulders.
"You have returned. How did my students do? How was your journey? Do you want to taste my cooking now that you're back?" I asked without bothering to stand up.
"Obviously that little monster Haku won everything and the journey was fine," Mei breathed out in irritation as she gained a tick mark next to her visible eye. "Can you answer me now why you obliterated a small Kumogakure battalion on our lands and asked for two big-breasted bimbos as compensation for their act of war!?"
"Ah. Someone snitched on me?" I asked as I theatrically gasped and put a hand over my heart. I continued mockingly, "Did you want me to kill the Raikage or steal their tailed beast instead?"
"You. Asked. For. Two. Big-Titted. Bimbos," Mei complained with gritted teeth.
I felt Samui's fingers clench much tighter as her massage turned anything but relaxing, but I ignored it as I stood up and walked around the desk to stand in front of my fiancée.
"Are you jealous? You needn't be. They are mere eye-candy and my way of crippling Kumo's efficiency in the long run. Both of them may look like this, but outside of Darui there aren't many smart people left in the new generation of Kumogakure," I pointed out as I towered over Mei who looked up into my eyes defiantly.
Almost bored, I ignored the sinking morale and mood of the three women present in the room. At least Mabui finally looked like she realized something.
"It's not like my future wife favors me either, so why shouldn't I look elsewhere?"
I walked to the side and retrieved two small scrolls that I threw toward Mei.
"Two kage-level ninja led an army into our lands when they heard you were gone. I fought them all back alone, no casualties for our side. I weakened the ninja village closest to us for several years to come without escalating the conflict or the consequences into a blood feud that would make us hated enemies with no chance to become allies in the future… and have not received any thanks or praise."
When I was done talking, I formed a hand seal and dissolved into flames. The me in the office had been one of my newest created jutsu. I wanted people to believe it was a simple fire clone, but in reality it was a fire apparition, something I controlled with my mind even from large distances away. It was a jutsu I developed with the help of Ryuzetsu, the jōnin I 'stole' from Kusagakure together with Karin and her mother Kaede.
"I have been massaging a clone's shoulder for two hours?" Samui suddenly asked back in my office as she stared at her hands with a lost look.
"At least you get a pill of your choosing at the end of the week," Mabui consoled with a small, pitying smile.
Mei looked at the two women with a blank expression before she opened one of the scrolls I had given her.
"Allow me to introduce myself, Mizukage-sama. I am Mabui, your Lord Fiance has me working as an assistant here at the academy. What you are holding," Mabui's smile turned bitter again, "is a report on the confrontation with Kumo's forces, as well as an account book he asked me to prepare for your convenience."
"He had me read over the report," Samui added, "and I don't know how he did it, but his figures are entirely accurate. There is 'guess work' on how many limbs had to have been amputated, how many lives were lost on our side, or how long Killer B will need to recuperate. His report is entirely factual. I am called Samui, by the way."
"Accurate?" Mei asked with a lifted brow.
"There is no need to lie, Mizukage. Yoshihiro even got the number of scorched fingers correct from what I can tell. He had me look over the report just to mess with me, I suppose. I never needed to confirm it, just despair," Samui spat with a resigned frown.
"And the account book?" Mei asked as she turned to Mabui and seemingly accepted the truth of the matter.
"Your fiance's finances, Mizukage-sama. When he asked me to bring order to it, Lord Yoshihiro just handed me over a dozen storage scrolls filled with currency, deeds to buildings and land and other legal papers that he never bothered sorting. His guess about his actual net worth was off by quite a bit. Technically, Lord Yoshihiro is the owner of the Nagi Island that should belong to the Land of Tea, and he is the rightful daimyo of the Land of Vegetables and betrothed to Lady Haruna, daughter of the… acting daimyo."
There was a short moment of silence where Mei blankly stared at the scroll.
"Great, another wench for the manwhore," Mei muttered in resignation.
—————
"Lord Yoshihiro, I would have done an equally thorough job preparing an account of your finances," Fuen complained as she lazily played with my length as she accompanied me in my personal hot spring.
