The small wooden booth only had a cushioned bench within. Sonia eeked the door shut, but left a sliver to peek out. Half a dozen new bodies passed by the booth. She sat on the bench and prepared to machine gun kick anybody who came in.
Alas, the door remained undisturbed. Sonia relaxed, but then a wooden panel on the side of the confession slid open. A lattice panel filled the opening, but allowed the two booths to converse. Sonia could barely make out one of the masked nuns on the other side.
The nun pressed her entire gas mask against the divider and whispered, "Sonia...it's me, Minnie."
"The nudist shellie? How did you get here?" Sonia asked.
"Welp, sit back and relax. It's a crazy story..." Minnie prepared for story time. She happily recalled the plane crash and the insufferable pain therein.
Sonia tried to listen, but the wood panel opposite Minnie's opened. It startled Sonia, but a nervous male's voice recited, "Dear mother, forgive me for I have sinned..."
Sonia ignored Minnie's info dump on Gamindorf and his goon squad in favor to check out the repentant man. It was a shellie, with his hands clasped and head down. He wore a blue shell, and its pristine conditioning was nothing short of impressive. Sonia acted the part, "Yes? My child? I am totally here."
He opened up, "Lust is my plague. I have coveted my neighbor, Squirtz, though she is with Jorl. Day in, and day out, I find it more difficult to respect their boundary. I have such a yearning for her flesh during these wedding celebrations..."
"Oh, that's fine. Covet who you want," Sonia excused.
"What? Really?" the shellie sounded hopeful.
"Sure! Why don't you go ahead and tell me your thoughts. Air 'em out," Sonia provided an outlet for the guy. As he enthusiastically rambled about his perversion, Sonia switched to Minnie. She was in the middle of her orgy description, and the copious amount of glue sniffing they did. Sonia interjected with a whisper, "Oi, do you want to make a deal? You help me, and I'll get you a blue shell?"
"Really? Sure!" Gamer's friend didn't even care about the terms.
"Great, I'll secure a blue shell, and you'll help me take out Lord Shellie so I get the points instead of Gamer. We both walk away with big wins, you can protect Gamer and Asterion from...whatever, and you don't have to risk your neck trying to steal one," Sonia laid out the benefits.
"But Gamer needs points to help his sister. Defeating Lord Shellie will earn him a whole bunch! Different offer, please," Minnie remained loyal.
Sonia rolled her eyes, but admired the dedication. She ignored the male shellie's description about strangling himself with a door for gratification and said, "How about this Gamindorf guy? You said he's here, right? We can team up to beat him."
"He definitely was a jerk. Deal!" Minnie held up the peace sign with her fingers.
Sonia wanted to laugh at how absurdly easy it was, but the male shellie was in tears. She cleared her throat and spoke to him, "I think I know how to absolve you of your mental anguish."
"You do? Please, anything, mother!" the shellie pleaded.
Sonia put a dash of pomp in her tone, "First, my child, you must remove all your garments. Expose your sin in all its horror, so that it can be cleansed of you posthaste! My assistant will take the tainted shell of yours!"
"Yes, mother! I see where you're going with this," the shellie slipped out of their shell. Minnie followed along, went over to the nude shellie's door, and was handed the blue shell. He mouthed, "Tell no one."
"Confidential," nun Minnie appeased him. She closed the door, and resisted vibrating at the sight of the unscratched and stainless shell. She returned to her booth to secretly switch out of the nun's outfit.
Sonia clapped her hands, "Perfect! Now, the next step to redemption is..."
But before Sonia could carry on, the screen frame between the booths was removed. She raised an eyebrow and peered through, only to be surprised by the shellie dropping his pants and presenting. It shot straight up like a raised banana. Sonia gawked at his boldness. The shellie jumped up and down, "Thank you for the cleansing, mother!"
Sonia couldn't believe the erratic perversion behind the enemies. She wondered what the developers smoked before programming them. She shrugged, "Ah, welp, when in Rome...besides, I got some time to kill before the reception."
Minnie changed from the nun vestments and gas mask to the blue shell. It fit well and barely weighed on her. It was as light as the other shells, with the durability of diamond. She gleaned with joy. When she stepped out of her booth, the enemies in the room paid her no mind; just another shellie. She tossed the nun outfit into Sonia's booth through the slightly ajar door to give her the same advantage with the disguise. Minnie heard Sonia give a slurp, gasp, and then followed by a devilish giggle.
The repenting shellie stumbled out of his booth. He was drenched in liquid and naked, and yelled like a maniac, "I have been cleansed! I am free from sin!"
