The courtyard of the Aegis Citadel was packed with hundreds of heavily armed knights, but all you could hear was the sound of Maya sighing loudly.
She was leaning against a stone fountain, tapping her manicured nails against the rim. The novelty of the giant, imposing human castle had worn off entirely in less than an hour. Leo was nearby, tossing a solid gold royal goblet up and down like a baseball, looking equally bored.
"This place has zero aesthetic, Leo," Maya complained, adjusting her sun hat. "It's all gray stone and stressed-out old men in robes. I feel like I'm trapped in a historical documentary. I want greenery. I want scenery."
Just then, the grand courtyard doors swung open. An emissary strode in to deliver a report to the kings. He was tall, impossibly graceful, and had long, shimmering silver hair that caught the sunlight perfectly.
Maya froze. She pulled her sunglasses down to the tip of her nose. "Hold on. Is that...?"
"An Elf, O Great Hero," King Aldric whispered nervously, hovering a few feet away. "An emissary from the Verdant Realm of the North."
"Look at his skin," Maya whispered to Leo, completely ignoring the king. "It's glowing. Not a single pore. Whatever skincare routine they have in that forest, I want it. Pack the bags, Leo. We are going to the Elven Kingdom."
Leo grinned, tossing the gold goblet over his shoulder where it shattered a stone gargoyle to dust. "You heard the lady, Al! Get the carriage ready! We're hitting the road!"
Far above the courtyard, hidden perfectly within the dark shadows of the castle's bell tower, a pair of glowing purple eyes narrowed.
It was Zephyr, the Elite Shadow Assassin of the Demon Realm. Dispatched by Lord Kaelen, he was a being made of pure, condensed darkness, capable of moving through the void and slicing a man's soul in half before they even blinked. He had come to eliminate the source of the terrifying aura that had interrupted the Demon War.
He watched the couple below. These were the threats? A man in a garish floral shirt and a woman complaining about her skin? It was almost insulting.
Zephyr melted into the shadows, diving down the walls of the tower like a drop of ink in water. He emerged directly behind Maya's shadow, drawing twin daggers coated in lethal, soul-burning poison.
He didn't even breathe. He struck with the speed of a lightning bolt, aiming directly for Maya's neck.
CLANG.
The poisoned daggers stopped dead. They hadn't hit armor or a magical shield.
Leo was standing there, holding his duty-free shopping bag in one hand. He had casually reached out with his other hand and caught both of the assassin's blades between his index and middle finger. He wasn't even looking at the assassin; he was still looking at Maya.
"Should we take the scenic route or the fast route?" Leo asked her, completely unfazed.
Zephyr's eyes widened in absolute terror. He pulled with all his demonic strength, but the blades wouldn't budge a single millimeter. It was like they were locked in the jaws of a god.
"W-What are you?!" Zephyr hissed, his shadow-form beginning to violently destabilize from the sheer, crushing pressure radiating from Leo's two fingers. "I am the blade of the Demon Lords! I am the shadow that brings—"
"You're interrupting," Maya snapped.
She turned around, profoundly annoyed, and lazily swatted her hand through the air as if shooing away a fly.
The physical force of her casual backhand created a localized hurricane. The shockwave hit Zephyr so hard that his shadowy form didn't just break—it evaporated. The sheer kinetic energy blew a massive, fifty-foot hole straight through the castle's reinforced outer wall, completely vaporizing the assassin and launching the debris miles into the distant mountains.
Silence descended on the courtyard. The human knights dropped their swords in sheer, mind-numbing shock. The Elven emissary stared at the gaping hole in the fortress wall, his jaw practically hitting the floor.
Maya looked down. A tiny speck of ash from the vaporized assassin had landed on the toe of her designer sandal.
Her eye twitched.
"That's it," she said, her voice dropping to a terrifying, icy whisper that made the surrounding knights burst into tears of fear. "My honeymoon is officially ruined. The vibe is dead. Get me to the Elven Kingdom right now, or I am turning this entire continent into a parking lot."
Leo dusted off his hands, patting King Aldric on the shoulder. "You heard the boss, Al. Bring out the carriage. And maybe get someone to sweep up your little assassin friend over there."