"Are you not busy getting stronger to kill that ANBU by yourself?" I asked with closed eyes as one of my hands was gliding across the soft and smooth skin of her back.
"Serving you is more important. The strength I have already gained through you is intoxicating," she cooed into my ear sensually as she took one of my hands and placed it on her ass.
"And yet you've barely entered kage-level. If there was such a thing as 'special kage' for those who only have a single aspect at the level, you'd be a special kage at best."
My eyes were still closed, but I practically heard her pout as she indignantly rebuffed, "You really know how to build a girl's self-esteem. And I know my own talent. I would have remained at barely special jōnin level until the end without you."
I couldn't argue with that, not that I even wanted to argue and tugged Fuen onto my lap. With her smooth back flush against my chest, I used a hand to gently fondle her modest breasts.
"Lady Mei is wrong. You didn't *aahn~*, you didn't ask for those two Kumo kunoichi because of their - of their - huge breasts," Fuen moaned out with playful difficulty as she enjoyed my touch and squirmed beneath it. "You favor even someone like me with my lithe form~."
"I don't discriminate. Beauty is beauty."
Grinding her core into my hardening member while giggling, Fuen decided to change the subject. She asked, "The chunin exam delegation brought back news from Konoha. Senju Tsunade gave birth to a boy and a girl, twins. It is rumored she also adopted an evil orphan. Have you heard anything about that?"
I tugged her nipple a little for daring to talk about something like that, but still replied, "Those brats are mine, the 'evil orphan' is under my protection, too. Don't think about involving those four in your scheme to bring down Konoha."
"Y-yours?" Fuen gasped, more out of pained need than astonishment.
"Haven't you heard? Four months old and they can already walk around. The boy is said to be able to speak simple sentences. Whose seed could do something like that other than mine?"
"W-why?"
"Tsunade is my type," I revealed with a small shrug. "Not just the jugs." I playfully pawed at her small handful. "My type is power. Physically, no kunoichi can hold her water. Her medical ninjutsu is without equal. There's a reason so many little girls in Konoha dream of becoming like her."
"Will you bless others with children?" Fuen asked. She likely noticed that I never worried about her getting pregnant after dumping my load inside of her. I glazed plenty of maids and others like Fuka, Ryuzetsu, and Pakura in her presence, too. And none of them got pregnant yet.
It wasn't a coincidence. My chakra control did allow me to kill my sperm and turn it into pure yang chakra with left-over spunk.
"When any of you actually yearns for a child and is sufficiently strong - possibly. But Tsunade is a special case," I replied lazily.
Only I knew that I was already a father even before and hoped to keep it a secret.
—————
Inside my plant dimension was a section that looked particularly barren and desolate. The only thing that grew there were thorny bushes with finger-thick, sickly white branches.
My Kaguya clan graveyard for those few corpses I didn't feed to the tree.
"Let's see if I can't finally make a better pill for bone growth," I muttered to myself and broke off some of the fresher offshoots from the 'bone bushes'.
Done with my collection, I body flickered back to my hut and my furnace.
"I'll go to Amegakure soon. Maybe buy the secrets of a successful heart transplant from Kakuzu," I narrated as I gathered the ingredients for my experiment on a low table next to me and sat down cross legged in front of my furnace.
Next to me was the pond filled with the improved hero water where I had placed Rin again.
"Who knows? Maybe I'll fix your heart before that," I idly commented as I concentrated on my task more than the one-sided conversation. "Or I'll give you back to Konoha."
After organizing the ingredients I planned to use and penning down the recipe I decided on first.
Gently burning the first few herbs that were part of a bone-strengthening pill I had already created, I used my free hand to grasp one of the bone-bush branches and held it over the open furnace where I could see a calm vortex of yellow flames rotating.
With minute chakra control, I broke the branch into microscopic pieces that were sucked into the furnace under my fire's control and turned into pure medicinal essence.
Several minutes later, my pill technique bore fruit and a perfectly round, white pill laid inside the furnace. I didn't need to fear the heat, so I took the pill out bare-handed and regarded the pill.
