It was a very busy week for me because I had to complete a project. As the team leader, my responsibilities were great—almost everything depended on me. I was so busy and stressed that I barely had time to eat and slept very little. I knew I was pushing myself too hard. The last thing I remembered was sitting in front of my computer with a severe migraine, dizziness, and numb hands before I suddenly passed out.
I woke up in the hospital, with Nao, my mother, Fai, and Tiger taking care of me in the room.
"How's the project?" That was the first question that came out of my mouth before I even realized it.
"It's done," Nao replied while pushing me to lie back down. "The people working with you took you to the hospital and contacted me to let me know."
"What day is it?"
"Sunday. You passed out yesterday."
"Ah," I sighed in relief, knowing the project was completed. As that worry disappeared, I felt utterly exhausted, as if my energy was completely drained. I looked at everyone's faces, filled with concern for me. This wasn't the first time I had worked too hard and ended up in the hospital.
I usually worked extremely hard. I knew that stress had built up in my body—something difficult to shake off because I was always busy working. Sometimes, I brought work home. During project deadlines, my body would collapse like it did now.
"Dan," Nao said, looking like he wanted to cry. "We've talked and think you should quit. Even though this job pays well, it brings pressure, stress, and a lot of responsibility. Your boss isn't very kind. Haven't you considered working at that foreign company that contacted you before? That job suits you better, with less workload, good pay, and a good boss. Someone as talented as you should be able to go further."
"No, Nao," I said hoarsely. "I chose this job because it's close to home and offers good pay. Even though the workload is heavy, I chose to stay here so I could be with all of you." I told the truth. "I'm sorry for making you worry, but I've just made a decision."
"What decision?"
"I'll save money until I'm thirty, then quit and become a kindergarten teacher."
"What?" Mom and Nao were shocked. "A kindergarten teacher?"
"Yes," I nodded. "You know I never had big dreams of becoming a billionaire or having an outstanding financial career. We don't have financial problems now. If I keep going like this, my health will only get worse. I want to quit with emergency savings and live life as I want."
"Ah," Nao opened his mouth. "Do you like working with children?"
"Yes, actually, I wanted to be an elementary or middle school teacher. I enjoy teaching, giving advice, and guiding children. But working with preschool kids could be fun too."
We used to have financial struggles, so I was determined to make a lot of money. I studied hard and went abroad to increase my opportunities. Now, we no longer have financial difficulties. My mother didn't work hard anymore—she only did it for enjoyment. Nao had a good income and could take care of himself and Fai.
Meanwhile, Tiger was practically a billionaire.
"Good," Nao sighed. "Thank you for deciding to quit. If you kept going like this, you'd make me stressed too. Do you know that you've been accumulating stress and exhaustion?"
I nodded. "Yes, I know. I try to relax, but I'm the type of person who overthinks, as you know. I get stressed easily. Lately, meeting Jay has made me forget about work and think about him."
"That's also stressed," Nao said. "You have to teach him, talk to him, all the time."
"No, watching Jay grow makes me happy. Oh, how is he, Tiger? I haven't heard from him all week."
"Hmm," Tiger thought. "You asked me to help him socialize, so some people talked to him kindly, but he didn't respond. He only spoke when necessary with Ryan during training. He ate alone, followed the schedule, then returned to his room."
"Oh," I nodded, then asked again. "He didn't talk to anyone?"
"No. Besides that, he seems to daydream a lot."
"Daydream?"
"Some people saw him lost in thought when he was free or staring at his phone, maybe waiting for a message from you."
"Hmm?" I raised an eyebrow, surprised. "I already told him that I'd be busy for a week."
I grabbed my phone, checking the messages I had sent to Jay.
[Dan]: Jay, sorry. I'll be busy for a week.
[Dan]: I'm very busy with work, so I won't be using my phone much.
[Dan]: Take care of yourself this week. Eat well.
[Dan]: Get enough rest and have sweet dreams.
[Dan]: Jay, if you need anything, call me. Don't just text.
[Dan]: See you, Jay.
