Spider-Man's eyes snapped open as his senses sharpened. His spider-sense wasn't as simple as a danger alarm.
The world around him slowed down, and he processed information much faster than before.
He knew a bullet had been fired, but there was no sound of the shot, and no one was around.
To figure out where it came from, he traced its trajectory and deduced that it was fired from a higher altitude, leading him to conclude that the shooter was a sniper.
'Alright, let's make the fucking chimichangas,' he thought, grabbing Wade by the neck and pushing him down as time returned to normal and the bullet that had been heading toward him missed entirely.
"Stay down!"
"What was that?!"
"A sniper!"
"No! Those strange vibrations around your head!"
"Wait, what?! You can see my spider-sense?!"
"Is that what you call it?! Spider-Sense?!"
"Is this really the time to start discussing that?!"
"When's the time going to be then?!"
"What if we both shut up and run away?"
"It works for me! Run!"
They kept joking around while they jumped and dodged bullets.
'Damn, the bulletproof vest only protects me from pistols, not revolvers or snipers, or any weapon with a rapid rate of fire — miniguns or Uzis. I need to upgrade this suit ASAP,'
Spider-Man thought, grabbing Wade and jumping off the building.
"Idiot! We're going to die! I should have asked someone else to save me!"
He groaned at the growing headache forming behind his eyes and began swinging through the darker areas to avoid being seen.
"¡Mi Héroe! ¡Podemos volar! ¡I Believe I Can Fly! ¡I Believe I Can To—"
"Wade, shut up or I'll drop you."
"..."
~Damn, I knew Parker's good luck wouldn't last forever,~ he complained to himself as he swung through progressively darker sections of the city, avoiding the lit areas and the sight lines, and descended on the Empire State Building roof with considerably less ceremony than the location deserved.
Landing on top of the Empire State Building, he let go of Wade and he sat against the wall.
"I've never been here before," Wade said. "It's so romantic. We should be a couple. What do you say, Spidey."
"Wade."
"Yes?"
"Please jump off the building," Spider-Man said, very politely. "You're getting annoying, so do it willingly before I force myself to throw you off myself."
"Wade promises to be a good boy from now on."
"I hope so."
It was a good thing I read a bit about Maggia in my past life, otherwise I'd still be in that place interrogating Wade and possibly with a gunshot wound.
Sigh. Now that I think about it, how I miss reading my comics. I spent a lot of money on them. It's a good thing I put in my will that all my things and my comics, both Marvel and DC, should go to my sister.
She and I were almost the same; I was a Marvel fanatic and she was a DC fanatic. I also miss fucking that tight pussy and ass. My idiot parents thought that when we moved into an apartment together it was to save money.
Ha, fools! It was so Ana could moan my name without the neighbors hearing us and telling them.
It seems I brought my incestuous fetish into this life too. I wonder how my incestuous girlfriend sister is doing?
I hope she's living a life of luxury since some of my comics were originals; at least I know I took her virginity when she was 16 and that I was fucking her for 5 years.
"What happened there?" Wade asked.
"Is this the first time you've encountered these people who work for Maggia?" Spider-Man said.
"Oh, not really. I've been investigating these little bastards for two weeks now. Why?"
"Please tell me you were stealthy when you did it."
"I was stealthy," Wade commented, "as stealthy as a rock band trying to rob a museum in the middle of the night with severe ADHD problems."
"Urgh. I had to guess."
"What?"
"What do you mean by 'What?' They were expecting you. You've been chasing their guys for two weeks and of course they're not going to just sit idly by," Spider-Man said while rubbing his forehead in frustration.
"Really?"
"It's not that hard to figure out. You're a former special agent, you should know how this works."
"Wow."
"Come on, we have to find your employer before they find her and kill her."
"How are we going to find her? Even I don't know who she is. You're just being paranoid," Wade said, patting him on the back, just to be infuriating, something very few had managed to do.
"First of all, Genius, you weren't subtle enough or rather, you weren't subtle at all during your investigation, and you didn't even bother to hide your face. Now they know who you are. Second, you're not using a secure line," Spider-Man said as he took Wade's phone and waved it in his face.
"Just because I have the technology to trace the call doesn't mean they don't either."
"Shit."
"Exactly. Now if we don't go look for her, it's certain that they'll kill her."
"But how are we going to find her in this city? She could be anywhere."
"It could be, but it isn't. Your employer must be an authoritarian figure with a personal vendetta against the Maggia and connections.
Now wait until I find out who she is and we'll go find her."
He touched a part of the mask which was a mechanism to prevent anyone from listening to his conversations. "Cortana?"
"Yes, boss?"
"I need you to find someone."
"Understood. To whom?"
"Look for an authority figure where you can get information on mercenaries or something like that. Also start hacking the phone that can shorten the search exponentially."
"Okay, wait...."
"I found 30 officers with the parameters you were looking for. Along with the phone information I can narrow that range, but it won't be much since the other phone was a disposable one."
"Ok."
"But I can shorten the list to only search for officers who live near that range."
"Do it."
"The search has been narrowed down to 5 officers. Do you want me to name them for you?"
"Yes."
"John Ramirez, Marcus Fletcher, Samantha Crowell, Ramires Boyle, Yuriko Watanabe."
"Wait, look up Yuriko Watanabe's address."
"Done," she said, then showed him the address.
"You're the best, beautiful," he replied with a smile.
"Thank you."
Once he found what he wanted, he pressed a part of the mask again to start talking to Wade.
"I found her."
"Wow! So fast! And tell me, who is she? The mayor's wife?"
"She's a police officer and her name is Yuriko Watanabe."
....