"So soon into the school year, Draco."
It was not unusual for his godson to visit Severus office, both with questions and simply to talk at times, although on a weekend was a tad out of the normal for sure. Draco was still young, and he'd made new friends (don't remind him) so after the boring summer he was often running around doing children things and pretending to play snake amongst other children learning to be clever—or not—so the amount of time he spent on his studies was typically lower. Particularly on their days off when he could be studying with his housemates, not cooped up getting lessons on complex potions in the dark dungeons. Draco didn't mind the dungeons, but he definitely took after his mother in that spending an afternoon outside or by a window going about his activities was the preference.
Besides, he knew Severus used his Saturdays to get down to brewing without most interruptions, particularly the potions needed to restock the hospital wing, which was not even that interesting since Draco had mastered those years ago. He had only ever visited on weekends in the previous year due to upcoming midterms or finals, so given the term was still just starting to get into the swing of things, clearly something was amiss.
Especially since Draco did not precisely look thrilled to be there as he softly closed the door behind him. The boy often forgot to guard his expression around him when it was just them in the office, which was both encouraging for Severus personally, if not a bad sign for his godson's future as a Slytherin. He was still on the fence about correcting that habit or not just yet, or waiting another year. He wasn't a teenager yet, but he would be soon… and if that didn't make Severus feel old he wasn't sure what would.
"I'm not here for lessons," Draco grimaced slightly, causing Severus to raise one eyebrow in interest. Must be interesting if he hesitated in sharing with even him. "I need for me and Harry to be excused for a day for my father to take us to Gringotts."
Severus stared.
At this moment, Draco didn't know about his… difficulty, with the Potter brat. Of course he knew damn well that he did not like Harry Potter, but he was not… fully educated on Severus' very personal conflict over the Potter part of that—not necessarily for any of the more obvious reasons concerning the brat's fame.
And if Severus got his way, Draco would never know just how petty his godfather truly was.
This though.
This was alarming for several reasons.
Not least of which being Draco just coming out and saying what he was here for and confessing outright what he was after. If he didn't know better he would say the boy was hanging out with Gryffindors too much, and let's just say for his sanity he was going to assume that was not the case.
Severus gave up ruminating and decided he needed more information first.
"Oh?" he challenged after the lengthy silence, raising an eyebrow to prompt him to elaborate. Draco… did not do that though, he simply pressed his lips into a thin line and shifted his posture a bit uncomfortably where he stood. It didn't take Severus long to figure it out. "You don't want to tell me."
He scoffed a bit brashly. "I'm under no illusions you won't find out, but honestly no, I don't."
That is way too honest for any godson of mine, Severus thought in distaste. He didn't much like honesty, to be frank.
"Well I'm not exactly inclined to just let a student out of Hogwarts because they forgot something at home."
"I am not-!" But before Draco could get it out he realized he was just being provoked and quickly reeled it in, visibly forcing himself to remain calm. "If you won't then I know McGonagall would at least let Harry go. And that's what's important—I just want to go too." He demanded.
Severus would've scoffed at the meager ploy. While it was true, Minerva had been on a warpath since the start of the school year and his normal sarcastic comments about the Potter brat were earning him a lot of glares all of a sudden, it wasn't enough to threaten him. For ten years she'd remained silent on his blatant favoritism, and had been startlingly ruthless as the lioness she was when he dared get close to the implication that she'd fallen into the trap of having a favorite student. Just because he'd felt the need to point it out didn't mean he held her hypocrisy against her, given how lenient she'd been on him for over a decade.
That it was the Potter brat she'd picked was absolutely loathsome, but he… grudgingly was adult enough to realize that she had never actually favored James Potter. As a teacher now, and looking back on his own school days, Minerva had only ever been fair and impartial, even with the Original Potter MigraineTM despite how much he hated to admit that to himself. Being impartial had been bad enough, but she'd never favored him.
She was favoring this Potter though, and while he was undoubtedly curious he was also going to his grave denying it. He was content enough to tell himself it was because the child was apparently a Transfiguration prodigy and call it a day (the smarter Slytherin side of him knew that was only scratching the surface but was determined not to care enough to look into it either).
It was true though, that this year Minerva had suddenly gotten a lot worse. She was no longer just disappointed in his attitude towards the brat or clicking her tongue when he said something at a staff meeting—now she was calling him out and ripping into his own behavior in front of the entire damn faculty and Dumbledore himself if he opened the floor for a fight. The last soured meeting had ended rather quickly without them getting much business done as Albus hadn't seemed to be able to control their sharp back and forth—Severus would not let her get the last word in on his pride as a Slytherin, and Minerva's long-buried temper was not going to take that peacefully either.
