"Shirou... So many years of conspiracy down the drain." Russell said directly into my head, not without a note of amusement.
"You know we couldn't do anything!"
"Couldn't? Wipe her memory, bribe her, stage an accident..." Russell began listing options like reporting the weather. I could almost see him calmly ticking off fingers, voicing ever more elaborate ways to 'resolve' the problem.
"Stop-stop! No 'accidents' or whatever else popped into your head! She hasn't done anything to deserve that."
"You so sure? She got you tangled up and made you her 'assistant.' At least I know what I'm doing when I experiment on you, but her..." Though he didn't finish, I clearly pictured Tohsaka in a white lab coat standing over me strapped to some magic circle with massive belts.
Now an 'accident' seemed a bit more appealing...
"Fine, I'll leave you to your problems. Your girlfriend's approaching the house..."
"I know... Wait, what did you say?! Russell!" More of his dumb jokes—Fuji-nee used to be the only one, and now him too!
Maybe I shouldn't have shown him modern culture. Why do even small good deeds backfire? Though Father said you'd more likely get a knife in the back than thanks for saving someone, this feels excessive.
In the end, doesn't a hero deserve some gratitude?
Distracted by the familiar chime from my 'security system,' I prepared to greet 'my girlfriend,' who'd come for dinner as usual.
I couldn't help recalling the time I gave her keys to my doors. The time after our first meeting when I intrigued her, though she tried not to show it. Back then I thought it was because of my help, and I still do, but there was something else in her behavior.
Sakura was withdrawn. Most of my attempts to get her talking hit a wall of silence. I had to use all my meager social skills to draw even the slightest reaction from her.
Once I even posed like an anime hero... That was probably the most embarrassing experience of my life, but it was worth it—I finally told her I'd protect her and wouldn't take no for an answer.
Only then did she silently agree, and we even exchanged home numbers, which we still use today.
That's when I first met her brother, Shinji. And unfortunately, he flat-out refuses to come to my house with his sister. I remember him saying I was mocking him and leaving while hurling insults in his usual style.
Probably, I'm just missing something. No matter how much I pondered it, I couldn't figure out Shinji's reaction. It wasn't typical big brother displeasure at his little sister's 'boyfriend.' More like he was mad at me for... something?
...Human relationships were never my strong suit. But I still hope someday I'll understand the reason for his conflict.
"Senpai, I'm here." Sakura's voice sounded from the entryway, and I replied without delay.
"Sakura! Wait a bit, I'll finish the udon for dinner soon." I said, then added: "By the way, mind helping with the meat? We should make something for the soup, or Fuji-nee will yell there's not enough food..."
"Of course, Senpai!" The girl replied immediately. "But I'm sure most of the dinner will go to you as usual..." Sakura finished, already taking off her pink jacket and heading to the sink to wash her hands.
"Can't help it. Training takes a lot of energy. You've started eating a lot more too since our morning runs..." I said and immediately regretted it...
"That's not true!..." The girl faltered, clearly hurt by my comment, but I elaborated.
"...Though, the increased appetite comes from the training. At the same time, you've looked much better since starting the morning runs. Actually, I'm starting to think you're doing extra workouts, given your progress..." I continued with direct flattery to lift her spirits.
"R-really? M-mm..." To my relief, the verbal 'jab' landed right. Sakura silently blushed and tucked her lilac hair behind her left ear.
And I wasn't lying at all. No one could deny Sakura was a beautiful girl. And since I see her almost every day, I've been lucky to witness her 'transformation' clearly over these years.
Today Sakura wore a white blouse with a long lavender skirt, topped with a cute pink apron that only enhanced her already pretty features. The light blush on her cheeks added 'points' to the overall look, so I couldn't help glancing at her.
It was easy to imagine what a beauty she'd become in the future. And after our many 'housekeeping lessons,' I was absolutely sure Sakura would make a wonderful wife.
At least that'd be possible once the old Worm was dealt with.
The rest of the cooking passed in cozy silence. Every movement was careful and precise. By now, after all our joint practice, we'd gotten used to cooking in the same kitchen and knew exactly what the other wanted, synchronously performing all the necessary actions without getting in each other's way, like an experienced chef duo.
