The night felt quieter than usual.
Maybe it was just me.
I lay on my bed, staring at the ceiling, still dressed in my loose home clothes, too tired to move, yet unable to sleep. The events of the day replayed endlessly in my mind, laughter, voices, congratulations… and the emptiness in between.
Graduation was supposed to feel like an ending worth celebrating.
So why did it feel like I had lost something instead?
I turned to my side, pulling the blanket slightly closer. My room was dim, lit only by the faint glow of the desk lamp. Everything was still.
Too still.
And in that silence, my thoughts drifted back to him again.
Liu Yifan.
It always comes back to you, doesn't it?
I let out a soft breath, closing my eyes for a moment. But instead of sleep, memories came.
Uninvited. Relentless.
Slowly, I reached out toward my bedside drawer. For a moment, my hand hesitated. Then, as if guided by something I couldn't explain, I pulled it open.
Inside lay a camera.
Old, but carefully kept.
My fingers brushed against it gently before lifting it out, as if I was afraid it might disappear if I held it too tightly. I hadn't touched it in so long.
Not because I forgot.
But because I remembered too well.
This camera… you gave it to me. On your graduation day.
And somehow, it became the only place where I could still talk to you.
A faint, bittersweet smile touched my lips.
Whenever I missed you… I would turn it on.
Not to take pictures.
But to record.
Fragments of words I could never say out loud. Feelings I didn't understand at first, yet kept returning, again and again.
Years passed like that.
And this camera quietly held them all.
My grip tightened slightly as the memory began to surface, clear and vivid, like it had been waiting for this moment all along. I lowered my gaze, my thumb tracing the edges of the camera.
"…Liu Yifan," I whispered softly.
My voice was barely audible in the quiet room.
"I miss you… do you know that?"
There was no answer.
Of course there wasn't.
Yet I still spoke, as if somewhere, somehow, you might hear me.
For a moment, I hesitated… then slowly pressed the power button.
The screen flickered to life.
It felt familiar.
Too familiar.
Like reopening a part of my heart I had kept hidden for years.
"I still remember the first day we met…"
A faint smile touched my lips, fragile and distant.
"…even if I can't remember every detail perfectly."
I shifted slightly, hugging the camera closer to me before setting it in front of me, as if it were quietly listening.
"That day… I was in my classroom."
The memory began to unfold, clearer with every word.
"It was just an ordinary day. I was sitting at my desk, probably not paying attention like always…"
A soft breath escaped me.
"And then suddenly… you appeared."
My eyes lowered, as if I could see it happening right in front of me.
"You stood at the door and asked, 'Who is Zhu Hua?'"
I paused.
My fingers tightened unconsciously.
"You came looking for me because my brother asked you to."
A small, almost helpless laugh escaped my lips.
"He had brought my lunch from home because I forgot it… but instead of coming himself, he sent you."
That was just like him.
But back then, none of that mattered.
Because for the first time, I saw you.
And something changed.
"I don't know why," I whispered. "Out of everyone in that moment… my eyes only stopped on you."
The room fell silent again, filled only with the quiet sound of my breathing.
"I didn't understand it back then."
How could I?
I was just fourteen.
Too young to know what that feeling meant.
Too young to realize that moment would stay with me for years.
I slowly closed my eyes, holding the camera closer.
"…and that was the first time I met you."
A pause. Soft. Lingering.
"And maybe…"
My voice softened into a whisper.
"…that was the beginning of everything."