He'd learned quickly that if he kept his mouth shut, so would she. Staff meetings had been very quiet lately as a result.
He was also careful to note neither he nor Minerva were reprimanded for bickering like children at a staff meeting and it further cemented his evidence that Dumbledore was simply useless as a headmaster.
Even with all this going on in the background that he was sure Draco had no idea about, the idea his godson would try and use his rivalry with Gryffindor, and their head of house by proxy, to try and convince him of something so radical without any better evidence was pitiful.
Draco wanted him to think of the reputation… if his own godson went to the head of Gryffindor house instead of his own godfather for help, for shame…
If only Severus cared about his reputation like that. If Draco wanted to be a brat and demand things and they try and play to another teacher to get his way, then he hadn't learned anything so far as Severus was concerned. Draco's reputation is the one that would take a hit—everyone knew Professor Snape was a strict old bat and that he was always more likely to say no than anything else, but if Draco went to Gryffindor for his help, that most certainly wouldn't help his reputation among fellow snakes.
"Well we don't always get what we want. Go ask the cat then." He called the bluff confidently and watched in amusement as Draco's jaw flexed, frustrated. "Oh? The cat not suitable enough for you?"
"…McGonagall would let him go, but then Harry'd have to be alone with Mother and he's not a fan of that. I want to go too." He admitted.
Severus' first thought was, smart boy.
Then he abruptly remembered who they were talking about and shook that off quickly. It didn't meananything that him and the Potter brat just so happened to be in total agreement that hanging around alone with Narcissa Malfoy was unpleasant as hell. That was just common sense, the boy would be absolutely braindead if he didn't feel that way.
And at the very least Lily was his mother. He was an idiot fool like his father, but Lily's son was not braindead.
He shoved those thoughts down for later inspection—and by later he meant never.
"I fail to see how that's my problem." He sniffed again, moving like he was going to return to grading the homeworks in front of him and not concern himself with this conversation any longer.
"Do you like being difficult!?"
"Draco." He scolded halfheartedly, reminding him he was a teacher when he considered talking like that, and the boy gave an annoyed groan but cooled it a bit.
He pressed his lips together and audibly tapped his foot on the ground as he wrestled with something… before seeming to reluctantly give in.
"…he needs to take a blood test." He finally admitted.
But Severus… just lifted his head to give him a deadpan stare.
"He's a Potter." He reminded him bluntly. No stupid blood test needed for that shit.
"Yeah I'm pretty aware of that, but I think we all missed something." He snapped back, shifting his weight uncomfortably once more. "Please?"
He was pretty much just begging, and Severus gave up on trying to teach him cleverness for today. There was too much to work on with this horrible tactic and decided that was a future problem of his to deal with.
"It's not that easy. Dumbledore is watching the boy closely and I could get the floo approval, but the Headmaster will know, and he will question. Did you consider that?"
Draco paused and thought that over, Severus just letting him work it out and legitimately going back to grading his papers now in the silence.
Eventually the blond slumped a bit in defeat.
"I suppose the Headmaster will find out eventually, if Harry gets his way about not hiding this like the stupid bloody Gryffindor he is." He confessed, sounding annoyed to hell about it too, which only further peaked the interest in what the hell this was all about.
"He doesn't want to keep it a secret, so why are you?"
"Because he at least agreed to keep it quiet until we know more about what the hell is going on! Hence the blood test!"
"And what riveting detail about the pompous Potters does not everyone know already?" He intoned dryly, and Draco even opened his mouth to snap back before shutting it sharply with a click.
"You're trying to provoke me!"
"I see the Zabini boy has taught you at least that much."
"Argh!"
He tossed his hands up in aggravation before crossing them over his chest, tapping his foot against the floor again as he tried to think how to approach this. And he thought… and thought…
And Severus barely managed not to roll his eyes as he turned back to his work and let his godson pout in his silence.
A silence which was indeed quite long as a significant amount of minutes stretched by. Occasionally he'd glance up to see Draco as frustrated as ever, with no visible progress.
It was therefore a bit intrusive when the blond gave an annoyed huff loud enough to forcibly pull Severus from his thoughts he'd gotten distracted by, and he looked up one final time to see his godson walk up to his desk—shoulders slumped in something like defeat.
Whatever Severus thought Draco was about to say, to be frank he was not prepared.
"You know, I think Harry was right about you." He announced, in a rather disappointed tone that send a chill straight up the potion master's spine.