Then I noticed the arrow in the message box, showing that the messages were still being sent… That meant the messages never reached Jay. Oh no! How did this happen?
"I sent messages, but they weren't delivered," I said, feeling frustrated with the LINE app. At that time, I was in a rush, so I typed the messages and moved on without checking again, thinking they had gone through. But they hadn't. I quickly sent Jay a message.
[Dan]: Jay, sorry.
[Dan]: I sent you messages saying I'd be busy and couldn't contact you.
[Dan]: But they didn't go through.
[Dan]: I'm done with work now. How are you?
[Jayden]: Dan.
[Jayden]: What are you doing?
[Dan]: I'm in the hospital.
[Dan]: But I think I'll be discharged soon.
[Jayden]: Hospital?
[Jayden]: What happened to you?
[Jayden]: Are you hurt?
[Dan]: Just a little sick.
[Dan]: I'll come see you around 1 PM.
[Jayden]: Yes.
[Jayden]: I'll wait.
I couldn't help but smile at his sweet attention. I exited the LINE chat with Jay and checked if there were any messages from others. I saw that Great, the boxer, had sent me a message asking general things. I replied politely. My colleagues from the project also asked how I was doing, and Dr. Tonfah inquired about Jay.
[Tonfah]: How is Jayden?
[Dan]: Sorry for not replying earlier, Doctor.
[Dan]: I've been very busy.
[Dan]: I haven't seen Jay for a week.
[Dan]: But Tiger's people are watching over him.
[Dan]: Can we talk on the phone later, Doctor?
After sending messages to everyone, I put down my phone and continued talking with everyone. Not long after, the doctor came to check on me. As expected, I was exhausted, lacked rest, didn't eat well, and was stressed. He prescribed me some medicine and vitamins.
On the way home, my phone rang. It was Dr. Tonfah answering.
[Tonfah]: Yes, I can...
[Dan]: I'm in the car.
[Dan]: Can we talk in about twenty minutes?
[Tonfah]: Of course.
Dr. Tonfah is a psychiatrist recommended by Tiger.
When we were in Japan, I asked Tiger to bring a psychiatrist to see Jay, but Jay never spoke to that doctor. He didn't answer any questions, so the doctor couldn't diagnose, treat, or prescribe him anything. Besides, we couldn't say that Jay had been a killer, so the treatment didn't work.
However, now that we were in Thailand, and since Jay started speaking more often, I reconsidered his treatment. I asked Tiger for recommendations, and he suggested Dr. Tonfah, saying that he was trustworthy and we could tell everything about Jay. I had only recently met the doctor, and I hadn't taken Jay to see him yet. We only talked on the phone. He said he needed to meet Jay in person, but for now, I had to observe Jay's actions and words.
When I got home, I sat in the garden while my mother and Fai prepared lunch. I planned to go see Jay after lunch. I called the doctor.
"Hello, Doctor."
He answered with his usual warm voice. I had never met him in person, but his voice was full of kindness.
[You said you were busy? Are you okay?]
"Yes, I just got out of the hospital. I fainted."
[That's unfortunate. Take care of your health.]
"Thank you. About Jay..."
[What have Tiger's people observed?]
I told him what Tiger had mentioned earlier. "What do you think, Doctor?"
[He doesn't talk to anyone and only waits for your messages. He seems unfocused, something that doesn't happen when he's with you. That shows that he misses you. I see Jayden as a child. Despite his past as a killer, now under Tiger's supervision, there's no need to worry about him being dangerous. I see him as an ordinary child.]
"Yeah." I nodded, even though no one could see me, as I listened to what the doctor said.
[It's normal for children to get attached to their caregivers. But when they leave home and meet friends at school, they play and talk with them. Only a few children remain alone. There could be many reasons. He might be nervous and not show it, he might have had a bad experience, or he might just not like socializing. But the key factor is you, Dan. You are the only person Jayden trusts. You're with him, giving him your time. If he's nervous, you calm him down. If he has had bad experiences, you help heal his emotional wounds. But if he just doesn't like socializing, that could simply be his personality and not something serious.]
"Do you think I should find out the reason?"
