The Spell spoke to him with a distant voice, but he couldn't register it. He was occupied with calming his pained soul as he returned from the Mind World. Thankfully, that was the last thing the Spell announced before falling silent.
He took a deep breath and looked around. He was still sitting in his room. The window let in a fresh breeze, and the sky remained dark. A few purple motes were making their way across the horizon, signaling that a new day was soon to arrive.
'Myself'... No, that wasn't right.
He had said 'Him' at the end, that he would claim his name. Yet, it wasn't easy.
He wanted nothing more than to regain a name. Existing as 'Myself' had been enough while dealing with the 'Other One,' but thinking of himself as 'Myself' going forward wouldn't be sufficient. Despite that, he couldn't come to terms with abandoning his forgotten name.
"So this is the conflicting paradox of self-realization, huh?" He muttered with a humorless laugh. "Despite committing such an abominable act just to remain as myself, by claiming a new name, I would ultimately stop being my former self. I would forfeit my old 'Me' in an attempt to become a completely new 'Me.'"
"Could I still consider this new self to be 'me'? Or would this 'me' cease to exist? I mean, this is just a senseless philosophical dilemma. The truth is that in the end, my being would still be 'me,' right?"
He closed his eyes and stayed silent for a long time. The light of dawn began to enter through the window, and finally, Zachary opened his eyes.
"God, I forgot how much I hate paradoxes and these kinds of philosophical questions," he sighed, leaning back onto the bed. "Yet I can't stop thinking about them. Is this what they call a love-hate relationship?"
He looked around the room, then at the cold food still sitting on the table. With a sigh, he sat down and began slowly eating.
"I can't remain in this state. I'm still inside the Nightmare, after all. All my efforts to remain as myself will be for naught if I die pathetically. So I need to focus."
With that, he continued eating while thinking, "First, I need to see what's new with me, then I'll go over everything I know about this cursed Nightmare."
He invoked his runes.
Name: Zachary.
True Name: ---
Rank: Aspirant.
Soul Core: Dormant.
Memories: [Ender's Solace].
Echoes: ----
Attributes: [The Fool] [Mark of Sin] [Conqueror's Soul].
Aspect: [Mundane Prisoner].
Aspect Description: You're a prisoner of the ordinary, a mere pebble in the infinite grand river of things. Yet you yearn for the unordinary.
Ok, there were a few changes he could see compared to the first time he saw his runes. The first and most noteworthy was that he no longer felt repulsion reading his name. The second change was that his attributes had evolved.
"True, I can vaguely remember how the Spell said that my attributes were evolving," Zachary muttered. "But wasn't the evolution supposed to be done by me? I remember when Sunny consumed Weaver's Blood, the Spell asked him if he wanted to evolve his attribute."
It seemed that his [Usurper] attribute had evolved into the [Mark of Sin]. And [Soul Companion] had transformed into [Conqueror's Soul].
"Well, it's not like I would have said no," Zachary muttered to himself, then proceeded to check the descriptions.
[The Fool] Attribute Description: "It appears you're new in this world, an innocent child who hasn't met hardship. Because of that, you're open to a vast number of opportunities. Your naivety makes you the bearer of infinite potential. Fate will follow you, showering you with events so you can grow into The World."
[Mark of Sin]Attribute Description: "It is said that there is no sin in being born, yet you have tarnished this sacred statement by seizing that which doesn't belong to you. You'll forever bear this mark, no matter the penances you undergo."
[Conqueror's Soul] Attribute Description: "You were given the opportunity to become a unique existence, paving the beginning of understanding and cooperation between two distinct souls sharing a common goal. Yet your pride and your ego couldn't accept such an outcome. So, you conquered and dominated. Now your soul bears the potency of two, and a craving for conquest."
Zachary stayed silent for a moment, closing his eyes with a pained sigh.
"Thinking about it... I might have said no," he murmured.
"Fuck... It's no use crying over spilled milk." He paused, frowning. "But man, it pains me looking at the [Mark of Sin] attribute. I can see the advantages that the [Soul Conqueror] attribute can give. If I'm able to awaken, my essence will be twice as potent. But I can't see what effect the [Mark of Sin] has on me."
Zachary quickly closed his eyes and concentrated, trying to feel something different within him, but he couldn't detect anything.
"Is it just a stigma I have to bear? A constant reminder of the act I committed?" He sighed, turning back to his runes. His mind wandered briefly, remembering how the Spell had announced the kill of a dormant beast... The Original One.
With a pang in his chest, Zachary summoned his new memory.
It appeared in his hands, surrounded by white sparks—a straight black Asian sword. Was it called Han Jian? He wasn't sure, as he had never been a connoisseur when it came to weapons, but he remembered reading descriptions of them in novels.
He knew nothing about weapons, so he didn't know what to check—whether it was the weight, balance, or anything else.
"Man, if I had known I'd transmigrate, I would have studied more useful things than philosophy... I mean, everything is more useful than philosophy."
Zachary lampooned with a chuckle. With a sigh, he checked the weapon's runes.
Memory: [Ender's Solace].
Memory Rank: ???
Memory Type: Weapon.
Memory Description: [There is not a single soul who wishes to die. Yet one lost soul was persuaded with trickery and lies to lay down his life by -unknown-. Despite being wronged, this pitiable soul wished to accompany his transgressor on his journey. Given empty promises of being placed among the stars, this soul will follow him without receiving a single praise.]
"What the fuck is the problem with the Spell?" Zachary exclaimed with a frown. "It talks as if it has some kind of grudge against me."
He quickly calmed himself and continued his thoughts.
"There are some things to notice about this memory. The most important one being how it refers to me as '—unknown—'.'"
Zachary sat in his room, a cloud of uncertainty hovering over him. He had barely scratched the surface of understanding the intricacies of his new existence, and already, so many questions remained unanswered.
He reflected deeply. "Let's not jump to conclusions. I need to remember that the Spell doesn't use the term '-unknown-' in any special way. It only refers to beings it can't name or recognize, just like in the shadowbound memory that Sunny made for Nephis. So since my existence as a transmigrator is alien to the Spell, it doesn't have a way to name me."
But Zachary wasn't able to accept this thought easily.
"I really hope that's the explanation," he muttered to himself. "Because if this '-unknown-' is the same as what I'm thinking about, then my transmigration is far more complicated than I thought."
He leaned back in his chair, trying to process his thoughts. The other thing that caught his attention was the rank of the memory. Normally, when you kill a dormant creature, you receive a dormant memory, but this one felt different.
"Why is this memory ranked the way it is?" Zachary pondered. "It shouldn't be this complicated. The rank should simply correspond to the act of slaying the Original One. But something is off. Since I assimilated his Soul with my [Soul Conqueror] attribute, this memory must have bound itself to my Soul, taking on the rank of my Soul in the process."
The realization settled in slowly, and Zachary sighed deeply. "Questions, questions, and more questions. I should be the one with the most knowledge about this world, yet here I am, lost in situations I can't even answer."
He ran a hand through his hair, frustration creeping in, but he quickly quelled it. "I'll figure it out later. For now, I need to focus on ending this Nightmare. There's no time to waste on pondering everything that doesn't matter right now."
Just as he was about to dive back into his thoughts, his focus was interrupted by a sharp knock on the door. His body tensed, the sudden break in his contemplation taking him off guard.
With a swift motion, Zachary dismissed the memory, his mind shifting gears. Whoever was on the other side of that door might be someone important, and he needed to be ready.