Severus' mind went blank.Wait what? What has that brat been saying about me!?
Not that he cared of course but—wait what!?
Luckily he managed to keep his face straight and at his blank expression Draco continued without needing any more prompting. Which was good because Severus needed an answer about what the bloody hell this approach was, but he was very much not in the right frame of mind to actually say something for a solid couple of seconds.
"I do appreciate that you talk to me like an adult, but I'm not and I'm not going to outwit you into getting what I want because you've got a lot more experience being a Slytherin than I do at this moment. I don't have anything worth trading and aside from leaning on my father I don't have anything you want aside from being your student." He tilted his head, grey eyes chillingly familiar in a way Severus was not thrilled to realize he recognized as they met his gaze square on, unwaveringly. "I am not trying to beat you in a game of wits right now, I am asking you to please help me help my friend. As nothing more than my teacher and my godfather."
What… the hell.
Severus felt… cold.
Not only was he totally taken off guard by this he just… what?
"You lack subtly." He might not have been the best professor out there, but when it came to Draco he always defaulted into teacher mode. That was safe—this conversation wasn't though.
"I know that. I'm pretty bloody aware of all my flaws as a Slytherin, all of which have been made abundantly clear by literally everyone at this point, I don't need to hear it again right now." Draco rolled his eyes, tone dismissive and impatient. "I didn't come in here for a lesson, but if you want to teach me things so badly then tell me this: why is it so hard to understand I'm not here as a Slytherin right now!?"
The implication of course being that… Draco could be more than a Slytherin.
That he could turn being Slytherin off, and be here as someone… not that.
Not familiar to Severus, at least. Never let it be said that he had ever understood people, he just had a better handle on the rules of playing the Slytherin game than anything else since being social had never been his forte. Which was a nicer way of saying he'd rather drink his first-years' horrible potions and accept the consequences to his health than make smalltalk with literally anyone if he could possibly get away with it.
But what could a boy raised by two very Slytherin parents, neck deep in the politics of Slytherin house, taught since he could properly talk by a man who was head of Slytherin house itself be, if not a Slytherin?
There was nothing he hated more than the unknown, and this was uncharted territory. From a very surprising source at that.
Ah… but it shouldn't be. I'm an idiot.
He had been trying so hard to ignore the Potter menace, with some amount of success at that, that the fact Draco was caught up in the whole horrible situation hadn't fully sunk in. He'd been so focused around the idea of what was happening in his own world, suffering silently through his own personal slow-motion meltdown, of not trampling too hard on Draco's optimism, of not feeling a damn thing if he could help it…
Well, he hadn't put together the actual implications of what he was trying to do by considering Draco's wants as he went about an befriended a Gryffindor.
And that was the key—Harry Potter was a Gryffindor.
Seems blatantly obvious but he'd been sitting at the Slytherin table so often and had such an unfathomably comfortable position in the snake house these days, it was almost easy to forget he was, inherently, not one of them.
Severus now knew about the Montague incident and why his students were letting the accursed brat into the Slytherin dorm. He'd ignored it because… well for one no, and for two, Narcissa Malfoy and for some fucking reason Dalia Zabini had commanded it to be so and he was a petty man, not stupid. Despite wanting to pour lemon juice in his eyes rather than witness Harry Potter being brought into his own house, he kept his mouth firmly shut about it and had no opinion either way. Because if he had an opinion, he was rightfully paranoid enough to know Dalia Zabini would somehow know and that he would sorely regret that eventually. Skilled Occlumens aside, he'd locked everything related to that up tight and just buried it.
But his planned ignorance of all of this for the sake of his sanity had backfired since Draco was right in the middle of it all, as an active participant.
And all of this was so that Draco could maybe end up happier.
Happier.
As in, not the same.
Different.
Not a selfish Slytherin who found comfort in the darkness of a dungeon rather than people. Someone who'd befriended a redheaded Gryffindor and kept them despite politics and rivalries and diverging personalities and goals and… life really. Draco was not following Severus' footsteps because the adults in his life who cared about him were doing their best to give him chances to choose differently than what Severus had been forced to do. Forced—more just pressured by life and him not being nearly strong or brave enough to fight back.
But Draco had been born with the entire world handed to him on a silver platter and he was brave enough to do whatever the hell he wanted, because he had never been told he couldn't. And he'd been trained since birth like a Slytherin but… he'd befriended a Gryffindor. That just didn't happen, not necessarily just because of house pressures to hate each other, but because the two personality types of the sorts who got placed in each house really were rather different. Even objectively, a calm, collected, and ambitious student didn't typically make a ton of friends with overly loud, thick-headed goofballs. That being the stereotype though, didn't make it any less true generally.
