My opportunity came sooner than I expected.
A week later, an official email arrived in my student inbox. It was from the administrator of the Vance Applied Biologics partnership. Due to the "productive interdisciplinary dialogue" at the symposium, they were organizing a small, weekend workshop at a private ecological reserve owned by the university happening this weekend. The goal was to foster "blue-sky thinking" about sustainable solutions. A handful of top graduate students were invited to participate.
My name was on the list.
I stared at the screen for a long moment, my heart pounding. This was not a coincidence. This was his move. He was bringing me into his territory, but on his terms. He wanted to observe me, to dissect my motives in a controlled environment where he held all the advantages.
It was a predator's gambit. He was setting the trap now.
I accepted without hesitation.
I barely had time to process before my phone buzzed with Apple's ringtone—that damn "Soda Pop" song still blaring at full volume.
Apple: G! Saturday! Shopping! Remember? You promised! You said, and I quote, "I will go with you and I will not complain about the crowds." Those were your words. Your exact words. I have witnesses.
Me: About that...
Apple: NO. No, no, no. I hear that tone. That's the "I'm about to bail on me" tone. What's happening?
Me: I have to cancel. Something came up.
Apple: Something? SOMETHING? What something could possibly be more important than watching me try on seventeen different dresses while you sit there looking at a boring book that could bore any living creature on this planet to death while giving non-committal nods?
Me: I got invited to a workshop. Weekend thing. Ecological reserve. Very academic.
There was a pause. A long, ominous pause.
Apple: Let me guess. Hosted by a certain someone's company. Taking place in a remote location. With cabins and forests and absolutely no witnesses.
Me: That's a very dramatic way of putting it.
Apple: DRAMATIC? G, this is literally the plot of every horror movie I've ever seen. Beautiful woman goes to remote location with mysterious rich man who definitely has issues. Next thing you know, she's running through the woods in her bare feet while something evil chases her. I've seen this. I've seen this TWELVE TIMES on criminal minds.
Me: It's an academic workshop. There will be professors and other students. It's perfectly safe.
Apple: Safe. SAFE. You're going to a forest with a man who literally RAN AWAY from you in a coffee shop and now suddenly wants you in his territory? That's not safe. That's a nature documentary where the predator lures the prey into familiar hunting grounds.
Me: You watch too many nature documentaries and crime series.
Apple: I watch APPROPRIATE amounts of nature documentaries and crime series. There's a difference.
Another pause, then her voice shifted into something more serious but still tinged with her signature chaos.
Apple:Okay. Okay. If you're going, you're going prepared. Do you have pepper spray?
Me: I don't need pepper spray.
Apple: Everyone needs pepper spray. I'll buy you some. What about a whistle? Can you whistle? Actually, don't answer that. I'll buy you a whistle too. And one of those personal alarms that makes an ear-piercing sound when you pull the cord.
Me: I'm not bringing a personal alarm to an academic workshop.
Apple: You're BRINGING it. End of discussion. And Jessica.
Me: Jessica?
Apple: The rolling pin. She's coming with you. In your bag. Ready for action.
Me: I can't bring a rolling pin to a workshop.
Apple: Why not? It's just kitchen equipment. You're a student. Students have kitchens. It's perfectly normal to travel with kitchen equipment. Just say, you're... emotionally attached to it. It was your grandmother's. There. Problem solved.
Me: I don't have a grandmother.
Apple: FICTIONAL GRANDMOTHER, G. Work with me here.
I laughed despite myself.
Apple: Okay, serious now. Well, semi-serious. Here's what you need to do. Number one: text me every few hours. Just a quick "I'm alive" so I don't send a search party. Number two: if he tries anything—ANYTHING—you use that girl confident power and shut him down. Number three: if he somehow gets past your girl confident power and tries to get into your pants—
I snorted.
Apple: G, I'm being serious. If he tries anything, you knee him. Hard. And I mean really hard at the family jewels without any second thoughts. Men hate that. It's like their one weakness, right up there with kryptonite and emotional vulnerability.
Me: I'll keep that in mind.
Apple: And if he succeeds—not that he will, because you're strong and powerful—but IF he somehow charms his way past your defences, you use protection. Do you have protection? I can buy you protection. I'll add it to the pepper spray order.
Me: APPLE!
Apple: WHAT? I'm being a good friend. Good friends talk about these things. Good friends make sure their besties don't come back from weekend workshops with more than just academic insights.
I was laughing so hard I had to set the phone down for a moment.
Apple: Okay, okay, I'll stop. But seriously, G. Be careful. I know you think you can handle yourself, and I know you're probably right. But this guy—he's different. He got to you in a way I've never seen anyone get to you. And that scares me a little. Not because I think you're weak, but because I think you might actually care about this one. And caring about people is how we get hurt.
Her words hit closer to home than she knew.
Apple: So just... be careful. Okay? And if you need me—if ANYTHING happens—you call. I don't care what time it is. I don't care where you are. I'll find a way to get to you. I'll rent a car. I'll hire a helicopter. I'll run through the forest myself if I have to. I will come, and will cause problems for anyone who dares to hurt you.
Me: You'd really run through a forest for me?
Apple: G, I'd turn the whole world upside down for you. You're my best friend. The weirdest, most psycho, most emotionally "I dunno which part of the universe, I place my emotions at" best friend I've ever had, but still. You're stuck with me. So go to your creepy forest workshop. Shine your girl confident power. Make him regret ever running away from you. And remember—Jessica is with you.
Me: I love you, App. I'll get the pepper spray
Apple: Good! I love you too, you psycho. Now text me when you get there. And don't forget the pepper spray. I'm serious about the pepper spray.
I slipped my phone into my pocket, still smiling, and finished packing. The trap was set, and I was walking right into it.
But somehow, with Apple's chaotic love wrapped around me like armour, I felt ready for anything.