A/N: actual filler btw
After 2 days I saw a video, that video had my hero picture in the thumbnail and the title was "WHO THE #### IS THIS??!?"
It was sitting at 80,000 views in just an hour, or so YoTube says. You can't really trust view counts on videos less than 24 hours after it's been uploaded.
'Huh.'
The video itself was 14 minutes long and by a guy that I had actually watched before, he had funny commentary's and lots of knowledge on heroes and hero culture.
'I gotta watch this no?'
I clicked on it.
The screen slowly faded in, revealing the official hero ranking page.
His voice overlayed the screen as he scrolled down.
"Uh huh, All Might at no.1 of course, yep we also got most of the top ten unmoved…"
He continued scrolling and listing other names.
"Wow, top 50 looking good. Oh yeah, we got my GOAT in the top 80."
…
It suddenly stopped at the top 90 tier.
The camera zoomed in on the higher half.
"Huh?" His voice resounded.
It zoomed in specially on no.97, Blitzen.
"YO WHO THE FUCK IS THI-"
The audio cut suddenly and the background transitioned to the guys webcam.
You could hear the static in the background clearly, you could see his messy room behind him and his expression was one of complete confusion.
The video cut to him looking normal while holding a microphone.
"So I was looking at the top 100 heroes as usual, when a random caught my eye. His name is Blitzen and I swear to god, even with all my knowledge I have NEVER seen this guy before…"
"Either this guy came out of literally nowhere, or I need to take my pills. Have you guys heard of this hero 'Blitzen'? No? Well me neither, and that's what got me curious. Who is Blitzen?"
I inhaled sharply and looked dead into the camera.
"I wanted to answer that question and I didn't intend to make a video on it, until I dug deep, and when I say deep I mean REAL deep."
The video cut to him on a green screen in a bright red t-shirt, grey shorts and All Might slippers.
The screen behind him displayed multiple messages to different people.
"I first went to ask 50 other experts like me if they had heard of him, and only 1 knew of him. And it wasn't even directly him! The guy had just seen him once in a random incident!
You see, Ingenius' favourite pro is Ingenium. And you might be wondering… what does Ingenium have to do with it.
And to that I answer… LITERALLY NOTHING! I'M NOT KIDDING.
Ingenium and Mr 'Blitzen' just so HAPPENED to work together once to take down a villain… maybe he is just a nepo baby, maybe he bought votes or botted them…
And I was happy with this conclusion. I even searched up his name on Gooble and after 5 minutes of scrolling all that came up was stuff about the reindeer, not the hero.
And so, I took one last look at Blitzen and finally checked his profile.
The green screen went down and the video cut back to his computer camera in his bedroom.
It only showed his face, mouth completely open as the screen's colours shifted and changed as he looked at the screen.
A miniature version of himself walked on screen and stared into the camera.
"And then I saw his stats… and I'll let them speak for themselves."
On screen the background became two halves, one had the pentagon of stats and the other had info on basic measures stats.
"WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?! ARE YOU SEEING THIS?!? HES GOT STATS THAT COULD BE TOP 10 POTENTIALLLLLLL!!!"
He calmed down and the video cut to the Gooble home page, search bar ready.
He searched up 'YoTube' and then into the YoTube search bar, 'Blitzen'. Then he sorted by channel and scrolled to see my actual channel.
It had 124 subscribers and 4 videos.
He clicked on it in silence, his mouse and fan making all the noise.
The screen faded and switched to my four videos, all side by side.
"What the hell is this? He's literally just got the raw uploads of patrolling footage, all 5 hours long BY. THEMSELVES."
His voiced turned whiny as he imitated a know it all.
"But surely you wouldn't look through it all. You're not that-"
His voice turned gravelly.
"I did."
There was 3 seconds of silence before his voice turned back to normal.
"I LOOKED THROUGH 20 HOURS OF FOOTAGE, JUST FOR A LITTLE, JUUUSSTT A LIIITTLE CHECK. AND WHAT WAS IT?!
He was literally just shopping. Shopping. His 'patrols' are going shopping for food, clothing and other basic things.
He doesn't wear a costume, he practically only deals with petty criminals.
But I noticed something.
In one of his videos a shop worker comes up and thanks him for stopping a robbery."
He grinned widely.
"AND SO I WENT TO THAT SHOP IN PERSON AND ASKED TO WATCH THE TAPPEEES! THE TAPPPEEESSS!
Long story short, they allowed me to. They also said that he basically only patrols in this certain area, and so isn't well known outside of it.
Or in other words.
HE'S A NICHE HERO! WHAT EVEN DOES THAT MEAN?!
Whoo, let me calm down. Let's just play the footage."
The tapes rolled showing myself entering the store.
I got shot by the first villain and proceeded to slap him into the ground.
The other villain turned only for myself to literally appear infront of him then do a one inch punch.
He didn't even move, he crumbled.
The creator then slowly walked onto the screen as it froze.
He coughed and looked behind him before back at the camera.
"Not only, did he destroy a villain after tanking an attack. He literally SPEEDBLITZED the other villain and used a ONE INCH PUNCH ON HIM.
A ONE INCH PUNCH.
I also suspect that he held the guy in place so he didn't get sent flying.
But look at that performance… I mean holy bro. I'm sorry for not knowing your game!"
The video transitioned to his computer camera again.
"But was this enough…"
He looked up at the camera.
"No, but I didn't sleep enough last night so wait for PART TWO! THATS RIGHT THERESSSS MOOOOORRREEE! FREE RENT MONEY WAHOOO!"
The video ended there.
'Heh. 20 hours of footage.'
I commented on his video.
"If you're going to watch 20 hours you might as well subscribe no? Honestly I'm looking through my subscriptions now and I can't see your name…"
'Can't wait for part two.'
A/N: something funny I thought of, I'm genuinely sad that I can't see the DESPICABLE slander in the actual verse. It would be so peak.