Draco, a boy given everything, looked at the world around him and picked a Gryffindor, out of literally anything he could've had. It clearly wasn't the easiest life decision ever, but that only made it even clearer that Draco had wanted this and then was fully aware of how he needed to fight for it, given all the opposition he'd faced thus far. It wasn't like he was a brand new firstie anymore who didn't know any better—he now fully understood the gravity of his decision, or at least had a better idea of it, and still, he wasn't swayed.
Draco was serious about befriending a Gryffindor.
It hadn't even crossed Severus' mind to seriously question why.
Yeah, last year the little crush had been obvious, that was a given that Severus himself was more than familiar with but…
Why had he loved Lily? Why had they fallen apart?
Why was Draco so steadfast on standing by the Potter brat? Even if Severus could perhaps assume the answer to that correctly, what he didn't know then… was whyweren't they falling apart like he and Lily had?
By this conversation… Severus got an uneasy feeling the answer was one in the same with why Draco would end up happier if he got his way. Why this was even possible, why he chose a Gryffindor, why it was actually working so far…
Because Draco, at the core of it, was in fact not a Slytherin like Severus knew them to be.
He was still a snake of course but… Draco could be more than a Slytherin, to the point where he could catch the attention of a Gryffindor and hold onto it. Where he could branch farther than just the snake house, and start connecting to people in ways that was in no way like a traditional Slytherin ever would.
Because that's what this was: this was a piss poor approach to an argument going by snake standards. Announcing what you wanted? Appealing to his more compassionate side? To their familial-like link?
Pathetic.
For a snake, that is.
Severus was sure that it worked perfectly against Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs though.
And Narcissa's eyes were much bluer, but the last time someone had pinned his gaze like that and compelled to his compassion with the same echo of why can you not understand… he'd ended up being a godfather even knowing full well it was just a trap.
Now, he was fully, completely sunk into said trap, and he suddenly felt a wave of helplessness about that.
Whether Draco knew what he was doing now or not… Severus was sure he did not want to know which it was right now. What mattered now was that he had two choices: give in to this tactic and let it win, or hold firm and continue to say no until he had a better snake-like argument.
With this revelation under his belt though, what he suspected now was that Draco's bluff of going to Minerva wasn't a bluff at all, and if he pushed the boy too far he was just impulsive and petty enough to go through with it. That would be… annoying. He then had to gauge just how far was too far to push him then.
Or… he could give in, and turn the tactic right around onto Draco. Compel to the trust he placed in his godfather, to obtain an answer. Depending on the answer given for why he needed to leave Hogwarts, he could maybe make it work somehow. Lucius was going to get involved of course, he could even use the favor gifted to the son to cash in something from the father while earning more credibility in Draco's eyes. A win-win, for all but Lucious which is exactly what the prick deserved in Severus' opinion.
He knew he was silent for a bit too long as he thought that over, and concluded his thoughts by nodding calmly once.
"You do make a fair point. I will help you as your teacher." Draco sighed in relief, and Severus jumped at the chance. "But just as seriously, I don't understand why the secrecy. No one will know of it if I don't want them to, and you've made it clear you don't want them to." He referenced his being an accomplished Occlumens, and true to form the boy looked a tad guilty at the mention of his lack of trust. He was too easy to read, and now that he was letting his emotions get involved in his actions, too easy to manipulate too.
More lessons, for another day.
Draco turned his head to the side, looking conflicted before seeming to come to a reluctant decision, grey eyes flickering at him with something like trepidation. And… pity?
"Okay, that's true. I… didn't want to tell you because it's kind of crazy. Like, really crazy." He paused, worrying at his lip for a moment before sighing audibly. "And I know you and my father have a past with the dark lord so it'll probably be just the worst for you out of everyone."
He winced as he said it, but it paled to the tension that clamped down on Severus shoulders like the hands of death reminding him that it'd never truly left his shadow.
Was… Draco trying to protect him?
Spare him, from the unpleasant information he thought he had?
This… child had… thought of what he'd feel about this topic before anything else.
That was what this was about?
That he thought his godfather would not like to hear this confession of his, and instead of using that to get what he wanted, he'd tried hard to avoid bringing it up instead. Still not a good tactic as he'd confessed himself that everyone would know soon enough but…
Severus put his quill down.
He was not going to be coddled by a twelve-year-old.
