Chapter 67: Casually Leeching Saitama's Combat EXP.
....
"Come on, don't be shy—make yourself at home!"
While saying that, Saitama was anything but polite with his actions.
His chopsticks blurred into afterimages as he instantly dumped an entire box of premium marbled beef into the bubbling red hot pot. Barely seven seconds later, he scooped up a massive portion and shoved it straight into his mouth.
If Kihara hadn't imagined it, that swing just now might've broken the sound barrier.
"Saitama… take it easy. There are still four more boxes."
"MMMPH—!!!"
Saitama wanted to slow down.
But the moment the beef touched his tongue, the rich, buttery aroma exploded in his mouth. It melted effortlessly, sliding down his throat like liquid gold.
How was he supposed to not devour it?
Just as the two happily enjoyed their hot pot.
A familiar summer "guest" landed on Saitama's shiny head.
A mosquito.
"Smack!"
Another sonic boom echoed.
And yet, the mosquito survived.
It buzzed louder, almost mockingly, as if saying:
You can't hit me.
Saitama's deadpan eyes sharpened instantly.
"You… came here just to ruin my marbled beef experience, didn't you?"
"Bzzzz—"
Veins bulged on his smooth scalp.
With a furious expression, he slammed his chopsticks down and launched into a high-speed battle against the mosquito. The room filled with rapid-fire smack-smack-smack sounds.
Kihara watched, amused.
Eventually, the mosquito suddenly flew out through the balcony.
as if responding to some kind of call.
"Hey! Don't run! Let's settle this properly!"
Completely fired up, Saitama jumped straight after it.
Kihara stood up leisurely.
"Guess I'll follow… maybe I can snag the Mosquito Girl kill."
His system didn't require him to personally land the final blow to gain experience.
Kill-stealing worked just fine.
If only I could bring someone like Yukari Yakumo here… I'd max out in no time.
By the time he caught up, the battlefield was already ablaze.
Genos was locked in combat with Mosquito Girl.
The air reeked of burnt metal and scorched earth. Heat waves distorted the surroundings, and the ground itself had turned into charred wasteland—clear evidence of Genos's overwhelming firepower.
"Kihara? What are you doing here?" Saitama asked.
"I couldn't just sit in your house and finish all that beef alone, right?"
"Fair enough! Don't worry—I'll protect you!"
Saitama proudly puffed his chest out… despite the fact that his clothes had already been burned away.
Kihara pointed upward.
"You might want to deal with her first. If that cyborg self-destructs, the shockwave might flip your hot pot."
"That's unacceptable!"
Saitama instantly switched to serious mode.
In the next moment—
he appeared beside Mosquito Girl, who was busy taunting Genos.
and casually slapped her.
BOOM.
She exploded into a cloud of blood mist.
"…What?"
Genos froze.
The opponent he had risked everything to fight…
was just casually swatted away by a bald man.
"Wait!"
After crashing to the ground like scrap metal, Genos called out desperately:
"Sir with the… unusual flesh-colored headgear! Please tell me your name!"
"Saitama."
"Please accept me as your disciple!"
"Kihara, let's go back. I think I left two slices of beef in the pot… they're definitely overcooked now!"
"Isn't it fine? You still have four boxes."
"…Right! Thank goodness you brought so much!"
Later…
After returning home, Kihara noticed something strange.
His combat skill EXP… had increased.
Even though, he hadn't fought at all.
"Wait… what?"
That night, while he and Yume were being all lovey-dovey.
Even feeding each other his EXP continued to rise.
That's impossible.
Combat skills should only level up through fighting.
Then suddenly—
a realization hit him.
"…Don't tell me… after Saitama considers me a friend… I get EXP from his kills too?"
His eyes lit up.
This was better than calling in overpowered allies.
He had just boarded the ultimate carry.
Saitama—the strongest "smurf account" in existence.
Leveling up while lying down?
Now that was the dream.
Man… Saitama really is a good guy.
The Next Morning
Ring—Ring—
Kihara groggily picked up his phone.
"Hello…?"
"Kihara! Help me!!"
"Saitama? What happened?"
"That weird cyborg showed up at my house! He refuses to leave—keeps insisting I teach him how to get stronger!"
"…So just take him as your disciple?"
"But he's a robot! I'm human! How am I supposed to teach him?!"
"…Alright, stay there. I'm coming."
"Hurry!! I can't hold on much longer!"
After hanging up, Kihara poked the cheek of the girl in his arms.
"Stop pretending to sleep, lazy girl. I'm heading out—coming with me?"
"No… I'll stay home."
Ever since learning that Watchdog Man guarded the area nearby, Yume felt much safer staying behind.
She had already decided.
if she couldn't fight, she would at least become the best support possible.
Cooking. Housework. Even studying fashion and… certain "traditional techniques."
Her entire focus was now on Kihara.
At Saitama's Apartment.
Before even entering, Kihara heard a loud shout inside.
"What's wrong with being bald?! This is the symbol of my hard work!"
The door burst open from a gust of wind.
Kihara stepped in with a grin.
"There's a saying: 'I became bald, and I became stronger.' That's exactly someone like you—someone who achieved strength through pure effort."
"Exactly!" Saitama nodded enthusiastically. "See? That's how you talk!"
Genos tilted his head.
"'Reading the atmosphere'… should I install a spectral analysis system in my eyes?"
Saitama buried his face in his hands.
"…Kihara. I give up. Please help me deal with him."
Kihara turned to Genos.
"Why do you want to become stronger?"
Genos straightened.
"Would you be willing to hear my story?"
"Keep it under ten words." ×2
"…My hometown was destroyed. Revenge. Find the enemy."
"Good reason," Kihara nodded. "You should accept him."
"WHAT?!"
Saitama jumped three feet into the air.
"Whose side are you on?!"
.....
Thank you for reading.