I sat there, my heart beating so hard I thought it might burst out of my chest.
My fingers trembled around the pen.
I read his words again.
"I can bring a living person into the past, Azalea."
The sentence refused to feel real.
I swallowed.
Then, with shaky handwriting, I wrote,
"As in..."
I paused, trying to put the impossible into words.
"You can take me to the past..."
Another pause.
"And I can meet the real you?"
"Yes."
The single word made my heart pound.
I couldn't believe it.
I didn't know whether I should feel happy, scared, or sad.
Happy... because I could finally meet the person who had become my greatest comfort.
Scared... because I was about to step into a time that wasn't mine.
I wasn't thinking about how much I'd miss home.
Not at all.
All I could think about was him.
I had a terrible crush on him.
It was stupid.
Ridiculous, even.
But now...
I could actually meet him?
The thought made my heart race.
I didn't know whether to feel excited, terrified, or simply curious.
It was the past.
A timeline that no longer existed.
Where would I even go?
Where would I stay?
I wasn't a little kid who could be dropped off at an orphanage.
I was seventeen.
A complete stranger in a world that had never known me.
I slowly picked up the pen again.
My hand was still trembling.
"Woah..."
I stared at the page for a moment before continuing.
"Is this real?"
For a brief moment, nothing happened.
The page remained blank.
Then, one letter after another, dark ink seeped into the paper.
"As real as you and me."
I let out a shaky breath.
I traced the words with my eyes, hoping they would suddenly disappear.
They didn't.
"You really... can?" I wrote.
"I can."
"Then..."
I hesitated.
A hundred questions fought to be written first.
"Can I really meet you?"
There was a long pause.
Long enough for my heart to sink.
Then his reply appeared.
"Yes."
"But once you step into the past..."
The next sentence appeared more slowly.
"Nothing will ever be the same again."
I looked away from the diary, my face growing warm.
I couldn't believe I was about to admit this.
I took a deep breath and wrote,
"I mean... I want to meet you."
The moment I finished the sentence, my cheeks flushed.
How embarrassing.
His reply came after a short pause.
"It's kind of risky."
"Are you sure you'd be able to handle being away from home?"
Another line appeared.
"And the me you'll meet..."
"He's cold."
"Unpredictable."
"I can't promise he'll trust you that easily."
I quickly wrote,
"Then... the past you won't remember any of the conversations we're having right now?"
His answer came almost instantly.
"Obviously, he wouldn't."
A few seconds passed before more words appeared.
"But... if it's you, I think you'll be able to earn his trust."
I smiled without realizing it.
Then the next lines appeared.
"Azalea... I don't fully understand my powers yet."
"I don't know exactly where you'll end up... or what you'll be doing once you're there."
"And if any of this disturbs the timeline..."
There was a pause.
Long enough for my smile to fade.
"You might never be able to come back."
I felt my stomach tighten.
Another sentence slowly formed beneath it.
"Time is... complicated."
"A part of me wants you to meet the boy I once was."
"To understand him."
"Maybe even heal the wounds he carried before they became scars."
The ink lingered for a moment before one final line appeared.
"But I'd never forgive myself if I was the reason you lost your future."
My grip on the pen tightened.
I looked down at the page for a long time before I finally wrote,
"What do I even have in this life?"
"Being told to study all day..."
"Getting scolded..."
"Feeling like I'm never enough."
The words blurred as my eyes stung.
I took a shaky breath and continued.
"The only part of my day that I actually look forward to..."
"Is talking to you."
There was a long silence.
Then his words slowly appeared.
"It's all up to you, Azalea."
"But I want you to think about it carefully before you decide."
"There's no rush."
"Take all the time you need."
I let out a quiet sigh.
He was giving me a choice.
A real one.
I looked down at the page and smiled faintly before writing just one word.
"Okay."
Or perhaps...
"Yes."
The next morning, reality greeted me before I had even opened my eyes.
A loud knock.
"Azalea! Are you still sleeping? Exams are around the corner!"
I forced myself out of bed.
The day only grew worse.
A forgotten assignment.
A teacher's disappointed stare.
Whispers from classmates that followed me down the corridor.
By the time I reached home, another lecture was waiting.
"Do you even think about your future?"
"You spend too much time daydreaming."
"You have so much potential, yet you waste it."
I stood there in silence, nodding at every word until they finally walked away.
No one asked if I was tired.
No one asked if I was okay.
That night, I sat in front of my desk with the diary resting where it always was.
For several minutes, I simply stared at its worn cover.
Then I opened it.
The pages welcomed me like they always did.
I picked up my pen.
"Today was... exhausting."
The words came more easily than I expected.
"Every day feels exactly the same."
"Everyone keeps telling me how I should live, what I should become, and how I'm never doing enough."
A drop of ink spread beneath the tip of my pen.
"Maybe I'm just running away..."
"But for the first time in a long while..."
"The past doesn't scare me."
I closed my eyes.
When I opened them again, my hand was already moving.
"I've thought about it."
A deep breath escaped my lips.
"I know it's risky."
"I know there's a chance I may never return."
I swallowed the lump in my throat.
Then, with a heart full of fear and hope, I wrote,
"Veiren..."
"Take me to the past."