Naturally, the peaceful idyll couldn't last forever, and soon my 'guardian' arrived, habitually yelling—"Shirou! Food!..."—and Mark, who unlike the energetic teacher calmly settled in the living room corner waiting for us to finish...
"Shiroo! I'm starving!..." Came another cry from the eternally hungry tiger.
"Wait a bit longer! It'll be ready soon." I replied, then quickly surveying our work, turned to my partner: "Sakura, can you set the table for now? I'll finish the rest."
"Of course, Senpai..."
A few minutes later, all the prepared dishes were on the table, and dinner began—to Fuji-nee's great joy. Everyone was in an extremely good mood, and Fuji-nee even allowed herself a bit of sake at the end, which I keep in a small bar by the fridge for such occasions. Mark steadily devoured the hefty steak made for him, managing to look strangely 'dignified' as if he were not a beast but an aristocrat in that form.
I recalled trying to feed him dog food once. He was not pleased and just tilted his head, as if asking 'what's this?' When I said it was his food, he tried the kibble and... I never thought a wolf could make a displeased face...
Since then, I haven't offered him anything like that. Good thing I'm not short on means.
Suddenly my musings were interrupted by a phone chime—I always keep it nearby. This enchanted mobile device looked like the recently released touchscreen phone, but this model was improved by Russell himself. Its main feature was basic mobile connection. Except our phone could connect even through all sorts of bounded fields, as long as the other side had the same 'model.'
Seeing my stepsister's face on the screen, I quickly accepted the call and held the mobile to my ear.
"Illya?"
"Little brother! Why didn't you call me yesterday? I'm so bored alone here..." The silver-eyed girl's loud voice rang out, clearly displeased with my neglect.
"Sorry-sorry, my bad... Yesterday was a really packed day, so I forgot..."
"Hmph! Forgiven this time, but you owe me! And you have to tell me what happened!"
"Of course, Illya..." I said, not hiding my smile and estimating how much cookies I'd need to bake to 'smooth things over.'
Maybe just bake her a cake? I wanted to try a new recipe anyway...
And that's when I felt the stares... No, 'Stares.' Remembering I wasn't alone in the room, I saw Sakura and Fuji-nee staring right at me with wide eyes.
"Shirou? Who's that girl?..." My guardian voiced the question hanging in the living room, while Sakura just kept her eyes on me.
"Little brother? Is someone there?" While I thought how to respond, Illya's voice came from the phone. Noting the sound was loud enough for everyone to hear my sister's words, I realized one thing...
I'm an idiot.
Ignoring the sound of some palm slapping some face somewhere in my Reality Marble, I could think of nothing better than to say:
"Illya... Mind meeting someone?"
...Half an hour later...
"So you're saying... You have a sister?"
"Yes."
"And she's Kiritsugu's daughter..."
"Yes..."
"And I, as your guardian and actual family member, only learn about this now?"
"Y-yes..."
"Shiroo... Why didn't you tell me sooner?!..." Fuji-nee's yell pained the ears of all the unwilling listeners, and for the umpteenth time that evening, I mentally slapped myself.
I'd gotten too relaxed. Seems like everything that could go wrong these past few days did, and I managed to make it worse...
In the end, I had to come up with an excuse at warp speed. I even used Reinforcement on my brain to speed up thinking and ease the situation.
And knowing Taiga and the topic, I need to come up with something right now!
"Fuji-nee..." I sighed and shook my head. "See... We can't meet Illya..."
"What do you mean 'can't'? She's Kiritsugu's daughter and your sister, isn't she?!" My guardian's displeasure was plain as day. Not surprising, though. She's always been a very kind person, and no one would find this situation easy to accept.
But before I could reply, someone else did for me.
"Don't yell at little brother!" Illya's shout came from the phone facing us on the table. I'd turned on video so we could see each other, and now I, Sakura, and Fuji-nee sat 'across' from Illya.
"But they...!" The woman sometimes called Taiga wanted to continue but was cut off by Illya's unexpectedly strong and willful voice:
"Stop! They can't—means they can't! I won't tolerate accusations against my brother!" Her usually cute face on the other side of the phone was a mix of anger and determination. Though I've known her a long time, I was still surprised by such a sharp outburst of anger.