"You do realize that means I need to know now."
Draco nodded, face becoming a better blank mask.
"Harry's a parselmouth."
Severus… contemplated his life choices.
"A blood test."
"Yeah. Or maybe it's something else but… we need to know more. Like right now." He got some of his urgency back as he said this, and now…
The potions master agreed.
Full heartedly.
Slytherins hated the unknown. Severus… was starting to realize that dreaded unknown that lay beyond his small world was a lot bigger, and a lot more terrifying than he'd ever imagined.
000
Harry spent a lot of the next several days doing magic.
Fun magic, not homework or research for once.
After the event that was his first visit to the Slytherin dorm, he'd spent the rest of the days lost in his thoughts and… honestly, not that far along in organizing them. He still wasn't sure where he stood with everything but doing something felt better then sitting around the lake and trying to muddle through his hazy thoughts for hours without getting much done with them.
In situations like this he found ignorance was bliss. Draco had promised him he'd figure out how to get him to Gringotts, but until his friend figured that out he was free from the obligation of confronting the topic mentally until Mr. Malfoy announced a date for them to speak to Axeclaw.
Until he heard anything, putting it aside and pursuing a distraction enough to take his mind off it all was all he could do to stop his stomach from being perpetually queasy until he could face this new development head on.
With Draco, preferably, because he wasn't sure he'd be able to without the guy. It felt like his nerve for such things was standing on shaky, baby-giraffe legs and he was seconds away from chickening out if he didn't have someone to pretend to be brave for.
He'd finally made the official request to Pomfrey to be released from his blocks and restrictions, and only had half success. She'd relented that he should be allowed to perform and practice the magic he wanted again, but she'd refused to take the block on his core off for another couple weeks. She'd promised to reassess it if he came back next week until she deemed it ready, but in her opinion he was still three weeks out or so.
He was fine with that though, especially when he'd found a spare classroom to play around in and found that most of what he wanted to do wasn't that hard even with the block in place. It wasn't like he was doing anything but the bare minimum charms they'd been doing so far this year in class, it was more him just finally getting a chance to try and attempt the spells in his joke book. Most of which were 3-5th year spells, and most he found easy enough to do despite his core being blocked.
It only took a couple days to get through every spell in the book, but he then went through them once again with his newfound attitude in learning spells.
Can I do it while running? Can I do it without looking? Can I do it with my wand hidden up my sleeve? How is my aim while moving? What if my target is behind me? What kind of timing does it need to cast, and to reach the target if they're hiding behind that desk?
He was very much neglecting his friends, not to mention his homework. He ate meals with everyone and went to class as usual, but most of the time he'd usually spend hanging out in the common room, studying with others, talking to people, bothering the first years, even running around with the football club, this particular week he spent alone in a classroom with nothing but him and his wand and his mental games as he cast spells at no one and challenged himself in his made-up scenarios to his heart's content.
There was something logical about placing very surmountable challenges in front of him, and being able to conquer them in an hour or so. The feeling of having done something, even many small things, before going to bed at night made him feel like he was making more progress then he actually was.
He was still ignoring a lot of big things in his life, but hey. He'd mastered over a dozen spells in a week, and he was at Hogwarts to learn magic so… he was doing something good even if it was really just a meagerly veiled guise to what amounted to procrastination. Learning magic wasn't in any way wrong but… it really wasn't what he should've been doing with his time.
He was so caught up in not doing what he was supposed to, he also kind of forgot to check back in with the Slytherins—mainly Draco—for news about when the other shoe would drop. Which, may or may not have been on purpose, but it wasn't like he was avoiding the Slytherins in particular—he'd been avoiding everyone actually.
He was reminded of his deadline by an arm draping around him as he walked with his dormmates to lunch Thursday, and there was only one person aside from the twins who were A) tall enough to come from above, and B) friendly enough to do this without fear they'd get bitten.
"Please don't touch me," He grumbled.
"Oh he said please. How cute." Blaise chirped, using the arm around the redhead's neck like an extremely gentle choke hold to steer him away from his intended path towards the Gryffindor table. It would've been very brotherly and affectionate if the source didn't also make it kind of a threat too. "I'm kidnapping you."
"Twice in a week. Alright then Harry?" Dean joked, and Blaise flashed the muggleborn a positively devilish grin.
"He's fine."
"I'd rather hear Harry say it."
Annoyed, said redhead rolled his eyes pointedly because while Dean's words were kind, his tone very much implied he was too amused to be serious about it. "It's fine for now. Any more of this and I'm siccing Fluffy on him though."
