JESSICA'S POV
Do you believe in love at first sight?. Does it actually happen?. I mean i see it in movies and all, but i never actually believed in it. But ever since meeting or rather seeing Alex, that day that i was dumbly staring at him.
I honestly think that, that day i actually like fell in love with Alex. It might strange or funny, but after days of thinking, after spending time with him, i have already confirmed my feelings for him.
One funny thing is that we've been together, we've been neighbours, most times we just randomly spend time together and all that. Be we don't have each other contacts. Like seriously, no contacts not even social media name or something like that.
Most times when we're together i give hints so that he can at least get my number things like: "𝐴𝑚 ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑘𝑒𝑡 𝑖𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑎𝑛𝑦𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑐ℎ 𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑚𝑒".
He seems rathet oblivious or maybe he isn't interested in having my number. But nevertheless sometimes sometimes it feels like am going crazy. I. . . .most times if i just hear the tinniest sound from their house i go check or even go downstairs if he's the one.
While sometimes, absent mindedly or as if am being pulled by an unwanted force i just see myself in my balcony, just silently waiting for him yo stand outside or just staring at him if he's outside. It feels like anytime i see him my mood lifts and i suddenly feel happy.
I even.forgot about that so called lie bothering me. But if they find out that Alex was the one i met that day nothing would happen, my parents are already fond of him. So i will just tell them that i met him that day but just randomly lied.
Nothing could possibly go wrong or. . . . .
^ ~ ^ ~ ^ ~ ^
"You did what?!" I was both shocked and confused by what i had just heard katie say.
She told fave, why?. What exactly?. OMG!, what has Katie done.
"Jess, calm down" katie said in response that doesn't answer my question.
"Why?, I asked katie then continued.
"If i had wanted a third party i would have told someone else. . . . .but why Fave?"
"What do you mean 'why Fave', isn't she our friend? "
𝑂𝑢𝑟 𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑?
"What do you mean by 'our friend'?"
"Katie, have told you multiple times that i don't like her, and you're telling me that. . . .seriously? "
"Look. . . . Jess i don't know why you dislike Fave or why you're behaving so. . . .paranoid. But Fave is my friend so i told her.
𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑎𝑛𝑜𝑖𝑑?, 𝑠𝑒𝑟𝑖𝑜𝑢𝑠𝑙𝑦?, 𝑚𝑒?.
"Am being paranoid?, you just told my secret ti someone else and am being paranoid? ".
"She's our friend!" Katie shouted as a response then continued more calmly.
"Even if she's not your friend, she's my friend and I'll tell her what i deem fit "
𝑊ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑑𝑒𝑒𝑚 𝑓𝑖𝑡?. 𝑆𝑒𝑟𝑖𝑜𝑢𝑠𝑙𝑦?. 𝑀𝑦 𝑠𝑒𝑐𝑟𝑒𝑡, 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑠, 𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑒!.
"And the only thing you saw 'fit' to tell her was my secret?"
"Really?, Jess what's the big deal?" she asked calmly then continued.
"Yeah, i told her your secret, but i don't understand if they find out that Alex was the person you met that day, what could possibly go wrong?.... "
"...You clearly said your parents are fond of him already so....?. I just don't get"
𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑑𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑔𝑒𝑡 𝑖𝑡, 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡'𝑠 𝑖𝑡, 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑑𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑢𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑛𝑑 ℎ𝑜𝑤 𝑎𝑛𝑥𝑖𝑜𝑢𝑠 𝑎𝑚 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑔.
𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝐼 𝑑𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑢𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑤ℎ𝑦 𝑎𝑚 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑛𝑥𝑖𝑜𝑢𝑠.
After some minutes of just sitting there i just got up and left. I told katie i needed some time to process stuff and all.
I went to Katie house today to find out that she had already told Fave everything, when i say everything, i mean everything. Like it's so funny, she told Fave that it was Alex i meant that day, my supposedly lie that i told my parents. Everything single thing, and she's saying am being paranoid like seriously?.
How can i confide in my best friend and tell her a secret and she's telling another person, and suddenly is not her fault 'cause i don't like Fave and am being paranoid. It's no more a secret if she just randomly told someone else.
Honestly ...., i don't know why am feeling anxious or nervous. Did i overreact with Katie?. She had a point about my parents not really doing anything if they found out the truth. But, why tell someone else what i told you?
I have been having unhealthy nervous thoughts like:
"𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑖𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑔𝑒𝑡 𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑟𝑦 𝑎𝑡 𝑚𝑒 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑙𝑦𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑑 𝑚𝑒 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑠𝑒𝑒𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑜𝑟 𝑡𝑎𝑙𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 𝐴𝑙𝑒𝑥? 𝐼 𝑑𝑒𝑓𝑖𝑛𝑒𝑙𝑡𝑙𝑦 𝑐𝑎𝑛'𝑡 𝑏𝑒𝑎𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡.
" 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑖𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑛𝑡 ℎ𝑖𝑚, 𝑎𝑛𝑑 ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑒𝑒𝑠 𝑚𝑒 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡'𝑠 𝑎𝑠ℎ𝑎𝑚𝑒 𝑜𝑓 ℎ𝑖𝑚, 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑𝑠ℎ𝑖𝑝 𝑒𝑛𝑑𝑠, " 𝑖 𝑑𝑒𝑓𝑖𝑛𝑒𝑙𝑡𝑙𝑦 𝑐𝑎𝑛'𝑡 𝑐𝑜𝑝𝑒 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡, 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝑖 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠 𝑓𝑜𝑟 ℎ𝑖𝑚.
𝑜𝑟 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑠𝑒.
"𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑖𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑚𝑖𝑠𝑢𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑘 ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑚𝑦 𝑠𝑢𝑝𝑝𝑜𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑙𝑘𝑒𝑟?, 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑖 𝑑𝑖𝑑𝑛'𝑡 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑒𝑥𝑝𝑜𝑠𝑒 ℎ𝑖𝑚?" that would be worse alex would defineltly feel betrayed.
But ...just but if there mind go to that extent it might co-relate ' cause i told them that my stalker was standing in front of alex's current house.just what if their mind reaches that extent?
OMG!. i need to stop having such negative thoughts, the betrayal would be massive. but if it were to come to that extent i would just explain myself in order to clear things out, atleast i'd get punish, but it would be better than him feeling i betrayed him.