Sonia stepped out next, with the nun outfit on. Due to her height, the smaller vestment rode up on her thighs. She paired it with thigh-high boots. She appeared less of a nun and more of a dominatrix.
"What'd you do to him?" Minnie asked, baffled by the nude shellie's state of mind. He dashed about in his nudity and shocked many of his cohorts.
"I squirted on him," Sonia shrugged nonchalantly.
"Praise be! Free is me!" the drenched shellie cheered.
"Ah, so you gave him 'holey' water," Minnie punnied. Sonia and her laughed ostensibly, with forced hucks and feigned giggles.
Judgment rained down upon the shellie when five spears pelted and killed him. The attending shellies yelled in unison, "A shellie without a shell is just a lie!"
"Kuso!" Sonia gawked behind the mask. Minnie gulped and quietly appreciated her independence.
After the disposal of the heretic, the wedding attendees approached Sonia and Minnie. The shellie in the lead, who wore a bowtie for the wedding ceremony, asked Sonia, "Who are you? You're taller than the other Sniffers. What's with that?"
Sonia needed an alibi, sound reasoning, and careful persuasion to navigate being caught. She quickly crafted a well-organized narrative in her mind and opened her mouth.
The big room doors busted up. A shadowy creature with glowing yellow eyes floated in. It quivered as if cold, and laid its eerie eyes on the blue blur. It accused, "That shellie stole my robes!"
Minnie squeaked, "Oh, wow! She recovered fast. Sorry, Sonia."
"Pizdec...I'm taller than shellies, too!" Sonia slapped her forehead.
"Intruders! Get them!" the bowtie shellie commanded. The bobs charged forward and hyped each other up with compliments and encouragement. Their fuses began to spark. The rest of the congregation mini-panicked at their impending doom.
"Aw! Listen to their little hisses! So adorable!" Sonia dotted. Her reaction surprised the bobs, and they all blushed instead of exploding.
Minnie addressed the rest of the room, "We can't let them blow up and have a repeat of the Sunshine Resort incident. Lord Shellie would be greatly upset!"
"Don't blow up, dudes! We have to protect the sanctity of the wedding!" the bowtie shellie said within fear. He joined in with Minnie and Sonia to dot on the bobs. The rest of the room did their best to calm the bobs and maintain peace. The bobs simmered, but were mainly confused by the unified allies and enemies.
A cacophonous vibration shook the chapel. The ceiling collapsed from what seemed to be an explosion. Gamer, Persica, Lord Shellie, Kammy, and Qammy fell through into the room with a whole bunch of furniture. Luckily for them, they fell atop a couple of the chapel's chandeliers. Gamer and Persica landed on one, while Lord Shellie and the shellie mages found the other. The chandeliers detached from the now destroyed ceiling and plummeted.
"Ow, that stung," Lord Shellie rubbed his butt.
"Good going, m'lord," Gamer mocked with wall-eyes. "Now we're falling to our deaths."
"I didn't see you do anything. At least I killed the thing," Lord Shellie snapped back.
"Give us a heads up before you butt bomb the place!" Gamer shook a fist. They all stood up on the falling chandeliers, and Gamer helped Persica to her feet. This obviously made Lord Shellie jealous. Gamer noticed the princess didn't have a single scratch on her, "How are you unscathed?"
Persica reached into her cleavage and pulled out the shrooman, "Shroomans can't be harmed. Punch them, stab them, burn them, do what you will, they always bounce back. They are for me what Minnie is for you."
"Why do you think I had my mages turn them into blocks? I couldn't kill the little bastards!" Lord Shellie verified.
"What is death to a super immortal?" the undying mushroom man said with terrifying pep.
Gamer realized the shroomans were unkillable NPCs and sighed, "You know, it's all making sense. Just my luck. By the way, how have we not hit the bottom yet? Lord Shellie, why is your fortress so oddly long and shapely."
"To be honest, even I don't get it sometimes. By all accounts, it doesn't make a lick of sense," Lord Shellie pulled down a roller map of his fortress, with misshapen corridors, obtuse height and length, and dimensions that stretched outside the fortress perimeters.
Video game logic, Gamer figured, "Well, as long as we don't encounter any more explosives, I'll be happy."
"Gamer! I found a blue shell!" Minnie waved.
Gamer peered down and nearly digitized at the sight of all the anxious bobs. Sonia gushed over the walking fireworks, "So kawaii!"
"AH!!!" the bobs' fuses reignited.
"SON OF A B..." the chandeliers hit the mob of bobs and they detonated with rapturous destruction. The game lagged for a moment with how devastating they leveled the chapel.