"Ha! I now know all about Fluffy now and I'm a great singer I'll have you know. Sing him a lullaby and your threat is gone, you'll have to come up with a new one."
"Who told you about Fluffy!?"
"Wouldn't you like to know," Blaise sneered joyously, using his hold to drag him away once more. "Off we go! I'm hungry in any case."
"Call for help if you need it!" Seamus half shouted after them, also semi-joking apparently given Dean's laugh.
Harry was kind of annoyed his roommates had gotten so used to the Slytherins they no longer cared about him getting kidnapped. Even Neville who hadn't said anything, he just continued walking to the lunch table in a very Nott-like avoidance tactic but didn't seem upset about the sudden change of seating arrangements anymore.
On one hand it was a great thing they seemed very chill with each other; talk about a 180 from how last year had started. Blaise in particular as he was hard not to like, unfortunately.
On the other hand, Blaise getting his way more often spelled doom for them all, Harry was sure of it.
"Saturday, 6am, second floor gargoyle." Draco informed him without even so much as a 'hello' before Harry had even properly sat down next to him. The blond said it quite matter-of-factly, but Harry's stomach sunk as now he had an actual deadline to dread. Luckily it wasn't weeks away, but it would still put a major damper on the rest of his week.
"Right." He sighed, trying not to let his disappointment show too much. Draco had done him a favor, after all.
"What's Saturday?" A new voice chimed in and Harry perked up as Daphne slid into the bench across from him—right next to Blaise who instantly looked ready to dump his tea on her.
"Wouldn't you like to know," Blaise pushed himself into the conversation just to annoy her, and it seemed to work as she shot him a venomous glare.
"Yeah, I would. So spill?"
"Nope."
"Are you even involved?" She demanded and seemed taken aback when Blaise suddenly flailed his arms and whipped back around to Harry with a glare.
"Yeah, I am, and you haven't been here all week to complain about it to! A week you jerk! This might be a new record for how long I've kept a secret!"
Harry was more amused than anything as Draco pinched the bridge of his nose. Apparently this was not new and suddenly Harry had a better excuse as to why he'd been avoiding the Slytherin table than just his coping mechanisms. Even the most skeptical of snakes would have to concede him wanting to avoid Blaise's complaining was probably justified.
"You got what you wanted though. You wanted to trade with Harry and now you are." Theo pointed out without looking up from his book under the table.
"Ugh," Blaise sneered, turning to the red head in front of him with a derisive look. "You really bloody annoy me."
"Welcome to my world," Harry scoffed at the utter hypocrisy of that. "What, don't like our deal?"
"Wait, you're dealing with him?" Daphne perked up, both shocked and annoyed at once.
"Trust me I am not enjoying it." The Zabini immediately dismissed it in irritation. "I'll have you know I have never been blackmailed like this before and I may have to reconsider doing it to everyone else now. It's so not fun."
"No you won't you filthy lair."
Blaise blew him a mocking kiss for that, but Harry's attention was immediately derailed by Daphne slamming her palms against the table, making even the fourth years adjacent to them jump a bit in fright.
"You got blackmail on this bitch?" Her blue eyes widened and before he could open his mouth to say one way or another, she cut over him. "Please, I need it. What is it? I can trade you so much! Whatever you want!"
"Oi!"
"Nope, sorry this one's locked in for now." He gave her a wry smile, to which she immediately cursed under her breath.
"Damn straight." Blaise tilted his chin up pompously, narrowing his eyes back at the resident Gryffindor among them. "We should have never let you into the dorm." He announced for the benefit of no one.
"Not my fault your reasons weren't worth it; you didn't even tell me what they were, remember?"
"Ugh."
"Blaise it'll be like two days. You'll live." Draco dismissed him, sounding fed up with life right then.
"Uuuuuuggggghhh,"
"Although we might not survive his complaining." Theo muttered into his book.
"Put down the book and eat."
"Fuck off, Malfoy."
Harry was a tad surprised at the blunt take from the bookworm but was more amused by the pretty colors Draco turned to be talked to like that. He would've loved to see what outburst was coming before something about the impending appointment with Gringotts hit home with him.
"Wait, Saturday?" He demanded and Draco was derailed slightly enough to answer him instead of letting lose on Nott.
"Yeah?"
"As in Saturday. Quidditch try outs?" Harry reminded him pointedly, bewildered when Draco gave a dramatic, put-upon sigh.
"As much as it pains me to admit, if I miss try outs there's always next year."
