Fading.... That's what it felt like... Like every ounce of what I've worked for was for nothing... My strength, my mentality, And my efforts... Everything started crumbling down one by one and I was helpless to stop it...
Lost in my own mind and inner world I could barely hear the voices of my inner demons who as always been there at my side... Reminding me I've been doing well.. to not give up...
Now there voices sound so distant.. I could here Kuri screaming out my name trying to get my attention..
" Master! Listen to me... Fight the chaos! Don't let it take over!"
I could obviously see Akemi fighting as hard as she could from the black chains that was binding her and preventing her from reaching me..
" MASTER! JUST HOLD ON! I PROMISE I'M COMING TO SAVE YOU..."
Sibiki... My first and most olderest of the three whom was created by my own self and soul, was bind and restricted completely...
Only able to silently watch as crimson chains binding me all over my body.. slowly pulled me down in a pool of completely nothingness...
I felt the arms of a maiden wrapping her arms around me from behind... I knew her all too well... She was my inner chaos... The emptiness that was always there and living within my soul...
She whispered in my ear... Filling my thoughts of things I don't want to hear to break me down more and more...
" Why are you resisting me...."
" Awwwww.... Your so cute when your all broken and depressed...."
" Did you really think you have gotten stronger? Hahahahaa... "
" No matter how hard you try.... You can't escape your fate.... Just give into the darkness... Surrender to me..."
" I promise.... I won't hurt you.... You can rest..."
As I felt the crimson chains pulled more of my spiritual body deeper and deeper into the black pool of absolute chaos.... I slowly stop resisting.....
" I'm so tired..... Lorelei...."
" So tired..... This workplace is pushing me to my breaking point...."
"So.... So... Tired of this landlord.... Now I may get evicted... What am I gonna do.... I'm trying so hard..."
" I'm worried.... My grandma isn't so well.... And I can't even do anything for her...."
" Tired... Tired... Tired... Tired... Tired... Tired... Tired... Tired.. Tired... So Fucking Tired....."
Three quarter of my body was now submerged within the chaos... And within that chaos... Chaos her self was smiling as he cling onto me with her arms wrapped around my chest as her body pressed up against my back...
" Oh my King of this world... No matter how much so you fight... You cannot win.... Your right at Hell's doorway.... And who is there to save you?.... Your girlfriend Lorelei? Are you sure she really loves you or are you just a place holder... Just a temporary comfort for her until she is tired of you.... Are you gonna put yourself back through that pain of betrayal and heartbreak again... Just like that first time with Flora... Are you seriously gonna open your heart again in hopes someone will take care of it? Accept you for all your flaws... Breaken and damaged as you are...."
" Chaos..... Stop it...."
I felt my body sink deeper...
" Oh!.... What about Your mother? Hahahahah.... You wish you could be so much closer to her... For her to understand you... And see that your breaking down... Slowly... But she is so blind to it all... Or is she?... You were left with no choice but to become a King... No time to enjoy the wonders of being a Prince... How sad and cruel of a fate.... And no matter what you do... It still not enough for her... Your still making so much mistakes in her eyes... Your not trustworthy.... Not reliable... Not dependable... Your nothing but flaws in her eyes... And she throw them all in your face... Over and over and over... Blaming your mistakes on the things your hold so precious... Your lover... Your games.. your leisure time and recreative activities... You feel like you have no choice but to become a machine... One wired towards progress and achieving his goals as fast as possible so that you can finally escape her... Escape everyone..... So you can have a chance to be free? Isn't that right?...."
I felt the chains circled around my body even more .. binding me tighter and pulling what reminds of me deeper and deeper into the abyss...
She whispered in my ear as she drowned me below the depths of this dark murky water filled with so much pain and despair... A place truly worthy of being called my inner chaos...
" Your Highness.... Your Not Worthy.... And that's the truth... Your not Worthy of Love... Your not Worthy of Peace... Your not Worthy of Freedom..."
" A future where you imagine you achieving your goals... Making your mother's dreams come through... Your dreams of finding a partner where you can walk the rest of eternity with.. a place of your own where your can grow your children... And grand children.. leaving a legacy both by your own blood and also by your own results and hardships... Proof of your achievements and existence..."
" None of that.... Exist.... It's just a dream..."
" What you deserve if absolute Solitude... A place where your all alone for all eternity.... Isolation... Void of all Light.. of all warmth... Of all Emotions..."
" All of those things are meaningless.... So why waste your time on such idealistic dreams of the future...."
" You know what you are.... You knew it all along... That Darkness that rages on in your soul... That emptiness you feel that grows bigger the harder you try... Don't you see... Cause I know you do... You know your fate.. you know the outcome..."
" Your nothing... Or rather... Your something..."
" Your A Devil.."
"That's your fate and who you are..."
" Now... Drown with me... And rest for all eternity within this chaos you've always knew was your final resting place..."