Especially since it was in my defense...
"But..." Meanwhile, unaware of my thoughts, Fuji-nee wilted, scolded by Illya.
"No buts! If you dare call yourself his guardian and big sister, you shouldn't act like this! And that means if he says we can't meet, then we can't!" Calming a bit, Illya said, her gaze piercing Fuji-nee with unignorable will, and soon the woman gave in.
"I... I'm sorry, Shirou. It was just so sudden..." Fuji-nee said guiltily and bowed slightly in apology.
"No need to apologize." I began, shaking my head, and smiled. "I think if I were in your place, my reaction would've been worse."
"But, Senpai..." Sakura joined the conversation questioningly. "How did it turn out that we've never seen your sister?..."
I closed my eyes, pondering what I should reveal. If Sakura were here alone, I could tell her the full version, but because of Fuji-nee, I'd have to skip some parts.
Gathering my thoughts, I took a deep breath and lifted my gaze to my listeners.
"I'll tell the short version. If any questions come up, ask them afterward. We'll try to answer all of them…"
…And I began my story…
"Kiritsugu married a girl from an old German family long ago—one that cared deeply about its status and fortune. Father wouldn't have been accepted into the family, but he proved his usefulness and married Irisviel, the daughter of the Einzbern family. They were happy for a time, but one day, our father's work with Illya failed, and Irisviel died as a result of that failure. The Einzberns were furious with Kiritsugu and wouldn't let him return to Illya, separating him from his daughter. It was only after countless attempts, shortly before his death, that he finally managed to contact Illya, and since then, we've kept in secret contact like this." I finished, gesturing toward the phone where Illya sat with a slightly downcast expression…
"But how could they! How dare they forbid Kiritsugu from seeing his own daughter!" Fuji-nee was angry… No, she was furious. Even the usually calm Sakura clenched her fists tightly. Interesting—does she know about the Einzberns? If so, Sakura could easily recognize Illya as a Homunculus from her distinctive appearance.
"Fuji-nee, even though they have no moral right to do that, we still can't do anything about it." Not yet. But that's a matter for the future.
"But… Couldn't we just… Call the authorities or…?"
"Do you really think Father didn't try every possible method? Remember how often he traveled abroad… Now you know why." I pressed, meeting Fuji-nee's eyes, from which powerless tears streamed in salty drops.
Despite all my training, efforts, experiments, and so much more, I still can't help even my own family! What's the point of it all?! I understand there are countless obstacles and consequences that prevent me from acting rashly. I get it. I really do. Father drilled into my head a huge number of grim scenarios if I'm not careful.
It's just that no amount of understanding makes the waiting any easier. If it were up to me, I'd have stormed the Einzbern estate long ago and taken Illya away, just to spare her that longing…
"Shirou…" Lost in thought, I hadn't noticed Sakura sit closer and squeeze my hand in support.
I'd overreacted. Yeah.
"Thanks, Sakura…" In response, I squeezed her hand back and smiled to pull myself together again.
Things aren't perfect right now, but I can still help everyone. Make it so that each of them—Sakura and Illya—can live happy lives.
"Good lord… I thought you were the oldest of them, yet you're crying like a little kid…" Suddenly, Illya's snarky voice came from the phone, making me turn toward it.
This isn't good…
"Wh-what?! I'm crying because it's sad! And I'm not a kid!" I couldn't tell if Fuji-nee's face showed more shock or indignation, but better not get involved in the incoming "war."
As Illya's brother, I'd learned over time that my sister had a sharp tongue… She just usually hid it well behind her childlike mask. Sometimes her behavior and appearance make me forget that Illya is older than me…
"Then stop crying! Things could've been much worse. But Dad still reached me, even if not in person. And he left me a little brother, so I have no reason to cry!"
"B-but…"
"That's it! I'm tired! Little brother, call me tomorrow like you promised!" And Illya hung up, but just before, I caught the unshed tears in her shining crimson eyes.
