Chapter 5: The Funky Lottery and the King of Luck
The Sovereign Lottery: Queen's Big Moment
The golden light surrounding Queen's Rank 50 slot began to spin like a chaotic slot machine. Across the world, billions of people watched as icons of legendary swords, Ancient Devil Fruits, and mysterious vials flashed by at light-speed.
"Come on! Come on!" Queen was practically vibrating on Onigashima, his belly jiggling in a rhythmic 'funk' beat. "Give me something that makes me slim! Or at least a laser that shoots smaller lasers!"
The light slowed... clicked... and settled on a strange, shimmering purple orb.
[Rank 50 Reward: The 'Viral Singularity' Core]
[Description: A bio-mechanical engine that allows the user's viruses to evolve in real-time based on the opponent's DNA. Also includes a built-in jukebox.]
> [Queen]: "A JUKEBOX?! YES! Finally, the Heavens recognize true talent! Watch out, world! Next time I see you, my plague will have a bass drop!"
>
> [Vinsmoke Judge]: "You absolute moron. You just received a weapon capable of evolving past any antidote, and you're excited about the music player?"
>
> [Queen]: "Judge, you're just jealous because your raidsuits only play the sound of your own ego! My viruses are going to be TOP CHARTS!"
>
The "Lucky" Trial: The Mystery of the Red Nose
The screen suddenly flickered, but instead of moving to Rank 49, a massive [BONUS TRIVIA] sign appeared in neon pink. The system seemed to be feeling a bit... whimsical.
[System: Sudden Wisdom Trial — Multiple Choice!]
[Topic: The Hidden History of the Clown.]
[Penalty for Incorrect Answer: The user's nose will glow and honk loudly every time they breathe for 24 hours.]
In Impel Down, Buggy the Clown froze. "A-a clown question? Is this a trap? It's a trap, isn't it?!"
[QUESTION: During the battle at the Edd War between the Roger Pirates and the Golden Lion Shiki, which member of the Roger Pirates accidentally dropped a tray of tea due to the stormy waves, nearly hitting Silvers Rayleigh?]
A) Shanks
B) Buggy
C) Seagull Guns Nozdon
D) Douglas Bullet
The chat went wild.
> [Sengoku]: "How are we supposed to know about a tea tray from twenty years ago?!"
> [Shanks]: "Ah... I remember that storm! But wait, was it me? I think I was holding the sails..."
> [Whitebeard]: "Gurarara! Roger, your crew was always a mess. I bet it was the brat with the red nose."
>
Buggy's eyes bulged. He remembered that day perfectly. He remembered it because he had been blamed for it, even though it wasn't his fault! He reached out to the screen, his hand shaking. "I'll show them! I'll show them all!"
> [Buggy]: "It was C! Seagull! He tripped over a rope! I was the one who caught the cups, you idiots!"
>
[System: CORRECT ANSWER.]
[User 'Buggy the Clown' has received One Golden Sovereign Coin.]
The Miracle of the Coin
In the middle of the Level 4 Hell in Impel Down, a golden coin materialized right in front of Buggy's big red nose. The prisoners around him fell silent. The guards dropped their spears.
"HE GOT IT!" Mr. 3 (Galdino) screamed, his wax hair catching fire. "Buggy-sama actually got a coin! He's a genius! A tactical mastermind!"
> [Gol D. Roger]: "Bwahaha! Well done, Buggy! I forgot about Seagull's clumsy feet! You always did have a good memory for things that didn't involve fighting!"
>
> [Buggy]: "Shut up, Captain! I mean—THANK YOU, CAPTAIN! Look at this, world! I have the power of the Heavens in my hand! I'm going to use this to... to..."
>
Buggy looked at the reward list. He saw the Haki Awakening. He saw the Prime Potion. But then he saw something else.
[System: User 'Buggy' is contemplating his reward. Note: Using a coin for Haki Awakening now will grant 'Advanced Observation' immediately due to the user's extreme cowardice—I mean, 'High Survival Instinct.']
The World's Reaction to the Clown's Luck
The news that a "lowly prisoner" like Buggy had won a coin sent shockwaves everywhere.
On Sabaody, Luffy was laughing so hard he was rolling on the grass. "Shanks' friend got a coin! That's so funny!"
Zoro, however, was sweating. "Wait... the system said he'd get Advanced Observation? If that idiot gets Future Sight just by being a coward, this list is going to turn the world upside down."
In Marineford, Sengoku's head hit his desk with a loud thud. "Buggy... why is it always Buggy? First he's on Roger's ship, now he's winning the Heavenly Trials? Magellan! Increase the security on his cell! If he uses that coin to evolve, he'll be a nightmare to recapture!"
The Final Feat of Rank 50: The Zoom-Out
Before the world could process Buggy's luck, the screen showed one final montage for Queen. It showed him in the current day, standing on the balcony of the Performance Floor in Onigashima, looking down at thousands of his subordinates.
[Final Rank 50 Feat: The Viral Orchestra.]
[Description: The ability to command an entire army through the fear of infection, turning subordinates into expendable 'Ice Onis.']
"He treats his own people like lab rats," Sanji said, his voice cold, lighting a cigarette. "No wonder he's at the bottom of the list. Strength is one thing, but a man who rots his own crew isn't a Sovereign. He's just a bully with a lab coat."
The screen began to dim, the purple toxic clouds of Queen's aura fading away. The deep, volcanic orange of Rank 49 began to bleed back into the center.
[System: Rank 50 Proclamation Complete.]
[Next: The Sovereign of the Eternal Flame. The Wall of the New World.]