...
[What's up? And why are you here anyway?]
"Saiki-shishou, well... my brother suddenly told me today to go out and buy more clothes. So I came out and dragged Ebina and Kirie along to shop with me."
[Oh, I see. Then go shop. Why are you holding onto me?]
While talking to Saiki, Umaru secretly glanced back at Motoba Kirie and Ebina Nana with her eyes.
"But Kirie got here super early. After I brought Ebina along, her expression got kinda weird. She's the same way at school. I've already confirmed it—she's still really bad at dealing with Ebina! But Ebina's actually super nice. If this keeps up, I'm really worried about her!"
Saiki looked at the two girls standing behind.
Right now, Ebina Nana was trying to have a normal conversation with Motoba Kirie.
"Kirie, that outfit you're wearing today is super cute!"
Ebina Nana opened with a compliment attack.
Motoba Kirie was startled by Ebina Nana's sudden approach. She had been quietly watching Umaru the whole time, secretly hoping for some alone time with her to protect her while shopping.
So even though a tiny part of her felt happy at the praise, she had no idea how to respond. Her eyes darted away, avoiding eye contact and trying her best to ignore it.
(Still the same as before.)
[I think it's probably because all her attention is on you, so she doesn't want to deal with anyone else. Though honestly, she's just not good at socializing with people in general and doesn't plan to be.]
"Eh (‧_‧?) Really?"
[Probably.]
Umaru: "So Saiki-shishou, since you're just wandering around anyway and probably aren't in a rush to go home, why don't you come shop with us? Having one more familiar person around should help Kirie feel less nervous."
(How did it turn into this?)
Umaru turned back to the two girls behind her. "Saiki-shishou says he's free right now and is willing to come look at clothes with us..."
Saiki reached from behind and covered Umaru's mouth, whispering,
[I haven't agreed to anything!]
After breaking free, Umaru gave Saiki a pitiful, pleading look.
"Saiki-shishou... are you really not willing to go shopping with your most adorable, beloved disciple? We hardly ever see each other, and we barely ever go out together."
(We literally just met the day before yesterday.)
Right now Umaru looked exactly like an abandoned little animal—so pitiful it melted hearts. The surrounding passersby looked at her with sympathy, then instantly switched to glaring daggers at Saiki.
Passerby: "What's wrong with this guy? How could he make such a cute girl cry?"
Passerby [That jerk deserves to die. How dare he.]
Passerby: "And he still gets to shop with someone like her? Walking around with such a cute girl and he treats her like this."
Passerby [This guy doesn't know how good he's got it. I'm so jealous it's unforgivable.]
Passerby: "Ugh, he really deserves to die for making my goddess cry."
Passerby [Kill him.]
(The gossip wasn't just voices—it was heart voices too, all unified and completely shameless.)
Umaru whispered beside Saiki, "Saiki-shishou, what's wrong? Are you super busy? It's okay—even if you're busy, Umaru can handle things alone. Even if you don't have time to hang out with me, Umaru can manage by herself..."
(You...)
Saiki's face darkened completely as he stared at Umaru in front of him.
Seeing the people around them gradually start criticizing Saiki, Umaru magnanimously said, "What?! Saiki-shishou, you agreed to come with us!"
Saiki nodded.
"Yay! Thank you, Saiki-shishou!"
The surrounding murmurs instantly flipped to praise.
"That young guy's pretty decent!"
"Yeah, that's how a man should act."
(Grass on the wall doesn't flip that fast.)
...
Umaru brought Saiki over to the two girls. Saiki spoke first.
[So you're just here to buy a few clothes, right? Then let's just go to that store up ahead...]
Saiki had planned to finish this quickly—pick one store, buy fast, get it over with—but Umaru interrupted.
"Saiki-shishou, why don't we just go store by store, take a full lap first, and then go back to buy whatever we liked at the end!"
(Don't joke around. That'll take forever.)
Saiki remembered long ago when he used to go shopping with his mom. They'd walk through a dozen stores in the entire mall, get exhausted, and then she'd say the next one was cheaper. They'd keep going forward, only for her to say the one after that was better. They ended up looping several times. Even as a psychic with endless stamina, Saiki had felt mentally drained.
Once they actually entered a store, Saiki glanced at a few clothes and immediately found them way too flashy.
Umaru: "Saiki-shishou, are you buying clothes too? How about letting Umaru pick some out for you!"
[No, no need. I'm not buying anything today.]
Saiki didn't want anyone else choosing for him. He preferred plain, low-key clothes that didn't stand out. Letting someone else pick was out of the question.
"Okay... but then how about you help Umaru pick instead!"
[Ah, what a hassle. Just pick whatever you like yourself!]
"It's fine, come on, come on!"
Saiki casually scanned a few items and picked out a pink dress that seemed to suit Umaru.
[Mm, how about this one?]
"Mm, it looks pretty nice... wait, this expensive?!"
Saiki lifted the tag from the collar—5,980 yen.
[It's okay. Girls' clothes are usually more expensive than guys'. Yeah, it might seem a bit pricey, but didn't your brother give you money?]
Umaru was still in shock over the price.
Umaru [This dress is way too expensive! It's just a piece of cloth—enough to buy 60 cans of cola!]
(Do you only ever think about cola?)
The female store clerk, seeing the two of them discussing clothes, walked over with a smile. "Is there anything I can help you with?"
Umaru quickly switched from her shocked expression to a polite smile. "I... I'm just looking around?"
Umaru [This is too expensive. Better pass.]
(Drink less cola and you could afford it.)
After seeing Umaru's face and figure, the clerk became even more enthusiastic. "You have such a great figure and face! Are you a model? What brands do you usually like? Lately solid-color clothes are really popular, you know?"
"Uh... I..."
The sudden burst of enthusiasm caught Umaru off guard.
Only then did the clerk notice Saiki standing nearby holding the dress. Smiling at Umaru, she said,
"Is this your boyfriend?"
...