Chapter 7: The God of the Straws
The Silent Lead Performer
The golden screens across the world didn't immediately jump into a chaotic battle. Instead, they focused on the mundane, terrifying stillness of King. The projection showed him standing on the prow of a Beast Pirate ship, his black leather suit creaking slightly in the wind.
He wasn't fighting. He was just... standing there.
[Rank 49 Essence: The Stoic Wall]
[Status: King has spent 90% of his career as a 'Lead Performer' simply staring at people until they apologized for existing.]
In the Global Chat, the legends were finally starting to get comfortable with the interface.
> [Gol D. Roger]: "Bwahaha! Look at him! He looks like he's having a contest with himself to see who can move less. Rayleigh, he reminds me of you when you're trying to ignore me!"
> [Silvers Rayleigh]: "I only ignore you when you're being an idiot, Roger. Which is most of the time."
> [Rocks D. Xebec]: "Chained in a lab, rescued by a brat like Kaido, and now he spends his days wearing a gimp suit and knitting? The 'Gods' have really fallen. In my era, we didn't have time for hobbies."
> [Edward Newgate]: "Maybe if you'd taken up knitting, Rocks, you wouldn't have been so high-strung. You were always a headache."
>
The "Soup" Incident: A Study in Discipline
The projection shifted to a Beast Pirates' mess hall. A younger King, about ten years ago, sat at a table alone. He had a bowl of steaming ramen.
He looked around. No one was watching. Slowly, he reached for a specially modified straw—a high-tech, reinforced titanium tube. He slid it into the mouth-slit of his mask.
SLUUUUUUUUURP.
The sound echoed across the planet via the golden screens, a deep, resonant vacuum noise that felt incredibly awkward.
> [Queen]: "LOOK AT THAT! HE USES A TITANIUM STRAW! He's so dramatic! Just take the mask off, you brooding pigeon!"
> [King]: "It is efficient, Queen. It minimizes the risk of someone like you breathing on my food."
> [Charlotte Linlin]: "Mama-mama! What a waste! Ramen should be eaten with the soul! If you can't taste the broth with your whole face, you aren't living!"
> [Kaido]: "Leave him alone! King's slurping technique is the most disciplined in the New World! I've seen him finish a bowl in three seconds without moving his head! It's... it's beautiful!"
>
The Panic on Sabaody
On Sabaody, the comedy of the screen was at odds with the terror on the ground. A few hundred yards away from the Straw Hats, the frozen, monochrome figure of Admiral Kizaru stood like a terrifying statue. He was far enough that the worst generation pirates could see him, but close enough that his presence felt like a guillotine hanging over the archipelago.
"Who is that sparkly guy standing over there?" Luffy asked, pointing toward the motionless Admiral.
Robin's face turned ashen. She didn't look at the screen; she looked at the man in the yellow suit. "Luffy... that's Borsalino. Admiral Kizaru. He is one of the World Government's 'Greatest Military Powers.' If he wasn't frozen by that System penalty, we would all be dead by now."
"An Admiral?!" Usopp's nose practically shriveled in fear. "And he's right there?! Why are we standing here?! The screen says he's only stuck for two days! We need to run! We need to run to the moon!"
"Quiet, Usopp!" Zoro growled, though his hand gripped his sword tighter. "He's not moving. Look at the screen. We have more to worry about than a statue."
The Chat Heats Up
The chat began to scroll faster as more people realized they could actually talk back to the legends.
> [Buggy]: "Hey! Roger-captain! It's me, Buggy! I won a coin! Did you see?! I'm basically the next Pirate King!"
> [Gol D. Roger]: "Buggy! My boy! I saw! I didn't know you were such a scholar of tea-tray history! Bwahaha! Use that coin well, or Rayleigh will find you in the afterlife and give you a lecture!"
> [Shanks]: "Nice job, Buggy! Though I'm pretty sure you only remember that because the tea tray hit you in the face right after it missed Rayleigh."
> [Buggy]: "SHUT UP, RED-HAIR! It was a tactical memory!"
>
The Essence of Heat
The screen flickered back to a serious moment. It showed King in the middle of a blizzard on a winter island. He was surrounded by a hundred elite Marine soldiers. They were firing everything they had.
King didn't move. He didn't even ignite his wings. He just stood there, the bullets flattening against his chest as if he were made of diamond. Then, he slowly raised a hand and snapped his fingers.
A pillar of fire erupted from the snow, instantly turning the blizzard into a steam bath and the Marines into retreating shadows.
[Rank 49 Feat: The Temperature of Silence]
[Description: King's internal body temperature is so high that he can manipulate the weather of an entire island simply by 'uncovering' his flame.]
> [Marco]: "I've clashed with him a few times. His fire is... different. It's heavy. Like being hit with a mountain made of sun."
> [Akainu]: "Fire is just heat. In the end, it all bows before the absolute heat of magma. This 'God' is just a fancy candle."
> [King]: "Keep talking, Magma-brat. I've lived on the Red Line. I've seen things melt that your fruit couldn't even warm up."
>
The screen began to pulse again, but instead of showing more fights, it showed a "Trivia Hint" icon in the corner. The System was teasing the next Trial.
[System: King's next feat involves a secret mission he undertook for Kaido in the West Blue... a mission that involved a very specific, very pink, stuffed animal.]
[Global Chat Status: 15,000,000 messages pending...]