***
I can't believe what happened yesterday. That was not chaste, at all!
Still, I didn't get to return the favor; whatever bravado Sophia found disappeared shortly after my climax. We went to sleep, although much snuggling was had.
Having a girlfriend is the best!
Jealous?
[No.]
'Definitely jealous.'
The conversation yesterday, before all of the fun stuff, has definitely helped my mental state. Maybe I should try communicating and being upfront with my feelings more. It would probably save me a whole lot of angst and anguish.
[Ohh?]
Nah, that sounds like a terrible idea. Nothing good ever comes from talking about your feelings.
Huh, that's weird. I feel a mental sigh coming from Gestalt. I wonder what that's about.
Anyway, now that the weight has been lifted, I feel like I need another goal to work towards. I've been a little aimless since the raid.
I still have some money left over, but a lot of it went on the artifacts, so I could use some more. I also wouldn't mind going down the Maria route and picking up a whole ton of basic loaded firearms that I could just pull from my domain to use then drop. Guns aren't the most expensive things in the world, but ten of them gets up there in price.
Dueling class was cancelled today, what with Gideon having left for god knows where. The Academy is weird. I'm pretty sure that we aren't actually graded on anything. Yeah, Astrid throws out some random letters in Asset Handling class. But she's the only one, and I'm pretty sure they are made up.
I have skipped a few lessons at this point and nobody seems to care. I had heard that this is what university is like back home. But even then it feels different. For the Riftwalkers, it seems like you can treat the Academy as an institution of learning, or a gangster clubhouse.
I fully plan to take the later route. That's why instead of doing any sort of self-study, Sophia and I are chilling out in one of the many tea houses of the city.
"I want to contact Belvedere again," Sophia says.
"Sure. How come?"
"He knows about the city. I want to buy a house. I've been keeping the cage kids in a hotel, but it's getting rather expensive. I would like to set up something a little more permanent."
Huh, honestly, I should have expected that. I didn't even think to ask what happened to those kids.
'Am I a bad person.'
[Yes.]
'Fair.'
"I'm pretty sure that Belly can help with that. He did say him and his mates grew up as street kids after all," I say. "We can go find him after this."
"Thank you, Tangeri…"
That was all Sophia managed to say, before the wall of the tea shop exploded.
The safe room coin is already in my hand. I'm lunging forward to grab Sophia, spinning up my mana core, so I'm ready to dump mana into the artifact and whisk us away.
But Sophia is pulling back, away from my grasp. Her own mana is flaring, being pushed into her barrier enchantment.
"The people!" She yells, "We can't leave them."
Who? Is she talking about the other customers? Who the fuck cares about them. Sophia is in danger.
The first bullets start ripping through the cafe. Sophia's barrier is stable, catching them before they can wound any more of the customers.
There is screaming; the shattered wall has injured anyone who was sitting close to it.
Sophia is already moving away from me to go and help them, as she feeds mana into her enchantment constantly. Bullets are still ricocheting off it.
Fuck.
Okay, first plan out the window. I'm pretty sure if I grab Sophia and bounce, she's going to hate me. But she is still in danger, and that cannot be.
Plan B: Protect Sophia by meeting all hostilities with proportional violence.
American style.
I pull the flashbang tablet from my domain and dump in all the mana that I have cycling in my core. It's so much mana the tablet nearly overcharges and fails. Nearly. I lob it through the opening of what was once the wall.
A second later, it triggers. Sophia's barrier whites out, filtering out the excess light and sound.
This was followed shortly by screaming, but the bullets continued to rain into the tea house. I guess it didn't impact as many assailants as I hoped.
I grab one of the tables and flip it over at the opening. It is not there for protection, just to obscure our assailant's vision. I take a quick peek over the table's edge. Fuck. The street is busy… the whole city is. But people are starting to run away in a panicked mob. The enemy has a mage and a lot of the incoming fire is from behind their barrier.
I fire off a few shots in their direction. Kinetic damage will knock down that barrier eventually, but they have a lot more guns than we do. No matter how good Sophia is at creating barrier enchantments, I don't think we are winning this war of attrition.
