A few hours passed since Tao Hua's outburst—or so he assumed it had—as they made their way through Buzhi forest. And the flame? But a memory, one that lasted long enough to get them through that shadowed pine grove and back into the moonlight.
And once it vanished, the freezing cold had returned to feast on Tao Hua, nipping at every inch of exposed skin and frozen fabric.
Like a man yearning, Tao Hua surprisingly missed being in the grove, and more so the flame. In fact, he had grown fond of that little flame in those thirty-odd minutes. He'd always considered most small things cute, and cute things to him were made to be fond of; it was a perfect philosophy in his opinion.
Tao Hua compared himself to that flame, thinking of them as alike given their familial situation. This was partly due to becoming delirious with exhaustion—but it was nothing the shake of his head and icy hands to his burning cheeks couldn't solve.
As he slapped his hands against the red, he glanced up at Shan Si's back. He was intently focused on clearing the snow, more meticulous in his attempts than he had been earlier. He hadn't uttered anything of a word in conversation, only speaking when it involved directions.
From this, it was obvious Shan Si was adamant about getting them back to wherever it was they were going and in a timely manner.
Huh.
Tao Hua had to glance up for a moment, watching the moon peek through the shaking treetops. He'd come to realize something, and that something wasn't small in any way. He thought, Why haven't I once asked him where it was we were going? Hah—would he even tell me?
In Tao Hua's defence, the night was so eventful, he couldn't really offer the thought a second more. But now that he was following behind, offering nothing but a burden to Shan Si, he had all the time in the world to think, and he'd give it the time he thought it deserved.
Regardless, he still couldn't think up an answer. Whether that had to do with feeling miserable, or his lack of experience, he wasn't sure.
There really were only two places he could rule out. The first and obvious one being Siyue Town, and the second was the Imperial Capital. Assuming from their discussion back at The Bookstore, there was no reason for a man so heavily against the Emperor, the capital, or even his father to live in such a place.
Which brought him back to square one.
Maybe a hidden shack somewhere in the woods? The kind of place where evil spirits lurk and old men meditate? Tao Hua found himself dumbfounded at the thought of Shan Si playing such a villainous role; weren't villains typically ugly in fairytales? Even more when he thought of him maniacally laughing in the middle of some abandoned temple.
But even that embarrassing thought alone caused a shiver worse than the cold to vibrate down Tao Hua's spine. The idea of living in this forest was already a dreadful thought amid such an already miserable experience crossing through it. There was no sense in making himself feel worse than he already was.
Shan Si was already doing a miraculous job at that—why put someone out of work?
So, Tao Hua just had to sigh in defeat. He had no experience, nor was he familiar with Zhonglai's geography, and his energy would be wasted in trying to imagine anything else. He just had to hope for the best.
Whatever best was at this point. It wasn't looking so hot.
From that point onward, Tao Hua tried to clear his mind just as the trees gradually lessened. The peering moonlight revealed a plenitude of patchy glades piled high with mountains of snow. Had they not been in such a dire situation, Tao Hua could have appreciated the beauty of something so desolate.
But of course, he couldn't; all he could do was grip onto his arms as the wind rushed through each barren tree, whining and twining through the twists and turns of each rattling trunk, howling louder than the wolves off in the distance.
Of course, this wasn't a problem for Shan Si, and he'd overcome anything that posed an obstacle to their journey. Even more impressive, given he hadn't once complained about the cold, compared to Tao Hua, who was sniffling and whimpering the entire time.
As they stood ahead of another pile, Tao Hua shivered, watching Shan Si repeat the same thing thrice. He shot a blast of fire toward another snowpile, his robe fluttering back and somewhat shielding Tao Hua from the impact.
While watching, Tao Hua noticed one small detail. The fire wasn't as extravagant or nearly as strong as it had been earlier when Shan Si did the exact same thing. Compare all those instances to back in Siyue Town, and the difference was stark.