"Well shit," Daphne blinked, voicing pretty much Harry's mindset too because… eh!? "Must be… important?" She wondered allowed, noting that neither Zabini nor Nott were shocked about this announcement and after spending a year and change living with the Malfoy heir, they of everyone knew how obsessive he was about quidditch, much less his chance to get on the team.
Harry too, was… conflicted. Yes, this was important but… at the cost of something Draco wanted? He knew he was a bad friend and their friendship had been very one-sided thus far, so to blatantly take this away from his baby cactus seemed… too cruel, even for him. And he had never said he wasn't self-centered.
He wasn't sure he could do this without Draco though.
Logically though…
He steeled himself, hoping his voice sounded a lot more confident then he felt.
"You don't have to-"
"Yes I bloody do, shut up." Draco didn't even let him get the offer out before grey eyes were pinning him under a mild glare. "The only one who doesn't acknowledge how serious this is, is you. Of course I'm coming."
As guilty as he felt, Harry was relieved. He was sure it was pretty obvious to the whole table too, when he didn't actually try to argue for once either, which seemed to only strengthen Draco's resolve.
To ease his guilt though, he could make this worth Draco's while. Fact was, he was a parselmouth and those snakes had spilled a lot of dirt to him, particularly about the quidditch team. He wasn't sure how valuable most of the information was as a lot of it meant nothing to him, but if he could give it Draco freely in exchange for his help on this, maybe he could use it to get on the team anyway.
Blackmail was Slytherin 101 after all, he was sure Draco could do something useful with what he gave him.
"I hate it when you wear that expression." Daphne placed her chin in her hand to mock him and Harry ignored her as he grabbed some food finally since their lunch hour was not endless after all.
"It's less about me blackmailing Blaise and more me wanting to get my way." He defended himself.
"Isn't it always." She sighed, distractedly picking a tomato from her sandwich and promptly dropping it into Blaise's lap when he took a drink of his pumpkin juice.
Theo wisely chose to end his lunch there and simply stood up, walking away without another word.
Harry kind of wanted to follow him.
000
It was much later that Harry lay on Neville's bed while the owner of said bed sat at his desk, writing a letter to his Gran. With what was coming in the morning, Harry's procrastination tactic had run out of steam and he didn't much feel like playing with any more Transfiguration joke spells, but instead was now just wallowing in the feeling of worms squirming uncomfortably in his stomach.
"I'm telling Gran you said hi." Neville mentioned casually, since clearly Harry was out of sorts but the blond was far too genteel to outright ask him what was wrong.
"Hi Neville's Gran." He repeated blankly, automatically even. "I want to meet her someday."
"So you said. Still not sure how that'd go."
"So you said." Harry thought it'd probably be fine… if he could only get back to the self he'd been last year. Now, he'd probably be more like Neville and too uneasy to actually give the fearsome woman the spark she clearly needed to be handled with. He let out a soft sigh at it all.
"Long week?"
He tossed his arm over his eyes, grumbling a bit. "More like it'll be a long weekend." He didn't look over to see Neville's quizzical look, but he assumed it was there. "I'm… doing something tomorrow. That I don't really want to talk about until it's over, but I really don't want to go. But I kind of need to go it'll just be… unpleasant probably."
Neville didn't respond to that… and after a couple long seconds Harry heard the sound of a quill scratching against parchment again. He stewed in silence for a little while.
"Can I ask what you think of everything?"
"Everything?" His question was repeated cautiously.
"Yeah. Everything. I know I'm not… well I want to hear your thoughts and feelings on it, because to be honest I have no idea what to think or feel right now and I'm kind of hoping I can copy yours."
He lifted his arm to look at his dormmate, and blue eyes were muddled a bit as he glanced over.
"Can you do that? Copy others' feelings?"
"Why not?"
Neville fiddled with the feather edge of his quill. "I dunno. Just… didn't consider that I guess." He shrugged a bit but in the long silence that followed, he collected his thoughts and Harry let him do it.
"Well… everything is going… well? Classes are definitely harder and I'm already behind on homework but I think that's true of most of Gryffindor aside from Hermione. I like Hogwarts, everything is very happy and playful what with the twins and everyone able to goof off. I think… you, trying to get everyone to talk to each other between houses last year has been actually working you know. What with the football club and people making friends between houses… I mean there's only been like two big fights between Slytherin and Gryffindor that I know of this year and I'm pretty sure it was a daily thing this time last October."
Harry smiled peacefully, happy to know it wasn't just him who'd noticed that— that it wasn't just in his head. Despite everything, he'd done something good and that was a good feeling in return.