A lady grabs my legs - it's one of the customers. She's screaming at me, holding her half burnt face. I kick her in the head to make her shut up.
It works.
I run through my list of options. The Isochron scepter is back at the academy. I still need to copy a spell onto it, and it's going to take forever to pull into my domain. I have the Disruptor scepter which is probably going to be very handy against whatever bullshit that mage is cooking up.
Neko-Te is only really good in close combat situations, which is not something I plan to rely on at all. I could use the Goblin bomb, but I'm pretty sure that Sophia would get mad at me for unnecessary civilian deaths.
Only leaves my bad boy, the arc spitter. I stuff Chekhov into my waist band, and pull the arc spitter out of my domain. I scramble up onto my knees, brace the tommy gun looking weapon against my upturned table, and let rip.
Lightning flashed out in white-hot ribbons of energy, burning everything it touched. I think I caught a few civvies, but, well… unlucky I guess.
The arc spitter is doing work against the barrier, definitely burning it down quicker than they can burn down ours. With the help of the Sol ring, I can keep up a constant flow of damage.
"How are you doing, Sophia?" I scream out over the angry noise of my lightning gun.
"The barrier is holding. I've healed everyone I can, but a few are beyond my help."
"Okay! Stay safe!" I said, before activating my much weaker personal barrier, and diving over my table. I'm pretty sure I caught her screaming at me to stop, but that fucker's barrier is about to crack, and violence is best served swift and brutal.
The mage's barrier shatters as soon as I hit the street. I drop the arc spitter; my Sol ring has run empty and I don't have time to suck in enough ambient mana to power the thing. What little mana I have left in my core, I want to use for a different purpose.
The mage is the first to recover from the barrier shattering, his goons scrambling about, stunned. I can feel him drawing in mana to trigger some sort of instant. The Disruptor Scepter is already in my hand. I use the last of my mana to make his spell backfire, leaving him confused.
The bullet that follows up, leaves him dead.
From here, it's a fairly standard gunfight. The type I have practiced many times with Gestalt. Well, as standard as a gunfight can be. I immediately snuff out three of the goons as they scramble about. I duck behind a stall to reload. Honestly, I'm not sure I have to, as at this point, I don't think they have enough guns to deal with my barrier. Then I walk up to each one and give them fancy new holes.
It takes me less than three seconds to reload Chekhov. I stand up and walk through the street, dealing death to anyone who looks at me funny. Only one of the goons tries to fight - two to the chest makes short work of him. The rest are running. I manage to pen one in the spine before he gets away.
The street is almost empty. It has probably only been two minutes since the tea shop wall was destroyed.
I sent a message to Maria.
I grab the corpse of the mage, and flip him sunny side up. I kinda wished I hadn't made such a mess of his head.
'Gestalt, can you take a recording of what I see and send it to Maria?'
[Yes.]
I take a good look at the man, going through his mostly black robes, pulling out any bits of jewelry or artifacts I can find. Also rolling up his sleeves, looking for tattoos or any identifying marks. The all-black clothing is giving me big train assassin vibes.
I walk back into the tea shop to find a dust stained angel doing her best to keep people alive.
"You can drop the barrier. I've dealt with everyone I think. Come on, Maria wants us back at the Academy."
Sophia looks at me a little shocked. "But what about these people?"
I DON'T CARE ABOUT THESE PEOPLE!
I don't care at all!
All that matters is I get Sophia back to safety.
I take a breath. No, things are settled now. She is right. Sophia is safe, we can think about other things. I can at least ask Maria for some assistance.
There is a small wait before I get a response.
***
I was called into the Dean's office for a debrief. Tangerine was taken to Teacher Astrid's office for the same purpose. I'm not certain why she isn't being debriefed by Maria; they certainly have a stronger relationship.
"Tea?" Maria asks me.
"Ah, just some water if you please." I'm still feeling a little jittery after what happened this morning.
Maria hands me a glass of water and sits down on her side of the desk. "Please tell me what happened, in your own time."
