This left Tao Hua with a slew of complicated thoughts and emotions. Like whiplash, really. They jumped from his kind actions to his hurtful words, and it would keep going back-and-forth until a dull ache throbbed in his chest.
It only made his eyes feel heavier than they already did.
But the night would continue, with whispers of dawn painting the horizon a darkened shade of violet. But between this, the forest darkened significantly without the help of the moon. Further past the glades they proceeded, and all to Tao Hua's utter detest.
If it wasn't frozen brooks or heaping mountains of snow, then it was hidden obstacles buried under the thick slate. It was like each partition of this forest had its own list of positives and negatives.
The glades were free of most things, but horribly cold. The grove was free of the cold, but terrifying dark. And now that both weren't present, it's what Tao Hua couldn't see that posed as the final boss.
These issues were easily unnoticed, causing Tao Hua to face-plant into the snow more than he ever had in his entire life.
Usually a large tree root, or a medium-sized rock.
To offer just a sliver of a silver lining, had it not been for the consistent snowfall covering their tracks, his imprints would have been the first giveaway to their location.
Even if the snow was fucking terrible.
To make a bad situation worse for this clumsy man, his head inundated him negatively the more miserable he became. Paired with the numbing cold threatening him with frostbite, he didn't have much time to offer the terrifying sounds or howls in the forest.
Even if they increased the deeper Shan Si brought him, eventually bringing him to a point where it was painfully clear they were near the burrows of many creatures homestead.
He was scared, yes, but fear asked for energy.
This would all build up and break apart in an instant at the sound of a loud THUD.
Into the snow once more, Tao Hua face-planted for the last time. As if opening the floodgates of a dam, his mind completely ran astray—all negative thoughts and all the things said to him that made him so unhappy.
He didn't move this time, nor did he twitch. He just remained there, letting it nip at his cheeks while trying to fight back the urge to break down or give up. But luckily the cold was enough to mask the way his shoulders shook and chest heaved.
And his face? It was at the coldest it felt all night, even at all other instances of his face being submerged in the white fluffy softness sent straight from hell.
After about half a second of his wallowing self-pity, Tao Hua weakly pressed both hands to the ground, pushing himself from the ground with what little he could manage. He didn't even seem to care about the tiny specks of dirt or twigs lodged in his mouth. Instead, he just let it ooze out through strings of spit, watching as it melted some of the ground, and then froze over.
After mustering the energy, he lifted his head only to find a pair of familiar black leather boots ahead of him. However, before he could crank his neck and grab a look, everything went dark.
No prior warning always made for a high dose of adrenaline—Tao Hua wasn't sure if the world went dark, he died, or had become completely blind. So he immediately pushed himself up to his knees just as his heart raced, sitting on the calves he could hardly feel.
But it was still dark, and so he'd freak out more, moving up his hands only to brush them along what felt like a thick blanket. Was death supposed to feel like a thick blanket?! It's not like anyone survived being dead! What useless thoughts.
But if it was…death certainly felt luxurious, thick, and warm.
Moving his hands along it more, Tao Hua blinked a few times. Death also smelled nice, apparently. Sharp, with hints of pine—not like the forest pine, to be exact.
That scent was enough to ease his body, calming him down entirely. The warmer he felt, the more his nose ran, and he'd sniff a few times trying to contain it. Which was difficult and only brought the fabric closer with each breath.
So, tried to pull off the "blanket of death."
Then, something grabbed his arm and helped him to his feet. But given Tao Hua's current state, he just accepted that help, already accepting his timely demise. That's when the world became visible; all he could see was a man a head taller than him adjusting the "death" on his shoulders.
So he wasn't dead after all. Of course.
Well, actually, he might have been given he was seeing the ghost of what could have been.
"I told you to dress in warm clothes. I said it so many times," said Shan Si, his hands reaching near Tao Hua's collar and clipping something together. "Why didn't you listen?"
Tao Hua was far too dazed to answer; he could only stare. In his mind, he thought, D-Did I just cheat death?
Looking down at Shan Si's hand, he saw the familiar ornate golden patterns shimmer. With one lift of his hand, it was enough to tell him that this wasn't a blanket at all.
It was Shan Si's outer robe.
So this was how one cheated death. Made sense—none of it actually made sense, to be exact.
This robe was sized too big for Tao Hua, and dragged further past his hands. It was a silly, but welcome, as that bundle of fabric offered him more warmth than the small fire from before ever could.
He lowered his arm as Shan Si adjusted the collar, following those black sleeves up to his shoulders. That's when he finally snapped back to reality.
Isn't he also cold...?
But when Tao Hua looked at Shan Si's face, who was more focused on fitting that giant robe, he couldn't find a single trace of red unlike Tao Hua's.
What he could find was what he had been worried about earlier.
Exhaustion. As clear as daylight.
There were bags forming under Shan Si's eyes, though not nearly as bad as Tao Hua looked. There was a bit of guilt residing in the idea that Shan Si was certainly human and not some supernatural entity capable of withstanding more than the human body could endure.
Shan Si had handled almost every situation with ease; it was hard to believe that even he could reach a breaking point. Even so, he still moved with precision and haste, as if he wasn't even tired at all.
Which seemed to frustrate Tao Hua to no end. Why did a man so helpful and willing have to say such terrible things? Why couldn't Tao Hua just enjoy this moment without being reminded of the very reason he was here in the first place?
None of it was fair, and he was growing old in a world that wanted him dead.
As Tao Hua found himself mournfully captivated by Shan Si's complexion, their eyes met. Apparently, he had been talking to Tao Hua, trying to grab his attention multiple times, even yelling his name! But Tao Hua was so caught up in his own woeful thoughts that it hadn't registered.
"H-Huh?!" Tao Hua croaked, his eyes widened and body jolting. He tried to usher out more of a response, but everything seemed to catch at the back of his throat.
That's when he realized Shan Si's entire demeanour, which was uncharacteristically calm, flipped. It twisted with apprehension—but slightly exasperated as well. This was a different kind of irritation, one that Tao Hua hadn't seen on Shan Si before.
Well, one he hadn't paid attention to before, rather.
So, Tao Hua whipped his head away, the corners of his mouth trembling. He tried to smile awkwardly, but even that failed at the refusal of his lips. They just wouldn't tug upward and felt rather comfortable downward.
"U-Um…maybe we should…k-keep going," he said mindlessly, not even realizing just how cracked his voice became. His teeth chattered, just as he continued. "You d-don't want your t-time wasted."
Pushing aside Shan Si's hands while the long robe sleeve flapped from one side to the other, Tao Hua aimlessly tried to move past him. This seemed to ignite a reaction from Shan Si, and in a rough swing, he grabbed Tao Hua's arm and pulled him back into place.
Tao Hua was already aware that even if he tried to fight against it, there was nothing he could do. He just stood there looking like the husk of a man who'd long given up.
So, he just let this man have his way, his head lolling to the side somewhat. However, the moment Shan Si spoke, Tao Hua's eyes would immediately widen.
Shan Si, in a tone that sounded both offended and tentative, made it evidently clear to Tao Hua that it wasn't the cold that shook him so.
"Are you crying?"
Chapter end.