[Yes. But don't force him to talk to others. Do it gradually. Observe Jay. You've been doing a good job by teaching him, asking him questions, and giving him time to decide. Small things like letting him introduce himself instead of you doing it help build his confidence.]
"Yeah. I did that because I read a book about parenting," I said. I always let Jay introduce himself.
[It would be nice to know all the details, but it's up to the patient to reveal what they want.]
"I have information about Jay that Tiger provided, but I never read it out of respect for his privacy."
[That's good. Tell Jay about me. Ask him about his life and request his permission to share it with the doctor. He might only want to tell you. If he doesn't want to, don't force him. Jayden should be asked for his opinion first. Also, tell him that I want to meet him, but it should be his decision.]
"What if he doesn't want to talk or meet you?"
[Just observe him, and I'll give you advice on what to do. As long as it's not dangerous to others or affecting his daily life, it's not serious. You should keep a close watch on him. I know you're working hard, but do your best.]
"Yes, thank you very much," I said, bowing my head slightly. "Doctor..."
[Yes?]
"I want to know your opinion about Jay. From everything Tiger and I have told you, what do you think about him?" I decided to ask because the doctor seemed to understand people well. I thought I understood others too, but with Jay, I couldn't figure him out.
[You want to know my opinion?]
"Yes, any guesses or ideas you might have."
[Yes, but remember, this is just an opinion based on what I've heard. Don't take it as fact. Starting with the red roses. Jayden only likes red roses, not other red flowers or red objects. He doesn't like them because they resemble blood, as you worried. If he disliked blood, then it's likely Jayden didn't enjoy killing. He was just following orders to complete a mission. Killers who enjoy killing take pleasure in hearing screams, seeing frightened faces, and torturing their victims. Serial killers choose victims with similar traits, like long-haired, fair-skinned women, because of childhood trauma. Jayden is not like that. He said, 'I want them to stay' when the roses wilted. The red roses represent someone. He only wants roses, not too many. When he saw a fake rose, he got angry. He doesn't like fake roses because that person is not fake; they are real. Jayden's feelings for that person are genuine.]
"...Yeah."
[But by saying, 'I want them to stay,' it's possible that the person is no longer there. Regarding the cake, he likes homemade ones. Someone Jayden loved might have made cakes for him. It's uncertain, but it's possible. About education, killers don't need formal education, but Jayden has an elementary school level. Maybe Jayden lived like a normal child until he was seven or eight years old, or slightly younger if he was homeschooled. That's just my guess.]
"Thank you very much." I thanked him again. We talked a little more about the appointment and ended the call. The doctor said he could come if I was too busy, but I didn't want to trouble him. I would find time to take Jay, but I had to ask him first if he was willing.
I stood in the garden for a while until Fai came to call me for lunch, holding my hand.
"Uncle, don't get sick again."
I smiled. "I won't."
"Promise?"
"I promise," I said confidently. I would take care of my health and resign soon, or else I would be sacrificing myself for this company. "Fai, can I ask you something?"
"Yes."
"Are there any friends at school who don't like socializing, who are always alone?"
"There is. The teacher says Fairy is shy. Friends should talk to and play with her."
"Tell me, what happened?"
"I tried playing with her a few times. Now we play together, but she doesn't talk much. I talk a lot in class. She cried easily, she tripped and cried. When I blew on her wound, she cried even harder because she said my saliva touched her wound."
"But you did well," I praised her.
"Even so, next time, take your friend to the teacher. Are there any friends who never play with anyone?"
"No."
"And friends who get bullied?"
"Fairy was bullied, but I drove the naughty kids away. Papa said we should help if we can."
"That's great."
"Yes, when I go to high school, I will be like Papa. I will go to the same school as Papa, Daddy, and Uncle."
"Why?"
"I will be the leader of the 'Rusty Nails' gang." Upon hearing that, Nao immediately turned around.
"How do you know about that?"
"Uncle Jab told me when we were playing."
"...," Nao was silent. Mom and I held back our laughter. "Don't listen to him too much. He likes to talk nonsense."
"Haha," I laughed. "Does that gang still exist?"
