đź–¤ Chapter: What I Didn't See
Jayjay's POV
I wake up tired.
But it feels worse than just tired.
---
My body feels heavy.
My head too.
---
I sit up slowly.
The room spins a little.
---
"…I'm fine," I whisper to myself.
Like that fixes it.
---
It doesn't.
---
Still, I get ready.
Because I always do.
---
🌙 Morning
The house is louder than my head can handle.
Voices. Movement. Life.
---
Ciel notices first.
"Jay? You okay?"
---
I nod quickly.
"I'm fine."
---
But even I hear how weak it sounds.
---
I sit down.
Food is there.
I look at it.
And I can't.
---
I push it slightly away.
Not dramatically.
Just… I don't want it.
---
đź–¤ Keifer's POV
I notice immediately.
---
She didn't eat.
Again.
---
But something else is different.
---
She's slower.
Quieter.
Not herself.
---
"Jay," I call softly.
---
She looks up.
"…yeah?"
---
Her eyes don't fully focus on me.
That's what makes me pause.
---
"Did you sleep properly?" I ask.
---
She nods.
"Yeah."
---
Lie.
---
But I don't argue.
Not today.
---
Because something feels wrong.
Not emotional distance anymore.
Something physical too.
---
🌙 Later
She's sitting on the sofa.
Leaning slightly back.
Tired.
---
I walk closer.
Slow.
Careful.
---
"Jay."
---
She looks at me again.
"…what?"
---
Her voice is thinner than yesterday.
---
"You're sick," I say quietly.
---
She shakes her head.
"I'm okay."
---
But when she stands—
she sways slightly.
---
And I move before thinking.
Catch her wrist gently.
---
"Sit."
---
She hesitates.
Then does.
But—
there it is.
That small push.
Not hard.
Not angry.
Just… distance.
Like she doesn't want to be held.
---
I notice.
And I stay quiet.
---
đź–¤ Keifer's POV
I sit near her.
Not too close.
Not far.
Just there.
---
She doesn't look at me.
Just stares at her hands.
---
And I realize—
she doesn't feel safe leaning in anymore.
---
Because of me.
---
That thought sits heavy.
---
🌙 Later — Night
She falls asleep on the couch.
Exhausted.
Breathing uneven.
---
I stay nearby.
Watching.
---
Then I notice it.
Her bag.
Open slightly.
Notebook visible.
---
I hesitate.
I shouldn't.
---
But something pulls me.
---
Carefully, I take it.
---
đź–¤ Jayjay's Diary
The pages are messy.
Not in handwriting.
In feelings.
---
> "He said I did well…"
> "I think I believed him more than I should've."
---
My chest tightens.
---
Next page.
---
> "I miss when trying didn't feel like I was wrong."
---
Another.
---
> "Why is Liam in my head more than him when I'm hurt?"
---
I stop.
---
My grip tightens slightly on the notebook.
---
Because I understand now.
---
This isn't anger.
---
It's confusion.
Pain she didn't know how to explain.
---
And I was part of it.
---
đź–¤ Keifer's POV
I close the notebook slowly.
Hands shaking slightly.
---
Not from anger.
From realization.
---
I look at her sleeping.
---
And I whisper:
"…I didn't see it."
---
My voice breaks slightly.
---
I sit down beside her.
Carefully.
---
Then gently take her hand.
---
She doesn't wake up fully.
Just shifts slightly.
---
I hold it anyway.
---
And I press it to my forehead.
---
For a moment… I just breathe there.
Quiet.
Heavy.
---
Then I whisper:
> "I didn't know your pain…"
A pause.
---
"…I'm sorry."
---
And I don't stop it.
---
A tear falls.
Silent.
---
Jayjay's POV (sleeping)
I feel warmth.
Faint.
---
But I don't wake up.
---
Just… stay still.
---
đź–¤ Keifer's POV
I don't leave.
Not tonight.
---
Because for the first time—
I understand something clearly.
---
This wasn't her being distant.
---
This was her protecting what was left of her feelings.
---
And I was the one she needed protection from.
I stay there beside her.
Holding her hand.
Quietly.
---
Not fixing.
Not forcing.
Just… staying.
---
Because I finally understand—
---
Before I can win her back…
I have to stop being the reason she left.