Two days later, the Zelit training resumed.
Once.
Twice.
Thrice.
Four times, five times, six times, seven times; over and over again Koji attempted to activate the Zelit, and over and over again he failed.
Failure after failure after failure.
For Koji, it was like trying to fly a plane, but in this situation, it was the first time he's ever even heard of a plane!
The backlashes were more that of a child attempting to execute a flip; he felt his head throbbing violently, and not only that, he was struck by nausea too.
'Why? Just why? Why does this shit have to be so fucking hard!? So many times, countless times at this point! I've tried and tried and tried, it's not possible!'
His fist clenched as if he wanted to dig his nails into his own hand and draw out the blood.
He didn't know whether he should bundle up in a ball and weep like a child, or if he should wail his arms around in the air like a complete madman.
'I give up, it's hopeless! Trying to do this at such a young age, who do I think I am?'
His anger shifted to hopelessness, although he may strive to be indifferent to these types of things, he was actually more reactive than most.
'No, no; I have to keep doing it, whether later or now the process will remain the same. I should just go ahead and get it out of the way, after all Lin probably won't let me quit anyway...'
Of course, he was still angry; however, Koji may be reactive but that did not mean he was completely unreasonable and couldn't keep himself in check.
In fact, a new thought formed in his mind.
'I keep getting so angry at this...'
His mood shifted to a bit of disapproval towards himself, even a bit of disappointment.
'No, it isn't bad that I reacted that way, but why do I feel so disappointed in myself? It's not like I did anything horrible, it was just a reaction.'
'No, I already know why....'
He had clear expectations for himself, and he failed to meet those expectations therefore he felt disappointed.
'But I don't look down on anything, no way of reacting to something is superior to another; I don't view anything as a wrong way of acting, so why do I view my own way of acting as wrong?'
He just smiled as he thought of this; he had just found another contradiction in his outlook, but instead of getting angry it just brought him joy.
'Obviously, my outlook will have contradictions; that's okay, it is a great joy to solve these problems anyway.'
In just a short time, Koji's mood drastically improved; he couldn't help but be amused at how he distracted himself from his anger so quickly.
However, not everyone had time to just sit in their own head conversing with themselves; this fact was especially true for Koji.
"Koji! Get your head straight kid, you're trying again."
Lin commanded, although he knew Koji would often drift off into space, he especially frowned upon it when Koji did it when he was supposed to be focused on a task.
Koji felt a bit more at peace now, so he was not entirely angry at Lin's demanding tone unlike he would have been five minutes ago.
"Okay..."
Only one word was needed.
Koji gripped the new Zelit in his hand; no longer did he pay any attention to it's appearance, he had already memorized it like the back of his hand.
The sun shined, it could not be compared to anything else; nothing in this world had ever lived up to the brightness of the sun after all.
The trees stood tall and sturdy with their unique color of bark; yes, instead of brown, the trees were plastered by a more greyish tone.
The dark green color of the leaves morphed into a lighter, yellowish tint as the sun luminated them.
Koji couldn't help but appreciate his surroundings; he had a deep affection for nature, and didn't like how his previous world was so obsessed with destroying it.
'Anyways....'
He shifted his gaze from his environment to the Zelit resting in his small hands.
It was not often that Koji was at peace like this, in fact compared to his recent state of mind it was a remarkable contrast.
'I have to succeed this time...'
It was not as if anything crucial was at stake, it was just that he already knew his mood would be ruined if he didn't succeed; it was rare for him to ever be at peace with himself, so he didn't want it to be ruined by failure. Of course, one may say that he should separate his mood from if he fails or succeeds; however, as a young man he was not so perfect, and he knew that.
He let out a long breath, the air flowing out through his nose into the beautiful environment surrounding him.
He focused his mind just as he did many times before, however this time was slightly different. He was at peace, and was not frustrated anymore; of course, the hint of worry inside of him still remained drifting through his sea of emotions.
The black void enveloped his mind as he envisioned the link between him and the Zelit; shortly after, the glowing white strings connected.
The first phase was now done.
Then, he focused as hard as he could as the strings came together as fast as perception, forming a ball of light.
His head was pounding like a man knocking on a door without stopping.
The second phase was now done.
Then, he was struck with the auras of every inanimate object around him, it was as if a firing squad had just rained hell upon him.
However, he pushed through the nausea, the sharp pain in his head, anything trying to distract him he completely expelled from his mind.
He focused only on a single, glowing, grey string of light.
Instantly, the string burst it's way into the ball of light.
The third phase was now done.
This was the hardest part!
He grit his teeth almost hard enough to crack them, he focused entirely on the string; tossing away any wondering thoughts distracting him; completely ignoring the pain and nausea that flowed through his very bloodstream.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5...
The seconds went on, the string still not be fully absorbed.
Koji was not frustrated, he was not worried anymore; he felt confident that he could finally do it.
6, 7, 8, 9...
10!
The silver string disappeared into the ball of light; both formed spontaneously to create a new, grey ball.
'Success!'