Chapter 98 – You Really Shouldn't Mess with This
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Strictly speaking, Jabami Yumeko is just an ordinary person.
And her ability is, without doubt, her superb gambling skill.
If that's the case, then the copper card-back and the lack of compatibility checks make perfect sense.
After all, anyone can use it.
There are no restrictions.
The first person Naruto thought of was Tsunade.
She has an active achievement that turns her into the Gambling Goddess.
Trading a copper card for an achievement is obviously a huge win.
The problem is, Tsunade is… off.
She commands three weapons of causality.
Gambling, forehead kisses, and that necklace.
Whoever touches them dies.
Except the hard-to-kill protagonist—and even he ends up a wreck.
If she actually becomes the Gambling Goddess, Naruto has no idea whether he and Jiraiya could survive.
Ominous—an extremely bad omen!
Early the next morning.
Naruto traded a huge crate of cola to the quest NPC Hanabi for a single chance to send a message.
He had her tell Hinata that he and Jiraiya would be gone for a while but would be back soon.
"Morning, Naruto."
Jiraiya greeted him with a scroll on his back and a broad grin, instantly putting Naruto on guard.
The guy's way too enthusiastic.
What followed only confirmed his suspicions.
Jiraiya actually started recounting his past—with Orochimaru, Tsunade, and Hiruzen Sarutobi.
Normally that would be fine, but he resisted the urge to go "researching" and lectured Naruto for days.
Something's wrong—seriously wrong.
Naruto thought it over the whole way and finally caught on.
Jiraiya wants me to grasp the so-called Will of Fire?
Sorry, old man, you're too late.
In my last life I already mastered a different "Will of Scarlet."
And don't think I haven't read the original.
Bragging that you were more of a genius than Orochimaru? Have some shame!
Everyone knows you were basically a dead-last until you stumbled into Mount Myōboku and got lucky.
Also, stop steering every topic toward women.
Though, admittedly, Naruto enjoyed the chats.
He even tossed Jiraiya a few novel ideas.
Like magicians, time-freeze, ship-girls, beast-ears, elves…
It blew Jiraiya's mind.
Nighttime campfire.
Jiraiya took the grilled rabbit Naruto handed him, swirled his sake jug, and laughed, "Want a swig?"
"I'm twelve."
Naruto doesn't care for alcohol.
Especially after last-life banquets with bosses—pure agony.
"Fair point."
Jiraiya bit into the rabbit, eyes sparkling. "Not bad!"
He remembered Minato's cooking had been pretty great too.
After watching Naruto these days, he could tell the kid had zero interest in the Will of Fire, but his personality was solid.
Nothing like Orochimaru and Danzo, forever brooding—might as well stamp "I'm the villain" on their foreheads.
Plus, he and Naruto could talk, especially about "research."
Jiraiya always believed a man with a healthy libido can't be all bad.
It's only natural, right?
"When do we arrive?"
Naruto tore off a rabbit leg and asked.
"We should reach the town where Tsunade's staying by tomorrow."
Jiraiya did the math.
Because of all the storytelling, they'd been moving slowly.
Now that he'd pretty much finished, they could pick up speed.
Stuffed and tipsy, Jiraiya soon dozed off.
Naruto occasionally heard him mutter something about "so soft" in his dreams.
"What's this?"
Jiraiya woke to find a bowl of yellowish liquid set in front of him and stared warily.
"Honey and lemon—sobers you up."
Naruto shrugged. "I'm not going to poison you."
Jiraiya chuckled, downed it in one gulp, and said, "You're all right, kid."
The two set off again.
No trouble along the way; they reached Tanzaku Town without incident.
Calling it a "street" is generous—it's a small town packed with casinos.
"Next step: find Tsunade."
Jiraiya scanned the crowded street, looking troubled.
"Tsunade loves to gamble but has terrible luck, so everyone calls her the Legendary Sucker and she's deep in debt. To dodge creditors she changes her appearance—anywhere from teens to forties."
He pulled out a photo and handed it to Naruto.
"Don't be fooled by that pretty face—she's actually a fifty-year-old granny."
That statement is dangerously close to getting you killed.
Naruto half expected a certain purple… ahem, wife to pop out of nowhere with a spear.
"Let's split up and search."
Jiraiya headed north, but before he even vanished from Naruto's sight he'd already wrapped an arm around a pretty girl by a shop.
"…"
Naruto sighed.
Looks like I'm on my own.
Hunting a master of disguise like Tsunade would normally be a pain.
But Naruto knew she'd have Shizune with her—and a little pig named Tonton.
Three targets are way easier than one.
Naruto activated Kagura Minds Eye and swept the entire Tanzaku Town.
Moments later he had a lock and headed straight for a casino.
"Hey, little kid, this isn't the place for you."
A dealer blocked his way.
Naruto spun around and came back dressed like a nouveau-riche brat dripping in gold.
"Well then, handsome, come right in—what can I do for you?"
The dealer's attitude did a 180.
What is this, not even an online casino?
Naruto brushed off her sulky offer for "extra services."
"Shizune, bring all the money I got from healing that guy yesterday."
"Lady Tsunade, we've already lost more than half of it…"
Naruto turned instantly and spotted a woman in a jacket emblazoned with the kanji for "gamble."
He walked over.
Yep, those are absurdly huge.
Addicted to gambling—has to be Tsunade.
He summoned a small toad and sent it to fetch Jiraiya.
Then he calmly watched Tsunade blow through nearly thirty million ryō.
Naruto could only admire her consistency.
Basically never wins.
The God of Gamblers must have blacklisted her.
"Damn it!"
Tsunade kicked a vending cabinet outside the casino.
Naruto vaguely recalled some flat-chested girl doing the same—quite the contrast.
"Kid, you've been tailing me—show yourself."
Tsunade turned, saw an unfamiliar face, and asked, "Which loan shark sent you?"
"None."
Naruto reverted to his usual appearance.
"A brat… from Konoha?"
She noticed his forehead protector and blinked.
Right then Jiraiya finally arrived.
Trailing a cloud of perfume.
"…"
Tsunade caught the familiar scent and sneered, "Still the same old perv, Jiraiya."
"Let's find somewhere to talk."
"Fine."
Though she sensed trouble, he was still an old teammate.
"I saved someone yesterday; we're staying at her place."
"You, saving people?"
Jiraiya exclaimed.
"I'm a medical-Ninja, remember?"
Tsunade rolled her eyes.
Only Shizune sighed.
All lies.
The pay was just too good.
A cool hundred million.
Naruto soon arrived at a lavish mansion.
"I'm back!"
Tsunade shoved the door open without ceremony.
A jade-carved little loli stood there leaning on a crutch.
She sweetly called, "Big sister!"
Jiraiya's eyes nearly popped out, face flushed.
Only Naruto stood frozen.
Crap!
Orochimaru!
Sensei, you really shouldn't mess with this.
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