The power bestowed to me by the being that brought me here told me the pill did what I wanted it to but not at the powerlevel I needed it to. This pill was a failure.
Well, a failure worth at least an A-rank mission if I would sell the pill on the free market. Instead, I'd feed it to some of the children. Haku and his teammates for example. Not even ten and that little Kaguya clan girl was on the verge of attaining special jōnin strength with taijutsu alone. Or that girl from the First Mizukage's lineage. He didn't belong to a clan but he did leave behind descendants.
Yagura, the late Fourth puppet Mizukage, had me kill them. But I 'rescued' First Mizukage Byakuren's great-granddaughter Byakuya while doing so and she was naturally amazing at both genjutsu and medical jutsu. Her affinity for yin and yang chakra was well above average, but her chakra control was miles ahead of what a girl weeks before her tenth birthday should have.
"Yeah, Haku, Byakuya and Kaguya Meimei. I'll give them the 'failures' of today's experiments," I decided and started another pill creation process.
All four teams had not only survived but also attained chunin ranks for all members. It was a real testament to how excellent my teachings at the academy were.
"Let's try the second variant with another flame," I mumbled under my breath.
———
"Yo-san, you should mind the time. Rin-san has been in the pond for almost twelve hours," Saiken suddenly said from behind me and I nearly lost my concentration and blew up the contents of my furnace. I was in the zone and completely forgot my surroundings.
"Damn, Saiken. That was close!"
"I called out to you several times," the transformed six-tails explained with a pout and regarded the pills I placed around me from all my experiments today. Almost a hundred different pills all with the number of their experiment inscribed. With Saiken's reminder, I calculated that I created a pill roughly every seven minutes if I disregarded taking small breaks and waiting on my clones to get me more ingredients.
Some of the pills were worse than my original bone-strengthening pills, a vast majority was better even if just a little bit. Those bone-bushes fed with the corpses of the Kaguya clans-men was a great ingredient.
"Can you tell me why you are not trying to gain the ability of the Kaguya clan like you do with the Uchiha corpses?" Saiken asked after I finished the last pill.
Instead of getting it out of the furnace, I looked at Saiken - who was still in the form of a pink-haired Tsunade - and answered, "The Kaguya clan is sick. The men are all mad, the women all die young. Sure, the madness might have contributed, but when I took out the Kaguya clan there wasn't a single shinobi older than 40. Not one civilian older than 50. I don't want to gain shikotsumyaku just to become a degenerate or learn that it comes with an inherent physical flaw that I need to correct unless I want to die a year later."
"It is a powerful kekkei genkai, though," Saiken pointed out with a curious tilt of her head. "And you still fed corpses to a tree in the hopes of growing a special fruit?"
"It is," I agreed easily. "But what does it bring to the table for someone of my strength? I am already faster than even the Raikage in his lightning chakra cloak jutsu. My body is more durable than any other pure taijutsu ninja I know and I'm about to level it up without gaining Shikotsumyaku."
"Will you be able to restore a broken femur instantly?"
I gave Saiken an unimpressed glare before answering, "Saiken. When was the last time I broke my femur?"
"Age 8. The Third Mizukage taught you a lesson on obedience after you interrupted a lesson he meant to teach you on etiquette."
My glare turned stiff for a moment before I wryly retorted, "Okay. And you still wouldn't talk to me at the time. How long did it take to heal anyway with my pills and just your chakra idly seeping into mine through the seal?"
"Two or three days?"
I nodded and answered, "Two days. A broken femur usually takes weeks to heal. And that was just with my first ever healing pills and without you using your chakra to heal me. I could shatter my femur into pieces and still be done healing it in under an hour during a fight without having to stop now."
Saiken nodded absentmindedly as I fished out the last pill I just created. It had a silvery sheen that was a lot different from the last few tries.
"Hmm, success?"
My ability told me I created a pill that would allow me to give my bones the ability to store metals inside.
'But how do I digest metal and get my body to use it as the building block for those new bones?'
My puzzlement didn't stop me from popping the pill into my mouth.