"And everybody lived happily ever after," Gamer concluded the story.
Persica's face stayed buried in a hand, especially after the explicit retelling of their amorous congress. Lord Shellie, on the other hand, sat in a clump with his arms crossed. Gamer asked, "Any questions?"
Lord Shellie set the popcorn bucket aside and stood. He towered over Gamer with close proximity, "Your story is filled with silly stupidity and lies. Persica warned me about your antics."
"My mouth is my greatest weapon," Gamer said proudly, and then winked.
Lord Shellie glared at Persica, "And you...what happened? You used to be so...obedient and accommodating. Now you have these feelings and thoughts that go against our everlasting, unbreakable bond with these strange, new desires."
"It's okay to change," Persica said it almost as a plead.
"Not in my presence," Lord Shellie refused to bend. He pointed at Gamer, "Tell him you do not wish for him to be present. Order him to leave. If he disobeys, he is no friend of yours."
"Pookie bear, I can't..." his words pained her.
"Excuse me?" the rage built.
"Gamer has done nothing but help me!" Persica matched him. A lively fire lit up in her eyes. She stood on her toes and spoke up at Lord Shellie, "I have done what you asked, but you fail to hear even a word of mine. You want to break and mold Chanterelle to your liking. You want to use me for my confidants and resources. Yet not once have you taken my thoughts and ideas into consideration!"
Lord Shellie gawked at her rebuttal. Gamer could see his programming failing to respond to Persica's new pathway. Her evolved dialogue solidified before them, "Gamer hears me, sees me. I find myself relying on his actions and words, as he relies on me and mine. He is more than just a friend. He's...invaluable to me," Persica eyed Gamer. Her AI opened up to a whole new echelon of emotions and free thought.
"You dare defy me and become a harlot?!" Lord Shellie stomped. That alone made the floor tremble.
"No! I love you, but the way you treat me with little to no respect hurts me. What is love without mutuality?" Persica stood up for herself without Gamer.
"I know what's best! I am the future of this kingdom!" Lord Shellie roared.
"You? Just you?" tears welled up in Persica's eyes. "Why can't it be us?"
Her expression and words tore through Lord Shellie's infuriation. He staggered back from his betrothed's condition.
Gamer finally stepped in, but stayed seated, "Look, I know this is an emotional day for you. Trust me when I say Persica's head over heels for you. She wants to marry you."
"She cheated on me with you," Lord Shellie growled. "Even worse, your degeneracy spreads to her. You are vile."
"Sure, but I won't overstep my bounds when you guys tie the knot. I have Minnie, after all," Gamer smiled. It felt good to say.
"You won't stop the wedding?"
"Nah, but I'mma gonna am boink your guests. I want those Highrule artifacts," Gamer grinned. "And then during the honeymoon, we'll bang, okay?
"You are so strange," Lord Shellie still couldn't wrap his head around Gamer.
A hissing noise alerted the trio to the balcony. They watched a slipper-sized blue mouse head crawl around the balcony door and onto the floor. It wiggled erratically, and sounded like the burning fuse of a bomb. Persica screamed and jumped onto the couch, and Gamer joined her when the mouse head travelled under the couch. Based on its movements, it didn't seem to have a set path.
"What is that?" Gamer asked. When it came out from under the couch, Gamer noticed the mouse head was a mask. It was part of a glowing body, which propelled the thing forward like a bug.
Lord Shellie directed his confused anger at this foreign object, "How dare you threaten Persica? I'll kill you!"
Lord Shellie jumped high into the air and ahead of the path of the mouse. He dropped ass-first, like a meteor. Gamer yelled out, "Wait! It might...damn, nice buns."
"Damn, boi, he thicc!" Samira ヘ(* .* ヘ)
"I know, right?" Persica and Gamer admired Lord Shellie's underside. The lord butt bombed the mouse. An eruption blew out the windows of the room and engulfed the whole place in flames. The floor and walls collapsed from the force.
***
A few moments prior, farther up in the fortress...
Smoke smoldered out of a gaping hole in the wall. The plane that crashed through it was nothing but a messy pile of bent metal and stone debris. Asterion pushed a chunk of stone off him. He sat up and cracked his back. The crash landing was anything but graceful, but at the very least he was alive and inside the fortress.
"First one in...Sonia's going to be upset," Asterion laughed. His laugh echoed throughout the auditorium he busted into. Rows of seats were half filled by shellies, billies, and chumps. They were all in the middle of watching a play being performed. On stage, a dozen actors were in the midst of a story. They held picket sticks in hand, and attached to the sticks were paper versions of various characters. Three were Lord Shellie, Princess Persica, and Marco. The Lord Shellie actor was crushed under some of the wall rubble. The remaining performers were gobsmacked.
"No need to be alarmed. I have slain your lord, and by the rule of strength, that makes me king," Asterion quelled any rising tensions. He prepared his acting chops with do-re-mi.
"He ruined our show! Kill him!" one of the chumps yelled.
The whole auditorium threw their snacks and beverages. Each bounced, bonked, and twanged off of Asterion's ultimate muscles. Asterion didn't even need to move; he remained still with his hands on his hips. After the final popcorn bucket dinked against his jawline, he uttered, "Blocked it."
"He's impervious to all damage!" one billie started to panic.
One shellie threw himself into a pious bow, "All hail the new lord!"
More followed suit and quickly accepted Asterion as their new leader. The Persica actor scratched the back of her head, confused, "Dudes, that wasn't the actual Lord Shellie..."
"It speaks volumes of his acting abilities," Asterion commented.
"Thanks..." the Lord Shellie actor held up his picket to speak. He then continued to play dead.
Then, one by one, every NPCs' eyes glowed. The Proforce marker appeared in the center of the pupils. They started to cheer, and one word began to drown out all other noise, "Smash! Smash! Smash!"
The actors on stage went ballistic. They swung their pickets, kicked, screamed, and tackled one another to the ground. It was an all-out brawl.
They paid no mind to the bull man.
"Okay..." Asterion skeptically moved towards the doors in the back. He stepped out of the auditorium and into what appeared to be a central foyer that connected all the floors of the fortress. A large, wooden lift in the center could rise up to each floor, but numerous stairs stretched along the sides for alternative access. Too many doors to count could be seen from the bottom floor, but the height difference eventually obscured the highest floors.
Asterion grumbled, "I wonder why that symbol appeared in their eyes. They started to act differently. Like mind control. Ugh, if Gamer's right about the Illuminati stuff, I'm going to be pissed."
"A specimen of a man like you shouldn't let your emotions control you. It's too beta core," a nasty, manly voice said from above.
Asterion looked to the top of a staircase above him. It led into a small hallway that entered the auditorium, to a second level Asterion had missed. The voice belonged to a man walking along the railing. The man had sickly green skin, a slicked-back mane of red hair, and a large, prominent nose. His facial features were oddly angular, with an exaggerated jawline, right-angled cheekbones, a brow ridge that could cut diamonds, and plush lips. Black streaks ran through the hair, reminiscent of a certain edgelord. When the man glared down at the minotaur, Asterion saw a glimpse of indignation.
"Shade?" Asterion checked.
"You mistake me for another, bull man," the menacing character pressed into the railing. He wore form fitting clothing that covered everything but his neck and head. It consisted of thick, black fabrics and strapping, brown leathers. The man introduced himself, "I am the Edge Lord, the Simpless Sigma, the Looksmaxxing Deviant...Gamindorf!"