So I do. I try my best to explain everything that happened and remember every detail I saw. Maria just listened and wordlessly wrote down everything I said.
When I was finally finished, Maria closed her note pad and smiled. "Thank you, Sophia. You seem to be handling the event well. This is your second incident, yes? The first being the raid. This was your first uncontrolled incident, and even though you were both on the back foot, you kept your heads cool and were able to handle the situation."
I breathe out a little sigh of relief.
"Although, you made the wrong call," Maria continued.
I… what?
"What do you mean?" I ask.
"By Academy standards, the lives of both you and Tangerine outweigh almost all the lives in the city. The safe room coins are meant to be used in exactly these situations."
"But what about all the people that got hurt?"
"What about them?" Maria said. "And even if you do care about the lives of random people, you still made the wrong call."
"I don't understand?" I am confused.
"Do you know what an outside context problem is?"
"No?" I am more confused now.
"An outside context problem is a threat or disruption that falls completely outside of anyone's experience or even comprehension. It is something that we have no way of handling." Maria pulled a gun from her domain. "Tangerine is an outside context problem."
Maria smiles as she slowly loads the weapon. "Do you know that Tangerine thinks that I am using her to keep you at the Academy?"
I feel very much like a fish out of water. Tangerine had lately talked about the Academy being one step up from a criminal organization, and that Maria was closer to a mob boss. This was the first time I really believed her. "I suspected, as I had heard nothing about an investigation into my curse." I said.
"I'm pretty sure I already know what is happening with that. I suspected before I met you. I have seen similar situations before. But I'm afraid that you will not like the answer."
She knows what my curse is?! And she is only telling me now?
"Please, I need to know!"
"You are a battleground. Well, it's even more banal than that, you are a game board. The Lord of Light and the Mother of Shadows…"
I immediately do the sign to ward off evil. How can she just speak that name? I dare not even think it.
Maria sighs, "They are merely gods, child. I met the Lord of Light once. A dreadful man, honestly he's worse than Bronson's family. Only someone like him would turn midwifery into a religion. But anyway, he and his… counterpart, are playing a game over your mind. He keeps you bound in his grasp during the day, and the other one tries to corrupt you at night. If you stay in the church, he wins; if you defect, she does. If your mind breaks in the process, well, that's a draw."
I am stunned by her revelation. I could not even begin to comprehend. How could it possibly be true that I was not only abandoned, but used as a game piece?
Maria buries the knife. "The Lord of Light does talk. It's hard to get the man to shut up. He heard all your prayers. He just chose not to respond."
I want to vomit. All those nights, all that pain. It went on for years. I… I…
"This is a lot to take in, I know. Unfortunately, I am going to make it worse." Maria places the gun towards me, handle first. "It is not uncommon for a Dean to handle cases of aberrant Rift Walking. They happen rarely after all. But Tangerine's fourth rift, the one we shut down when we caught up to her, wasn't anchored in any known realm. It wasn't anchored in a realm at all."
Maria lets out a little sigh. "I care for the girl. I really do. None of what I have said to her has been a lie. She quickly found a place in my heart. She keeps a room in my home. But for the Academy and the city, she is an outside context problem - I don't know what to do with her. We don't know what she's capable of. We don't know where she's from. To keep the Academy safe I should have probably dealt with her swiftly. But now I'm not sure that would even stop her. She is human as far as we can tell. But there is more to her than that, and we don't know what. Nobody does, and this makes everything about her so very complex."
"While it is not uncommon for a Dean to handle aberrant Rift walking cases, it is very abnormal to pick up students from the realms. I came to you on purpose. I brought Tangerine on purpose. She was a girl desperately craving a loving connection. More than I could provide as an aunt-like figure. She practically threw herself at Daisy when they first met."
My face darkened. "I am aware."