Is he doing it on purpose? Tao Hua thought, following Shan Si through what looked like a parted sea of snow. He removed a hand from one of his arms, watched as his trembling fingers twitched. It's kind of…weird. For someone who burnt down an entire room and an outpost, why couldn't he keep a tiny flame alight?
His lower lip stiffened, and for a moment Tao Hua felt the pang of something dull within his chest. Perhaps he hadn't realized it earlier, but wasn't Shan Si also human?
Unable to withstand the cold anymore, Tao Hua's hand returned to his arms, rubbing aggressively as he watched Shan Si handle that pile—taking longer than usual. He just shook his head again, reminding himself not to think about it too much.
The cold was already too much to bear for this small princess, and it was written precisely in the way his cheeks, nose, and ears all flushed a furious red. He tried to hug onto his robe, shoving his hands into the lapels and against his skin; however, that had frozen slightly from how damp the ice had made it.
All he could feel were ice-cold fingers shivering at the touch of his paler-than-typical skin.
Shan Si turned, holding up his hand, and for the first time said, "Quickly."
Nothing more, just a single word, and he was back to trailing ahead. Tao Hua frowned, and before he started ahead in Shan Si's footsteps, he couldn't help but think back to the face that uttered that single word.
Is he exhausted too…?
What a pitiful thought for someone who just uprooted his entire life in the most cruel and worst way possible. Besides, if this was the way to his estate, then wasn't it best to assume he'd already be prepared for a journey this immense?
Nonsensical thinking.
Well, that's what he wanted to believe, at least.
During Tao Hua's misery, the snow was fierce. It would accumulate further in Shan Si dragged them into the forest, and at some points it nearly reached Tao Hua's knees.
For only being a few hours away from where it was just summer, it was truly a miraculous sight to see so much snow in such a short span of time.
Tao Hua removed his hands from his robe in an attempt to dig himself through those large piles, only for his hands to go completely numb.
Whipping them into his mouth, he tried to use his own saliva just to keep them warm. This was both a bad and a good idea, given that it worked, but at a cost?
The moment he pulled them out of his mouth, his fingers violently trembled against the wintry winds, running colder than they had before he even put them in.
It was awful.
So, he groaned, and he whined, and just like any other person would, he slapped them harshly to his cheeks, feeling nothing but a numbing cold.
To no avail, of course, this was useless energy spent on something with terrible results. But it was enough to grab Shan Si's attention for the first time since they left the grove.
Tao Hua didn't notice this as he was too busy trying to fight with the cold, whipping his hand, trying to shake off what had already frosted against his paler than typical skin.
Then, he would surprise Tao Hua and approach him, causing the fatigued, freezing, fragile princess to clamp his eyes shut, scrunch his shoulders, and lift his hands closer to his head. It was as if he was preparing to be reprimanded by Shan Si, only for Shan Si to just stare at him and his reaction.
He was unreadable, standing amid the chilling air, looking down at Tao Hua for what felt like an eternity. And Tao Hua just returned the favour, staring up at him with a look more terrified than a rabbit in the grasp of a predator.
And the moment Shan Si moved his hand, Tao Hua flinched. But that hand didn't do what he thought it would. It suddenly pressed onto Tao Hua's chest and nearly caused him to choke and vomit; and gently, it pushed him back at the ignite of a small explosion flashing the underside of his lids white. The sound was one similar to what he'd heard at both Siyue Town's outpost and his bedroom.
Tao Hua slowly peeked open an eye to find the path ahead cleared. Then, he glanced down at the fingers that slowly removed themselves from Tao Hua's chest.
After his hand had finally removed itself, Shan Si turned and started down the path without a word, leaving Tao Hua utterly dumbfounded.
It was as if the snow had crystallized him into a statue; he wasn't sure what to do or think of this man. But the lingering warmth of Shan Si's burning hand remained on his skin for a few minutes more.
Was this the same man who completely dismantled his entire dream?
Chapter end