I'll save you for sure, Illya…
…After dinner…
"Haaah…" I exhaled and glanced over my shoulder toward the living room while my hands habitually scrubbed the dishes in the kitchen sink. "Fuji-nee finally calmed down. It took even longer than I expected…"
"Fujimura-san is a very impressionable person. It seems the story with Illya really shook her." Sakura commented, then added with a smile: "Plus, she drank too much sake. I didn't even know she could handle that much…"
"True. Next time, I'll hide the alcohol farther away." I chuckled, seeing Sakura's expression mirror my own.
"Indeed."
When Illya hung up, Sakura and I had to soothe one drunk tiger… Luckily, she didn't get rowdy, just shed tears and demanded more sake. After the third bottle, Taiga finally passed out completely, and I carried her to the guest room.
It reminded me of the time I'd done this before. The last time was right after Kiritsugu's "death"…
Sometimes I think it would've been better to tell her about magic. After all, "Kiritsugu" is alive, even if in a dire state. I can't even imagine her reaction when she learns the Old Man is just in a controlled "coma."
Fuji-nee might even use her favorite cursed shinai. I wouldn't even resist, since she'd be completely right.
I just hope that day she'll focus more on Kiritsugu than on me.
"Senpai? Something wrong?" Sakura's voice pulled me from my thoughts. She stood to my right, helping wash the mountain of dishes. Luckily, my expanded and upgraded kitchen easily fits four cooks without them getting in each other's way.
I still think it was my best spending decision… Second only to the giant stove. But since it's part of the kitchen, the points go into the overall tally.
"No, nothing like that. Just lost in thought…" I answered honestly before asking: "Sakura, do you know who the Einzberns are?"
"A little… But, I suppose… Illya isn't human?" Sakura said softly, her face falling as she lowered her head slightly.
"Not exactly… She's Kiritsugu's biological daughter, human, but her mother was a Homunculus, so Illya's something like a half-blood. Still, she's a living person, a girl, and my sister." I'd spent a lot of time talking with Illya on the phone and otherwise. We even played video games when she was sure no one would enter her room.
It took hours to show her Fuyuki and even Avalon itself via camera. But recalling her childlike wonder at the sight of the massive white royal castle, its majestic walls, and the bustling life beyond them always brings a smile to my face. She even made me promise to bring her there in person someday.
Of course, I'll happily give Illya that tour, but the "how" fell entirely on Russell's shoulders…
"You're so kind, Senpai. You always try to make things better no matter what, like a true Hero…" Sakura said with a tender smile, momentarily stealing my breath. For some reason, those words from her lips… hit deep.
It took me a moment to gather my thoughts and speak again.
"I-I'm not sure I qualify as that…" I said, my gaze dropping involuntarily. "I try to help everyone, but… Is it possible to help them all? Save everyone…?"
"…What do you mean, Senpai…?" Sakura asked, tilting her head, clearly not following.
"Sakura, you remember I wanted to be a hero, right?" I glanced at her, saw her nod, and continued: "Well, that hasn't changed. I've always wanted to save people. Do it the way the Old Man saved me once—with that same happy smile, like he'd saved not just one kid, but the whole world." I smiled, recalling that day, and chuckled softly. "Heh… Now I think maybe for him, it was."
At some point, Sakura finished her share of the dishes and watched my face intently as I kept wiping the last plate absentmindedly, continuing:
"But Father never wanted me to become a hero. He always said it hurts too much. That the path is paved with the bodies of your loved ones, your emotions, and filled with loneliness. As a hero, you're always faced with choices between greater and lesser sacrifices. Bad or terrible. He thought it would doom me to suffering and, ultimately, death…"
Setting the last plate aside, I leaned over the sink, wondering why I'd started spilling my thoughts.
It was odd. I'd never told anyone this before. I'd only asked Russell how to become a true Hero, but he didn't know the right answer—according to him, they didn't exist in his world. Kiritsugu himself, when he saved me from the fire, looked incredibly happy. That's why I always took that joyful image as my model. My Ideal.
From that moment, I wanted to feel that same happiness one day. Show that same smile as Father did on the day of the fire.
Only later, seeing his memories, learning his story, hearing it from his own mouth, did I finally realize…
That smile, that incomparable relief… Grew directly from the boundless despair Father felt. Because when he found me in the flames, he didn't just save me… He saved himself, Kiritsugu.
