69. "IN MY LOVE LANGUAGE"
In my love langauge, things like this should only be given from one love to whom they love, we aren't lovers, she isn't my girlfriend but you'd swear she is by the way she just is to me. She validates my passion for writing and even when I talk, I can be myself and never worry about being judged and misunderstood.
She really doesn't have to do this but she does it anyways, everything she does and says makes me realize that what I want from love isn't too much to ask for, I just been looking for it in wrong places.
She constantly pours into me, it's as if she was sent to me with a purpose to make me realize that I can actually have all the things that I fantasize about. The energy is mutual, sometimes she does more when it comes to communicating and offering and I realize now I can actually be loved, treated and talked to in my love language.
I never have to give more than what I get, she understands and never judges me when I get a little bit wild with my words. She reciprocates, she keeps it consistent and again, she doesn't have to do this 'cause we're far from being lovers but all she's been doing is talking to me, treating me and giving me things in my love language.
70. "WILLING AND READY"
Can I fall in love again, can I open up to somebody new, can I start on a new leaf, could I accept if love would present itself to me? I wanna find out if there's somebody else that can love me better than the lover that I only know, I wanna know if I can fall in love with a whole different person, I wanna find out.
Change is hard for me to get along with, sometimes I run away, sometimes I hurt somebody and that's not because I'm a dog, it's just that this shit is all hard for me to adjust to. I gotta quit living in the past, there's nothing there for me anymore.
Is there more for me than what I've been going through for the last 2 years, is there a way that I could get a better love from a better person, can I start on a new leaf? I wanna find out.