"I imagine you are." Maria chuckles, "but that would have been a dangerous combination. So then I tried others, nothing overt. I am trying to help Tangerine as best I can, given the situation. I paired her up with one of my more attractive maids, then I introduced her to Lillian and lastly of course, was you. I did not expect her to have such an effect on your curse, but I was very happy about it. Tangerine thinks I am keeping you two together to help your curse, and she is not wrong. But I am also not getting in the way because I like you. You are good for her. And then there is a third reason: you keep her locked down… you are keeping her human. What do you think happens to Tangerine if you get hurt?"
…I pause, because I have no answer to the question. "I do not know?"
"Yes, and nor do I. And that worries me. She is, as far as I can tell, obsessed with you. This is a double edged knife for me and this city."
The doors to her office swing open. Two guards come in, between them a struggling man with a sack over his head, kicking and screaming until one of the men snaps his head back with his fist.
"I know you would die for her. But I'm pretty sure that you would sacrifice your life to help those customers at that tea house. You would willingly put yourself in danger to help others. This is an admirable quality. But it is not what this Academy needs from its Rift Officers, and it is certainly not what I need from you for Tangerine."
"This man was one of the thugs that attacked you this morning. Some civilians lost their lives, and that is, in part, due to his actions. I want to know if you will kill for Tangerine. If you will let others die for her. If you will put her and your safety above all others. Because she needs that, the Academy needs that, and the city needs that."
Maria nudges the gun towards me, expecting me to take it.
She wants me to kill a man in cold blood. I…
What do I even do here?
I reach forward, and take the weapon. The cold iron feels heavy in my hands. This wouldn't be the first time I have been involved in a death, but I merely helped with the vampire. It was Tangerine that finished the job.
What would Tangerine do? That's a foolish question. She would have already killed him. Probably before Maria explained why she wanted him dead.
"What happens if I don't kill him?" I ask.
"I would revoke your coin, and you would have to remain on Academy grounds. You cannot be out there if I can't trust you to make the correct decisions. I wouldn't want to keep you apart - you two are good for each other. But even if I tried to, I'm pretty sure she would destroy half this academy looking for you."
"Are you that scared of her?"
"Yes. She almost tore an invasion-sized rift in the food hall the other day. I saw the readings; the rift was also unanchored. Apparently, that was because you made a favorable remark about another student. Tangerine is unstable and has more power than she can possibly handle. Could I kill her? I think so. Not that I want to, and even then I'm not entirely sure that would stop her."
"So it's my freedom, for the life of this man?"
"That mostly sums it up. I would of course, allow you to return to Arthurian, should you wish too. Although I'm not sure you would find any more freedom there. Tangerine would follow you, and then she would become Arthurian's problem. The Academy, and by extension, this city would be safe. I personally would rather you not pick this option. I have grown used to having the girl around, but I would not stop you."
I sit quietly for a while longer. Could I really do this? Kill a man for my freedom. For my ability to continue to live my life as I have?
I don't know what to do.
To remain locked away in the Academy is honestly not a fate I fear. It would be no different than my life before at the convent. Although, I would not be able to help the children in need as I want to.
To return to Arthurian…? I'm not sure I could do that anymore. Not now that I know about the Lord of Light's game. He never answered, he never helped. I struggle to believe what Maria told me, but why would she lie? What would there be for her to gain?
I could shoot the man. I hate that this is my best option. I hate that I am even considering it. But he never cared and he never worried about who he would hurt when he blindly fired into the tea house.
If he took the life of Tangerine, he would be joyous.
"Why did they attack us?" I ask, my hands tightening around the weapon.
"We believe he was hired, and we also believe that the dead mage who hired him was from the Infinite Archives. The same people that took Tangerine from her realm and attacked her on the train."
"You want me to defend Tangerine? To protect her and myself, to allow others to be harmed in our stead?"
"Yes. I need to know that you are capable of doing what needs to be done. So that Tangerine remains safe, both from outside actors, and from herself."
I stood up, walked over to the man, pressed the barrel of the gun against his sack covered head and pulled the trigger.
His body slumped on the ground, blood pooling.
I return to Maria and hand back the weapon. She took it, and then handed me a bucket.
Which I promptly threw up in.
Maria rubbed my back as the two guards dragged the corpse away.
"You made the right decision," is all she said.
***
***