"It's been passed down from generation to generation, Dan. I don't understand why," Nao said softly. "Hmmh, let's eat."
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
Tiger asked the driver to take me to the boxing gym because I still couldn't drive. When I arrived, I saw Jay sitting outside waiting. When Jay saw me, he immediately ran toward me.
"Dan. How are you?"
"I'm fine."
He smiled and nodded.
"Dan."
"Hm?"
Jay stared at me intensely. "Your face isn't red anymore," he said, pointing at my cheek. "It's usually red."
"Oh, I've been working a lot," I explained. "Like I said, I just got out of the hospital. I fainted because I overworked, ate too little, and lacked rest. That's why my face is pale."
Jayden furrowed his brows. "You fainted?"
"Yes."
"Why didn't you eat or rest? You said that if I don't eat or rest, it's bad for my body."
"Yes, I said that, but I couldn't do it myself," I smiled sadly. "I'm not a good example."
"Dan, are you not okay?"
"Yeah, I'm tired."
"Are you going to die?"
"No, I'm not going to die," I replied. "I got out of the hospital because I got better. Hey... what are you doing?" I was surprised when Jayden started wrapping my hands. He didn't answer, then took the boxing gloves and pointed at the punching bag.
"Dan, hit it a hundred times."
"... Why?"
"You said exercise makes the body stronger."
"Yeah," I chuckled. "But I'm tired, I can't exercise right now. It could make me feel worse."
"Then what should you do?"
"Umm, eat and rest."
Jayden removed the bandages from my hands and took me to the gym's cafeteria. He told me to wait and went to order food. I wanted to tell him that I had already eaten, but I didn't get the chance. I was happy to see him able to order food by himself. Soon, four plates of food were in front of me.
"Dan, eat."
"All of this? But... I already ate."
"You have to eat."
"..."
"Mom said we have to eat to live. You have to eat to live," he said in his usual flat tone. I was surprised because, for the first time, he mentioned his mother. He pushed the food toward me, and I had to eat. I ate a little but quickly felt full.
"I'm full. Sorry."
Jay kept pushing the food toward me, almost forcing me to eat more.
"Jay, I'm going to throw up," I said. I was too full to the point of feeling nauseous. "We have to eat just enough, not too much. Eating too much isn't good for health."
"...Yes." Jay lowered his hand and took the plates away. Even though he looked regretful, I had no choice. He led me to his room.
"Dan, sleep."
"What?"
"You said that if you're tired, you have to eat and rest."
"I just ate, I can't sleep yet."
"Then rest first before sleeping." I sat on the sofa; this was my first time in his room. I looked around without realizing that Jay had already sat on the floor, resting his head on my lap. I was surprised.
"Jay. What's wrong? You can tell me."
"Dan, don't disappear. I want you to be here."
I smiled and stroked his head. "I understand. I'm sorry."
Jay continued resting his head on my lap. The room was silent. I could feel that he was feeling unwell, and it affected me. I blamed myself for being too busy with work and not having time for Jay.
"Jay."
"Yes?" he answered without lifting his head.
"Do you remember in Japan when I took you to the doctor, but you didn't talk to them?" I kept stroking his head. He nodded. "I'm not an expert, so I want you to see a specialist, like a psychiatrist. They can help with mental health. They can help you with worries, stress, anything on your mind."
"How do they help?"
"They give advice, therapy, or medication."
"Can they stop you from disappearing?"
"What?" I raised an eyebrow. "How?"
"I'm worried that you will disappear. Can they help with that?"
I smiled. "You don't need help for that. I won't disappear."
"Alright."
"But you have to tell them about yourself. That way, they can help you better. You can trust them. You can tell them everything."
Jay shook his head.
"You don't want to talk?"
He nodded.
"Do you want to tell me?"
"What do you want to know?"
"Everything about you."
"Everything?"
"Yes."
Jay fell silent.
"I won't force you. Just tell me what you want to tell." I lifted his head and sat on the floor, looking at him. "To be fair, do you want to know about me?"
He nodded.
"What do you want to know?"
"Everything."