Mood: One more "accidental" touch and I'm calling Occupational Safety and Health Administration. Current Status: Contemplating a career as a hermit.
01:00 PM: I walked into the archives to find the Head of Legal (Alpha) and his "Assistant" (Omega) rearranging the filing cabinets into a circular fortification. They called it "Creating a Safe Space." I called it "A Fire Hazard and a Violation of Section 4 of the Employee Handbook."
01:15 PM: They tried to growl at me to keep me away from their "territory." I simply put another ban for 'unfiltered nesting' this time for all rooms.
02:30 PM: Mr. Kim asked me why the office felt "sterile" he couldn't smell any pheremones. I told him it's because we are a Fortune 500 company, not a wildlife preserve. He looked confused, as if the it was a foreign dialect.
05:00 PM: Received a $1,000 "Discretion Bonus" because I didn't tell the Board of Directors that the CEO spent the entire afternoon trying to track a "mysterious, sweet scent" that turned out to be a strawberry-scented air freshener.
Daily Win: I've started selling "Scent-Blocking Patches" out of my desk drawer for a 300% markup. The Omegas are buying them like hot cakes. I dont understand why most of them dont seem to wear them on a daily basis. My side-hustle is thriving.