If such a smile comes from that many sacrifices, I don't want to follow my father's path…
But if it's not my path… If I can't be a Hero like Kiritsugu, then… What should I do? What kind of hero do I want—and more importantly, can—become?
"Sakura…" I turned to her and looked straight into her eyes. "…Do you think it's possible to help everyone? Is there a way to make everyone happy?"
I don't know what I wanted to hear when I asked… My thoughts were a jumble as images of fire, people screaming for help, Kiritsugu, and even Illya flashed in my mind. Only the amethyst eyes of the girl beside me stood out vividly among the visions my mind conjured…
Why am I even saying this? Sakura has a mountain of her own problems, and here I am dumping mine on her. And mine don't even compare to hers. Damn, my worries aren't even problems compared to what Sakura endures every day…
"Sorry, Sakura. I shouldn't have said all that. I think I'm just a bit tired from calming Fuji-nee…" I tried to change the subject with an embarrassed smile, when suddenly warmth enveloped my hand from familiar fingers…
"Senpai…" Sakura said suddenly as our eyes met. "I don't know everything you've been through. I can't understand all your thoughts…" Taking a moment to steel herself, she looked resolutely into my eyes and continued: "But in the time I've known you… You've always been kind to everyone. Always decisively helped those unfairly in danger. Always did what you thought was right. Always cared for me… If there's anyone in the world who can bring happiness… And deserves it himself… For me, that person is you, Senpai…"
After that speech, I unexpectedly lost my voice. Words refused to come as I drowned in her amethyst gaze.
I don't know how it happened, but the last time something like this occurred… was during the fire… But now it's different. I was happy to hear her words. I felt an unsuspected weight lift from my shoulders… I didn't want to say anything then, but giving in to the surging emotions, I pulled Sakura closer and hugged her tightly, soon feeling her embrace in return.
Some time later, we finally pulled apart. I'm not sure about my expression, but Sakura's face had definitely gained several shades of red. Maybe I overdid it, but in my defense, I couldn't help it.
I just wanted some way to thank Sakura. Though the sight of her flustered face will stay in my memory forever.
"Sorry, Sakura… I shouldn't have hugged you, I just did it on impulse…"
"I-it's fine, I don't mind! Glad I could help." Sakura tucked her hair behind her ear with that familiar motion.
"Thanks, Sakura… You really helped me a lot." I smiled as brightly as I could, trying to convey all my gratitude.
…
The rest of the evening passed peacefully. We chatted idly and reconnected with Illya. They seemed to hit it off quickly. It looked like Sakura didn't know what to say, while Illya grilled my "kohai" about everything she could think of.
For example, when Illya learned Sakura had learned cooking from me, she declared she wanted to judge the girl's skills personally. Sakura was initially surprised, asking how she could feed Illya from here, but I explained we could send items between us, so it wouldn't be a problem. In the end, Illya became the culinary "judge" evaluating Sakura's skills…
Her verdict was "satisfactory," but Illya's serious expression was betrayed by her face, which clearly showed pleasure as the cookies vanished rapidly…
Sakura and I silently agreed that the excellent cook had shown her skills perfectly.
When late evening came, Illya hung up because her maid was about to visit before bed. Then Sakura started getting ready to go home with Mark, who habitually escorted her as personal "security."
After saying goodbye and as I was about to close the door, Sakura suddenly stopped and turned back with a slightly tense expression.
"Senpai… If you're free tomorrow evening… My grandfather wants to meet you. He asked me to invite you to our house, and…" Her previously good mood darkened suddenly. I didn't let on, pretending not to notice, and replied in my usual tone:
"Of course, Sakura. If that's what he wants, I'll come for dinner."
"Then I'll go. See you tomorrow, Senpai, and…" The girl looked extremely worried but finally added: "…Please, Senpai, with my grandfather… Be careful."
With that, Sakura bowed and hurried away…
I watched her go for a bit longer, then closed the door when she was out of sight.
"Guess the time has come…"
"Seems like it, Shirou. We need to prepare…"
Tomorrow will be a tough day, and Tohsaka won't even be my biggest problem…
Tomorrow my blades must be sharper than ever…
***
Read the story months ahead of the public release — early chapters are available on my Patreon: Granulan