Ava noticed things, she always had.
She noticed when I cut my hair an inch shorter even when no one did. She noticed when Ryan was pretending to be fine after loosing a football match in Year Nine. She noticed when the air between people shifted - when something unspoken hovered like fog.
So of course she noticed me.
We were sitting in her bedroom that evening, legs crossed on her carpet, mugs of tea cooling between us. Fairy lights glowed softly along her wall, casting warm gold across her room. Outside, the sky was turning lavender with dusk.
"You're quieter than usual," Ava said casually.
"I'm always quiet."
"Not this kind of quiet." She tilted her head. "This is the 'I'm thinking of something I refuse to admit' quiet."
I rolled my eyes. "You're dramatic."
She took a slow sip of tea, studying me over the rim of her mug. "You went to the oak tree today."
I blinked. "How do you know that?"
"Because Ryan told me."
My stomach flipped. "He did?"
"Relax," she said with a small smirk. "He just said he ran into you there. Which means you went there to think."
I stared down at my cup.
She leaned forward slightly. "Zoey."
The way she said my name was soft. Careful. Not teasing this time.
"What?" I murmured.
"You're in love with him."
The words landed between us like glass.
I laughed too quickly."No."
"Yes."
"No."
Ava raised an eyebrow. "You've loved him sincebyou were fifteen."
My chest tightened.
"That's not true," I said, but my voice was thinner now.
She didn't argue. She just watched me - patiently, like she always did when she knew the truth would surface on its own.
"Okay," she said finally. "Then answer one question."
I crossed my arms. "Fine."
"When he said he was leaving.... why did you look like someone had taken the air out of your lungs?"
SIlence.
I opened my mouth to answer, but nothing came out.
Because she was right.
When Ryan said"Manchester," it hadn't just sounded like a city. It had sounded like distance. Like loss. Like something breaking quitely inside me.
Ava softened . "Zoey....I've known you since we were children. You don't look at him the way you look at everyone else."
Heat crept up my neck. "How do I look at him?"
"Like he's home."
That did it.
My throat burned suddenly, and I hated that my eyes stung.
Ava's expression changed instantly. She moved closer, setting her mug aside.
"Oh," she whispered. "It's that bad?"
"I don't know when it happened," I admitted, voice small. "I didn't mean for it to. It just… grew."
She nodded slowly. "Yeah. I know."
"You do?"
She smiled faintly. "Ryan's been in love with you for years, Zo."
My head snapped up. "What?"
"You really didn't see it?"
"No."
She laughed softly, not cruelly — just amazed. "The way he looks at you? The way he always stands closer to you? The way he gets quiet when you're upset?"
I replayed moments in my mind — small things I'd dismissed as normal.
"He's just protective," I said weakly.
"Because he loves you."
The room felt suddenly too warm.
"But he said I'm his best friend," I whispered.
Ava's expression turned gentle. "Sometimes that's the safest word to use when you're scared."
That sentence wrapped around my heart.
Scared.
Was Ryan scared too?
I stared at the fairy lights along her wall. "What if I tell him and it ruins everything?"
"It won't."
"You don't know that."
She reached out and squeezed my hand. "I know him. And I know you. And I know that you two have been orbiting each other for years."
Orbiting.
That felt painfully accurate.
"I can't lose him," I said quietly.
"You won't."
"But what if I do?"
Ava exhaled slowly. "Zoey… you're about to lose him anyway. He's moving three hours away."
That hit harder than I expected.
"If you say nothing," she continued gently, "you'll spend the next three years wondering what would have happened if you had."
Three years.
The thought made my stomach twist.
She studied me carefully. "Tell me something. When you imagine him in Manchester… what scares you more? Him being far away? Or him falling in love with someone else?"
The answer came immediately.
"Someone else."
It slipped out before I could stop it.
Ava smiled softly. "There it is."
I covered my face with my hands.
"I'm such a coward," I muttered.
"No," she said firmly. "You're scared. There's a difference."
Silence settled between us, but this time it wasn't heavy. It was thoughtful.
"Do you think," I asked slowly, "that he ever almost told me?"
Ava's lips curved slightly. "Year Ten. School dance. You wore that blue dress and he couldn't look at anyone else."
My heart stumbled.
"He asked me what kind of flowers you liked that week," she added. "Then panicked and said it was for his mum."
I stared at her.
"He's been just as terrified as you."
The realization felt like stepping into sunlight after standing in shadow too long.
"What do I do?" I whispered.
Ava squeezed my hand again. "You tell him."
"When?"
She smiled knowingly. "Before the train leaves."
My heart started racing just thinking about it.
"What if I freeze?"
"Then I'll shove you," she said sweetly.
I laughed through the tension.
She leaned her head against my shoulder. "You deserve to be brave for once, Zoey."
The fairy lights flickered gently, casting soft halos on the walls.
For the first time since Ryan said "Manchester," the tightness in my chest eased slightly.
Maybe I wasn't alone in this.
Maybe I never had been.
And maybe — just maybe — the countdown wasn't just about losing him.
Maybe it was about finally choosing not to lose myself.
Three weeks suddenly didn't feel like enough time to hide anymore.