He suddenly realized he was being stared at and looked over, only for Neville to glance quickly back down at his letter.
"Neville?"
"… you don't really smile as much as you did last year though. I think things are going much better for everyone that's not you."
Harry felt his breath catch.
"…oh."
"I'm sorry, I just-"
"No you're… right." He let out a steadying, shaky breath but it didn't do much unfortunately. "I uh… I didn't have a great summer."
"So you said." Neville frowned, pointedly not looking anywhere but his letter, and for some reason Harry was thankful for that. "And I'm totally okay with not getting an explanation if there isn't one to give; that's just how it is sometimes I think. But you asked my thoughts and I am kinda… well I can't not notice. I know you were… attacked at the end of last term, and you do seem better than back then, so I figured you just needed more time. Just thought you might want to know I did notice, it's not like I'm ignoring it." He blurted it out rather quickly, and Harry tried to absorb what he was saying.
Gryffindors had short memories. He knew he'd left Hogwarts at the end of last term an absolute mess—everyone giving him, Draco, and Neville space on the train had proved everyone knew he had not been okay.
But no one had asked him about it or even brought it up this year, which… Harry liked, as he wasn't ready to talk about it, but aside from the likes of Neville and Seamus who were the most sensitive or considerate to others around them, he was starting to think people genuinely either forgot or didn't see it as something to bring up. Most people he probably wasn't close enough to for them to feel comfortable asking, and he got the feeling Slytherin house was ignoring it for their own reasons.
Obvious reasons if you thought about it for a couple minutes.
Gryffindor though… it was like they really forgot.
It wasn't happy and upbeat and full of mischief and good times so… not important for right now, right? It was last term, ages ago, in the past—not relevant.
In some ways that was good. Out of sight, out of mind: no one bringing it up, no unhealed wounds getting picked at for no reason. He could shove it down and forget for a couple hours a day that it'd never happened. And yeah, maybe a lot of it was the summer but… shit, he'd almost forgotten about Quirrell.
How could I forget about that? Yeah the shed was hell on earth, but so was that whole experience.
It wasn't like he truly forgot, it was more that… his more relevant problems related more to the shed. If he didn't act, he was going to end up back in the shed and with that threat lighting a fire under him, he had to keep moving and address it otherwise…
Quirrell though. What was… what was the threat about that? Quirrell was dead (he'd killed him himself) and Voldemort was a ghost who very much wanted him dead but that was just kind of a ubiquitous fact of life at this point. Voldemort wasn't going to come after him before next summer when he'd be faced with Private Drive, so it was a secondary concern for the time being. The most imminent threat deserved more of his brain power and therefore he spent more time trying to confront that trauma mentally than what had happened between him and Quirrell.
More time picking at old wounds so they wouldn't heal, so to speak.
Neville… didn't know about the shed though. He'd only known about Quirrell, and not even what had happened in front of that bloody mirror. Of course he'd assume all of Harry's… current out-of-character actions were related to that trauma. He hadn't even considered so far that Harry could've had another major thing happen in the short months they'd been apart that could possibly trump being attacked by a teacher.
Thinking about the shed… well he thought about it too much as a lot of his motivation these days was to avoid it.
Quirrell though.
Voldemort though.
Voldemort who could speak to snakes.
He who could speak to snakes.
Voldemort who was just a ghost.
A ghost who could and would use the cruciatus curse to major success.
The pain had been so unbelievable that he couldn't lie here and even replicate the feeling in his mind. Not that'd he'd want to, but he couldn't outright feel fear of something he couldn't even wrap his mind around or was so vastly, unimaginably tortuous that his mind whited out rather than give him a replay in his mind's eye.
"Harry?"
He broke out of his thoughts to see Neville fully turned to face him now with concern, letter abandoned and he wondered what kind of expression he'd been wearing to earn that kind of reaction.
"…maybe I do need time." He admitted, and the blond relaxed some as he nodded.
"That's okay, you know. I had expected as much."
Harry worried a bit at his bottom lip. The truth of it… kind of hurt.
"Maybe I… maybe I get time. Maybe it changes nothing and things don't go back to how they were. Ever."
Neville frowned, seeming to deeply consider that. Even glancing down like he really was working that out.
"… I think that's okay too. No one has to stay the same forever, I don't think it's fair to expect that out of anyone."
Harry let out a shaky breath again and managed to flash him a bit watery of a smile before quickly turning over on the bed to hide a bit.
After a couple minutes the sound of a quill against parchment started up again and Harry tried to time his heartbeat to it to calm down.